I stopped, suddenly taken aback. I wanted to reach out and grab him, pulling him back to me, but not if he looked at me like that. He must have just lost control. And you thought he would always want you. Your pettiness, going back and forth, would push anyone away, especially someone as perfect as James. My bitchy subconscious could shove it at the moment! Stupid whore!
"James," I started, without any idea where I intended to take the conversation, but I thought now was as good a time as ever to tell him that I didn’t want us to be apart any longer. I was ready to admit that I made a mistake. The look on his face seemed to suggest he didn’t really want me though, no matter what his body might have said only moments before.
"We have work to do. It won't happen again," With that last remark, he shut himself off.
It was almost as if I could see it right when it happened now. That light, playful look in his eyes shone most of the time when we were together, but now, all the features on his face were hardened. He was strictly business again.
James didn't talk to me much for the rest of the evening and I tried to focus on the steady search of our assigned rooms. In the three we covered, there were no entries to secret rooms or answers to be found anywhere. James seemed surprised, but then again, I couldn't be sure since he was barely looking at me. We were back before the others and we slipped out through the passage on the side of the building. Before I could get the nerve to start our conversation again, we heard noises coming from behind us. The others had emerged.
"Any luck?" I looked expectantly at Caroline.
"We discovered a few passages, but they just led to other rooms," she sighed dejectedly.
"One bedroom led to the kitchen though. How cool would that have been?" Riley chimed in. I smiled warmly at him.
Caroline frowned at James, perhaps due to his silence, but when his eyes flicked to me, she seemed to understand. Clearly, she sensed the overwhelmingly uncomfortable tension radiating off the two of us.
We got back to the hotel around three in the morning and I left James to crawl under my covers. In an effort to avoid more lurid thoughts of James, I tried to remember the real purpose for us being here. The more we searched in vain, the more I was convinced this would be a tougher journey than anyone expected. Time was passing and we weren’t getting any closer to the answers. I knew now that Audrey and her henchmen wolves were trying to find us; and Marik and the other Protectors were hot on our trail as well. I knew we didn’t have an unlimited amount of time to search and we needed to get on the right path soon to have any hope of succeeding.
I tried again in vain to think of what that feeling I had in my stomach was about. It happened when I thought of where to look. If I could only focus harder, I knew I could rid my brain of that nagging feeling and figure this whole thing out.
Riley snuck into my room first thing the next morning. I doubt he actually “snuck” past the vampires, but he was very quiet. Old human habits die hard for us mere mortals, I guess. He hopped on top of my covers and propped himself up.
“Good morning, sunshine!” he grinned.
“Good morning! You’re up early, you psycho,” I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the alarm clock. It was already nine am.
“Uh, I don’t think early is the right word for nine am, Ariya,” he smiled, but just briefly. “I’ve been thinking about something,” he began, dropping his grin from a moment before into a simple smirk when he saw my dramatic, half-open eyelids and the look I gave him.
“Go on,” I waved my hand in the air.
“Do you think there’s more going on here? I mean, more than we know?” he asked, suddenly turning serious.
“What do you mean?”
“We have only been here in the hotel or at the castle since James and Nick arrived. We haven’t gone anywhere and they always make sure we order food from room service or we eat downstairs. We go straight to and from the castle, minus our drive-abouts and what do you think about the random attack a few hours ago?”
“Maybe they are just directing all their efforts into our current mission. Maybe it was a random attack and they simply got lucky. Plus, you know how James and Nick get when they have their minds set on something.”
“I’m going stir crazy stuck inside these four walls,” he said.
“More like forty.” I smiled and made him smile in return.
“True, true. I don’t know.” He sighed and ran his hand over the bed. “Have you noticed that they rotate their shifts regularly? Always coming and going when they think we are sleeping?”
Wow. I hadn’t noticed anything of the sort actually. Lost in my own world while over-thinking James, I failed to notice that. Riley was so observant and I immediately felt guilty over how consumed I’d been with my own stuff.
“I hadn’t noticed,” I said, picking some imaginary lint off the down comforter surrounding me. “Why don’t we just try to convince them to go out this morning? We can suggest eating breakfast at a restaurant or something before we head out to the castle for the day. I’m sure they’ll say yes. You heard Nick say they were bound to get lucky. That’s all it was, I’m sure. It’s not like we’re their prisoners.” I smiled reassuringly at him.
“Yeah, and I heard Caroline doubting that theory of luck.” He resigned the argument with a long sigh and added, “you’re right. Maybe being around the Dynamic Duo so long has made me more paranoid than necessary.”
I gasped in mock horror, “You’re one of them now.”
Riley laughed, hopping up from the bed and holding out his hands for me to follow. “Let’s go, milady. We can test your all-knowing theory.”
We walked out to find our three vampires talking in the living room area.
“Good morning, my two sleeping beauties,” Caroline cried out.
“Yeah, yeah,” Riley said, leaning against the back of the couch she was sitting on.
“I have a great idea!” I said excitedly. “We haven’t done very much since we’ve been here. Why don’t we go out to breakfast today?!” I looked expectantly at the group.
“I’m a little tired,” Caroline said rather too quickly after a side glance from Nick.
“Care, you’re a terrible liar,” Riley chided. “You’re worse than this one,” he said as he pointed his finger towards me.
“Hey!” I exclaimed.
“It’s a compliment,” he said, then paused and shrugged. “Kind of.”
“We have to find whatever Ingrid sent us here for,” Nick said, redirecting us. “Otherwise, we’ll be stuck in this limbo, constantly wondering what we can do next.”
James remained silent the whole time and I noticed him finally looking up to make eye contact with me. “We’ll try to get out soon. We really need to buckle down and intensify our efforts, though.”
I frowned as Riley stood up from his relaxed pose and shot me a look as if to say, “Told you so.”
“Okay,” I nodded as I turned to head back to my room. I had to get ready for whatever today would bring. Now that Riley had mentioned our lockdown, something I was blissfully unaware of, it seemed a little strange that we weren’t doing anything besides searching the castle. I wondered if something might really be going on; something that we were being deliberately kept in the dark about.
No sooner had I shut my door behind me and gotten halfway across the room when I heard a soft knock.
“Come on in,” I said, thinking Riley was coming to chide me, saying, I told you so out loud instead of just staring me with a heart-stopping, smoldering look.
“Ariya, it’s me,” James’s voice wrapped around me and the door to my room squeaked open.
“Hey,” I replied immediately, letting my thoughts wander back to last night and our brief encounter in the castle.
Silence fell upon us, but James entered my room and made his way towards me. He stood in front of me, searching my face for something and I felt I had to break the silence.
“Do you need something? Are we going back for the day soon? I aske
d, busying myself by tidying my room and avoiding his penetrating eyes. He was only trying to make sure I was okay. He’s just doing his job, I reminded myself.
“The palace is closed to visitors today because of the ball this evening. We’ll go back tonight, though. Caroline said she already told you.”
“Yes,” I said, feeling lighter at the prospect of an entertaining evening for once. I smiled at him genuinely.
His smile was temporary and his features clouded up again. “Ariya, what happened last night won't ever happen again. I know you need more space and I apologize for giving you the wrong impression or making you uncomfortable. It was my mistake."
My face burned from embarrassment, “I wasn’t uncomfortable.”
“Well, regardless, it was wrong of me.” James walked over, closing the distance between us from across the room. I took a step back, hitting the edge of my bed, which quickly caused me to sit. James grabbed a chair and set it down beside me, while I sat perched on the too-big-for-one-person bed.
“No, no, it wasn’t. James, I…” I tried to muster my courage again and just come clean, laying my cards out on the table, but before I could continue, James spoke.
"Ariya, you've had that same look on your face since I came back. It happens every time we're alone."
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, again, trying to to find the words I needed to start the conversation in which I could apologize.
"No, It's okay. You look like you have some horrible news to tell me whenever we get together. And I think that means you've made some sort of a final choice. I think you know that we can’t be together. I am proud of you; you're choosing duty over me and I should do the same as well. You're being strong for both of us, and since I've seen how upset you are about telling me, I've had to start thinking whether I can handle that. And I realized I can, which took me by surprise. I don't want you to worry about admitting your true feelings to me now. I feel better about it, honestly. I'll still protect you, always, and be here for you in any way I can. Perhaps someday, we can even become friends without any of the tension we feel right now."
My heart stopped. His words took my breath away, but in the worst way possible. What did he mean whether he can handle it? He just had me pressed up against a wall at the palace a few hours ago! What was that about then? A moment of weakness! That's what he called it before he backed off. I was stunned into silence, unable to wrap my head around how ridiculous he had become. How could he think that I would choose my "duty" over him?
"Ariya?" he asked, reaching his hand out to touch mine.
I pulled away, fearing what his touch could do to me, just me clearly now, since he was apparently over me. I was hurting more now than if I had actually told him my true feelings and he retreated from me. I tried to think of something clever to say to him, but couldn't. I was breaking up inside all over again, knowing that he was moving on, putting even more distance between us and already thinking rationally about us being just friends! I stood up from the bed, nodding, and barely managing to swallow the huge lump that was forming in my throat.
"Ariya, what's wrong?" James grabbed my arm and I looked into his perfect eyes as my anger kicked in. Anger was better than wallowing in the pit of despair I seemed headed towards. Anger kept my tears and true sadness at bay.
"You know nothing about my fears. I'm going out for a walk." I jerked away and headed to Nick and Caroline's room. I had to get away or I think I could have suffocated.
"I don't understand." James bolted in front of me, blocking the exit to the master suite.
"Leave me alone please! I’m going to spend some time with Caroline." I was proud of myself for holding back the flood of tears that quickly filled behind my eyes. He blinked at me in shock and took a step back.
I knocked on Caroline's door and she opened it less than a second later. I knew she heard me coming.
"Can we go out?" I asked softly.
Caroline nodded, needing no further explanation than the expression on my face, but Nick looked up from the chair he was reading in, somewhat concerned when he said, “Care, it’s only nine o’clock in the morning, do you think…”
“She needs to rest, Caroline,” James said, mirroring Nick’s critical tone as he saw us walking out the door.
“What she needs is a break, James. We make them rest all the time. All they’ve done is rest. They aren’t children.” Caroline’s voice was firm and unyielding as we broke past the boys’ uneasy glares.
I made it into the elevator before bursting into tears. Her arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly. She didn't ask what was wrong, she just held me, letting me take all the time I needed to form words.
I had lost James. I waited too long to say anything and now, he was over me.
The elevator dinged, signaling our arrival to the lobby and I stood up from Caroline's hug, wiping my eyes. We walked out of the hotel, not heading anywhere in particular.
"James thinks I've chosen my duty over our relationship. I was about to tell him I was sorry and that I still loved him, but before I could get it out, he went off on a tangent. He said he knew I'd already made my choice and he was fine with it! He said he was surprised how fine he felt about it and even suggested we could become friends! He said he was okay and… he wasn't even upset about it!" Caroline walked beside me, letting me finish. "It's really over now," I said tearing up again.
"Ariya, he's an idiot. He's not fine with it, trust me," she finally said.
"No, you weren't there. He is. He wasn't upset or angry, he just talked to me evenly and very matter of factly.” I whispered the last part and Caroline stopped walking.
"If you believe that, you're more foolish than he is."
For the first time, Caroline was wrong about James and me. She hadn't been there or heard our conversation. He chose to go on without me. It was painful. I never thought I’d hurt so much over a stupid man.
"I need a drink," I said.
"You don't have to ask me twice, even if it is only nine in the morning." She smiled, mocking Nick’s prior concerned voice and turned, pulling me back to the hotel lobby. “We need to let loose!”
"Here?" I whined. I was remembering Riley’s comments about being trapped in here.
"Yes, I'm not carrying you across Germany when you pass out. And from your ranting and tears, that’s the only direction you’re headed," she said as she grinned at me.
The only response I had to that was laughter. It felt so good to laugh.
“Thank you,” I said when my giggling fit subsided.
Three hours later, I was seeing double. Caroline advised me to stop if I wanted to be coherent for the ball that evening.
"Care, I don't think I've been this drunk in… well, ever," I giggled.
"I know you haven’t. Except the first night we went out during our freshman year. I corrupted you big time. Riley was not pleased with me that night; he had to help get your butt into bed and take care of you the rest of the night." I laughed at her again, remembering the comedic adventure. I stopped laughing when I recalled the terrible hangover I had to deal with the morning after though.
"Can we get some water, please?" she asked the bartender, as if reading my mind.
He nodded at us, making eye contact with me. He was young, and despite my hazy vision, I think he was also sort of attractive. He gave us our water and smiled at me when he set it down. Caroline nudged me, encouraging me to flirt and have fun.
I tried my hardest not to slur. "Thank you," I smiled.
"Can I get you anything else?" he said, smirking at me. He wasn't bad to look at, not at all now that he was closer.
"Maybe one more drink?" I glanced from the bartender to Care, who was trying unsuccessfully to repress her smile, no doubt owing to my horrible attempts at flirting. "What do you suggest?"
"That depends; is there a particular reason you're trying to drink me out of all the alcohol in my bar this fine morning?" he questioned playfully. "If I had to guess, I'd say some jerk just brok
e your heart? Or you lost a job? A beloved pet died?" He continued rattling off all the valid reasons to be drinking like we were.
"The first one, you got it right on the first guess," I said, attempting to pout in a sexy way.
"Lucky me then. I'll make you something special." He turned and started mixing various items together.
Placing a dark pink drink in front of me, he casually leaned up against the counter, putting his head in his hands. "Want to tell me about this jerk? My shift ends in an hour."
I knew Caroline wouldn't let me go anywhere with a random stranger, but what did it hurt to flirt a little longer? I wasn't doing anything dangerous. I leaned in closer and smiled, sipping the water he placed in front of me before sampling the magical, new drink. I didn't actually think I could stomach anymore alcohol at the moment.
He saw me warily eyeing the concoction he made. “If it makes you feel any better, this is my special cure for over-drinking. It practically eliminates the hangover you’re heading towards and there isn’t any alcohol in it. Just vitamins and juices; it’ll make you feel better.”
“That was nice of you.” I sipped the drink, which was surprisingly refreshing.
“I would hate to finally talk to the pretty girl who sat at my bar all morning without her being lucid,” he chuckled, removing some of the empty glasses from in front of Caroline and me.
I sat grinning at him. “Pretty girl, huh?”
I’m sure that I did not sound or look as charming as I felt. But the vodka, rum, tequila, and whatever else we had consumed prior to that assured me I was hot, and that everything I said was utterly captivating.
He leaned on his elbow again and opened his mouth, as if to say something, right before I noticed his eyes widening exceptionally large in his head. Before I could react, I was suddenly picked up and taken off the barstool. I searched for Caroline’s eyes and found them, but she wasn't reacting as if it were a bad thing for me to be manhandled.
"Hey!" I shouted. When my body was finally set back down, I realized my assailant was James.
Sacrificed Page 3
