As he turned down her street he made himself a promise. It would be Tori for the rest of his life or no one at all. He loved those kids and had since the minute each of them was born. There was a commitment to them which he’d promised to Dave. He’d turned his back on them when he turned his back on Tori.
No more. It was fine that she didn’t want him in her life as a lover or a husband. She might not even like him enough to be her friend, but it wasn’t going to stop him.
If he had to use the kids as leverage, then that’s what he would do. He’d made that promise to Dave and Ashley and he was going to see it through.
He swallowed hard. And when Tori’s baby was born he’d love the baby too, because it was part of Tori—even if he felt like that just might kill him.
The air was thick, but Victoria wasn’t sure if it was because of the heat outside or because she’d sucked in a breath and had forgotten to expel it. The door handle was still clenched in her hand and she stood there staring at Christian all dressed up as if he’d come to take her out.
He’d taken his sunglasses off and slid them to the top of his head. Those dark eyes locked on to hers and then the corner of his mouth turned up and it made the dimple in his cheek crease.
“I know. You weren’t expecting me,” he said, finally breaking the silence and she realized she hadn’t even greeted him.
“Ever.” It was curt, but that was what she was feeling toward him.
He nodded tucking his lips between his teeth. “I heard you weren’t feeling well and I thought I’d stop by and see if you needed anything.”
She narrowed her eyes on him. “Who told you I wasn’t feeling good?”
His eyes were darting and it made her wonder what he’d really heard.
“John said you were sick.”
She let the tension out of her shoulders. “Yes. Seemed to have a touch of the flu. I’m fine now, but thanks for stopping.”
She tried to shut the door, but his foot seemed to wedge it open.
Swinging it back open she held up her hand. “What is it with you? Why are you really here?”
He bit his lip. “Because I also heard that Scott wasn’t here anymore.”
“So you’re here to just take over? I don’t need a man in my life. I can’t seem to keep them happy enough to want to stay.”
“That’s not true.”
“Chris, I don’t know why you’re here, but I have baths to give, dinner to make, and a book to read for the umpteenth time. You look like you have plans and perhaps you should just go do whoever you have plans for.”
She saw the tension in his jaw and knew that was his sign that he’d be turning around and getting into his car, but he wasn’t moving.
Instead, he stood there. His chest heaved enough that she knew he was calming himself with his breath intake. But he hadn’t retreated or said anything else.
“Would you mind if I came in so we could talk?” He asked, his voice low and deep.
That had her hand gripping on the doorknob a little tighter.
“You dressed up to come over here?”
His jaw tightened again. “No. I had plans, but I’ve changed them. Can I come in and talk?”
“Like I said, I’m busy. If you come in you can only stay for a few minutes.”
He nodded and as he passed by her, his cologne filling her nose and making her knees weak, he said, “We’ll see about that.”
Chapter Fifteen
Victoria felt her stomach twitch as he walked by. It was almost as if the baby knew he was there, but she knew that was absolutely impossible. She’d had enough time to Google search pregnancy. What she was feeling now was the mix of emotions that always stirred in her when Christian was around.
She noticed he hadn’t stopped walking once he’d made it through the kitchen. He’d walked all the way out to the family room where the kids were making a fort out of blankets and old sheets.
The words to protest him getting down on his knees and rolling up the sleeves on his shirt seemed to lodge in her throat. What was he doing?
It was obvious he had somewhere to go, why was he playing? What made him think that she wanted him in there with them?
But then she heard Sam giggle and that made Ali giggle—and then Chris.
Tears burned her throat. If she told him right now that she was pregnant with his baby, would he scoop her up in his arms and promise to love her forever? She shook her head and turned away from the play going on in the other room. He wasn’t the same man she’d fallen in love with years ago. This man was broken.
Whatever his reason for stopping by, the kids seemed to be having fun and she was going to utilize the time.
While Ali convinced Christian to make paper hats for all of them, Victoria switched out a load of laundry and took the basket upstairs.
She set the laundry basket on Ali’s bed and opened the dresser drawer. The picture which was prominently displayed on the top caught her eye as it always did. She took a deep breath and picked up the frame.
Her beautiful sister smiled up at her with her loving husband by her side. Each of them held one of their children, who had already grown so much since the picture had been taken.
She ran her finger over the picture and her heart ached. Ashley and Dave would be so proud of their children. And she hoped that if they could see them from heaven that they approved of how she was raising them. She was doing her very best.
“Hey,” Chris’s soft voice came from the door.
She wiped the tears that were clinging to her lashes. “Hey.”
“Ali sent me up for Poppy?”
Victoria let out a chuckle and set the frame back on the dresser. She turned toward the bed draped in pink and picked up the pink plush dog resting on the pillow.
When she turned back, Christian had picked up the frame and was studying it.
“This was only a few months before the accident.”
She nodded. “Easter.”
Christian closed his eyes. “You wore a yellow dress and carried a basket which Sam filled with eggs.”
“Yes,” she said on a breath.
He opened his eyes. “It was a happy time.”
“It was.” She shook the memory from her head and handed the worn dog to him. “This is Poppy.”
Christian took him and looked at him. “She’s had this dog since she was born.”
“Never goes anywhere without it.” Victoria wrung her hands. “I’m surprised you remember.”
“Don’t be. I told you these kids mean something to me. I promised their father that I’d always take care of them when he asked me to be their godfather. I forgot how important some of the promises I made were. I’m having some clarity.”
She heard what he was saying, but how truthful was he about it?
He shot her that handsome smile. “I’d better get back down there. Princess Ali has a tea time and Poppy is her guest.”
Victoria smiled. “Thank you.”
“Truly the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” He turned to walk out of the room.
“Chris,” Tori called. He turned back around. “Why are you here? Why are you really here?”
He took only one step back into the room and looked down at the well-loved dog. “I made a lot of promises to a lot of people and then I let those promises slide so that I could wallow in my own self-pity. One of those promises was to Dave. You’re doing a great job with these kids. But I know once in a while you could use a few minutes to catch your breath.”
Those darn tears were back and she batted them away as fast as she could. “I don’t expect you to do this all the time.”
“You should. I know there isn’t any hope for us. I ruined that and I accept responsibility for that. But I’m going to be here from now on. You are a strong woman and you could do this all on your own—and have been. But you don’t have to.”
“That’s a big promise.”
“Yeah, well in the long term not so big. They’ve already gr
own so much.”
She nodded and he took one more step into the room.
“And if you ever need to talk, I’m here. Anything—okay?”
She sent him a curious look, but he didn’t go on. She only nodded and forced a smile.
“Back to the fort. If you need help with dinner let me know. I’ll leave when their baths are done and you’re done reading whatever book you have to read.”
“Red Fish, Blue Fish.”
His brows came together with a crease dimpling his forehead. “Really? That’s the book?”
She nodded with a chuckle. “I have it memorized.”
“I have it memorized and haven’t read it in thirty years.”
He turned and hurried back down the stairs to play in the fort.
Victoria sat on the bed and rested her hand on her stomach. Did he know? How could he?
She let out a long deliberate breath. No matter what he’d just said to her, she wasn’t going to tell him—not yet. Christian had made many promises and she needed to know he’d keep a few of them, before she told him her secret. For now, she’d simply enjoy the moment to breathe while laughter resonated from downstairs.
Christian had helped them with the fort. They’d had a tea party and now they were picking it all up, with some protest, to get ready for dinner. Victoria was standing over the stove boiling noodles, he thought, and he took a moment to walk over to her.
He made sure not to touch her. “You don’t have to feed me. I dropped in uninvited. I’ll catch dinner when I go.”
“It’s only spaghetti with sauce on the side. Sam doesn’t like sauce. But I have plenty.”
He smiled. “If you don’t mind. I’ll bring over some groceries tomorrow to offset some meals.”
He noticed she swallowed hard, but she didn’t turn to look at him. “You’re coming tomorrow?”
“I would like to stop by and maybe I could take the kids to the park for a little bit. I saw a small glove the other day at the store. It’s not too early to get Sam playing catch. Or Ali for that matter.”
Tori continued to stir the pot of noodles, but her jaw tightened. “You don’t just have to suddenly come and step in. They’ve been this long without a man in their life.”
“I don’t think they should be without one any longer.”
“Chris, I can’t let them get used to having someone around to have them just up and leave.”
He knew where she was going and he wasn’t going to let her win this. “That isn’t going to happen. I’m here for the long haul and even if you and Scott get back together I’ll be here to help you out. I promised Dave I’d look after them and I will.”
Her lips softened. “Scott isn’t coming back.”
“Well, if someone else comes along then. The point is, I’m here. I never should have not been here.”
He could see the tear well in her eye, so he turned away and went back to picking up little cars and stuffed animals.
Victoria watched Chris help the kids. Why was he there? This was crazy. And now he wanted to come back tomorrow?
Sure, she felt that warmth she always did when it came to him, but she couldn’t have him around knowing that he was just going to break her heart again. How could he not? And now it wasn’t just her heart he was going to break, it would be Sam and Ali’s too. Luckily Scott had only been around a few times, but Chris—he was different. Ali remembered him. Sam, he didn’t remember much, but he’d obviously attached himself to Chris. She toyed with the thought again; about telling him about the baby. If this kept up, there’d be no choice.
She watched as he carried both of them, one on his back, the other on his waist—which had to hurt like hell—to the bathroom to wash their hands for dinner.
Give yourself some time, she warned herself. He’s probably not even going to show up tomorrow.
Dinner was pleasant. Chris refused to let her serve him until the kids were sure they had enough food. When she did serve him, he was gracious. Not that she’d expected anything less. His mother had raised him right.
After dinner he offered to clean up while she got their baths going, and he’d made it clear he’d like to be there for the reading of Red Fish, Blue Fish. She agreed and, a half hour later, she called down the stairs for him.
She sat on the edge of Sam’s bed, ready to read the book. The moment caught her in the chest when he walked into the room in the dim light. It was too cozy.
This was how it was supposed to have been. She wasn’t going to cry. This crying was getting out of control, but having been around her sister and Sonia when they were pregnant, she knew it was part of the process.
He stood near the door and leaned up against the wall casually. With a nod he gave her a wink to start the story.
Victoria moistened her lips with her tongue as they seemed to have gone dry.
Ali clutched Poppy and Sam’s eyes were already heavy. She started the story, but even the easy rhymes were hard to follow knowing Christian was standing there watching her with those sexy brown eyes.
By the time she was finished, she realized Christian was the only one still listening. Both Sam and Ali were fast asleep.
She closed the book. “I think you wore them out tonight.”
“Trust me, I was fighting it myself. They wore me out too. I don’t know how you do this every day.”
A part of her wanted to tell him that, with him there, the night had been much easier.
She looked down at the little blonde angel clutching the worn out dog. In the past few months, she’d become just too big for her to carry and it had become necessary for her to wake her almost every night to walk to bed.
“I’ll get her.” Christian moved toward her.
“Are you sure? She’s too big for me now.”
He nodded and moved in to scoop her up in his arms. Victoria had to press her hand to her stomach as she watched him carry her out of the room. They were a family, whether he’d stay or not. She had that part of him growing inside her and it was up to her to let him in.
She turned off the light and hurried downstairs to compose herself before she had to face Chris and tell him goodbye.
The kitchen was spotless and all traces of dinner had been cleaned up. Even the pot had been washed and leftovers put up.
The hum of the dishwasher caught her attention, but then there was something else. A rattling—no a buzzing of a cell phone on silent.
She looked around until she found the source. Chris’s phone had fallen out while he was playing with the kids and it was on the floor in the family room.
Victoria picked it up as it buzzed again. The message splayed on the screen. It was what appeared to be one of seven messages from a Rachael.
DON’T BOTHER TO CALL.
Again, those stupid and pesky tears welled in her eyes. She could only assume Rachael was the woman he was dressed up for. Christian didn’t usually just look that good unless he was out to impress.
There was a sharp pain in her chest, but she had to let it go. He wasn’t hers to keep. She’d made it as clear to him after they’d spent the night together that she didn’t need him—just as he’d made it clear he couldn’t make a family with her.
A wave of nausea began to move through her. Not now. Not now! She pressed her hand to her stomach, but it wasn’t going to hold.
As she looked up she noticed Christian walking into the kitchen. He moved to her swiftly.
“Are you okay?” His eyes were wide and he looked scared. Why would he be scared if he thought she was only sick? But those were the eyes of someone frightened.
“I don’t feel well.”
“C’mon, sit down.”
He helped her to the couch. “I’ll get you some water.”
She could hear him in the kitchen opening and closing doors to cabinets. A moment later he was back with water.
“Here sip this.”
She reached for the glass, but her hand was shaky. He helped her until she got a sip down and everythi
ng began to feel more normal.
“Better?”
She nodded, but now her eyes were growing heavy. “I’m fine. I’ll be okay.”
“Tori, I can stay. If you still don’t feel well I can…”
“No. No, you can’t stay.”
He only nodded as if that was exactly what he thought she’d say.
“I’ve managed in worse situations. Besides, Ali will be up in a few hours. You being here will only confuse her.”
“A few hours?” His eyebrows narrowed.
“She wakes up a few times a night looking for her mother. Most of the time she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it.”
He shook his head. “That’s terrible, for both of you.”
Victoria shrugged. “It’s just part of our life.” She felt the vibration of the phone in her hand again. She looked down at it and she wanted to squeeze it into a million pieces.
She looked up at him and lifted her hand. “This is yours. You left it out here.”
“Oh. I hadn’t even noticed.” He looked at the screen, frowned, and then tucked it into his pocket.
She took another sip of the water and then focused in on him. “Did you stand up a date?”
The lines around his eyes deepened. “I came here and that was more important.”
“I don’t suppose Rachel thinks so.”
He didn’t say anything else and she’d wished he’d just tell her that Rachel was his assistant or something, but she knew better. She’d tried to move on with Scott and it was now obvious he’d tried to move on with Rachel.
“Can I help you upstairs?”
She wanted to tell him that if he would tuck her in and tuck himself in next to her that would be the best. But she knew it wouldn’t make everything better. Christian had to want that.
“I’ll be fine.”
He’d tried to convince her again, but she held to what she thought was best. “And you really don’t have to come by tomorrow. You’re busy.”
“I’ll be here. Let me be here.”
She walked behind him to the door. He pulled it open and turned to her. She was almost waiting for him to try and kiss her. But he didn’t.
“Can I bring anything tomorrow?”
Home Run Page 10
