by Taryn Quinn
Her lips trembled. “Why?”
“Why?” I repeated dumbly.
“Yes, why? I’ve been so scared of losing everything that all I’ve done is push you away. I set up this baby goal thing because, I think, I wanted to have you in a safe way.” A soft hitching laugh escaped. “Well, and I did—do—want a baby too. But if I had one, deep down I wanted it to be yours.”
If she’d pledged undying devotion to me, I couldn’t have been more floored.
She brushed tentative fingers through my hair. “You’re easy to lo—care about,” she added, thereby deflating my momentary joy.
Not entirely, since she’d just admitted to wanting my baby. But she was Kinleigh, so she always had a pin at the ready.
This pin was that she couldn’t say the word love. I wasn’t even convinced she didn’t feel it for me. Saying it was harder. I got that. I’d wait.
I’d wait forever if I had to.
“Why do I love you?” I picked up her hand and kissed her fingertips, one by one. “Because you can turn a pair of worn-out jeans into a masterpiece.”
“Huh?”
I had to laugh. “You have a vision. An eye for seeing how to remake the broken into something new. Something special. You have a way of unearthing all the hidden nooks and crannies that were overlooked. Someone else might see a pile of junk. To you, it’s a treasure.”
She curled into me, laying her head on my shoulder. I only gripped her hand harder.
“Even though you’re so good at finding beauty, you’ve never seen what Ivy and I do when we look at you. What so many people in this town do. You don’t see your wit or your kind heart or your wicked sense of humor, when you relax enough to laugh. You don’t see that I’d be willing to wait forever for you to realize you love me, because I know there will never be anything better than being one of Kinleigh’s treasures.”
She made a sound caught between a laugh and sob, and my chest ached as if she’d pummeled it with both fists.
“Oh, August. Don’t worry, I brushed my teeth,” she added before she pressed her lips to mine.
Arousal and need and longing swam into me in equal measure. On top of them all was love.
I cupped her head, taking her mouth in a kiss that was deep and sweet, long and slow. The kind of kisses we hadn’t had nearly enough of.
That was going to change.
Dimly, I heard Kinleigh’s door opening and a flurry of footsteps a second before my sister’s delighted laughter. “Yay, I got here just in time to see the credits-worthy kiss.”
I eased back and rubbed my fingertips underneath Kinleigh’s eyes. She was still crying silently. I hoped they were mostly happy tears now, but I just didn’t know. “No, we’re not to the credits yet. We still have a test to take.”
Kinleigh laced her fingers with mine as she held out her other hand for Ivy, who rushed over to take it. “And I have a story to tell you.” She bit her lip, glancing between us in turn. “Both of you.”
Twenty-Three
I wasn’t sure if it was nerves jumping in my belly or if it was the remnants of a soda and stale coffee cake. Though I’d have to assume all of that was out of my system at this point.
Baby.
I was really pregnant.
Goddess, all this time?
I let go of Ivy and her brother and with shaking fingers, I quickly did up the buttons on my shirt and zipped up August’s hoodie. I didn’t want to own up to how many nights I’d fallen asleep with the soft cotton wrapped around me like a security blanket.
I turned toward Ivy. “Is Rhiannon okay?” I’d meant to ask before, but it had been pure chaos.
“Rory won’t put her down, so they’re both sleeping in the rocker.” She curled her fingers around my hand again. “Now stop stalling.”
I gripped hers back. “Yeah, okay.” I swallowed tightly and glanced at August, who slung his arm around my shoulders and tucked me closer. Immediately, his warmth seeped into my bones. It wouldn’t make the telling any easier, but there was nothing but trust in this room and I wouldn’t waste it.
“It’s not like it’s a long drawn-out story.”
“It doesn’t matter, we just want to hear it.” Ivy laced our fingers tightly.
“I was a foster kid for a while. My mom—if you want to call her that—wasn’t exactly the most loving woman. Most of the time, she left me alone or just ignored me. Those were the good times.”
“Oh, Kin.”
“There are far worse stories out there. She never hurt me. Not physically. She was just not there. I’m not sure why she even had me, to be honest. Then finally, she got tired of me.” I looked down at the folds of my skirt. The echoing click of her heels was the last thing I remembered. Not her voice, not her perfume, not even her face.
“Anyway, she left me with a priest in Syracuse. He was kind to me. Gave me my first peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I’ll never forget how lovely he was. After, I bounced around between a few foster homes.”
“How old were you?”
August’s deep voice brought me back. “Thirteen, I think. My birthday wasn’t really a thing. Just another day. In those years, everything sort of blurred together.”
“Piece of crap.”
I tightened my fingers around Ivy’s. “She was just…a void. I didn’t look back on it. I just tried to do things on my own. I found a way around the system. I started sewing the hand-me-down clothes I got from the other foster kids. At first, I did alterations so they fit, then I made a few bucks because I used the material to make other things. Hair ties, book covers—whatever I could to make a few dollars so I could buy more and make more.”
“And Kinleigh’s Trunk was born,” Ivy said between sniffles.
I patted her hand. “Yeah, thank the goddess for free apps. The more business I did, the more things I could buy at the Salvation Army or swap meets. I made friends where I could, couch-surfed and then met some art students in college. They didn’t care how old I was. All they cared about was how quick I was with a needle. I helped with costume alterations and mending in exchange for crashing in a spare room. I didn’t care where.” I ignored Ivy’s gasp and how August stiffened behind me. “Eventually, I saved enough for a shitty apartment, and I got my GED so I could get a job.”
August rubbed his thumb along the back of my neck in soothing circles.
“Oh, Kin.” Ivy’s voice cracked. “I can’t believe I didn’t ask you more questions.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t want you to. It’s easier to be the hardworking girl with her own business than to see those pitying looks when people find out I’m a foster kid.”
“But I’m not just anyone. And I don’t care. I mean, I care.” Ivy swiped away tears. “But it doesn’t matter where you came from. You’re just my sister, my bestie, my person. Well, Rory is my person too now, but you’ll always be the first.”
I leaned forward and hugged her. “That day you came to my trunk party was the first time I’d ever felt like I met someone who mattered. Then you gave me a family. Annie loves me more than any dream mom I could ever make up.”
“She does love you. We all do.”
“It was just easier starting over. When I saw that window in my building, I knew it had to be mine.” I turned to August and cupped his face. “And you were the annoying older brother who was so bossy. When we both wanted a storefront—well, it was just perfect. I could have everything I ever wanted.”
He caught my wrist and brought the palm of my hand up to his lips. “You were everything I ever wanted. I was just too blind to see it at first.”
“I’m really good at making people not notice me.”
“Oh, I noticed.” He hauled me in close. “I always noticed.”
I laughed into his neck. “Liar.”
“I’m not supposed to look at my sister’s friends. It’s just asking for drama, but I always noticed, Kin.”
I sniffed and tipped my head back. “I hate crying.”
Ivy giggled an
d threw herself into our little circle. “I hate it too, but now I get a sister for real. Not that it wasn’t—”
I hugged her back. “I get it.”
“But you see why I was so scared, right?” I tucked my chin on Ivy’s shoulder. “I just have a really bad track record with guys.”
“I’m not some guy,” August said gruffly.
“No, you’re way worse. You’re Ivy’s and I couldn’t hope for you to be mine too.”
He hauled me back onto his lap. “I am yours though. I am.”
“I know.” I hung onto him because as much as it scared me, I wanted it to be true. So very much. Hope was terrifying, but there was a little bit of it growing inside of me—I just knew it. And my little baby would be so blessed to be a part of this family.
“Ugh, you guys are the cutest. Disgusting, but the cutest.”
August laughed. “Thanks, Ive.”
“Now I need to go home to my baby, but not before you take that test.”
Nerves crept up my shoulders. “I—”
August pressed a kiss to my temple. “It’s time, Kinleigh.”
“I don’t have to pee.”
“You always have to pee,” Ivy said and crossed her arms.
Okay, that was a fact. I guessed that would be even more fun when the baby started bouncing on my bladder.
I slid off August’s lap, tucking my fingers into the cuffs of his sweatshirt.
“Is that mine?”
From the sly way he asked, I was pretty sure he knew the answer. But August being August, he always had to tease me.
I kind of loved it.
“It used to be,” I said and headed toward the bathroom.
I pulled down the test I’d tucked behind my tampons and Q-tips. I was pretty sure I’d only need one of those things for the next few months. “Now don’t show me up in there.” I patted my belly. “I know you’re in there and you need to make those pink lines show this time.”
“Are you talking to yourself in there?”
I jumped at August’s question. “Why are you being a creeper?”
“Do you want me to be in there with you?”
“I think there should still be a few mysteries in our relationship, Becks.”
“Okay. Yeah, sorry. I’ll be right out here.”
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I read the box for the hundredth time—just in case. I did my business and wiped down my sink before setting the little white wand down on a pile of toilet paper.
I washed my hands and opened the door. August’s large shoulders blocked the doorway.
“Is it positive?”
“It takes a few minutes.”
“Right.” He curled his arm around my waist. “So I can kiss you then?”
“Your sister—ummf.” He lifted me onto my toes and that was that. I had to admit, it was a better way to spend three minutes and some change than pacing.
When he finally put me back on my feet, I was a little wobbly for more than one reason this time.
He pushed me aside and went for the wand, but I already knew it was positive. That certainty was a warm glow inside me. I smiled at Ivy down the hallway as he let out a whoop.
I wondered what Luna would say my aura was like right now. I’d go with a joyful, contented pink. Or maybe a rainbow. Was that possible?
August lifted me up to swing me around and we crashed into Ivy, who was crying and hopping up and down. The best kind of insanity.
It felt so much better than the worry and the fear that had dominated the night. First with my niece and then facing all the things I never wanted to let into my present.
The past would always be mine, but it was much easier to deal with now that it was out in the open.
With the happy news shared and too many tears shed to count, we finally managed to get Ivy to go home to her husband and baby.
Afterward, August took me into the shower and we washed away the hospital funk, the last of the pain stagnating between us, and all the bad memories.
Then we tumbled into bed together. There was no need to hide anymore.
I couldn’t have been more grateful.
He curled in behind me, sliding a heavy arm over my middle. He slipped his palm over my still mostly flat belly. “You need a bigger bed.”
I laughed into the dark. “I think I know a guy.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“Kin?”
“Hmm?”
“I think we should tell our parents about this little ladybug tomorrow.”
My eyes stung again. Ladybug. Goddess, I didn’t deserve this man. Then the rest of what he’d said sunk in. “Our parents?”
He pressed a kiss to my neck. “Now more than ever.”
“Do you think they’ll be happy?” I whispered.
“I think we’re going to make their year.”
“Are you happy?”
He pulled me in tighter. “You and this ladybug are everything I ever wanted.”
The silence stretched and his breathing evened out behind me.
“I love you, August.”
There, that wasn’t so hard. Maybe next time I’d even be able to say it when he was conscious.
Twenty-Four
It took a little longer to get my mother on board with a family dinner. I could have blurted out our surprise—and almost had about four times, but I wanted to actually make things special.
And if the scent of brownies down the hall was any indication, so did Kinleigh. I was pretty sure that was one of the few things she knew how to cook.
“Becks!”
I smiled as I pulled the small bookcase out of my closet where I’d tucked it away a few days ago. It was nice to hear that name again. The easy Kinleigh used to call me that all the time. The one who didn’t get all squirrelly and weird about secrets and feelings.
Emotions between us were still a little hit or miss. A lifetime of holding herself back wouldn’t be cured just because I’d said, “I love you”. Especially since we were still so new.
But I was a patient man. I could spend three days sanding a bookcase.
I smoothed my hand down the case in point.
Not to mention the carving. I tucked my thumb into the new bit I’d just done. A lot of people used 3D printers to make logos these days, but there was nothing quite as satisfying as carving into wood.
Well, maybe Kinleigh riding me with all that fiery hair bouncing around her shoulders. That was a damn fine way to start my day.
Her voice got closer. “You better be getting ready in there. We have to leave in an hour.”
“That’s a whole hour,” I called over my shoulder.
“I don’t want to be late.” She flipped a sky-blue towel over her shoulder. “Oh, what’s that? And haven’t we talked about woodworking in the bedroom?”
I turned to her, sliding my hands around her waist. “It’s a special little addition.”
She peered around me, but I blocked her. She tilted her head up at me. “What are you hiding?”
“I’ve had this idea knocking around for a little bit.” I stroked my thumb over her middle. “About the same time we had the first little scare.”
“Which ended up being a valid one.”
The fact that we were pretty much through the first trimester already was a little terrifying, but I was doing my best to not freak out every minute of every day. “Well, I’ve been working on a little something. Originally, I was going to put it into the shop and see how it went, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to show it to anyone.” I pulled her farther into the room and let her see the bookcase.
“Oh, August.” She went right to the newest carving. Her fingers shook as she traced the ladybug.
“I was thinking of doing a line of kids’ furniture. Ladybug Treasures.”
She squatted down in front of the bookcase and smoothed her hand over the wood before bringing her fist to her mouth.
“This one is kinda perfect for under the window. It can hold
baby stuff on the shelves, some books, that kind of thing. I even thought about doing a converter changing table for the top—oof.”
She launched herself at me. I laughed and held her tight as she sniffled into my shoulder.
“It’s so beautiful.” She pulled back and went back to the ladybug part of the logo. “For our bug?”
“Even before I knew she was a thing.”
“We don’t know it’s a girl yet.”
No, we didn’t know officially, but I was sure. As surely as Kinleigh had known she was pregnant, I knew we were going to be having a little girl. Even if for our first sonogram, she’d been too shy to show us her gender right away. We could do bloodwork things to test it, but Kin wanted to be surprised.
At least until she couldn’t take it anymore.
“So I’m guessing you like it.”
“I love it. And now we don’t even have to barter anymore. I did finish those pillows for you, by the way.”
“I’m still open to favors—especially naked ones.”
She rolled her eyes. “Making baby furniture in this town is a solid business plan.”
I snorted. My creative lady was far more business-minded than people would assume. “Ya think?”
She gave me a narrow-eyed look, but she couldn’t stop smiling. “Honestly, it’s a wonderful idea.”
“I’d love for you to help me with it. We work well together, Kin. And we could find ways to repurpose stuff you find to suit people who maybe don’t want traditional baby furniture.”
“Now you’re going to make me cry.” She dabbed at her eyes. “I told you we would make the best furniture together.”
“So you did.”
She went on her toes and kissed me. “I love it. Goddess, I have so many ideas running through my head. Do you know how many ugly bookcases I could make shine with baby stuff? With sweet, baby blankets tacked up along the back to hide ugly particle board. Not everyone can afford your beautiful pieces.”
I tugged her back toward the bed and sat down. “No, but that’s what makes us a perfect team. We cover everyone.” I lifted her oversized garden party of a shirt. Just how many flowers could you jam into a pattern? I kissed her belly. “And we have you to thank for all this inspiration, my little ladybug.”
