“We almost lost him, Vi. What would we do?”
“I know, honey.” Violet came around the bed to stand next to Jackson’s chair. “I know. Ajax?”
“See. The thing is….” Ajax hesitated. “I think I found where I want to buy my own house.”
“You what?” His father’s jaw dropped. “A house?”
“What about the condo?” Violet asked. “Does this have something to do with Dmytro? Because—”
“It’s got nothing to do with him.” Well. Maybe Dmytro could be part of his plan. He didn’t know how yet. “I want to look at places along the coast. See if I can find a cottage where I can put down roots.”
“A cottage.” Visibly surprised, Violet let Jackson draw her onto his lap. “A place on the beach would cost a bundle, honey. You want to live close to LA? Or up north?”
“Or a bungalow. I was thinking of looking for an older place in a small town in the middle of the state? Something I can fix up. There’s a place—St. Nacho’s. Have you ever heard of it? It’s north of Santa Barbara.”
“Why buy a place so far away from all your friends?”
“I don’t want to burst your bubble, Mom, but I don’t have a lot of friends.”
“But why buy so far away from LA? We thought you liked living there.”
“Why buy a farm you only get to visit a few times a year?” he asked. “Because I want to. Because I can.”
Jackson considered this. “Fair enough. You’ll continue to… er… work remotely, then?”
“I’ll podcast remotely and continue making videos. But not as Ajax Freedom. I killed him on that boat, and I wouldn’t bring him back for anything.”
“He won’t be missed.” Violet shuddered. “My God. People thought I raised such a little pisher. I wanted to come out to your place and wring your neck.”
“You should have.”
“And give you the satisfaction?”
“You’re right. As bids for attention go, that one sucked.” He thought of something else he wanted. “You think Grandpa would want to live with me for a while?”
“I’ll bet he’d love that.” Violet slid a glance Jackson’s way. “But honey, he doesn’t get around well anymore.”
“And he needs a lot of care,” Jackson added. “A local doctor he trusts and some active nutritional intervention. You’d have to have an accessible house, plus, he’s pretty sour about healthy eating. It’s one of the reasons Serena lives in. Are you sure you’d want to take on the responsibility?”
“I can help, you know. I’m not a totally worthless—”
“Ajax,” his father said sternly.
“I want this.” Ajax had never wanted anything more. “I thought about Grandpa all the time we were on the run.” He couldn’t look at them. “I miss him so much. If he wants to come, I want him with me. Not just to help out, but because we’re family.”
“Of course, son. Just ask him,” said Jackson. “I’ll bet he’d be thrilled to get away from snow this winter.”
Ajax nodded. “And as soon as you get that vacation time blocked off, I’ll have room for you too.”
“Oh.” Violet’s awkward response was predictable. “That’s not exactly—”
“That is a terrific idea, isn’t it, Violet? Let’s visit Ajax for a change. He can keep the phones from ringing.” Jackson glanced at him meaningfully. “Can’t you, son?”
“I can make certain you have no connectivity whatsoever.” Ajax’s heart burst with happiness.
“All right, then. That’s settled. I’ll let you know when.” As usual, his mom warmed to an idea once she made it her own. “If you find a place, we’ll help you paint and fix it up.”
Ajax didn’t hide surprise. “You can do that stuff?”
“You know I wasn’t born a doctor, right?” Jackson patted him. “I’ve patched a few walls in my day.”
“We could go shopping for furniture while I’m there. There are antique places all up and down the coast.”
“I would love that.” Ajax’s wrecked body throbbed, but he had a plan. His parents might have forgotten how to be a family because of work—because of the many people who depended on them—but he could remind them.
They all loved one another. They could be the close-knit family he wanted with all his heart, because he could teach them how.
He could show them how to enjoy family time, every minute they spent in his home.
All it would take was little patience, some forgiveness, and most of all, gratitude.
And hopefully, Dmytro would choose to stand by his side.
HOURS LATER, Ajax dreamed he stood in a field. In one direction, sunflowers bloomed all the way to the horizon. The brilliant yellow and green, vibrant as a Van Gogh, cheered him. Warmed him. The desire to gather them in armfuls bubbled up inside him like happy laughter.
In the other direction, lavender blanketed the fields, tall and straight. Its pungent soapy scent rose in the air to mingle with all the sweetest aromas of summer.
He stood at a crossroads.
Why was he here? And which way should he go?
Which was better? Sunflowers or lavender?
He woke up unsure of himself for the first time in days.
He doubted his senses. Didn’t know his own heart.
What if he was wrong about Dmytro?
What if now that their adventure was over and Dmytro came back to reality, he realized he wanted sunflowers and not… lavender. Or whatever Ajax was.
Did Dmytro simply enjoy both men and women? Did he prefer one over the other?
What mattered most to him?
After coming home safely, would Dmytro turn his back on what they had because it would be easier for him, more conventional, safer for his girls, less troublesome at work?
Ajax had asked the nurse a hundred times how Dmytro was doing, and she finally relented and shared that he was resting comfortably.
Good, Ajax thought. Good. The girls could visit him and everything would be all right now.
He had bargained so hard with God.
He’d promised so much.
Ajax would live a good life and be kind to his parents. He’d be an advocate for children, like his dad. He’d find a way to use every gift he had, mental and physical—his time, his effort, his money—to do useful things for others.
It seemed churlish to beg God for mercy when you were about to drown and not check in when you were safe.
So he prayed—stiffly—until his thoughts clarified and he warmed up.
Dear God, thank you for my many blessings. Thank you for saving me and Dmytro from… everything. Thank you for giving him a second chance with his girls. Hold him in the palm of your hand. See what a good man he is. Look into his heart. He can’t hide how decent he is.
I’ll find a new path, and this time it will be an awesome one. And I’ll gut-check all my plans and enterprises from now on, I promise. Just help me show my family how much I love them. Um…. Amen.
Resolutely, he didn’t ask for more.
He couldn’t. Not when it was obvious he had everything he’d ever needed, and more, already.
Chapter 28
DMYTRO HELD one girl in each arm and breathed in the sweet fruity scent of their hair. Liv looked on from a seat by the bed, smiling softly.
Liv looked enough like Yulia to be her twin, but while Yulia’s nature was sunny and calm, Liv was a bit austere. Zhenya sat by her side, casting glances her way every so often. Since he had flown them in and put them up in a nice room at a nearby hotel, they’d visited Dmytro every day.
Now his table was cluttered with drawings and flowers and carefully lettered get-well cards from Sasha. Glitter covered his sheets. He knew how lucky he was, and he should be grateful, but he had begun to worry about the one person who should be there and wasn’t.
Why hadn’t he heard from Ajax? Certainly introductions might be awkward at first. Hello, meet Ajax, the very young man I love. Liv might be shocked and even stubborn at first, but
not because she didn’t want him to be happy. She told him to find someone new all the time.
Yet she could be a little controlling. He’d done himself a favor by keeping any suggestion that the two of them meet to himself while he was still healing, but now, perversely, he wondered why Ajax hadn’t insisted.
Ajax was normally an insistent man.
Perhaps Ajax wanted to know why he hadn’t gotten in touch either. He’d still been recovering while Ajax was in the hospital, but after they let him out of ICU, why hadn’t he contacted Ajax?
And why was it so much harder to pick up the phone with every hour that passed?
“We’d better go.” Liv picked up her handbag. “If they fall asleep here, I’ll never get them down when we get back to the hotel.”
“Thank you for coming.” He held the half-asleep Penelope out to Zhenya, who stood ready to walk Liv to her car.
“Night, Daddy.” Sasha grabbed his face and gave him a smack on the cheek before holding hers out for his kiss. “I’ll come see you tomorrow.”
“Be a good girl.”
“I will, Daddy.”
He kissed them both one last time while Zhenya made silly faces.
He said, “Liv, they weigh a ton. What do you feed them?”
Though he joked, “Uncle Zhenya” looked as tired as Dmytro felt. He barely took his eyes off Liv, but she was oblivious to his crush on her. Dmytro wanted to put him out of his misery.
“Liv’s cooking is so delicious it’s addictive. I’m surprised we don’t all weigh a ton.” Dmytro gave matchmaking a shot via an order he knew his sister-in-law could not refuse. “Liv, for God’s sake, invite Zhenya over to dinner sometime. I don’t think he eats anything but takeout.”
“Mitya.” She flushed.
“That’s all right.” Zhenya tried to look anywhere but at Liv.
“No.” Liv straightened her shoulders. “Mitya is right. As soon as we get home, you should come for supper. Please allow me to thank you for all you do for our family.”
Zhenya’s smile bloomed on his weathered face. “I would be delighted to accept, but you owe me nothing.”
Charming pink spots dotted Liv’s cheeks.
“Come, girls.” Zhenya put them down and offered his hands to hold. The three of them walked to the door together. “Let’s go.”
Dmytro watched his boss and daughters leave. It might be nice for Liv to have a boyfriend. No one could be better. He trusted Zhenya with his life every day.
“I should be released tomorrow.” He returned his gaze to Liv’s flushed face. “I’ll call you when I need a ride, shall I?”
“Where do you plan to go? After, I mean.”
What did she know? “Zhenya has given me ample time off to recover.”
“He should,” she muttered. “Fine for him to send men out to risk their lives. But when they have babies at home—”
“I know you don’t like my job, but it pays the bills.”
“Oh, I like your job. But I love your children. I could spend the rest of my life caring for them, but I don’t want to do it because you’re dead.”
“You won’t have to do that.” She’d never been quite so adamant. “I’m fine.”
An explosive sound escaped her. “You can’t guarantee that so long as you work in the field.”
“I don’t want to argue about it now, all right?”
She nodded grimly. “Call when you’re signed out, and we’ll come. Zhenya has arranged for the private jet to take us home. The girls are over the moon.”
He could imagine. “That’s awesome.”
She paused. “You talk like your young friend now.”
“You’ve seen him?” He held his breath.
“I see him every day. He asks how you are and we talk.”
“Why didn’t you let him come in?” Dmytro’s heart hammered so hard, his pulsebeat deadened all the noises of a busy hospital. “Are you purposely keeping him away?”
She shot him a murderous glare. “My God. What do you think? I’m a dog who chases people away from you? He told me he isn’t ready to see you. He wants to wait until you’re ready to leave and say goodbye then.”
Ajax wanted to say goodbye? Dmytro’s heart sank. “Did he meet the girls?”
“Yes.” Her face softened visibly. “He’s good with them. Seems very nice. A little scatterbrained.”
“That’s camouflage. He’s nothing of the kind.”
“If you say so.” She picked up her purse and sweater. “I thanked him for saving your life. The girls took him flowers.”
“And you never said?”
“He asked me not to say.” She came to the railing of his bed. “Mitya. Have you— Did you fall for this boy?”
He glanced away.
“I’m so sorry.” That was all. Her gaze held no judgment. No recrimination. Tremendously practical Liv didn’t waste her time with emotion when she had better things to do. “Falling for a client is foolish.”
“So you told Yulia,” he reminded her.
“Indeed I did.” Her smile was never as warm as Yulia’s, but it could take the chill off a cold, hard fact. “I suppose it could happen once in a lifetime. I can’t imagine a miracle like that a second time in mine.”
“I love him,” he whispered.
“He was your job.”
“I know.” He put his petulance down to drugs. “I know he was my job. And I know all the reasons it can’t work between us—he’s young. He’s wealthy beyond imagining. He could have anyone, anything he wants. And I’m a thug, a widower with children looking for redemption I will never find in the next protection detail, or the next.”
“He would be very, very lucky to have you.”
The way she said it, it sounded like she actually meant it. It sounded like she might have even forgiven him for taking Yulia away from her and promising to protect her, and then failing so very spectacularly.
“There is so much to be sorry for,” he admitted. “So many things I’ve done, people I’ve hurt—”
“You’re a man, Mitya.” She patted his shoulder. “Just a normal, imperfect, decent man.”
He closed his eyes. “Never very decent.”
“I’m going to go now. Because if I don’t, we’ll start singing and crying, and I need the excuse of alcohol for that.”
“Thank you, Liv. For everything.”
He watched her double-check her belongings—triple-check—and walk to the door. “You want the light on? Or off?”
“Off, please.” He watched the door close before he picked up his phone to search his messages.
Nothing from Ajax.
Maybe that wasn’t so surprising? They’d taken all Ajax’s electronics. Maybe he hadn’t gotten the chance to buy a new phone? Maybe he didn’t know Dmytro’s phone number?
Dmytro dropped the thing onto his bed and ruthlessly told himself he didn’t wait for people to call. For men to call.
He wasn’t some lovesick boy.
He didn’t pine, for God’s sake.
When he got back to work and his life was normal again, he’d get Ajax’s new number from Zhenya and call him, if only to see how he was doing. To feel things out.
And if Ajax was embarrassed by or ashamed of the things he’d said in the heat of the moment, Dmytro would be a man about things and let him off the hook.
He lay back and glanced out the window, into the darkness, and tried not to imagine Ajax worrying about letting him down easy.
People did things.
They said things when they thought it was the end.
If Ajax came to tell him he’d reconsidered, then Dmytro would say he’d reconsidered too. There would be no harm done. No hurt feelings. They’d remain friends, of a sort, and that way, if Ajax ever felt he needed protection again, he could call Iphicles without hesitation, because Dmytro wanted him to have the best.
Even if it wasn’t him.
That’s how he knew it was love he felt for Ajax. He’d even suggest Bartosz
for the job.
He swallowed a groan when he shifted in his bed. He was still sore everywhere. He found the television control and turned on the monitor without the sound to watch the local news.
The door opened and a slice of light from the hallway spilled in.
At first he didn’t see anything. Maybe it was one of the nurses come to check his monitors?
He let his gaze go back to the television, afraid to hope.
“Hey,” Ajax said softly from just outside the door. “I hear they’re releasing you tomorrow?”
Dmytro asked, “Are you afraid to come in?”
“No. I—” He stepped forward. “I just wanted to make sure you were alone.”
Dmytro turned off the television and tossed the remote. “As you see, I am totally alone.”
“I see.” Ajax nodded. “So, I wanted to come by—”
“Then why didn’t you?” Dmytro couldn’t help his glare. “I’ve been in this room for three days, able to accept visitors. So why didn’t you come?”
“It’s complicated.” Ajax held his hands up. “I wasn’t sure you wanted me here.”
That got the look it deserved. “I see. So why come now?”
“Because I wanted to say goodbye. And to let you know what my plans are. I thought you might like to visit sometime, once things are back to normal.”
“Visit.” Dmytro examined the word visit next to the words love and hope and a shared future, and found it didn’t have quite the same tone.
“Well, yeah.” Bright flags of color stained Ajax’s cheeks. “Bring the girls.”
“Bring the girls.”
It turned out Dmytro didn’t want to make this easy for either of them after all. Ajax would have to say the words I don’t feel how I did and I didn’t mean what I said out loud, to his face, even if he had to drag it out of him one word at a time.
“Well, yeah. Once I have a place. That could take a while.”’
Or maybe not.
“Then I guess I’ll wait to hear from you.” He turned the television back on. “Thanks for stopping by.”
“What? Why are you acting like this? Like everything I do is wrong all of a sudden and you can’t wait to be rid of me.”
“Me?”
Three Vlog Night Page 20
