by Elise Faber
Except he was.
And it was fucking incredible.
She was broken and stitched up and probably concussed, and Haley’s kiss was still the best of his life.
He tore his lips from hers. “I’m—”
She clamped a hand over his mouth, and considering it still held the teddy bear he’d bought her, Sam basically ate fur.
But her words had him forgetting that fact.
“You are not allowed to fucking apologize,” she growled.
His fingers rose to extract the bear from Haley’s grip—and his mouth. He set it on the counter, then removed a few stray hairs from the corners of his lips. The fuzzy stuffed toy might have been cute, but it definitely wasn’t edible.
“Not allowed?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “I’ve been dreaming about kissing you for—”
Horror crept into her expression, and this time she clamped a hand over her own mouth rather than his.
He bent slightly, locked his gaze onto hers. “For what?”
“No,” she said. “I’m not doing this.” Haley pushed herself backward, the wheels of the scooter skittering against the hardwood floor as she rounded the corner of the kitchen island and attempted to escape back down the hall.
Nope. No way. No how.
But though she had wheels, he was faster . . . and had two working legs.
He slipped in front of her.
“Not a word, Sam,” she snapped. “I took a pain pill, and I’m a lightweight, and that means I’m going to start blabbering about how I’ve dreamed about kissing you since I was thirteen, and that it was even better in real life than in my dreams.”
Silence. His. Of the stunned variety. As in, he had been stunned into muteness because . . . she’d liked him for more than a decade?
“Haley,” he began.
She’d pressed her hands over her mouth again, cheeks bright pink, tears flooding those beautiful blue eyes, but in response to her name, she just shook her head.
“Sweetheart,” he said, gentler.
Her lids slid closed.
“A decade?”
Another shake.
“Since Maggie?”
She swallowed hard.
He took a step toward her, reaching for her, wanting to haul her close and hold her until she realized that she had nothing to be embarrassed about, that childhood crushes weren’t a big deal. But the moment his fingers brushed her shoulder, Sam watched her eyes flash open, saw them fill with agony.
Because he was there. Because he was pushing this.
Hadn’t he already done enough to her?
So, he stopped himself, forced his hands to drop back down to his sides. “I’ll finish with the groceries,” he said and turned back toward the kitchen, leaving Haley alone in the hall.
It was the absolute last thing he wanted to do.
But Sam did it anyway.
Forcing himself to walk away instead of fighting for what he wanted . . . well, that had become his specialty over the years.
Really, in the grand scheme of things, what was one more time?
Sam didn’t know why he was still in Haley’s kitchen.
He’d stashed the groceries, wiped the counters, straightened the bookcase, even alphabetized her now-antique DVD collection.
And she’d stayed in her bedroom.
All signs pointed for him to get the fuck out and yet . . . he couldn’t.
She’d tasted like mint toothpaste, smelled like roses, felt like the softest silk . . . but sensations aside, he couldn’t stop thinking about her revelation. Haley had liked him for years.
How? Why?
Perhaps more importantly, how hadn’t he known?
Sure, they’d hung out a fair amount during his time with Maggie, but he’d never glimpsed one iota of a schoolgirl’s crush from Haley. She’d been confident, self-assured and very busy with her own life.
To say his mind was blown would be the mother of all understatements.
Then he wondered if Maggie had known.
Hmm.
And why would it matter if she did? If Maggie had mentioned Haley’s feelings to him, it wouldn’t have changed anything, only served to make things uncomfortable for both him and Haley.
Maggie didn’t like to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Which had ultimately led to the demise of their relationship.
Sighing, he strode to the notepad in the kitchen, intending to leave Haley a note. He would go and check on her car, make sure it had been towed to the body shop as promised the previous night, maybe they could have a look at his door, and—
Crash.
Sam took off running before he’d even fully processed the noise.
He raced down the hall, into the bedroom, and found it empty. Spinning, he pushed open the door to the bathroom.
Haley was sprawled across the tile, and she was—
He averted his eyes.
Because she was naked.
She shrieked when she saw he’d come in. “Don’t—Sam!” He’d dropped his eyes, just to confirm that she was, indeed, naked. And she was. So gloriously, sexily, beautifully naked that his cock twitched. Swallowing, he forced himself to focus, reaching for a towel and covering up the pertinent bits, even though he’d really been enjoying his view.
“What happened?”
Haley dropped her chin to her chest. “What do you think happened?”
“I think you were freaking out about something you didn’t need to, and so you decided to do something you weren’t ready for.” He used one finger to tip her chin back up, enough that those pretty blue eyes met his. “Didn’t you just tell me you were a lightweight with the pain pills? As a nurse, what kind of symptoms do patients have when taking these kinds of medications?”
She crossed her arms, tucking the towel more firmly across herself.
“I can tell you that my four- and two-legged friends often experience lethargy and dizziness.” He raised a brow. “Sound familiar?”
Haley sighed. “I’m fine. I literally fell from like six inches. I bent over to look for a bag in the cabinet and got lightheaded.”
He gave a quick once-over of the parts he could see and, deciding that she’d told him the truth, reached behind her to turn on the taps. “You couldn’t ask for help?”
Her bottom lip poked out. “I just wanted a bath, okay?” Another sigh. “Plus, I thought you’d gone.”
“Why would you think that?” He tested the temperature then plugged the tub.
A roll of her eyes. “Because I freaked out on you? Because I basically told you I’ve been mooning over you since middle school?”
Surprised that she’d just lay it out there after her earlier horror, he asked, “So, are we over the embarrassment now?”
“God, no,” she scoffed. “But the cat’s out of the bag now. I might as well own it.”
He tried to hold back his smile, but Haley caught it anyway. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“A man does like to be appreciated.” He winked.
“Oh, my God.”
Sam pulled open the cabinet door and surveyed the contents before holding up a plastic trash bag. “This should work.” He slipped it over the cast and used the drawstring to secure it in place.
Haley gave him a grudging nod. “Thanks.”
He stood, extended a hand. “Towel.”
“What?” Her cheeks flared. “No.”
“I’m not going to look. I’m just going to help you into the tub. The towel will be in the way.”
Narrowed lids. “So, this isn’t an excuse to see me naked?”
“I already saw you naked, remember? It’s definitely—” He’d started to waggle his brows like a dirty old man but stopped when Haley sucked in a breath. Her face paled, and her eyes shimmered . . . with tears? “An excuse to see you naked,” he finished lamely.
Um, what the hell was that?
“Oh,” she replied softly. Her throat worked, and her lips pressed f
lat. “That’s not what I thought—” Her gaze flicked to the tub. “Can you help me into the bath now?”
“Sure.” Sam kept his stare firmly on her face as she shifted the towel aside, trying to puzzle out what the hell was going through that brain of hers.
Had he said something—?
No. Brian. It had to be.
Fucking asshole.
“Sam?” she asked.
He blinked. “Right.” Carefully, he slid his arms underneath her, attempting to ignore the silkiness of her skin, the curves pressed against him. “You’re beautiful,” he told her as he maneuvered her into the water, thoroughly soaking himself in the process.
“Sam.”
His arms were still under her, his chest rubbing against hers, his sodden T-shirt the only thing separating their naked skin.
“I don’t know what that prick said to you,” he said. “But you’re gorgeous, sweetheart.”
She shook her head and whether it was in response to him calling her gorgeous or a denial of the prick’s statements, Sam didn’t know.
Life was odd sometimes.
A person could go thirty-odd years ignoring or, maybe not noticing was a more accurate description, someone, and then boom, one moment—one collision, one fucking deer—and everything shifted.
Everything changed and morphed and rotated until the person that had always been categorized in a certain way, changed.
Until that one person who’d been on the periphery became firmly planted front and center.
He’d known Haley.
He’d respected her, thought she was funny and sweet and a really cool person.
But he hadn’t wanted her, hadn’t noticed her eyes, her lips, her body.
Then wham, the pieces had come together, and he was left wondering how he could have missed her all along.
Sam tilted his head, lifting his mouth so he could whisper in her ear. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” When she opened her mouth, no doubt to deny his words, he leaned back and snapped. “No.”
Her eyes went wide.
“I know the timing was wrong before—we were teenagers and I was with Maggie. But I was an idiot to not notice how much you’d changed when you came back into town last year. Yes, your body is hot, sweetheart, but it’s what’s in here”—he tapped the spot above his heart—“that is truly beautiful.”
“I’ve seen you at the hospital with patients. I’ve seen you with your nieces and nephews and your friends.” He cupped her cheek. “On the inside, where it really matters, you’re a good person.”
She bit her lip, making him want to kiss her all over again.
But it wasn’t the right time.
“Brian was a fucking idiot to betray you.”
She blinked rapidly.
“But I think . . .” He trailed off.
“You think?” she asked softly.
“I think his loss might be my gain.”
Nine
Haley
* * *
Uh. What?
Another brush of Sam’s fingers across her jaw before he straightened and turned to leave the bathroom. “No more shenanigans,” he said, pausing on the threshold. “Holler for me when you’re done.”
And he walked out, shutting the door behind him.
“I—” She shook her head, looking around the room, half expecting the tile walls to provide her with an answer.
Sam thought she was beautiful. Inside and out.
What in the what?
It wasn’t like she thought she was an ugly or even a bad person, but she could freely admit that her confidence had taken a hit after Brian. But then again what person was cheated on and didn’t internalize the other person’s actions? What person didn’t take them as a blow to their self-worth?
Well, if she ever met another person who continued on with their life all fine and dandy and untouched by such a betrayal, then she’d be sure to ask them their secret.
Because Brian had screwed with her head.
Yes, he’d cheated, and that was bad enough.
But he’d also managed to drill down into her deep, vulnerable underbelly even before she’d discovered the affair. First, it was little comments here or there—stating how she needed to pick up another workout so she could be healthy for the wedding. Later, it became adopting a diet because her clothes didn’t fit as well as they used to. Then it was dyeing her hair because she had gray showing. Or expensive wrinkle cream because she had fine lines developing on her forehead and around her eyes.
If he’d led with wrinkle cream, she would have told him to fuck off, but Brian hadn’t. Instead, he’d slowly and persistently undermined her sense of self.
He managed to pinpoint all her insecurities—yes, she’d been twenty-five and getting gray, yes, she had laugh lines, yes, she’d put on a few pounds—and then just amplified each one by a thousand.
Add that in with the stress of working in a very busy emergency department in a very busy hospital and suddenly, she’d become a ball of nerves.
Doubting herself. Doubting her abilities.
“Ugh,” she muttered, sliding down into the tub so her shoulders were under the warm water. Her cast clanged against the cast iron, but firmly encased in her post-pain-pill glory, Haley felt no pain.
The bathroom door cracked. “Please, tell me that wasn’t your head,” Sam said.
Despite herself, she grinned. “Not my head.”
“Good.” The wood panel started to close.
“Wait.”
It paused.
“Thanks for helping me,” she said into the little black line. “For staying.”
“I’m here, Haley.” The door started moving again, sliding against the frame but just before the latch clicked shut, she heard: “However long you need me.”
Her eyes closed, and she leaned her head back against the lip. “But for how long though?” she whispered. Because sooner or later this bubble surrounding them would burst. Sam would go back to work at his clinic, she to the hospital. She’d be the little sister again, the amusing sibling of the girl he’d once almost married.
He’d go back to his world, and she’d go back to hers . . . only this time she would know exactly what it felt like to kiss him.
Sam poked his head back into the bathroom just as Haley was dozing off.
Probably a good thing because she really didn’t need to add a near-drowning to her concussion and broken leg.
Though, her head was starting to clear up.
Or maybe that was just the pain medication wearing off since her ankle had decided it needed to play an orchestra of aches and throbs and zings in concert up her leg.
“You’re hurting,” Sam said, holding up a towel and keeping his eyes locked on hers.
Not on her body. He was behaving all gentleman-like.
It was just too bad that she didn’t want him to be a gentleman.
“I’m fine,” she said, rubbing her pulsing temple.
He pulled the plug on the tub. “You’re not fine,” he said. “Besides your head, what’s hurting?”
“Is this what you do?” she muttered. “Corner naked women in bathtubs until they reveal all of their secrets?”
“Is it working?”
She took the towel when he extended it in her direction, holding it above her torso until the water drained enough for her to drape it over herself. “No.”
“Damn.”
A twitch of lips that reminded her exactly how they’d felt twitching against hers.
The man was a menace.
Also. Concussion. That was why she was losing her mind. It was the only explanation for why her body had decided that despite the stitches and broken bones, she wanted him.
“What just went through your head?” he asked.
Yeah, no. Nice try. That was a fun fact she definitely wasn’t sharing.
Snorting, Haley let him help her up to sitting. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“I would,” he re
plied, wrapping the towel more securely around her upper body. “Hence, the reason I asked.”
He bent close and slid his arms around her and—fuck—but she liked that.
Except . . . she couldn’t like that.
“So?” he asked, pausing there, somehow both too close and not close enough.
“So what?” She played dumb.
He snorted, brushed a lock of hair off her cheek. “What went through your brain?”
A sigh. “Nothing,” she muttered, closing her eyes. Exhaustion pulled at her, making her mind fuzzy, her thoughts spinning around her brain like snow flurries.
Sam pressed his lips to her forehead, making her lids fly open.
His eyes were on hers, his mouth oh so close. She wanted it against hers again, she wanted to see if the second touch of his lips could top the first. But why had he stayed? Was it guilt because she’d been hurt, or could it maybe be . . . attraction?
Ha. His sweet sentiments aside, that wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities.
And so, she doubled down. “Nothing went through my head.”
“Lie,” he said. “But I’m not going to pressure a concussed woman any further.”
Despite the kiss—because clearly, that was due to adrenaline at having successfully avoided a patented Mrs. Donovan tirade or guilt or hell, maybe he was mildly concussed—because she knew that Sam couldn’t be attracted to her.
First, he was way out of her league.
Second, she’d admitted to a long-held crush, which was pretty much a ten-out-of-ten on the How Pathetic and/or Crazy Is She scale?
Third, and probably most important, he’d broken Maggie’s heart.
Her sister was the one person in her life who’d always been there for her, and Sam had hurt her. It didn’t matter that things between them seemed okay now. The end of their relationship had destroyed Maggie, and even putting aside the fact that Sam could just as easily do the same to her, Haley knew she could never be with someone who’d so thoroughly wounded her sister.
Nope. Not going to happen.
Even if he was an excellent kisser.
Really, that was not the point.
Sam wrapped his arms tighter around her and tugged her against his chest. Her heart fluttered, and she started to protest. “I can—”
