With each touch, each stroke, each movement of their intimate dance, her body heated. She found herself clinging to him, wanting him. She wanted more kisses, deeper, longer, and she pressed against him, hoping he would understand.
He cupped her face, then tilted her head slightly so he could kiss her more thoroughly. Then he retreated, and she followed, doing to him all he’d done to her. Exploring, teasing, tasting. Her legs were shaking so violently, she could barely stand. She wore only the nightgown, yet she suddenly wanted the garment removed. Every part of her was on fire, and only her husband’s touch would quench the flames.
“Touch me,” Jamal whispered against her mouth.
She realized that her arms had fallen to her sides. She brought them up to his shoulders, then ran her fingers through his dark hair. With her other hand, she explored his strong, broad back.
How different he was from her. So much bigger. Through the layers of his jacket and shirt, she felt his muscles rippling as she slowly moved up and down from shoulders to nearly his waist. She’d never touched a man like this. To think that in time she would grow to know his body as well as she knew her own. She would recognize him by sight and scent and touch. The thought of such intimacy was nearly overwhelming but in the most perfect and lovely way.
He kissed her again, deeply, slowly, passionately. She found herself moving closer, needing to be right up against him.
Something hard pressed into her belly. The hardness flexed, which startled her. She jumped. What on earth?
Then she knew. She didn’t know if the knowledge was instinctive or the result of reading those books Fatima had given her. Either way, she understood that ridge was the result of Jamal being aroused by what they were doing.
She was two parts embarrassed and one part curious. Actually the curious part of her was gaining ground. What would he look like naked? She’d never seen a man that way. There had been a few shadowy bits in movie scenes, but she had a feeling those half-lit vaguenesses had nothing to do with reality.
Would he let her see him? Would he let her touch him? Did she want to?
Jamal pulled back and stared at her. “What on earth are you thinking? You’ve completely drifted away. Obviously I’ve lost my technique in the bedroom, and I’m boring my virgin bride.”
Heidi ducked her head. “Sorry,” she murmured. “It’s not what you think. I mean, I’m not bored.”
She risked a glance and was pleased to see humor lurking in his eyes. For a moment she’d been afraid he was really angry.
“So what were you thinking, Princess Heidi?” he asked as he stroked his thumb across her mouth.
The contact was so light and delicate that she barely felt it, yet it made her want to thrust her hips against him, which made no sense at all.
“I, um, that is…” She looked at him. “You’re making it very hard to think.”
“I don’t want you to think. I want you to feel.”
“I did. I felt you, ah, sort of pressing against me, and it was distracting.”
His dark eyes brightened. She couldn’t tell if it was from passion or humor. Probably both, she thought glumly. No doubt she was doing everything wrong.
“This,” he said, leaning close until their bodies touched again.
The hardness returned. Tiny butterfly shivers rippled through her, starting in her belly and moving out.
“Yes,” she whispered, feeling more heat on her. “Exactly that. I’ve never been with a man so I’ve never had contact with his…you know.”
“Ah, the ‘you know.”’ He chuckled. “Heidi, you are the most charming woman I’ve ever met.”
“Really?” Charming? Her?
“Absolutely.” He studied her. “Are you frightened by the fact that I’m aroused?”
Was he going to talk? Couldn’t they just do it? Embarrassment flooded her, and she had to fight to keep from staring at the ground. Despite her best efforts, her gaze did lower some, and she found herself staring fixedly at the second button below his collar. Weren’t buttons a marvel? Who had invented them, and what had people done before they’d come into existence?
“Heidi?”
“I like that you want me,” she whispered, still unable to look at his face.
“I do want you. I want to make love with you. I want to touch and kiss you and teach you all the wonders that occur between husband and wife.”
At last she met his gaze. “Okay.”
“Thank you for agreeing.”
He was teasing her again. She was about to protest, but then they were kissing, and she found she didn’t mind the humor. He picked her up in his arms and set her onto the mattress, all the while still brushing against her mouth, plunging inside and generally leaving her breathless.
He straightened long enough to shrug out of his jacket and undo his cuffs. While he tugged on his tie, Heidi managed to undo a couple of buttons of his shirt.
She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Here she was, on Jamal’s bed, wearing nothing but a nightgown while her husband undressed. Her husband! And they were going to make love. She didn’t know whether to laugh in delight or to run screaming from the room. Except she didn’t want to leave. Not yet. Not before she experienced the magic that occurred between a man and a woman. She liked Jamal kissing her, and she was sure she would like everything else he did.
He finished with his tie, then undid the last of the buttons. As he removed his shirt, she found herself mesmerized by the sight of his bare chest. Light from the lamps by the bed illuminated his broad shoulders. She saw the definition of his muscles and the way his waist tapered. He was too appealing by far. And too experienced. He would know exactly what to do while she would be left unsure.
Jamal knelt next to her on the mattress and fingered the hem of her nightgown. “I’d like to take this off you.”
She swallowed, then licked her suddenly dry lips. “Yes, well, I suppose that would be fine, except I’m not wearing anything underneath.”
“Really?” He sounded intrigued. “So you’re practically naked.”
“Um, yes.”
“No clothes, just bare skin for me to look at and touch to my heart’s content.”
“You’re tormenting me on purpose.”
“What’s the fun in tormenting you if it’s not on purpose?” he asked.
Despite her nerves, she laughed. “I didn’t expect it to be like this,” she said. “I thought we’d both be serious.”
He leaned down and kissed her briefly. “It will get serious soon enough. Trust me.”
She did, she thought with some surprise. She trusted him to make her first time wonderful.
So when he tugged on her nightgown, she shifted so he could draw it up over her hips. Then she sat up and pulled it over her head. Her flash of bravery and trust faded the second she was naked, but before she could scream or run or even cover herself, Jamal was bending over her, kissing her, and she could think of nothing but the glory of being so close to him.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him down. She felt a burning hunger inside of her. It was a sensation she’d not experienced before, and it confused her. In some ways she felt as if she were starving—as if her life would never be complete if they didn’t do this.
Jamal shifted slightly and rested his hand on her stomach. She felt each fingertip where it lightly touched her sensitized skin. When his hand began to move in a slow circle on her belly, she jumped a little, then clutched at him. She was glad he was kissing her because otherwise she would probably be making shrieky noises and they would be serious mood-breakers.
“Touch me,” he murmured against her mouth. “I’ll die if you don’t.”
His words shocked her. Intellectually she knew that he was likely to enjoy their lovemaking, but she doubted she would be able to compare with the ever-perfect Yasmin. But to think that her touching Jamal actually mattered was more than she’d hoped.
She moved her hand from his shoulder, down his arm. S
he explored the inside of his elbow, then retraced her path to discover his neck and the curve of his ear. She’d been about to slip her fingers into his hair when his hand began to move. It had been circling and circling while his tongue teased her mouth, but now those very masculine fingers were reaching up…toward her breasts.
She longed for that. She remembered how wonderful it had been the last time he’d touched her there. She hadn’t known her body was capable of such pleasure. Just the thought of it made her nipples tighten in anticipation.
“How lovely you are,” he breathed against her lips. “I want to touch you all over. I want to hold you and kiss you and taste every part of you.”
Taste? Her? The thought boggled her mind. Then his hand closed over her breast, and she couldn’t think. It was too lovely. The melting, the heating, the way her belly flared with liquid desire and her thighs trembled. All of her trembled. She had the strangest urge to let her legs fall open so he could touch her there even though she suspected her thoughts were wildly inappropriate.
Still that hand on her breast was five kinds of magic. He explored her slowly, as if learning her curves. She no longer thought of being naked before him. Actually, she couldn’t think of anything at all. There were only the feelings he created in her and the wonder of their being together.
He slipped a finger back and forth against the underside of her breasts, then moved up a little until he could caress her nipple. The exquisite sensation literally dragged her up from the bed. She found herself clinging to him, uttering sounds that weren’t even words but were meant to insist that he must never stop.
Jamal moved his head slightly, breaking their kiss. He left a damp trail down her jaw and neck. Before she knew what was happening, he’d drawn her nipple between his lips and was licking the tight point. Licking it!
Fire shot through her. She dug her heels into the bed as she arched up again. She found herself cupping his head, holding on to him, writhing, needing. It was terrifying. It was wonderful.
He continued to pleasure her breasts, moving from one to the other. At the same time, his free hand slipped down her belly. Without her being aware of giving a command, her legs parted. Shivers rippled through her. She was afraid and yet oddly ready for whatever he was going to do. Then he moved into the waiting dampness.
No one had ever touched her there. No man had explored her most secret places. She’d rarely thought about that part of intimacy, but when she had, she’d assumed it would be horrible. After all, she’d been the one wishing for a mental and spiritual marriage, rather than one with physical intimacy. Now she found she might have misjudged the situation.
She loved the feel of him against her. She loved the way he moved slowly, yet with a sureness that eased her fears. He teased, circling around, then found the deep passage that would take him later.
When a single finger entered her, she felt a slight jolt deep inside. He withdrew, then went in again. The jolt was stronger, the promise of something she needed. He cupped her with his whole hand, then pressed down slightly. Something inside quivered and made her jump.
“What is this?” Jamal asked, his voice muffled against her breasts. “What have I found?”
“I—I don’t know.”
Heidi didn’t know. She had a clue about a small place that was supposed to be very nice when touched but it was, like the rest of her, virgin territory.
He drew his hand up until his fingertips rested against the protective folds of her damp flesh. Then he went exploring. He slipped back and forth, discovering the places that made her sigh and hold on tighter. Then he touched one very special spot. Without wanting to, Heidi dug her heels into the mattress and thrust her hips upward.
“Yes,” she moaned as he returned his mouth to hers.
He continued to touch her most private place. He pressed lightly, moving quickly in a rhythm designed to make her die from the glory of it all. His deep kisses drank in her moans. She clutched at him, needing to feel all of him close to her. She rubbed her hands up and down his back then pressed her palm flat against him, then found a tiny tight nipple so similar to her own that she couldn’t help touching him the way he’d touched her. She brushed her fingers against the spot.
Against her thigh, something hard jumped. She felt it again and was pleased that he wanted her so much. Then she couldn’t think at all because the fingers between her thighs continued to move. Air disappeared from her lungs, but it didn’t matter because she was dying anyway. She had to be dying. It was impossible to feel this much and still live.
Her knees drew back of their own accord. Her hips moved. He touched her again and again, then stopped to dip inside her. Pressure built. She wanted…no, needed so much more. Nothing about the moment made sense.
And still he touched her and kissed her and held her close. Her hands fell away from him. She could only grasp uselessly at the bedspread and wait for the great something that approached.
Her body tensed. He rubbed against her, taking her higher, tighter until she was going to break or snap or maybe just blow away.
And then it happened. A kind of explosion, but from the inside. A twisting and turning of all of her body in a way that made her float and gasp and surrender herself to the glory of light and feeling. Thousands of shudders rippled through her, first strong, then fading until she trembled only slightly.
Jamal held her in his arms. “Thank you,” he breathed against her hair. “Thank you for doing that. Thank you for responding.”
She tried to smile but all her muscles were still quivering. “I think I’m the one who’s supposed to be saying thank you.”
“Then, you’re welcome.”
She stared at him. “Was it supposed to be like that? I mean, that wonderful?”
He met her gaze. There was something intense about his expression, and she didn’t understand anything he might be thinking. Jamal looked at her as if he’d never seen her before.
She bit her lip. “Did I do something wrong? Wasn’t I supposed to—”
“Don’t,” he said quickly, interrupting her. “You were perfect. Everything I could have wanted. It’s supposed to be exactly like that. You’re supposed to feel those things. In fact I can make it better.”
She smiled. “You’re lying.”
“No. With practice we’ll learn each other’s likes and dislikes and develop a rhythm that works for us.”
“I can’t imagine you doing anything I wouldn’t like.”
“Good.” He paused. “I want to be inside of you, Heidi. I want to finish making love with you.”
Her shyness returned, but she forced herself to nod. “I want that too.” Because she did. She was suddenly very interested in learning more about this mysterious process.
Jamal rose to his feet and kicked off his shoes, then pulled off his socks and reached for the belt of his slacks. He paused.
“Have you seen a man before?” he asked.
She shook her head. He pulled down his slacks and briefs in one quick movement, then slid onto the bed. He stretched out on his back.
“Go ahead and look,” he offered. “Get comfortable with me. You can touch me if you’d like.”
“Oh.” Touching? Her?
She raised herself up on her elbow and gazed at his body. He was fit and tanned with long, lean muscles. His shoulders were powerful. His chest tapered into a narrow waist and hips. Her gaze followed the dark line of hair that bisected his belly and led directly to his arousal.
Heidi stared. It was bigger than she’d imagined, and thrusting up toward the ceiling. The shape was not unappealing. It was darker than the rest of him.
Slowly, carefully, prepared to pull back at any minute, she stretched out her fingers and tentatively touched him. He was soft and hot, yet underneath was pulsing steel. She’d thought he might be damp or feel weird, but the skin was dry, and she liked the way her fingers around him made him tense and groan low in his throat. She experimented with moving slowly, then speeding up. He seem
ed to really like the—
“Enough,” he said, grabbing her wrist and holding her still. “That lesson is for another time.”
What lesson? she wanted to ask. Instead, she found herself on her back in the center of the mattress. Jamal knelt between her thighs. He was touching her again, the way he had before. The steady caressing left her breathless and damp. Her hips pulsed in time with the movement of his fingers, and she felt herself beginning the journey again.
But before she could reach her completion, he stopped what he was doing and started kissing her. She liked the kissing as well, so she didn’t complain. His tongue was in her mouth, teasing her and—
She felt a probing against her woman’s place. The blunt pressure wasn’t from his fingers. No, something larger sought entrance. He reached down and guided himself into her. She could feel herself stretching. It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t pleasant either.
“Don’t tense,” he told her, his voice hoarse. “I know it’s uncomfortable, but it will get better, I promise. Just relax. Once I’m inside, I’ll stop until you get used to me.”
She wanted to push him away, but instead she did as he’d requested. She breathed in and out, focusing only on his kiss, while between her legs he slowly filled her body.
He stopped sooner than she thought he would. She was about to say it wasn’t so bad when there was a sharp pain. Heidi cried out. Jamal gave one more thrust and was still.
“That’s all,” he said, raining kisses on her face. “That’s the worst of it.”
Tears stung in her eyes, but she blinked them away. “It’s not so bad,” she murmured.
He smiled ruefully. “As I mentioned before, you’re a lousy liar. But that’s a good thing in a wife.” He braced his weight on his knees and forearms and stared into her eyes. “Remember what it was like before? When I was touching you there?”
She nodded slowly, not willing to give anything away if it meant he was going to hurt her again.
The Desert Rogues Part 1 Page 37
