Shock rippled over his features like wind through leaves. ‘How old were you?’
‘Five. But I remember it as if it were yesterday. I’ve always blamed myself. What if I was a difficult child? Too much for her to handle. What if I drove her to take that overdose?’
‘You were five years old, for pity’s sake,’ he said. ‘It was her responsibility to look after you. What could you have done anyway?’
‘Maybe checked on her earlier...’ Abby blinked, trying not to think of that day. Even though she had been so young, the image of coming out of her bedroom the next morning and seeing her mother lying on that threadbare-carpeted floor was imprinted on her brain.
Luke came over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘Look at me, Abby.’
Abby slowly brought her gaze back to meet his. ‘Even though I was young, I remember a lot about the night before she died. I was tired and hungry and my mother was agitated and insisted I go to bed earlier than usual. She would often lock me in there when... Anyway, she must have injected herself while sitting on the floor by her bed because that’s where I found her the next morning. I would have got help earlier if I’d realised what she’d done. That’s what I have to live with. I could have saved her but I didn’t. The irony is my bedroom door wasn’t even locked. I just thought it was, like it had been so many times before. I went to bed and went to sleep, thinking it was better than having a big showdown with her where she would hit or slap me. When I came out in the morning, I thought she was asleep but she wasn’t...’
‘Oh, Abby.’ He gathered her close in a hug, his arms warm and supportive and protective as if he were holding that small, terrified child and comforting her.
That was all he said: Oh, Abby. But within those two words was a message of understanding and empathy that she hadn’t realised until now she had been waiting all her life to hear.
After a few moments, he eased back to look at her with a soft and tender look that made her heart swell like bread dough. ‘You mustn’t blame yourself.’
‘Ditto.’
He made a rueful movement of his lips and stepped away from her again. ‘Yeah, well, do as I preach but not as I do. Hypocritical of me, I know, but that’s the way it is.’ He walked into his en suite bathroom and came out with his bathrobe. ‘Here. Put this on for now.’
Abby took the bathrobe from him and went into the bathroom to put it on, expecting when she returned he would have left the bedroom, but he was back over by the window, staring at the dappled sunlight coming through the leaves of the tree outside.
‘Luke?’ She took one step towards him and then two and then four until she was standing with her arms wrapped around his waist from behind.
His hands came down on hers and she braced herself for the moment he would push her away but it didn’t come. Instead, he turned and his hands went to her hips, holding her close enough for their bodies to brush. ‘This is crazy.’ His eyes went to her mouth as if he had no control over his vision. ‘Stupidly, irresponsibly crazy.’ And then his mouth came down and covered hers.
CHAPTER SIX
A THRILL RUSHED through Abby at the undercurrent of passion in Luke’s kiss. His lips moved with increasing urgency against hers, drawing from her a response that was equally passionate. Her body came alive at the determined thrust of his tongue, sending an electrifying shockwave of lust through her, making her bones shudder with the force of it like someone rattling a loosely assembled cage. His tongue found hers and played with such blatant eroticism her inner core contracted with greedy, hungry need.
This was why she hadn’t made love to anyone before. No one had ever made her feel this level of arousal. No one had made her feel wanted for her. Not just for her body. He made her feel safe and understood. Desire shot through her with hot darting arrows, making her aware of every secret crevice of her body in a way she never had before.
The hollow ache between her legs became unbearable. A pulsing ache that begged for the possession of his hard body. An ache that could not be satisfied by anyone but him.
Luke walked her backwards to the bed, his mouth still fused to hers, the movement of his thighs brushing against hers making her insides quiver in feverish anticipation. No kiss she had ever experienced made her feel this level of excitement. Every one of her erogenous zones was eagerly awaiting his touch. She could feel herself swelling in her most secret place, the tingling sensation like a hollow spasm of part pain, part pleasure.
Luke laid her down on the bed and came down beside her, his hand going down her body in one slow stroke from her breast to her thigh and back again. When he came back to her breast he bent his mouth to it, circling his tongue around her tight nipple, stirring sensations in her that made her back arch like a cat enjoying a stroke.
He opened his mouth over her nipple, teasing it with his tongue, and then drawing on her with gentle little sucks that made her mouth drop open on a gasp of pleasure. He moved to the other breast, subjecting it to the same exquisite torture, sending riotous pulses of delight through her body.
‘You’re beautiful,’ he said against her lips. ‘Every inch of you is so damn beautiful.’
Abby wasn’t used to receiving compliments and wasn’t sure if he was just saying it to make her feel more comfortable with him. But she already felt amazingly comfortable with him. Why else had she stood half naked before him without a qualm? ‘Careful,’ she said with a self-effacing smile. ‘You’ll give me a big head.’
‘That’s not the only thing that’s getting big around here.’ His crooked smile made his blue eyes glint.
‘I can feel it.’ Abby reached for him, taking him carefully in her hand so she could explore the shape and heft of him. He was beading at the tip, the signal of high arousal, and it thrilled her to think she had done that to him.
He groaned and then let out a swift breath and eased her hand away, holding it captive in his. ‘I don’t want to rush this. To rush you.’
Abby was so aroused she couldn’t imagine needing further stimulation. But when he brought his mouth back to her breasts her desire went up another notch, until she was breathing heavily as his lips and tongue and the gentle pressure of his teeth made her body sing like an opera diva.
He moved from her breasts to press soft just-touching kisses all the way down to her belly. He dipped the tip of his tongue into the shallow whirl of her bellybutton, setting off a racing fire of need further down her body.
‘I want to taste you.’ His voice had that honey and gravel combo thing going on. She hadn’t realised it was possible to be so turned on by a man’s voice.
Abby had read about this type of pleasuring but had never thought it was for her. She thought she’d be too shy or embarrassed at being so exposed to a lover. But, strangely, she felt none of that. All she felt was a sense of rightness, that this was what she wanted and needed, and somehow he did too.
He kissed her mound, allowing her time to get used to him being so close to the most intimate part of her body. Then he gently opened her with a stroke of his tongue, the caress making her shiver from head to foot with a cascading shower of powerful sensations. He went deeper, his lips and tongue working on the swollen nub of her clitoris, sending lightning strikes of pleasure through her.
The sudden orgasm swept through her like a hurricane through a house of cards, spinning her senses, flipping and rolling and tossing them until her entire body was shaking with it. Ripples of aftershock pulsed through her flesh, leaving her breathless until every muscle relaxed as if her skeleton had been turned to liquid. ‘That was...amazing isn’t the right word,’ Abby’s voice came out as a whisper. ‘Mind-blowing. Unbelievable. Magical. Wow. Wow. Wow.’
He came back to kiss her mouth, the musky taste of her on his lips exciting her in a way she would never have thought possible. It added another layer of intimacy that made her feel as if something had shifted between them.
Something unique and special that could not be undone.
Luke cares
sed her breasts again, lingering over each one as if he couldn’t get enough of her.
‘Aren’t you going to—?’ Abby said, feeling the hard ridge of his arousal against her thigh.
‘I’m trying to slow down.’
‘You don’t need to. I’m ready.’ She was more than ready. Her body was crying out for the physical connection that would finally join her with him in the most intimate embrace known to humankind.
He framed her face with his hands, his gaze searching. ‘Are you sure about this. Really sure?’
Abby had never felt surer about anything. ‘Make love to me, Luke. Please?’
He took in an uneven breath, his gaze dipping to her mouth, his thumb pad stroking along her lower lip. ‘You have such a kissable mouth. I’ve thought about kissing it for a long time.’
A rush of pleasure ran through her. ‘How long?’
‘Remember when Ella first introduced us?’
‘Yes.’ Abby remembered it well. It had been four years ago when she was nineteen and still trying to find her feet. She had not long started a journalism degree because she couldn’t decide what course to take and she’d met Ella while she had been working part-time in a bookshop to cover her study expenses. They’d struck up a conversation about the books they liked and within no time at all they were catching up for coffee and chatting as if they’d been friends since childhood. Not that Abby had told Ella the truth about her childhood. She wanted to maintain the image of herself she always projected, as someone who didn’t have baggage or hang-ups or embarrassing relatives she would never have chosen if she’d had a choice. ‘Ella brought me around to your house to meet you.’
‘I wasn’t in the mood for visitors.’
‘I could tell that,’ Abby said. ‘I didn’t like you at all. I thought you were standoffish and gruff.’
He stroked her bottom lip again, his gaze still trained on her mouth. ‘I didn’t always use to be like that... Well, not that bad, anyway. But when you smiled at me that day it made me feel about a thousand years old.’
She stroked her hand down his chest to his erection. ‘You don’t feel that old to me.’
He gave her a twisted smile. ‘You’re still way too young for me.’
‘I’m only nine years younger and I’m mature for my age, or at least I like to think so.’ Abby considered herself mature because for as long as she could remember she had been thrown on the mercy of her own resources. Nothing made you grow up faster than having no reliable adults around to depend on.
He kissed the end of her nose. ‘You have an air of youthfulness about you. Like you believe life is meant to be fun and happy and you’ll do anything you can to make it that way.’
‘It’s called positivity,’ Abby said. ‘Looking forward not back.’
His eyes did that searching thing again as if he was looking for something in her gaze. ‘Abby...’ He touched her face with a brush of a finger. ‘You need to understand this is only for now. I can’t promise more than that and even a short time frame is probably risking things.’
Abby wasn’t sure what exactly he thought he was risking. Liking her too much? Enjoying being with her? Maybe even falling in love with her? But there was her risk assessment to consider. What if she fell in love with him? Was she flirting with danger by entering into a short-term affair that had no possibility of being for ever?
‘We can set a date if you want,’ Abby said, repeating her offer from earlier. ‘We can programme it into our phones to give us a reminder. Ping.’ She snapped her fingers. ‘End of fling.’
A flicker of something passed through his gaze. ‘You’re joking, right?’
‘I’m not joking,’ Abby said. ‘This is clearly creating a bit of stress for you so why not both of us agree on a breakup date?’
‘It sounds a little...clinical.’
‘It’s more practical rather than clinical,’ Abby said. ‘We agree on a date and stick to it. Seriously, I should write a column about this. I could call it the no-nonsense guide to having a fling, or a fling without tears.’
His expression was shadowed by a frown and he started to ease away from her. ‘Maybe this isn’t such a great idea.’
Abby laid her hand on his arm. ‘So you get to pleasure me but I don’t get to pleasure you? How is that fair?’
He placed his hand over hers, his mouth set in a firm line. ‘All right. One week from today, okay?’
One week? Abby had been hoping for two, possibly three. Months, not weeks. Years would have been even better. ‘Agreed.’
He held her gaze for a long beat before he bent his mouth to hers, kissing her with such passion her desire for him hammered and hummed in her blood.
He lifted his mouth and reached for a condom in the bedside drawer, but she found it incredibly touching he had to rustle around in there for a while before he located one. His long drought between lovers made her feel even more special. This was a big step for her and it was a big step for him. They’d made a commitment to have a one-week fling. It was as if they were equals, two people on a search for connection on a purely physical level.
He looked at the small foil packet a little doubtfully. ‘I hope this isn’t past its use-by date. Are you taking any contraception?’
‘I take the Pill so I can regulate my cycle,’ Abby said. ‘I hate getting my period at inconvenient times. The Pill means I can plan it to fit in with my lifestyle.’
He unwrapped the condom and applied it to himself and then came back to settle between her legs, one of his positioned over hers, his weight propped up on his arms. ‘Still sure you want to do this? It’s not too late to stop.’
Abby took his face in her hands and eyeballed him. ‘What part of I want you do you not understand?’
He gave her another crooked smile. ‘Okay. I get it. You want me, but I don’t think you want me half as much as I want you.’
‘Try me and see.’ She moved against him, offering herself to him, going on instinct as if her body knew what to do and when to do it and all she had to do was go with it.
He parted her with his fingers, and then he gently inserted one finger. Once he was sure she had accepted him without flinching, he inserted two fingers, moving them ever so carefully against her flesh as if she were something infinitely precious. ‘Still okay?’
‘Wonderfully okay,’ Abby said on a shuddering sigh.
He moved over her, positioning himself so he could enter her, taking his time so she could get used to her body wrapping around him. She gasped with pleasure but he mistook it for pain and pulled away, his expression taut with concern. ‘Did I hurt you?’
‘No, I was just taken by surprise by how good it feels, how good you feel,’ Abby said.
He moved back to her folds, slowing entering her inch by inch until she accepted him fully. Then he began moving, slow and gentle thrusts that sent waves of delight through her body. It wasn’t as direct and intense as when he’d pleasured her with his mouth, but the rhythmic movement of him stirred a pool of longing into a whirlpool. She was almost there but not quite, her body straining to reach the summit but unable to find the point of no return.
Luke reached down between their bodies and caressed her with his fingers in a flickering movement that triggered an explosion in her intimate flesh. It radiated out in rippling waves that flowed through her body until she was half crying, half gasping from the ferocious impact of it.
He waited until she was done before he gave a series of hard, quick thrusts as if he was unable to control the tempo now he had finally allowed himself to let go.
And then there was silence—a silence unlike any Abby had experienced before. Peace descended on her like the feathery down of a luxury quilt, covering her body in a mantle of exquisite relaxation...
* * *
Luke couldn’t tear his eyes away from Abby, sleeping next to him. Her body was once more entangled with his; one arm flopped limply over his waist, the other hand resting on the thud-pitty-thud of his heart. He was in t
wo minds about berating himself for what had just happened. What he had allowed to happen. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to fully regret making love to her. The experience of holding her in his arms, possessing her and leading her to her first orgasm with a partner was beyond anything he had experienced with any other lover.
Was that why it had been so different, because Abby had been a virgin? He wasn’t sure, although it had definitely given their encounter a special context that made him feel privileged and honoured that she had trusted him to be her first lover. He knew one thing for certain; he would never forget the experience.
But this was as far as it could go.
As far as he would allow it to go. A brief fling and then it would be time for her to move on and find her Mr Perfect—if such a man existed.
Luke had been so shocked to wake up with her spooned against him. Deeply shocked in his mind and yet his body had hijacked reason, sabotaged his resolve and made a mockery of his determination to keep away from her.
God only knew what his sister would make of his week-long fling with Abby. Ella had been at him for years—at least four years—to get back out there in the dating pool. Unbeknown to his family, he had gone on a couple of lukewarm dates over the last couple of years. But he didn’t take them any further because he was unable to invest in a relationship where he would be responsible—accountable—for someone else’s emotions.
He’d seen first-hand the emotional devastation of his mother when his father left. It had been gut-wrenching to witness and his sense of utter powerlessness had always stayed with him. Luke had worried for years she would never recover. He had an overwhelming sense of responsibility to keep the rest of the family together. To keep his mother in good spirits even though it had been a difficult battle to this day. She had never re-partnered and in a way he couldn’t blame her. He too had been blindsided by his father’s abandonment of the wife and family he had claimed so volubly and so publicly to love.
A Virgin for a Vow Page 8
