by Aya DeAniege
I feel like that now.
That sense of newness and accomplishment.
I pulled off my shirt and dropped it on the floor as I walked toward the bathroom. The rest of my clothing followed. By the time I was at the bathroom door, I was naked. I could hear the shower going, and I hesitated.
There was a naked woman on the other side of that door, and I was pretty sure she expected sex. I wanted to participate in said sex, but all of a sudden I was limp like a deflated balloon. I wanted to participate, but I was just standing there.
Uncertain and nervous.
I sucked in a breath and crossed the threshold of the bathroom.
Sera was in the shower, under the waterfall head. Her eyes were closed, head right under the stream. She had the temperature up so high that there was steam coming off it even as I watched. She turned as I entered, looking through the glass door at me with a little smile.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” I said.
“Are you going to join me, or just watch?” she asked.
“Sorry,” I said, headed for the shower door.
I slipped into the shower, the wave of steam hitting me like a wall. It was just a degree or so above what made me comfortable, but I’d bear it for her.
Sera turned to me and set her hands on my chest.
It’s just like de-demonizing a human.
I had done that a million times in the past.
I bent and captured Sera’s lips, my fingers trailing down her sides as she thrust her tongue into my mouth. We kissed under the water. Her fingers wrapped up under my arms, pressing into my shoulders as our hips ground together.
We moved under the water, pushing her back against the shower wall as I stepped up to her.
A year and a half previous, Sam had installed non-slip flooring into all showers in the estate. We thought he had just been paranoid about Grace moving in, but suddenly it was a lot more apparent what those floors were for.
Shower sex was naturally dangerous. Water and tile made for a slippery surface. Even we weren’t sure-footed at all times.
We continued kissing as I set my feet carefully on the floor and shifted my weight to test my footing. My hands moved up and down her sides.
Sera broke it off. She bit her bottom lip as she stared up at me.
“Is it the wings into the grace bit?” she asked. “Is that why you’re hesitating?”
“No,” I said. “I trust him when he says it’s a long way off. No, this is still new to me.”
She sighed out, her fingers lifting just a little.
“If I’m pushing you, we can wait,” she said.
“I don’t want to wait, but I’m overthinking things,” I said. “I want this, I want to have you and listen to you make sounds, but then we get here, in the shower and it’s like, is there even a penis involved?”
She frowned at me as if trying to figure out what I meant. Then she looked down between us. When she looked back up, there was no judgement.
“What if we focus on me, and if you find your penis, it can join the party?” Sera asked with a little smile.
I thought about it for a moment, then smiled myself. That didn’t bother me in the least because I did want to hear her making sounds. I did want to do all that with her, but I couldn’t seem to get past my own block.
However, hands and tongue were things I was skilled with.
“Okay.”
We kissed again. I moved my hands from her hips, up her sides and then back down again. I felt the silken skin of her body, drawing out shivers. Pulling away from her lips, I turned my teeth to her neck, nipping gently at the flesh before kissing the tender flesh. My fingers flowed over Sera’s breasts.
I pulled away then, watching my fingers caress that soft flesh.
“Are you enamoured?” she asked.
“Maybe,” I purred out.
I kissed her lips, then her throat. I lowered myself as I continued to kiss down her stomach until I was kneeling on the shower floor. Sera smiled down at me, her legs spreading as I pushed them gently with my hands. I rose eagerly to the challenge, kissing and lapping at her flesh as she spread her legs further for me.
Sera moaned as I lapped at her, doing circles with my tongue. I reached up, grasping her breast with my hand. I flushed as Sera moaned again. Her hips moved, and I followed her, thrusting my tongue in and around.
Apparently, that was all I needed.
The sounds she was making, the way she moved, how her fingers tangled in my hair, locking in a death grip as I hit the right spot, finally. Sometimes I had to search for it, but I always found it.
I rose the moment I felt the stiffening. Kissing as I went, fingers roaming over her flesh as I went. Sera smiled, wrapping her arms around my neck as I reached between us. I guided myself in as she let out a little shuddering breath.
“Let me hear you moan,” I whispered.
I thrust, and her mouth opened, a little sound came out, but it was little more than a loud breath. When I did it again, her face turned to the ceiling and her back arched. I turned my attention to her neck, nipping at it as I continued.
The first proper moan sent a shudder through me. Every motion of our bodies together pushed me that much closer to the edge, and I tried to hold on, but it was difficult. She was simply far too much for any control I decided to apply to my thoughts.
She was too hot, too wet, and too tight.
Buried inside of her, I came to completion. I pressed against her, staying close as she let out a shuddering breath.
“Shit, did you—?” I sighed out.
“Never ask that again,” she said with a little laugh. “Am I kicking you out?”
Out of her, or out of the shower?
“No?” I asked.
“Then you did good,” she said with a smile. “Could you maybe let me down, so I can stand on my own feet?”
“I like being inside of you.”
“Well, you can’t sleep there,” she said. “And I’d like to wash the blood off of me.”
“Fair enough.”
I pulled away gently, setting her on her feet.
Turning, I reached and grabbed the soap and a washcloth. I lathered up the cloth, then made a motion to her to turn around. Sera turned to face the shower wall. I washed her back for her, looking over the ragged bruising that was appearing.
Against the shower wall had been a mistake. I should have thought about that. Her skin would have been delicate after so much trauma.
I wiped away the drying blood, dabbing gently at the bruising.
Her wings were still there, but I swore they glittered in the light of the bathroom as if grace were working its way into the real world, flashing and sparking as it came in contact with the air.
Our myth and stories said that Father had taken grace and used it to create the universe. That he had then taken that grace and split it into all of us, giving us a bit of creation to carry everywhere, we went. When pure grace came in contact with the air, it produced something that looked very much like the northern lights.
After washing her back, I turned her and smiled as she winced.
“I’m not bleeding, right?” she asked.
“No, just bruised,” I said. “It sometimes happens when he heals some serious trauma, and that was some serious trauma. We shouldn’t have done that against the wall, it probably made things worse.”
“It didn’t,” Raphael said from the shower door.
He was leaning against the bathroom wall but was entirely dressed. There was blood on his clothing, something I hadn’t noticed before. Raphael could stand blood as he was healing, but I knew he liked to get clean of it right away.
So I didn’t point it out, because I knew he’d do what he usually did and freaked out, throwing his clothing off of him before he ran sobbing for the closest shower.
The action amused me, but I had promised not to be petty again.
“The bruising is where the wings had been ripping through y
our flesh,” he said. “Your soul will be bruised for a while as well, which means you could end up in tears over things that wouldn’t normally make you cry. You’ll feel better in ten days.”
“No life choices between now and then, you mean?” Sera asked.
“You’ll be spending the night here tonight,” Raphael said. “Then we’re going to take you home, make certain you are situated and then we’ll take it a day at a time.”
“I’m not going to change my mind,” she said.
“About the two of us?” Raphael asked. “We know. It’s both of us or neither, we already agreed to that. We don’t expect you to change your mind anytime soon.”
“Then, why don’t you come join us?” Sera asked.
Raphael cast me a look. That one I had seen before. I made a little motion on my hip and took a step back. He seemed to make a sound, though I wasn’t certain if the sound was made, or if I was just supplementing the sound I often heard when Raphael made that motion.
He stepped back from the shower door and began stripping off his clothing while keeping his eyes on us. I tried not to pay too much attention to the blood splatter, though I worried he would look down and see the spots. The shirt was dropped behind him. Then the shoes were kicked to the side. He knew a great deal more about undressing for witnesses.
As he became completely naked, I looked away.
Sera was staring with a smile, lips curling upward as she seemed to rock a little back and forth.
Raphael stepped into the shower, slipping past me but not getting too close. Our showers were large, even in the guest rooms. He went straight for Sera, kissing her as I stepped back.
I could have left the shower, but I stubbornly hung around. Watching, waiting for some opening.
He put his hands on her immediately, reaching between them as the water began trailing down his back. His muscles rippled under his skin as he moved. Imitating every shift and shudder of Sera’s body as he pleasured her. Sera moaned, and Raphael took a step closer.
His style of sex was different from mine. He kept his lips practically hovering as she chased after him. I realized that she was moving with him, not the other way around. Sera was reaching for Raphael, moving with him even as he moved away.
Raphael ended up with his back pressed against the wall as Sera pushed against him. Suddenly she was reaching between them. I saw his mouth open, jaw quivering as she began moving her hand.
“Love, why don’t we adjust?” he asked.
“You can’t pick anything up,” I said. “You’ll make yourself sick.
Raphael glared at me over Sera’s shoulder. She turned and looked at me.
“Are you just going to toss out problems?” she asked.
I almost grumbled, then I moved the foot or so between us and reached. I picked Sera up and helped. Raphael made a little sound. His hands slipped around her hips, touching me as I supported her weight for him. I had to get the rhythm for him, which was awkward because I had no idea how either of them liked it.
I’m sure, from the sounds she was making, that Raphael was doing his share of work, but I didn’t want to overstress him. I watched the motion of his hips and moved with him as best I could.
Sera arched up and back, her arms wrapping around me as I ended up almost close enough to kiss Raphael. I turned toward her and Sera bent almost over my shoulder, mouth open. I kissed her instead. My tongue in her mouth as Raphael had to make up the pace.
She moaned against my lips, fingers of one hand tangling in my hair as the other drifted against my neck.
I was just supposed to be there to help. But, if kissing a beautiful woman helped, then so be it. Her fingers tightened suddenly, digging painfully into my scalp. Every bit of her went tense.
And just as quickly as it had come over her, she went loose again. Every bit of trouble just seemed to drain from her. Sera all but collapsed in my arms as Raphael let out a weird, little moaning sound.
Was that his sex face?
I helped her back to her feet, then kissed her again. She pulled away after a moment, maybe two, and moved toward Raphael, kissing him as she kept her fingers tangled in my hair. When she pulled away, I worried for a moment, that she’d push us together. I saw the flash on Raphael’s face and knew he thought the same.
But Sera only made a little sound and slipped under the water. She began washing, smiling over her shoulder at us. I stepped up to her, wrapping my arms around her as the water rained down. She turned in my arms and reached, seemingly to nowhere, and produced a facecloth and soap.
Right, Raphael.
Sera began washing me as Raphael stepped up close behind me. I stiffened, eyes going wide as I turned slightly, looking at him.
“Shower’s big, the shower head is small,” he said, then he lowered his voice. “I need to wash it off.”
It was a desperate sort of tone to his voice. One that I had heard before. I stepped to the side as Sera tried to wash me, pulling Raphael under the stream of hot water.
Raphael had seen the blood and somehow managed not to freak out. Not really, but he was on edge and felt the need to clean. I could understand that. I liked blood. He didn’t. Which meant that I let him have the water and the attractive woman willing to wash both of us until he felt clean enough not to end up crying the moment she turned her back.
When Sera turned to rinse off, Raphael almost did just that. His eyes closed, and he put his face in the stream of water as if that would wash away the look on his face.
Sera turned back, and Raphael smiled, his face still pointed upward, eyes still closed. She looked at him, then glanced at me.
“I’m clean enough,” I said.
Sera shrugged, then turned and shut off the water. The heat seemed to disappear with the water. She looked between the two of us.
“Towel?” she asked, setting her weight on one hip. “As much as I like being naked, I’d like to dry off almost as much.”
“I like naked women,” Raphael said.
“I like how hard your nipples are,” I said.
Sera crossed her arms and gave me a nasty look. I shrugged as if she were pulling my arm and slipped out of the shower, which required passing dangerously close to Raphael.
He and I had to have a conversation about that. About what our limits and boundaries were. Sera would have no trouble following along. She seemed genuinely determined to be respectful of our desires, and I liked that about her.
Raphael and I had to talk because we brushed and he stiffened. My penis over his ass cheek, I’m almost certain that had happened before. I know men had brushed up against me before, and it hadn’t bothered me in the least. It had been a different time, however. And men were part of an army, they bathed and slept together.
Though, I’m pretty damned certain Raphael had had a man’s penis brush up against all sorts of things on his body.
I left the shower and grabbed a towel. Then I thought better of it and walked to the linen closet and pulled out a couple of towels. Headed back to the shower, I handed one to Sera, who was the first one out of the shower, then the second one to Raphael. The last one, I wrapped around my hips as Sera began towelling herself dry.
Raphael dried himself as Sera made a head motion toward him with wider eyes.
She meant something by that, I knew it. But while I wanted to reach out to Raphael, I was hesitating. Instead of moving, I made a motion behind Raphael’s back, which Sera seemed to scowl at in an almost expectant fashion.
“What?” Raphael asked.
“Nothing,” Sera said. “Just, before you came in, Michael and I were talking about how he wanted to but was hesitant because he was overthinking things.”
Oh no.
Sera was speaking in code. Not only was she speaking in code, I understood what she meant.
That my hesitance with Raphael and my hesitance with her from before were practically the same, she also meant to shake a finger at me, because I was letting Raphael suffer because of my hesitance.
>
I’m in over my head.
I think they were talking in code, and I think Sera was trying to push an issue. Yes, being that close in the shower, I had wanted something more. I hadn’t seen Michael naked since Roman times. Even then, we hadn’t been that close. It had been across a field.
But I didn’t want Sera pushing the issue. Michael had a temper. He tended to snap at people when pushed to do something he didn’t like. I didn’t want her forcing him and him snapping on either of us. She just didn’t know him enough to know what she might be doing.
I glanced at Michael and tried to convey to him that I didn’t expect that because I didn’t. I knew where he and I stood. Sera getting involved didn’t change that, and I knew that on the surface she wouldn’t push, but right then, I felt like she was trying to mash us together and make us kiss.
I finished drying and reached for my shirt as Michael pulled Sera out of the bathroom. When I saw the blood, I stopped. I stared at it, then looked around the bathroom. I had nothing else I could wear as a top, but I couldn’t bring myself to put the shirt on. I dropped it to the floor in disgust. Even the pants weren’t great. I couldn’t see the blood because they were made of a dark fabric, but I could feel it in the threads. With a grimace, I pulled them on because I only had one other option, and I wasn’t comfortable strutting about naked in front of Michael.
Somewhat dressed, I moved to the bedroom area. Michael had his pants on and had his shirt in his hands. He brought it to me and held it out.
His shirt.
I took it and looked away as I slid it on. When I glanced up, Michael was looking somewhere about chest level. He met my eyes, then pointedly turned to Sera, as if trying to convey something to me with a look alone.
Right, the healing.
“Sera,” I said.
“Yes?” she asked as she towelled her hair dry.
She was still stark naked. She had the towel, yes, but otherwise, she was naked and making no effort to get her clothing.
