by Taryn Quinn
I didn’t mention what had distracted me, and thankfully, my best friend didn’t ask.
Ivy touched the material and let out a wistful sigh. “She’ll love it. I sent over a wine-o-gram a few days ago.” She picked up my bottle and checked the label. “Classy. She’ll love this too.”
Turned out I loved it even more, since shortly after we arrived at Vee’s, I started hitting the stuff hard.
I wasn’t a budding alcoholic. In the past year, I’d only gotten lit on New Year’s Eve after the wedding and tonight, but those two times had made up for all my alcohol-free evenings.
I blamed Vee’s babies. No children should’ve been that cute. Never mind the twins, Theodore and Elijah, who had super fine blond hair and angelic expressions that only vanished when Vee made the mistake of removing one too early from the milk bar. She wasn’t shy about nursing, and why should she be with this crowd? Macy was a mama-to-be, although she wasn’t showing yet. Rylee and her sister Kelsey were both moms, along with Ivy of course. Ally Hamilton and her BFF and sister-in-law Sage were too.
Gina and I were the only singletons present, and she championed the nope, never, not into babies group.
Where did that leave me? On social media, you could put down single and looking. When it came to parenting, saying you were considering options sounded weird. It probably wasn’t as strange in a town like Crescent Cove where hormones hung in the air like fog, but still.
So I drank.
I was two glasses in when the appetizer tray was served. Three glasses in when Macy suggested we play pin the penis on the action movie star until Rylee reminded her anything could be used as retribution at her upcoming baby shower.
“Why do you need to pin it on some random movie dude when you already have a fine man who hands out condoms?” I tacked on a breezy laugh when silence descended on the living room.
Murphy, the lone male in attendance, became very interested in the taco dip.
“He did what now?”
I waved a hand and studied my wine glass. I was pretty sure it had a leak. Hadn’t I just refilled it? No matter. I tossed the rest back and smiled. “Oh, nothing. So are you sure you have a real baby in there? You are still as flat as a pancake.”
Macy’s brows knitted together as she glanced at Ivy. “Are you driving her home? Not thinking she should be behind a wheel.”
“I’m perfectly fine. No slurred words. Do you think I’m a lightweight? I mean, I get why John didn’t need the condom. It makes sense he’d give it to August.”
Even as the words exited my mouth, I knew I was digging deeper. But I couldn’t find it in me to care. Why should I be ashamed we’d had sex? Everyone else did right and left. I mean, I didn’t want Ivy to know—
Ivy was shoving in tortilla chips at the speed of light and looking anywhere but at me.
“What condom are you talking about?” Macy glanced at Rylee.
“Not a clue, man.”
“The night of the wedding. It wasn’t a gag one, was it? Because totally not funny. People use those and stuff happens. Or…doesn’t happen.”
Macy grabbed the bottle of wine. I suspected she wanted to keep it out of my reach, which probably wasn’t a bad idea. “I do not have one clue what you’re going on about. John handing out condoms makes zero sense to me, but he’s male and they do odd stuff. Sorry, Moose.”
He just held up a hand and kept on eating, much like Ivy.
Was robotic snacking an avoidance technique? I probably should’ve investigated that instead of trying to drown in vino.
“It’s not like I actually saw the exchange. August told me about it after.”
Rylee sucked taco dip off her thumb. “Why did August talk with you about getting his latex from John anyway?”
Oh, shit. Now what did I say to that?
Ten
I tried to get my disordered thoughts in line.
August and his condom.
Me putting it on him.
His hiss of breath as I made sure it was seated just right.
Don’t want any swimmers sneaking out.
Except now I wished they had. Just one. So I wouldn’t have nearly wept while I took the tests that were supposed to give me my freedom back.
Yay, still not a parent. Yay, I can keep living my wild and free life.
Yay, no babies for you, Kinleigh. Good luck next time.
If there was a next time.
As the silence stretched out, Sage nudged Ally. “Did he need help getting it on?”
Oh, if she only knew.
Ally shook her head. “Don’t mind her. Her ovaries are being flooded with all these baby distress signals.”
Apparently, Sage wasn’t the only one.
Sage snorted. “We’re working on it. Besides, Kinleigh is the one who’s on the hot seat right now. Maybe she’s an expert in condom application. What say you, Kinleigh?”
I opened my mouth and fumbled about for an answer. Before I could, help came from an unexpected place.
“He has a latex allergy.” Ivy’s voice was matter-of-fact.
Macy cocked a brow. “Well, that’s gotta suck.”
“Not so much in Crescent Cove.” Kelsey grinned. “He’s probably the most popular dude on his block.”
Everyone laughed, including me. But my mind was whirling.
“I’m sure he was commiserating about how much it sucks.” Ivy gave me a pointed look. “I’m sure they had a good laugh.”
Not so much.
August definitely hadn’t mentioned an allergy. Dear goddess, had August ended up with a painful rash or something after our night?
I shifted toward Ivy to ask about such a development. She didn’t give me the chance. Instead, she yanked out her phone and held it up. “Gotta check on Rhi.”
“Um, okay.”
While she texted up a storm, the awkward as heck conversation moved on. Murphy went off to check on their older son Brayden when he woke up crying, but it turned out he only wanted his mother. Somehow I ended up with an armful of Theodore and he proceeded to stare at me owlishly like Rhiannon tended to do.
He was so warm and soft and snuggly in his fleece onesie with moose climbing all over it. I started to laugh as I got the reference to his father, startling him out of his almost snooze, and he let out a wail.
Yet again the party ground to a halt.
Go, Kinleigh.
Vee came back to take Theodore, but eventually, Elijah landed in my arms. He was blissfully asleep, so I could rock him and whisper whatever popped into my wine-addled head without him being offended. By then, I’d had a fourth glass and was feeling no pain.
Other than over the fact that my best friend was spending more time with her phone than talking to me, but who could blame her? She had a precious little girl at home, and I was a fully grown adult, capable of making an ass of myself without anyone’s help.
At least Vee loved the scarf and wanted me to find her half a dozen more in different colors. I agreed, because anything seemed reasonable right then.
Including texting August while Ivy got our coats from the front hall closet.
You have a rash? I hope it didn’t hurt.
After I sent it, I frowned. That wasn’t how I should’ve worded that. A little tact, jeez.
Does it still hurt now? Sorry, didn’t know it made your *eggplant emoji* sore.
I was rather proud I’d used the eggplant emoji rather than some sophomoric term for a penis. Ivy and I referred to them in all manner of ways that didn’t work for a text with August.
“All set?” Ivy asked brightly as she held out my coat. Too brightly actually.
Did she know something?
I let her help me on with my coat, although I was the taller one. But my addled brain was on overdrive.
August wouldn’t have told her. Unless maybe he’d had an allergic emergency and he had no choice? No man would want to be caught with his pants down, literally.
I yanked my coat into place and whirled to f
ace her. “Did August talk to you?”
Ivy whipped her hair out from the collar of her coat. “He does often, since he’s my brother. As does Caleb, for the same reason. Caleb not as much because he’s on the 3 P patrol.”
I tried to chill out as I grabbed my purse. “Oh, some school thing?” August and Ivy’s brother taught at the local elementary school.
“Um, no. Try parties, Pabst, and pussy.”
“Hey now.” Sage sidled up to Ivy, her blond brows raised to her hairline. “Is that any talk for a lady? And if not, let’s be friends.” She giggled and slipped her arm through Ivy’s. “We’ve already bonded through our shared enjoyment of torturing Rory. Did you know they made their very first love nest in my bed and breakfast?” They shared a secret grin.
I did know the story of how Ivy and Rory had hooked up a few times at Sage’s inn, but right now, I was feeling left out on about sixteen different levels. I would’ve sworn there was some private baby mama society I hadn’t been invited to and would probably never be granted access.
You aren’t drinking again. Ever.
As if she could read my thoughts, Sage reached out to rub my coat sleeve. “You’re okay to get home? Ivy’s driving you?”
“Yeah.”
I didn’t even argue. But I did after Ivy’s next statement.
“She’s also going to stay the night.”
“What? No. I can’t. My apartment has—”
Nothing. Not even a plant, although I had a couple in the shop. Why didn’t I have any plants at home? I needed some.
“Your apartment will be just fine overnight.”
“Patches!” I exclaimed as if my shop cat required tending.
She liked her solitary lifestyle during the hours the store was closed. The few times I’d tried to corral her into coming home with me had ended with me sporting an interesting collection of war wounds. I was as isolated as the cat, if not by choice in my case. At least not entirely.
Ivy rolled over that as if I hadn’t spoken. “Just for one night, Kin. You can stay in the guest bedroom.”
“The one next to your bedroom? Where you sleep?”
As inane as the question was, Ivy seemed strangely nonplussed. “Usually, yes, bedrooms are for sleeping. Unless you’re worried about privacy.”
“What? Me? Why would I need privacy? I’m alone. Hello.”
Sage cleared her throat. “I’m just going to go,” she gestured vaguely, “somewhere. See you both soon.” She gave Ivy a quick squeeze.
“Do you want to say goodbye to Vee?” Ivy craned her neck. “Not sure where she disappeared to.”
“I shouldn’t be away from home. I can’t sleep near where you and Rory are, in case you need sex.”
Yet again, Ivy disregarded my protests.
I couldn’t even blame her. I sounded like a drunken drowning woman.
Who was freaking the heck out at being in my nightie with just a few walls between me and August. And with boundaries lowered by alcohol. Again.
Although in all fairness, the wine hadn’t done much except make me looser. It didn’t make me want August any more than I already did. I’d wanted him long before we slept together.
No wine goggles here. More like I saw everything so much clearer when I didn’t let my concerns run the show. As I did almost always.
Except for that one incredible night…
“You go ahead,” I mumbled as Ivy waited for my response. “Say goodbye to Vee for me too, please.”
“You sure?” She was already moving away.
“Yeah, thanks.” I tucked my hands in my pockets and moved to the door to wait for her.
The buzz from my phone made me jump and I had to laugh at myself. That much wine and I was still as jumpy as a cat.
Then again, who could blame me at the prospect of being so close to August and not being able to do anything about it?
I mean, I could, but if he had this latex thing and I wasn’t on the pill…
No. I could not. That was a recipe for danger.
A danger I might have wanted to lean into, just a little bit. Especially when I tugged out my phone and read his text.
You been into your cups? Need me to come rescue you from too much girl talk?
And a wink.
A wink from August sent my mind straight into the gutter.
Ivy reappeared and I quickly pocketed my phone. “Is ‘into your cups’ a Rory saying?”
“A variation of that, yes. Why?”
Rory’s Irish-isms rubbing off on August despite himself made me smile. I tucked my hair behind my ears and shook my head. “Just curious. Is Vee okay with us leaving?”
“Since everyone else is also going and Vee and Murphy are slow dancing in the kitchen to Frank Sinatra, I think they’re very okay with it.” Ivy grinned.
I grinned back even as sadness crept into my chest and my belly and everywhere in between. I was lonely. More than that, I was…yearning.
For August. Merely for sex, of course.
Lots and lots of sex.
Trying to play it cool, I waited until we were back in my truck to ask the question lingering in my mind. Ivy was complaining—loudly—about not being able to drive a stick while I snickered and made jokes about finding out if her husband agreed.
She flipped me the middle finger and managed to make it out of Vee’s driveway without leaving my engine on the blacktop. Narrowly.
“Did August tell you about his latex issues?” I asked finally.
“Better question is, did he tell you?”
She accelerated and I looked behind us to see if I was missing a muffler on the street. “I’m thinking I’m still better off driving. Or Uber?”
“Or we could call Rory. Or better yet, August. What about August, huh? Then you can get the straight skinny on all his thoughts on latex and proper usage and such. Unless you already contacted him. C’mon, you know you did.”
My face started burning to match the fingers I was currently twisting in my lap. Who needed gloves? Embarrassment clearly created warmth.
“I have no need for such information.”
“No? Seems like you might, since he decided to chat condoms with you at the wedding. That’s what you did, right? Talk?”
Among other things.
“How did you forget how to drive a stick?”
“Oh, you never forget. Comes right back as soon as you climb on the…horse.” She shot me a blazing grin with her jaunty pompom knit hat askew.
“I just bet. Your dad taught you on that old truck of his. Didn’t August inherit it for a while?”
“He sure did.”
“Whatever happened to it? I’m surprised August didn’t pass it to Caleb and then to you.”
“Oh, he passed it to Caleb, all right, and then it had to be fumigated after he went to the lookout point in it one dozen times too many.” She wrinkled her nose and lurched around a corner, making me brace myself in case we suddenly became airborne.
I nearly asked about August’s history with the old truck before I bit my lip to stifle myself. Then he picked that moment to follow-up on the text I had not yet answered.
I ignored it, staring straight ahead as my phone buzzed in my pocket.
“Aren’t you going to answer my brother?”
“What? Huh? Why?”
“You texted him to ask about the latex allergy, right? I mean, why else would he be texting you, except to answer your question?” A pregnant pause filled the truck. “Can’t think of any other reason, can you?”
I frowned. Was Ivy baiting me? Did she know something? Probably just my guilty conscience kicking into gear.
“No, of course not. But how do you know that’s August?”
“He’s texted you before when I was with you and had my phone off, remember? That’s the tone you said you gave him.”
No. I didn’t remember much right now. Except that I should’ve stuck to water.
At least the text buzzing stopped.
“We’
re actually doing a…project.” There, that sounded nice and tidy.
One where my legs hook over my ears.
“Oh, yeah, like what? And why didn’t you tell me about it, you hussy?” She smacked my thigh, and I guess my guilt decided to hop in the driver’s seat and steer us off a cliff.
“Well, I have to do something with my time now that you have a husband and a baby.” Somehow those words sounded like a vile accusation. Which was so not my intention.
Or was it?
More like I was lonely and out of sorts and on the edge of drunk. Unfortunately, I’d skipped the happy, excitable part and shot right into confusion and woe.
Seemed like an accurate depiction of my life at the moment.
Without warning, Ivy swerved to the side of the road. At first, I thought she’d tried to avoid a cat, but nope, she did it intentionally. She shifted toward me on the seat, her face serious. “Are we okay?”
“Um, yes?”
“You don’t sound sure.”
“Of course we’re okay. Why wouldn’t we be? You know I’m happy for you. I love you. I just…”
“What?”
“I just miss you,” I whispered, feeling about three inches tall.
Her eyes welled up. “I miss you too. I didn’t plan on the baby or the husband.”
“I know.” And now I was full-blown sniffling, like a complete fool.
“It was all unplanned. But you’re still my favorite. You’re still my sister.”
I undid my seatbelt and lurched across the seat to hug it out. “I am. We are. You’re my favorite too.”
“And sisters tell each other everything.”
I stopped sniffling and patting her back and probably did crazy eyes that she thankfully could not see because her head was on my shoulder.
“Right. So does having a baby make you more horny?”
Ivy’s head reared up so fast, it was a miracle she didn’t bang it against the roof. She frowned and yanked her coat into place before sliding back into her seat. “If you are referring to last week, Rory had been gone for a while. We needed to reconnect.”
“Yeah, I know, I know. I get that.”
