by M. K. Eidem
She sounds the same. How is that possible?
Victoria’s world has collapsed. Again. Only this time, she truly was by herself. She couldn’t ask Aunt Cassie, could no longer trust her answer. How could she? Not when she was the one who encouraged Victoria to send the transmissions. She’d let her believe Lucas cared...why? Too exhausted to think anymore, she rises to collapse on the bed.
Victoria’s eyes move around the table as she tries to follow the multiple conversations. She walked into Emans, one of several off duty destinations on board the Retribution, alone. Hoping a few hours out of quarters would help her decide what to say when Aunt Cassie called later.
When Jager approached, inviting her to join a table of crewmen, she’d been surprised and found she was enjoying herself, at least until Lucas showed up.
“Victoria would you like another drink?”
“What?” She turns to the voice and realizes Jager is talking to her.
“Another drink?” He smiles at her.
“No… no thanks.” She absently returns his smile, looking at her watch. “I need to get going.”
“What! No. Stay longer,” Jager pleads.
“I have a transmission coming in at 2100. Sorry.” She looks at the group around the table. “It was very nice to meet all of you. Good night.” Standing, she walks towards the door.
“I’ll get the drinks, you grab a table,” Dodge tells Lucas.
“Yeah. Sure.” As Dodge crosses the bar, he sees Victoria walking towards the door.
“Victoria!”
“Lieutenant.” Her cool tone surprises Dodge, as does her address.
“Lucas and I are having a drink, why don’t you join us.”
“No thank you. Good night.” Walking by him, she leaves the bar.
Lucas watches Victoria stop to talk Dodge then move on, never once looking in his direction. He hasn’t seen or heard from her in four days. He’d been so sure she’d come to him, she always had in the past. What is he going to do?
“That was strange.” Dodge sits down, handing him a drink.
“What was?” Lucas' eyes are still on the door Victoria walked out.
“Victoria. I couldn’t even get a smile out of her. She called me Lieutenant.” When Lucas doesn’t reply, Dodge looks at him, he’s been in a crappy mood for days now. He’d hoped that getting him out would help. Instead, it seems to have made it worse.
“What’s going on Lucas?”
“Nothing, look, I’m not in the mood. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Leaving his drink untouched, Lucas leaves Emans.
The comm is ringing when Victoria enters her quarters.
“Chamberlain.”
“Victoria! Hi!” The Queen’s happy tone greets her.
“Hi. How are you?” At the cool response, there’s a pause.
“I’m fine. What’s wrong?” Cassandra demands.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Victoria has been thinking about it all week and decides on the direct approach. “When were you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That’s Lucas has been avoiding me all these cycles? That he requested I not be at his promotion ceremony?” Victoria can't keep the hurt out of her voice.
“Victoria…”
“You knew!” Victoria fires at her. “And still you let me make a fool of myself.”
“You’ve done no such thing!” Cassandra vehemently denies.
“What would you call it?” she demands. “I told you cycles ago that Lucas was my life mate, and you knew he didn’t feel the same way, knew he was avoiding the Palace, the boys, because of me!”
“Lucas makes his own choices…” Cassandra tries again.
“You told Uncle William what I said, didn’t you.” When silence greets her, she knows she’s right. “So for all this time, he knew how I felt about his son. Knew it was keeping him away from his brothers, and you didn’t feel I had the right to know!” she demands.
“Victoria, what’s going on?”
“Lucas and I had an interesting discussion. I learned a lot. Things I should have known all along. You had no right Aunt Cassie not to tell me why he was staying away. You had no right to tell the High Admiral what I told you in confidence.”
“The High Admiral?” Cassandra questions softly.
“When this tour is over, I’m going to spend some time with Amina. The Major is going to come to the Palace and spend some time with his father and brothers, without having to worry about avoiding me.”
“His father… his brothers…” Cassandra whispers.
“Yes. I’d appreciate it if, in the future, you would let me know when the Major is going to be in the Palace so I can limit my visits. It’s the least I can do.”
“Now wait a minute. This is your home!”
“No Aunt Cassie.” she tells her softly. “It’s yours. Yours and your families. My home was on Earth. It always will be.”
“Victoria…”
“I love you Aunt Cassie. You and your husband have sacrificed a lot for me, I know that, and I’ll always be grateful but it’s time I take care of myself. You need to take care of your family and that includes the Major.”
“You are family, Victoria, just as much as Lucas!”
“Aunt Cassie… you’ve done more than mom and dad could ever have expected you too. You have a husband, two stepsons, a daughter-in-law, a step granddaughter, and three sons, all who need your help, guidance and attention. I’ve grown up. You’ve done your duty.”
“DUTY! Victoria Lynn! Don’t insult me.”
“I apologize. I never meant to.” Victoria takes a shuddering breath. “I need to step back, Aunt Cassie. Get a clearer picture of what I want, why I want it, and where I want to go. I need you to understand and give me that space. Please.”
“Tell me what happened? What did Lucas say to you?”
“Just the truth. A truth I didn’t want to see. You shouldn’t have let me fool myself for all these cycles, Aunt Cassie.” Victoria’s voice finally breaks, as tears flow down her cheeks. “It was only ever going to be a dream and you knew that. You knew it wasn’t possible and yet, you let me believe...” She finds she can’t go on.
“Victoria…”
“Give the boys a hug for me okay? Tell them I’ll talk to them soon. I love you Aunt Cassie.” She quickly disconnects.
William enters the Royal Suite and sighs. It feels so good to be home. It’d been a long tiresome day of endless meetings but finally he’s home. Finding the living area empty, he heads to their private chambers, his eyes immediately finding his wife sitting in the window seat. Approaching he starts to smile, until he sees the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Cassandra! What is it?” He rushes to her side.
“Something’s wrong.” she whispers.
“What! The baby? I’ll call Bliant!” Before he can rush to the comm, her voice stops him.
“No! It’s not the baby or me. It’s Victoria.”
Trying to calm his racing heart, he sits down next to her. “What do you mean? She’s fine, she’s on the Retribution.”
“She’s on the Retribution but she’s far from fine. I just got done talking with her.” She leans against his chest.
“What happened?”
“She wouldn’t really tell me.”
“I call Lucas, he’ll know.”
“William…” She waits until he looks at her. “I think Lucas is the problem. He said something to her. I can’t believe he meant it, but…”
“He told her he was her life mate?”
“No… he told her he’s been staying away, because of her.”
“Well he has been.”
“No William. Because of her. He told her he requested she not be at his promotion ceremony. That he didn’t want her there. She thinks we’ve been letting her make a fool of herself all these cycles.”
“She’s done no such thing!”
“She knows I told you… about her feelings for Lucas.” Closing his eyes,
William sighs heavily. “She accused me of breaking a private confidence.”
Now his eyes shoot to hers.
“She had no right to say that to you.”
“She does, because I did. William… she’s not coming back.”
“What do you mean, not coming back?” His voice is still.
“After the tour, she told Lucas he should come home and spend time with his father and brothers without having to worry about her intruding.” Cassandra’s tears start to flow again. “William, when I told this was her home, she said no, it’s not. Her home was on Earth. She’s pulling away, letting go.”
“We won’t let her.”
“She said we’ve done our duty and it was time to concentrate on our own family.”
“What!”
“William… she wouldn’t say Lucas’ name, called him Major…”
“What else?” He can tell there’s more and isn’t sure he wants to know. “Cassandra, tell me.”
“She wouldn’t call you Uncle. It was always High Admiral, the Major’s father, the boy’s father, or my husband. Whatever was said, has her believing she’s interfering in the rest of the family’s life, that if she’s involved, we all suffer.”
William didn’t know his heart could ache like this. He still remembers the day she asked if she could call him Uncle because that made him just hers, special, now she was trying to take that away. He won’t allow it.
“I’ll contact Lucas, find out what happened.”
Cassandra’s hand stops him as he goes to rise.
“You can’t. She asked me to give her space. To give her time to decide what she wants to do. Now that she knows the truth.”
“But she doesn’t. She doesn’t know he loves her.”
“And that’s not for us to tell. William, if you contact him, she’ll never trust us again, with anything, you know that. We’ll truly lose her then.”
“What a mess.” William pulls his life mate into his arms, and together they watch the Carinian moonrise.
Chapter Three
“Very good Cade.” The nine cycle beams up at her as she hands him his paper. “Now since you all did such a wonderful job on these essays, I’m going to cut you all a break…” She smiles at the eager eyes. “No homework for the weekend.” The excited yells she receives has her shaking her head. “Go, enjoy your time off.”
Opening the hatch, she smiles at her students’ mass exodus from the classroom. When she’d been that age, a weekend without homework would have been a punishment, not a reward. Shaking her head, she cleans up the room before gathering up her things.
Dodge has had enough. Lucas is driving the flight crews crazy, calling last minute inspections, changing patrols, reaming people for no reason. Everyone is on pins and needles. It’s been this way for two weeks. It wasn’t the Major’s style.
“What the fucks wrong!” He demands, entering the office.
“What do you mean?” Lucas leans back, steely eyes pinning Dodge.
“You’re climbing up everyone’s ass like we’re first cycle cadets! The deck hands are scared to crack a joke. You reamed Flash for moving too fast! What’s going on?”
“You questioning me, Dodge?” His voice is ice cold.
“When you’re acting like this. YES! It’s not your style to intimidate, bully and just be plain mean, Lucas. So yes, I’m questioning.” Lucas surges to his feet, but Dodge refuses to back down, locking eyes with him until Lucas, with a heavy sigh, turns away, rubbing his neck.
Moving to his charts, Lucas stares unseeing at them. He knows he’s been snapping at people, been demanding but he didn't realize it had gotten so bad. It’s been over two weeks since he's talked to Victoria, he can’t take much more. “Have I really been that bad?”
“Fuck yes!”
“Shit.”
“So what crawled up your ass?”
“Nothing. Look, I’m sorry…” Before he can finish, an explosion rips through the flight deck followed by screams and alarms.
Both men run for the hatch.
“Tori, are you going to Emans tonight?” Jager stands close, as she secures the hatch to the classroom.
“Emans?” Victoria looks at him over her shoulder. “I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it. Same group?” They walk towards her quarters.
“Yeah, well except for Tank, he’s still on the flight deck cleaning up from the explosion.”
“Explosion? What explosion?” They reached her quarters.
“One of the deck hands over filled a Blade, with a pilot in it, Hot Dog. Get it?” He chuckles at his own joke, since the pilot’s handle was Hot Dog. When Victoria doesn’t laugh, he quickly continues. “The tank exploded. Zafar barely got him out before he was roasted. They were both taken to medical.”
“Lucas is hurt?!!” Jager is taken aback at the intensity of her demand.
“So I hear. Shit, I forgot he’s your brother.”
“He’s not my brother.” she corrects him. “Look Jager, I’ve got to go, maybe I’ll see you later.” Opening her hatch, she closes it in his face.
Lucas is hurt. He’s hurt. Dropping her books, she has to sit. Then stands to pace. No one called her. He didn’t call her. Of course, he wouldn’t call her. It can’t be bad if no one called her. Right? Pacing, she runs trembling fingers through her hair. Does she go, find out? Is that over stepping?
Oh, fuck it! He may not love her, but he’s still Aunt Cassie’s family. Changing into jeans and a shirt, she heads to medical.
“And I told you, I am not staying here. I outrank you, so get me, my fucking clothes!” Hearing Lucas’ voice, Victoria’s heart calms. Pulling back the curtain, she finds him sitting with his back to her, arguing with Gabor. Spying his burnt and torn clothes on the floor, she picks them up between two fingers.
“You mean these?” At her voice, Lucas’ head whips around. He hasn’t seen her since Emans. As he does, she sees his bandaged hands and swallows back a gasp before she meets his eyes. “How bad?”
“It’s nothing.” he starts to deny.
“Yeah, that’s what it looks like.” Dropping the clothes, she picks up the screen at the end of the bed.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Ignoring him, she reads the chart.
“Second degree only?” Frowning, she looks to the assistant. “It’s Gabor, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it’s Gabor.” She’s surprised the girl remembers. “And yes, second degree only. Hands and arms up to his elbows, he has some singeing on his thighs and chest but no vital areas affected.”
“Excuse me! I’m right here!” His eyes flash angrily at Gabor.
“Shut up, Major.” The absolute calmness and authority in Victoria's voice shocks both him and Gabor. “Only 3mgs of turpidian? Why not 6?” she continues to question.
“He has a mild concussion. The second explosion threw them both to the deck.”
“Landed on his head huh? Probably put a dent in the flight deck.” Gabor can’t help but grin.
“Look, I don’t know what you think you’re doing but…” Lucas starts.
“How’s Hot Dog?” Victoria ignores him, looking to Gabor.
“Mostly second, his flight suit protected him. Some third on his lower extremities. Would have been a whole lot worse if the Major hadn’t gotten him out when he did.”
“You’ve got him in the burn blanket? Giving him sapophine?”
“Yes…” Gabor gives her a considering look. “Do you want to talk to Dr Magnes? He’s in with him now.”
“Yeah I would. This one can wait.”
“Now just a minute…” Lucas has had enough of being ignored.
“Major, stop flashing your bare ass and lay down, I’ll deal with you in a minute.”
When he opens his mouth to argue, she pins him back with hard eyes, then follows Gabor into the private exam room.
What the fuck was that! Lying back, Lucas finds she isn’t lying. His ass is hanging out of the fucking gown! She acted as if she knew
what she was talking about and even Gabor listened to her. How the fuck had she remembered Gabor?
Entering the exam room, Victoria remembers the last time she’d been here. After another explosion, one that almost killed Aunt Cassie. While she’d been hurt she had fared a great deal better than Hot Dog. Seeing he is wrapped in the burn blanket from shoulder to foot, Victoria has to rely on the monitors to gage his injuries. His lower extremities are too hot. Moving to the controls, she adjusts the blanket.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Magnes demands.
“You don’t have the lower quadrant adjusted properly, his burn is still spreading. It needs monitored more closely.”
Checking the monitor, he finds she’s right.
“You’re Chamberlain. How’d you learn about burn reduction?”
“I’ve been interning with Dr Selfridge at Camotes for the last three cycles.”
“I thought you were an educator.”
“On sabbatical, trying to decide if I want to change specialties. Can I see his chart?”
Magnes hands it over, assessing her as she reads.
“Where are you sending him?”
“To Camotes, he leaves within the hour.”
“Give Selfridge a heads up. Make sure you tell her these are vaporous burns from fuel. She’s his best chance of getting back into the cockpit. She’ll take him.” Seeing Hot Dog’s listening, she leans over.
“She has a soft spot for good looking pilots.” Victoria winks at him and gets only a half-smile from the normally flirty pilot. “She’s the best, Hot Dog. She’ll have you up chasing medicals before you know it, just don’t pinch her ass. Her husband’s very protective of it.” That got her a full grin.
“Do you have any regison?” She looks back to Magnes.
“Yes, why?”
“You’ll need to clear it with Selfridge first, but she’ll want you to add it to the fluids in his port, 5mg per bag. It’s her new treatment for thirds, it will help with cell regeneration, especially when started this soon.”
“I’ll confirm with her.”
“What do you want done with Zafar?”
