My Nerdy Valentine

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My Nerdy Valentine Page 2

by Vicki Lewis Thompson


  He answered the commodities question, and then it was time for the class to leave. Good thing. He wasn't giving a very good impression of a man focused on economics.

  As the class filed out, Elijah inched over toward William. "Are you sure you don't have a girlfriend?" His grin widened. "Because you look exactly like my brother does when he's thinking about Angle."

  "Elijah," the teacher said. "Tell Mr. Sloan goodbye and thank you."

  Elijah held out his hand. "Goodbye and thank you."

  "You're welcome." William shook his small, sticky hand. The kid probably had a pocket full of jelly beans.

  "And good luck with your girlfriend."

  "Mm." William didn't bother contradicting the girlfriend reference again.

  In fact, he'd been thinking of the girlfriend issue recently. If he didn't watch out, Helen's accusation might come true. When he'd caught her in bed with someone else, she'd blamed her behavior on his neglect. She'd predicted he'd never be willing to invest time in a relationship because he was obsessed with his career.

  But that wasn't true, was it? Asking Amanda to lunch had been more than an idle invitation. He wanted to get back in the game and prove Helen wrong, and he wished Amanda hadn't turned him down. How ironic that she'd said no because she was overcommitted.

  Or maybe she'd been turned off by the stupid hat. He usually took it off once he was inside, but today, of all days, he'd forgotten about it, probably because he'd been so intent on Amanda struggling with her bag. His ears were supersensitive to the cold, and the earflaps were the alternative to intense pain.

  "William, there you are!" Gloria Tredway appeared in the open door of the office and maneuvered around several nine-year-olds. Her black-and-white checked jacket was unbuttoned to show off a black lace chemise and a generous amount of cleavage. "I see the tour is ending. Do you have some time for little old me now?"

  "Umm, sure. See you later, kids. Thanks for corning."

  Elijah gazed at Gloria. Then he looked over his shoulder at William. "Uh-huh." Then Mrs. Jones hustled him and the rest of the class out the door.

  Gloria approached, a predatory gleam in her eyes. "I'll bet you give great tours."

  William swallowed. "The kids seemed to enjoy it."

  "Can I have a tour?"

  "Sure."

  She made a low purring sound deep in her throat. "Excellent. Show me all you've got."

  TWO

  Amanda tried not to think about Gloria sitting in William's office. Without Gloria there, she had a chance to go over her notes for a test she had coming up tomorrow morning in abnormal psych. Hauling her notebook out of the backpack she kept tucked in the knee-hole of her desk, she flipped to her most recent notes.

  As she reviewed the clinical definition of schizophrenia, she picked up the glass hummingbird she kept on her desk. Usually the smoothness of the glass helped her concentrate, but not today. Instead she pictured Gloria crossing her legs so her skirt inched up. She was extremely proud of her legs.

  Come to think of it, she was extremely proud of all her body parts. She bragged about having the tits of a twenty-year-old, and right this minute she was probably leaning forward and allowing her chemise to gape open. William, being a nerd, might not be used to that. He might not have the foggiest idea how to handle a woman like Gloria.

  And why should Amanda care? She didn't, really, except that Gloria saw men only as a source of temporary pleasure, a conquest, a way of keeping score. She'd use William for what she wanted and discard him when she got bored. In William's case, that just didn't seem right.

  Then again, Amanda didn't really know him. Most red-blooded guys would be happy to jump into bed with a woman as experienced as Gloria. Amanda had no doubt Gloria was great in the sack. She constantly boasted about the number of men who'd told her they'd never had it so good.

  But when Gloria walked back into the office, she wasn't smiling. Amanda took an unholy amount of satisfaction in that. Maybe William hadn't been so easy to seduce, after all.

  "Come into my office." Gloria sailed past her without waiting for a reply. "I need to discuss something with you."

  Amanda put down the hummingbird, got out of her chair, and walked into Gloria's office.

  "Close the door. I wouldn't want a client to hear this."

  Amanda turned around and closed the door with a soft click.

  "Sit down." Gloria waved Amanda to the red leather love seat that rested against one wall.

  Amanda moved aside a stack of videos and various tubes of personal lubricant. Every time she sat on this love seat she had to block out visions of what had probably taken place there. Gloria was both an exhibitionist and a voyeur, so anything was possible.

  Gloria began to pace. "This is rather embarrassing, but I need some advice."

  "From me?" Amanda wondered what on earth she knew that Gloria didn't. "About what?"

  "I'm extremely intrigued with that broker." Gloria paused at her desk, picked up the silver vibrator Amanda had recently bought, and tapped it against her palm.

  "Mm."

  "I think it's because he's so different from the men I usually meet." Gloria caressed the vibrator. "Because he's a nerd?"

  Gloria pointed the vibrator at her. "That's exactly the problem. He's a nerd, and nerds react logically, not emotionally. I find that challenging."

  Amanda fought to keep the smile off her face. It wouldn't do to smile in a situation like this. William hadn't taken Gloria's obvious bait. Good for him.

  "He's probably not used to having a voluptuous woman like me go after him. He could be telling himself I'm too hot to handle."

  "He might, at that."

  Gloria began to pace, her five-inch heels sinking into the deep pile of her carpet. "I need to get around that perception and make him realize that he deserves the sexual attention of someone like me. I'd be doing him a favor by convincing him to aim higher. So I have to ask myself, what mind games would work on a nerd?"

  "Why even bother with him?" Amanda wondered if she could possibly derail this effort. "I mean, why work so hard, when there are a dozen other guys who would be happy to—"

  "See, I knew it! You think like a nerd. That's logic talking, but the reaction I have to William Sloan is at a gut level." Gloria smiled. "Or, more precisely, a bit lower."

  No surprise there. Gloria reacted that way to everyone with a Y chromosome in the mix.

  Gloria continued to pace. "It takes a certain disdain for convention to walk down Michigan Avenue wearing a hat with earflaps." She gestured with the vibrator. "A disdain for convention can translate into an appetite for the unusual, and in sexual terms, that's very exciting to me."

  "You could be reading too much into the earflaps. He could be simply fashion impaired."

  Gloria whirled and pointed the vibrator at her again. "There you go, being logical again. That's why I called you in here. You're a bit of a nerd yourself, Amanda."

  "Me? I'm not a nerd."

  "Of course you are! Always studying, never dating, a regular loner."

  Amanda rushed to defend herself. "Okay, I can see how I might appear that way to you, because you haven't known me that long. But this is my last semester, and I can't take a chance on messing it up and not getting into graduate school."

  "Precisely!" Gloria waved the vibrator at her. "You don't want to take chances. You've been here nearly six weeks and you've never once asked to borrow a video or a jar of body paint. I've had interns who went through that stuff like locusts through a wheat field. You'd think I'd handed them the keys to a treasure chest."

  "Dr. Tredway, I can't speak for them, but—"

  "For the hundredth time, call me Gloria. We're colleagues."

  Amanda sighed. "All right. Gloria, I can assure you that I am not always like this. It's just that right now, I have to focus."

  "Fine, fine. We won't debate the matter anymore. But I'm positive you will have some ideas about how I can attract William's attention. Let's say you were in my
place."

  That would be quite the stretch. "Uh-huh."

  "Just tell me honestly, Amanda, how would you go about getting into William's pants?"

  "I haven't the faintest idea." And even if she did, she wouldn't tell. Now might not be the time to mention that William had asked her to lunch.

  "You're sure you don't have any thoughts?" Gloria peered at her. "How long has it been since you've had a date, anyway?"

  "I don't know, exactly. A while." Amanda wasn't about to get any more specific than that.

  "If you don't even remember, then you're obviously out of practice with these things. But I want you to think about the subject of William and get back to me. I feel certain you could help me with my campaign. I'm switching my brokerage accounts over to Cooper and Scott, so that will give me an excuse to see him."

  "Wouldn't it be unethical for him to get involved with a client?"

  Gloria propped her hips against the desk. "If that issue comes up, so to speak, I'll simply switch back to the senile old goat I had before. First I have to get William to the point where he has that moral dilemma. I hate to admit it, but he's not even close yet."

  "I just don't understand why you would go to all that trouble. What's so special about William?"

  Gloria tapped the vibrator softly against her mouth. "I guess you didn't pay attention to his thumbs."

  "His thumbs?'

  "Oh, yes. Gorgeous thumbs. Nice large ones."

  "I don't get it."

  "My dear Amanda, take it from a woman who's indulged in sexual adventures with men of all sizes—a man with thumbs like that is quite likely to be magnificently, gloriously hung."

  Later that afternoon, while Amanda was typing up client evaluations and Gloria was in her office previewing videos, William walked in, a manila envelope in his hand. Naturally she looked at his thumbs, and sure enough, he had big ones.

  She refused to think about the implications of that. Gloria could be blowing smoke, and besides, Amanda had always been of the opinion that imagination trumped size any old day. How much imagination could a girl expect from a man who constantly dealt with numbers?

  "I have some papers for Dr. Tredway to sign," William said. "Our computer was down when she was in the office earlier, but it's back online, so I was able to print out the forms. I decided to bring them over."

  "Thanks. I'll see that she gets them." Amanda had to admit that the lack of a hat improved William considerably. He had a thick head of dark brown hair. He wore it short, but not so short that a woman couldn't run her fingers through it. William wasn't a total loss—just not Amanda's cup of tea.

  For one thing, his tie was a boring gray and blue stripe. Amanda admired men who took a chance in that department, daring to wear a Jerry Garcia number, for example, or one decorated with a Warner Bros, cartoon character. She was partial to the Road Runner. Her last boyfriend had worn outrageous ties. He'd also broken her heart, but that was beside the point.

  When William hesitated to put the envelope on her desk, she wondered if he might actually want to see Gloria again. "Or would you like me to find out if Dr. Tredway's available?"

  "No, that's okay." He handed her the envelope. "She can sign them anytime. No rush."

  "All right, then."

  He glanced at the little hummingbird on her desk. "That's cute."

  "I like hummingbirds." She picked it up out of habit. "Scientifically they shouldn't be able to fly, but they do. They beat the odds."

  "And they work damn hard to stay airborne."

  "I know. They're so determined. I admire that." He really was a nice guy, and because she still felt guilty about turning down his lunch date, she asked about the fourth-graders. "How did the tour go?"

  He brightened. "Smart kids. They knew more about the stock market than most adults. Their teacher deserves some credit, but they were sharp. One of them asked me about—"

  "William!" Gloria burst from her office as if shot from a cannon. She held a video in her hand. A rhythmic beat and muted cries indicated that she'd already popped another one in the player. "I thought I heard your voice, but between the exaggerated grunting and moaning on this lame DVD, I wasn't sure."

  He backed up a step. "I was just bringing the papers for you to sign. No hurry, really. I should be going."

  "Nonsense. Come on in the office while I sign the papers. That will be more efficient." She handed the video to Amanda. "I'd like you to return that one and get a refund."

  "Now?" Amanda tried to tune out the orgasmic sounds coming from Gloria's office.

  "Yes, while the transaction is still fresh in the clerk's mind."

  "I thought you wanted the client evaluations finished by tomorrow."

  "I do. Take a few home if you need to. But I need this video returned."

  "All right." There went any hope of extra sleep tonight.

  Gloria was picky about her porn, but as one of the G-Spot's best customers, she was allowed to return almost anything. Holding the video, Amanda stood, walked around her desk and headed toward the coat rack next to the door.

  From inside Gloria's office came a woman's voice on the DVD begging, "Give it to me! Give it to me now!"

  "Bring me a mocha cappuccino on the way back," Gloria said. "The video I'm watching now is more promising than that one, but if it doesn't stimulate me, either, I can always resort to caffeine."

  "Whipped cream?"

  "Of course. Whipped cream gives me such a sensual buzz. William, can I interest you in a cappuccino?"

  "No, no, thanks."

  "Deeper, deeper!" cried the woman on the video. The drumbeats grew faster.

  William shifted his weight uneasily. "I really need to get back to the office. The papers can be signed anytime in the next couple of days."

  Gloria waved a hand in the air. "Don't look so worried. I have clients coming in ten minutes. It's not like I'll throw you on the floor and have my way with you. Amanda, don't let them give you any guff because that DVD's been opened."

  "I won't." She'd become a pro at X-rated movie returns.

  A man's voice replaced the woman's on the video, and now a saxophone wailed. "Take it, baby," said the man. "Take it all. Oh, yeah!"

  "They should cheerfully give you a refund," Gloria said. "That video is a waste. I don't know how they expect to arouse a viewer if they won't show full frontal nudity or zoom in on the genitals. The pumping action was a complete fake, if you ask me. I'll bet Tab A was never inserted in Slot B. What a rip-off."

  Amanda resisted the urge to glance at William as she took her coat off the hook. She was used to this kind of behavior in Gloria's office, but he wasn't. She had one arm in her coat sleeve before she felt the weight of the coat lighten and realized that William was holding it for her.

  Drums and saxophones combined for what was surely the climactic moment for the couple on the screen in Gloria's office. "I'm coming!" groaned the man.

  "Thanks, William." Amanda transferred the rejected video to her other hand and slipped her arm into the sleeve. In the process she got another whiff of Old Spice.

  'That is so precious," Gloria said. "How many men hold a woman's coat these days?"

  "Blame it on my upbringing," William said.

  "Did you also learn how to help a woman out of her coat? That could be even more valuable."

  "I'm coming, too!" screeched the woman in the video.

  Amanda turned in time to catch a plea for help in William's green eyes. Well, he'd have to find aid somewhere else or learn to fend for himself. He was the one who'd chosen to make a personal delivery of the papers.

  "See you later," she said, and escaped into the hall.

  It was true that clients were due in ten minutes, but that gave Gloria a window of opportunity that was more than ample for a quickie. She seemed determined to make a conquest with or without Amanda's advice. And maybe she would succeed, but Amanda figured it wasn't in her job description to hang around and watch.

  When the door closed behin
d Amanda, William wished he'd decided against bringing the papers down. He could have sent Bonnie, the receptionist. But then he would have missed the chance to see Amanda again.

  He should abandon the cause, but the more he found out about her, the more intrigued he was. She was as determined to fly as that little hummingbird on her desk. He had no idea why, but maybe she'd had a screwup older brother like he did. Maybe she was carrying the banner for the whole family, the same as he was.

  William admired that kind of determination, but, because he was a normal guy, he admired other stuff, too. Her soft blue sweater gave him X-rated ideas of his own, for all the good it did him. Arriving without his hat had seemed to make no difference in her reaction. She didn't even want to be friends.

  A potential friend wouldn't have left him to deal with Gloria and her raging hormones. William had never met anyone like Gloria before, and he hoped never to meet anyone like her again. But he needed to build up a client list, which meant he couldn't afford to turn down business, especially from a woman with a portfolio like Gloria's. She might be a sex maniac, but she also had a ton of investments.

  "Come on into my office, William." Picking up the envelope from Amanda's desk, Gloria turned and sashayed through the door.

  William didn't want to go in there. The video playing on her TV was bad enough, but he was worried that she might start peeling off clothes, and he wanted to avoid that at all costs. They hadn't covered this situation in his orientation with Cooper and Scott. Vowing not to look at the television screen, he squared his shoulders and walked into Gloria's office.

  Holy den of iniquity! The X-rated video playing on the screen was the least of his problems. He'd never been in any therapist's office, let alone one who dealt with sex, but he would have expected framed diplomas and professional citations on the wall. Instead Gloria's walls were decorated with enlarged, framed illustrations of couples in various sexual positions.

  William had some knowledge of those positions. He believed in studying any subject in which he had an interest, and he definitely had an interest in sex. Obviously Gloria had more than an interest. He was no psychologist, but he thought it would classify as a fixation.

 

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