‘Is Jakob back?’ he asked.
‘Yes, he came home late this morning.’
‘But he’s not with you now?’
‘You needn’t worry — no one saw me come in,’ said Matthildur. ‘Not that I’d care if they did. I couldn’t care less.’
‘What. . what’s the matter, Matthildur?’ he asked. ‘What happened this morning?’
‘I had a letter yesterday evening from my sister Ingunn.’ She took an envelope out of her pocket. ‘She moved to Reykjavík a while back and we haven’t written much. I knew she was against me marrying Jakob but until now I didn’t know why. You can read it if you like.’
She handed it to him and he read it twice before putting it down on the table.
‘What does Jakob have to say?’
‘Nothing,’ said Matthildur. ‘He remembers Ingunn from Djúpivogur; he admits that much. But he reckons there’s no way the baby’s his. Says he’s told Ingunn before but she’s got this crazy idea. He claims she’s off her rocker.’
‘And you knew nothing about this?’
‘Ingunn never told me till now. I knew she had a child in Reykjavík but I never for one minute connected it to Jakob.’
‘Was he aware that you and Ingunn were sisters when you met?’
‘Yes, and I knew they were acquainted,’ said Matthildur, ‘but that’s all, nothing about the baby or what sort of relationship they’d had. He never mentioned it, never mentioned the affair. He still won’t talk about it. Refuses even to discuss it. He just told me to shut up. He hit me, then stormed out of the house. Where he is now I don’t know.’
‘He hit you?’
‘Yes, on the head.’
‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes, it just gave me a bit of a shock.’
‘Do you believe your sister?’
‘Yes.’
‘What are you going to do, then?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Matthildur. ‘I don’t know what to do. I wanted to see you because I had to know if you were aware of this. Did you know he’d had a child with my sister?’
‘I had no idea,’ Ezra assured her.
‘So he never mentioned any of it to you?’
‘Not a word.’
‘He could have children all over the place for all I know. He’s probably been chasing skirt in Djúpivogur all this time!’
She reached out for the letter and before he knew what he was doing he had laid his hand shyly over hers. The gesture was almost instinctive. Instead of snatching back her hand, she met his gaze.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, releasing her hand. ‘It’s not. . I’m sorry. You’re upset.’
‘It’s all right.’
‘I’ve never experienced this before,’ he whispered.
‘Don’t be ashamed,’ she said. ‘I feel happy when I’m with you.’
He glanced up again and their eyes locked.
‘You’re a good man, Ezra.’
‘You can’t imagine how I’ve been feeling. The way I feel.’
‘Perhaps I can,’ she said.
‘You don’t mind?’
In the darkness he saw her shake her head.
‘What about Jakob?’ he whispered.
‘He can go to hell,’ said Matthildur.
23
A doctor entered Hrund’s room, examined the drip and enquired how she was feeling. After a curious glance at Erlendur, who did not say a word, he briskly took his leave. Hrund asked Erlendur to arrange her pillows more comfortably and refill her glass. He poured her some water from the jug and Hrund took a sip, then set the glass down again.
‘My mother got the story out of Ezra years later,’ she said. ‘After Jakob died. Ezra never meant to tell her and of course he never would have done if she hadn’t pestered him. But I can well believe she only learned a fraction of the truth. Ezra’s a very dark horse, though I’ve always had a soft spot for him.’
‘I’ve only met him the once,’ said Erlendur. ‘Naturally, he didn’t say a word about any of this.’
‘No, I don’t suppose he’d tell you,’ said Hrund.
Concerned that she might be tiring, Erlendur asked if he should come back later when she had had a rest.
‘A rest?’ exclaimed Hrund. ‘I don’t know how I’m supposed to rest any more than I’m doing right now, lying flat on my back in hospital.’
‘I don’t want to be a nuisance.’
‘You’re not. It isn’t often I get the chance to reminisce like this, and, anyway, there’s always the possibility you’ll turn up something new. You’ve certainly made the old pulse beat a bit faster.’
Erlendur couldn’t deny that Hrund was looking better and seemed livelier and more talkative than before. He wondered how much this was down to the antibiotics. Apart from an episode of arrhythmia a few years back, he had never been ill himself; never spent a day in bed in his life.
‘Well, I’m all ears,’ he said. ‘What happened next?’
‘Nothing for a few months, though Ezra and Matthildur grew closer all the time. He carried on fishing with Jakob, but increasingly took days off sick. It’s remarkable they managed to keep their affair secret in such a small community. They knew they’d have to tell Jakob at some point — better it came from them than from somebody else. But Matthildur was reluctant. She was worried he’d make life difficult for them.
‘Do you think Matthildur could have started an affair with Ezra to get even with Jakob?’
‘I’ve asked myself that. She gets the letter, reacts furiously and turns to another man for comfort.’
‘What did your mother think?’
‘She couldn’t really say,’ said Hrund. ‘But she knew Matthildur went into things wholeheartedly. However it may have started, she was genuinely in love with Ezra. He was in the best position to know, after all, and he told my mother.’
The hardest part was meeting in secret. There were limits to how many days Ezra could take off work. On the other hand, he didn’t want to put too much pressure on Matthildur to leave Jakob. She had already postponed the evil moment twice. Although she felt she had good grounds to divorce him, Jakob denied that her sister’s child was his, and she was frightened of how he would react to her leaving. Finally, finding it increasingly difficult to associate with Jakob and hating the furtiveness and deceit, Ezra invented an excuse to stop working on the boat with him. News of his meetings with Matthildur must not get out, but he knew it was inevitable sooner or later.
One night, as he lay awake thinking about their predicament, he heard a light tap on the door. When he opened it, Matthildur darted inside and he closed it hastily behind her.
‘I’ve missed you so much,’ she whispered, flinging her arms around him.
He crushed her to him, kissing her, then carried her into the kitchen where they kissed until she tore herself away.
‘Let’s leave,’ said Ezra. ‘Together. Tonight. Right now.’
‘We can’t just leave, Ezra,’ she protested. ‘I have to talk to him first. We have to talk to him. You’re his friend, after all. And I want him to admit he was a sod to my sister.’
Ezra stared at her as she stroked his forehead. Jakob had gone to Reydarfjördur and was planning to stay there overnight.
‘All right,’ he said. ‘We’ll talk to him, tell him the truth. If that’s the way you want it, I won’t object. It’d be for the best. But we’ll do it together. You mustn’t do anything on your own. We’ll face him together.’
‘You know how jealous he is.’
‘I can imagine — especially where you’re concerned.’
There was no sign of her the next day. He hadn’t stirred from the house since waking because of a howling gale that had blown up out of nowhere, but late that evening there was a rapping at his door. It was Jakob, in a frantic state. Ezra expected the worst, but not in the form it took.
‘Matthildur’s out in the storm,’ Jakob gasped. ‘I came to ask if you could help — help me find her.’
&nbs
p; Ezra could hardly believe his ears. He had just been thinking how dangerous it would be to go outside in weather like this. Not in all the time he had lived out east had he experienced such ferocity. In the worst gusts he had feared the roof would be torn off.
‘She was going to see her mother,’ Jakob explained. ‘She’s on foot. I’m gathering a search party. Can you come and help?’
‘Of course,’ Ezra replied. ‘Are you saying she’s out in this weather?’
‘You haven’t seen or spoken to her at all?’ Jakob asked.
‘No.’
‘She said she might look in on you.’
‘Really?’ said Ezra, and nearly blurted out that she hadn’t mentioned any Reydarfjördur trip to him. He caught himself in the nick of time.
‘She said she wanted a quick word with you,’ said Jakob.
‘I can’t imagine what about,’ Ezra replied. He gaped at Jakob in feigned surprise, trying to pretend it was out of the ordinary for Matthildur to want a word with him, as if she were not constantly in and out of his house. As if there were nothing between them; she had never talked of leaving Jakob; they were not planning to run away together. As if they had not made love here in the kitchen, right where Jakob was standing.
He forced his features into an expression of puzzlement to conceal all these lies.
‘No, well, perhaps we’ll find out,’ said Jakob.
In desperate haste, Ezra pulled on his waterproofs and left with Jakob. He could detect no sign that Jakob had learned of their relationship. If he knew or suspected, he hid the fact. As far as Ezra could tell, Jakob was genuinely anxious about Matthildur. They were going from door to door, recruiting searchers, when they discovered that a rescue party was already assembling to look for a group of British soldiers from Reydarfjördur who had failed to return from a hike. The farmer at Veturhús had raised the alarm and already rescued a number of the men.
Ezra and Jakob joined the search party, and news soon spread that Jakob believed his wife had been intending to cross the moors by the shortest route to visit her mother in Reydarfjördur. He believed she had been making for the Hraevarskörd Pass and might even have reached it before the storm peaked. The wind was still gusting with hurricane force, and conditions were hazardous for the rescue party, but neither Ezra nor Jakob were deterred.
‘Why didn’t you get in touch sooner?’ Ezra yelled to Jakob once they were staggering up the path to Hraevarskörd. They could hardly make any headway against the wind.
‘I fell asleep. I’ve been dead to the world all day and by the time I woke up this evening the storm was already raging. I’d never have let her go if I’d known the weather was going to turn like this.’
‘Are you sure she hasn’t made it over to the other side?’
‘Yes. I phoned. They’re getting another search party together in Reydarfjördur.’
‘Oh God, we have to find her,’ exclaimed Ezra.
‘I’m sure she’ll make it,’ Jakob shouted back.
They ploughed on through the downpour, their calls lost in the screaming gale. But before long they were driven back by the savagery of the weather, as were the searchers on the other side of the pass. They had managed to struggle only a few hundred metres before realising they would have to wait out the storm if they were not to put their own lives at risk.
The wind had lost much of its force by the time the search parties met on the pass the following day, having seen no sign of Matthildur. They continued combing the highlands for the next few days but to no avail.
Hrund asked Erlendur to help her sit up a little.
‘That’s the story, more or less, as Ezra told it to my mother and she passed it on to me. So it should be pretty accurate. She described how shattered Ezra was by Matthildur’s disappearance and how he suffered from not being able to confide in anyone about what they meant to each other.’
‘Ezra knew Matthildur was planning to leave Jakob at the time she vanished,’ said Erlendur thoughtfully, ‘but no one else was aware that she and Ezra were lovers?’
‘Not a soul. They kept it absolutely secret.’
‘And he never let on?’
‘No, never, according to my mother. He didn’t want to drag Matthildur’s name through the mud by admitting that she’d been having an affair with him before she went missing, and take the risk that people would speak ill of her. Given how things had turned out, he didn’t feel their relationship was anyone else’s business. But it’s possible someone had noticed their visits and heard gossip about the child Ingunn claimed was Jakob’s. Because as time went by Jakob’s reputation took a hammering — not that it had been all that good to start with.’
‘Hence the rumours that she haunted him and caused his shipwreck?’
‘Yes.’
‘What about Ezra? What did he think?’
‘He was convinced she’d died in the storm. In his opinion, there was no other explanation.’
‘And your mother believed him?’
‘Yes. She had no reason to doubt him.’
‘But Matthildur had told him Jakob was jealous. Ezra must have had his suspicions that she’d revealed all to Jakob and that trouble had come of it.’
‘It’s possible. But if so, he didn’t tell my mother,’ said Hrund. ‘For some reason he was positive that Jakob would never have done her any harm. He accepted what had happened and mourned Matthildur. Still mourns her to this day.’
‘How could he be so positive?’
‘I really don’t know. Jakob was the only living soul who could have shed light on Matthildur’s fate. Once he was gone, all hope of solving the mystery was almost certainly lost.’
‘But you’ve never been satisfied with Jakob’s explanation.’
‘Not for a minute.’
24
His mother returns from the moor in a state of utter exhaustion. The blizzard has intensified again, bringing a complete whiteout, and so much snow has fallen that it is impossible for the searchers to continue. They gather at Bakkasel to wait out the worst of the storm.
The sedative the doctor gave him has worn off but he is quieter now and stays in bed in the room he shares with Bergur. He is still assailed by fits of shivering, as if coming down with the flu. The doctor looks in on him, takes his hand, examines his frostbite and feels his forehead. Then nods, apparently satisfied, and says he will soon be himself again.
His mother enters and sits down on the edge of the bed, her waterproof trousers, thick jumper and lace-up boots still caked with snow and ice. Water drips from her clothes onto the floor. She is ready to head back into the mountains the instant the weather lets up and can’t relax. She has only come to pay him a brief visit before making a meal for the rescue party. She wants to share her knowledge of the land above Bakkasel with the leaders.
‘How are you, dear?’ she asks. She radiates energy, decisiveness and dogged determination, but tries to appear calm so as to avoid making him agitated again.
‘How’s it going?’ he asks in return.
‘Well so far, but we need a rest,’ she answers quickly. ‘Then we’ll be able to carry on with twice the strength. Have you spoken to your father?’
He nods. He spent some time in his father’s room but they barely exchanged a word. He has picked up on the fact that his parents are not speaking. His mother has made little effort to rouse his father from the crushing depression that has him in its grip.
‘You will find Beggi, won’t you?’
‘Yes, we’ll find him,’ his mother reassures him. ‘It’s only a matter of time. We’ll find him, you can rely on that.’
‘He must be cold.’
‘Now, we mustn’t think like that,’ says his mother. ‘I know we’ve asked you a hundred times already but can you remember anything that might help us? Could you see any landmarks? Do you have any idea what direction you were going in?’
He shakes his head. ‘I never saw a thing after we lost Dad. Just snow. I could hardly open my eyes. I don’t
know if I was walking uphill or down. Sometimes I had to crawl. I didn’t see any landmarks. I didn’t see anything at all.’
‘They say the position they found you in suggests you might have been heading away from home, driven by the wind. The storm seems to have blown you further than we would have dreamed possible. You were so high up it was sheer luck we found you. Since then we’ve been searching even higher. Do you think Beggi could have gone that way?’
‘He was supposed to stick with me. I was holding his hand all the time but suddenly he wasn’t there any more. I kept shouting and calling his name but I couldn’t even hear my own voice.’
He is struggling to suppress his tears.
‘I know that, dear,’ says his mother. ‘I know. Thank God we found you, my darling.’ She hugs him tight.
‘Beggi took his little car with him,’ he says.
‘What car?’
‘The one Dad gave him.’
‘The little red one?’
‘Yes.’
‘The one you wanted?’
‘I didn’t want it,’ he says quickly.
‘But you two quarrelled over it.’
‘I only asked him to swap it. For some soldiers.’
‘But he didn’t want to?’
‘No.’
‘And he had it with him when you left home?’
‘Yes.’
He is on the verge of telling her what he said to his father before they set out on the fateful journey. He only mentioned the car because he wants to unburden himself, but he can’t bring himself to. He doesn’t know why. Perhaps because there is still hope that all will turn out well. That Beggi will be found and then it won’t matter any more.
‘We’ll find him,’ repeats his mother. ‘Don’t worry. As soon as the storm dies down. They say it’s bound to blow itself out soon. When it does, we’ll be ready and we’ll find Beggi. There are more people coming to help and we’ll be able to organise ourselves better. We’ll find him, you can count on that.’
He nods.
‘Now, try to get some rest, dear. Try to sleep as much as you can. You need it.’
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