Tainted Light (Codex Blair Book 7)

by Izzy Shows

  They looked from me to the bodies of their fallen comrades and then back, wariness reflected in their eyes.

  “I’ll give you one opportunity to stand down,” I said. “You have someone I love in there, and I’m not leaving without her.”

  Determination crossed their faces. I had expected nothing less. They owed their lives and loyalty to the nephilim who commanded here and to the Fallen who ruled this circle. They weren’t going to back down to one woman.

  Too bad for them.

  They swarmed me as one. The stink of their bodies filled my nose, and I readied myself.

  I couldn’t take ten on at once, so I focused on only a few of them, taking the blow from the others. I zeroed in on the two biggest and pointed my ice wand at them while throwing my other hand—the one with the chain—to the side to try and hold the others at bay.

  They dodged the ice, agiler than someone of their size had a right to. The other demons howled in frustration when I unleashed the wind contained in the chain.

  A blow to my shoulder sent me flying backward. My ass smacked down on the hard ground, eliciting a snarl of pain and frustration from me. I didn’t drop my wand, though, and kept the bolts of ice flying.

  The bloodlust rose in me. The adrenaline of combat pumped through my veins, and the feeling of being alive took hold. I couldn’t contain the vicious grin that swept over my lips and was pleased to see the discomforted looks passing between the demons.

  They didn’t know me. They didn’t realize this was my bread and butter, just an average day for me. I took out three of them with ice, but four more took their places. A fifth asshole snatched me off the ground and pinned me to his chest.

  A hand fisted my hair and yanked my head to the side. Memories of fighting vampires surged forward. This was a classic vampire hold, an attempt to get at your throat.

  “Glacio!” I snarled. My shoulders and back sprouted sharp spikes of ice into the demon holding me.

  He dropped me with a howl of pain. I whirled around to face him.

  “Vis!” I plunged my hand into his massive chest and found the twisted heart that pumped black ichor through his veins. Without ceremony, I yanked it free. I held it for a moment, letting him see it just before he died, then dropped it to the ground.

  I turned to face the other demons left standing. They stared with shock and horror on their faces.

  “I lied. You’ll get one more opportunity to walk away.” I smirked. “I’d advise you to take it.”

  Uncertainty decorated their features. They could either die at my hand or their masters. Disloyalty would not be excused. It was just a matter of which death would be the least painful.

  They scattered past me and through the gates, apparently deciding to take their chances with the barren desert of the realm rather than face their master or me.

  I shrugged. It didn’t matter if they lived or died. Getting Emily out was all I cared about.

  I holstered my wand and stalked into the fortress. I was surprised the antechamber wasn’t teaming with more demons. Surely those men hadn’t been the only ones present? Where were the others?

  It didn’t sit well with me, but I didn’t have time to figure it out. I methodically went from one room to the next, doing my best to make as little noise as I could. If there were present, it would be faster to avoid any other demons than waste time fighting.

  A cluster of demons came down the hallway. I darted into a shadowed alcove, making myself as small as possible, and held my breath.

  No sounds. They might pass you by.

  An argument of some sort consumed their attention. Thankfully, they didn’t spare me so much as a glance as they walked by. Idiots. Whoever ruled this fortress was not going to be happy I’d broken in and took one of their captives.

  If she was still here.

  My gut clenched.

  I’ll get her out of here, one way or another. Even if I can’t find her here, I’ll save, and he’ll find Emily.

  If a nephilim had taken Emily away, undoubtedly a Fallen as powerful as Malphas would be able to return her. And he wouldn’t deny me, would he?

  He owed me.

  I found Emily on the third floor. She still wore her armor, and her sword was strapped to her back. I let out a sigh of relief.

  “Thank the gods, I found you.” I rushed to her and laid a hand on her shoulder to turn her around.

  Her face was blank, then her brow furrowed as if she’d only just recognized me.

  “You shouldn’t be here, Blair. Malphas needs you.”

  “Well, I need you. I’m taking you out of here.”

  “No! I want to stay. Please just let me stay. Blair, don’t do this.” Her eyes welled with tears that pierced my heart like knives. I gripped her upper arm tightly and refused to let go when she tried to pull away. I dragged her out of the room. It was hard. She fought every step of the way. I had to activate the strength cuff just to keep hold of her.

  I had to do this, even if she would hate me in the end.

  Chapter 21

  The walk out of the fortress and across the realm was the hardest of my life. Emily twisted and yanked, trying to get out of my hold. I wouldn’t let her go. I refused to give up my precious burden.

  I hated doing this to her. I didn’t understand how she could even think this was what she wanted.

  What the fuck had gotten into her?

  The farther we got from the stronghold, the weaker her struggles. I’d been right. The demon’s hold on her weakened as we put distance between him and us. At least, that’s what I told myself was happening. The alternative that she indeed had chosen to give up her sword was unbearable.

  The sky darkened. I found one of the more massive dead trees that looked like a good enough place to camp beside. We hadn’t been able to cover as much ground as usual with Emily fighting me the whole time. I pulled her down, so we were kneeling on the ground and facing each other.

  “We’re camping for the night. Am I going to have to tie you to this tree, or can I trust you not to run?” I glared at her, giving her no choice but to acknowledge how upset I was.

  She dropped her gaze, defeated. “That won’t be necessary. I’ll stay.”

  “Look me in the eye when you say that. I’m not taking any chances. I will tie you down if I have to.”

  She raised her eyes to look at me. “I’ll stay, Blair. For you.”

  “Thank you.” I tensed as I let go of her arm, fully prepared for her to take off like a rocket. Sleep would be impossible tonight.

  Fatigue set in. There was another trial waiting for us tomorrow. I hated the idea of dragging her through another one. Which one of us would fuck it all up next?

  “What the hell was that back there?” I pulled my sleeping bag out. “All that talk yesterday about not making deals with demons, and then you go off and make one. What happened?”

  Her shoulders slumped. “I was weak. That’s the only excuse I have, and it’s not even a good one. I’m just so tired of the fight, Blair. I don’t want to fight every day for the rest of my life. It’s constant. There’s no such thing as a break in this line of duty, and it’s wearing me down.”

  “Why haven’t you said anything?”

  She barked out a harsh, empty laugh. “To you? You’re the epitome of the eternal fight. You’ll go on until the day you die, never wavering, always ready to take on another enemy, and another, and another. You never tire of it. How could I possibly tell you I wanted a break from it all?”

  “I don’t…I don’t understand.” I bit my lip.

  “Life with you means always waiting for the next battle.”

  I flinched. That hurt.

  “But you knew that already,” I said.

  “Yes, I did. I saw it in the way you fought at Tyburn Tree. You didn’t have to take up the battle after. You could have let it go after what happened with Aidan. No one asked you to do it, but you did it anyway. It’s just the kind of person you are. It’s not a bad thing. Please, don
’t think it is.”

  “But it bothers you.”

  “No, it doesn’t bother me that you want to fight. Not at all. I’ve just been fighting for such a long time. It feels like I’ve been doing this for centuries, even though it’s only been years. The demon was right. All the pain I’ve seen has worn my soul. I’m just tired of it. But…” She let out a sound close to a laugh, but it was so empty and short it couldn’t be one. “There’s no such thing as retirement for one of the Seven.”

  But she wished there was. She wanted she could walk away from the fight forever—the demon had almost convinced her to take his offer. This was how she had felt for a while now. He had only sensed her weariness and preyed on it.

  “Emily…” My voice broke. “Would you be happier without me?

  She shook her head fiercely and reached to take my hand. “No. I love you with all of my heart. You wouldn’t be you if you gave up on the fight. It’s just in your nature to want it. And I don’t want you to be any other way than you are.”

  Tears burned in my eyes, and I blinked to chase them away. I wasn’t sure I believed her. They were pretty words, but did she mean them?

  “What happens now?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You can’t keep going like this indefinitely, not feeling the way you do.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t have any other options. As I said, there’s no retirement for the Seven. I can only hope God has given me these feelings for a reason, and he will provide a way for me to endure.”

  Not for the first time, I wished I had her. It had to be a comfort to trust someone was watching over everything with a plan, and who looked out for her. At that moment, I felt alone in the universe. There was no one out there I could trust to take care of things.

  It was all on me to keep fighting the good fight. I only hoped I was doing the right thing and everything would work out in the end.

  “Don’t hide this from me anymore,” I said. “Tell me even if there isn’t anything I can do. Lean on me.”

  She gave me a tired smiled. “All right. I don’t feel this way all the time. I genuinely care about the people I protect, and I wouldn’t walk away and let something bad happen to them. I swore to be there for them, and I will. It’s just that sometimes I wish I could have a normal life.”

  I pulled her close and held her.

  Chapter 22

  “If you want to go back, I’d understand,” I said, breaking the silence. We’d been standing in front of the next border for a full five minutes, not making a move to cross it. My hands shook at my sides. I couldn’t bring myself to step over yet.

  Emily looked at me with a start. “What?”

  “You don’t have to do this with me if you don’t want to.” I avoided making eye contact. “It’s just another battle I’ve pulled you into.”

  “No, just no. I’m abandoning you.” Her voice was firm and determined. It didn’t waver, and there was no sign she was at odds with the words she spoke. But still, I doubted her.

  “I don’t want you to do this out of some messed up obligation. I can handle it on my own.”

  “It’s not just doing this for you. Although, of course, that’s a big part of it.” She sighed. “Something is wrong with the angel. As one of the Seven, it is my duty to ensure they are either returned to their proper state or…”

  She let her words trail off, but the implication was clear. I hadn’t thought the angel would be something she’d feel responsible for. It made sense. Her job was to protect the Innocent from harm—all harm. If an angel had gone off the rails, there was no saying they would stop after finishing with Malphas.

  I didn’t know why the angel wasn’t considered Fallen now. Maybe they hadn’t sinned yet? I supposed torturing a demon didn’t quite count. They were far from innocent.

  “I just wanted to give you the option.”

  “I appreciate it, but I’m seeing this through.” She offered me a small smile. “I’m with you every step of the way.”

  My lips quirked to the side. “Let’s do this.”

  She nodded, and we stepped across.

  No dreamscape greeted us. I searched around, confused. Maybe we wouldn’t have to go through a trial here? Hope flared in my chest.

  A bolt of energy burst from the sky and speared into my chest. I gasped and clutched a hand to my breast, afraid it was a mortal wound.

  But there was no wound. There was just—oh, gods, what was growing inside me?

  I turned to Emily, and my vision went red. Anger overtook my heart.

  Fight. Hunt. Kill.

  The need was intense. Rage filled me as I remembered everything Emily had said and done while we’d been here. She was trying to sabotage the mission. She didn’t care about Malphas, and she wanted to keep me from him.

  I had to stop her.

  With a roar, I thrust a hand out. “Incendium!”

  Fire rushed through my veins, scorching my insides, then burst from my hand toward her. At this range, I couldn’t miss.

  But I’d underestimated the power of her sword. She had it out in both hands faster than I could track and cut clean through the fire. It flew around her like a gale wind instead of through.

  Her eyes narrowed as they zeroed in on me. Her lips twisted into a snarl, and she rushed at me.

  The sword cut down in a wide arc, aimed right for my legs.

  “Vis!” Calling upon the strength tattoo on my ankle, I kicked off the ground and soared out of the sword’s reach before it could cut clean through my bones. Diving back toward her, I activated the strength cuff and slammed my fist into the armor protecting her chest.

  She hit the ground so hard she blew a hole in it. Her form lay still in the crater with no sign of movement or sign of life. I grinned viciously, stalking closer to the crater.

  I had to get rid of her so I could finish the mission.

  I entered the crater and stood over her. She surged to her feet; she’d only been playing dead. Her hand closed around my throat, and her fist slammed into the side of my head.

  I saw stars. Her fingers tightened around my throat, cutting off air flow. I clawed her hand, but she held on like a rabid animal and rained blows on my head, shoulders, and gut.

  “Incendium,” I croaked. Fire exploded from every inch of my body and burned her hands. She let go with a loud shriek and covered her face with her forearms. Her armor must have been enchanted because it deflected the fire far too quickly for my liking.

  Time to get rid of it. There had to be some weakness I could exploit to destroy it.

  Destroy her. There was no other option. Inflicting damage wasn’t good enough. Nothing I threw at her would keep her down short of death.

  While she was still on the defensive from the fire, I flew to my feet and slammed my fists, empowered by the cuff on my wrist, into her armor.

  Without the enhancement, I would have broken my bones against it. Instead, I was slowly chipping away at it. It wouldn’t be long before I got through.

  I would rip her heart out. A vicious snarl decorated my face at the thought of pulling her still-beating heart from her chest. She didn’t deserve an easy death, not after manipulating me.

  It would be drawn out and painful. I had the time to spare. After I got rid of her, it would be easy to make my way across the rest of hell. She wouldn’t slow me down at every border. I’d fly through them with ease.

  She was the reason I hadn’t made it to Malphas yet. She was deliberately making things take longer, overreacting to the trials so I would be forced to spare time to comfort her.

  Hadn’t she done just that with the last one? She’d wasted so much of my time forcing me to go after her and drag her along when we should have been going as fast as possible to this border.

  She wanted to keep me away from him long enough for the angel to finish the job. She wanted him to die. I should have seen it sooner.

  My next blow to her cheek seemed to do something to her. There was a flash
in her eyes, and it was like something had snapped inside of her. A clarity appeared on her face that I couldn’t make sense of.

  “Blair, stop!” She cried caught my fist when I threw another punch. “Something’s wrong. You have to snap out of it so we can get out of here.”

  An animalistic sound tore through my throat. Of course, she would say that. She knew she was losing and was looking for any way to get out of this.

  She caught my next punch in her other hand and held on tight.

  Why wasn’t she fighting back?

  She shoved forward but didn’t take the opportunity to do any damage. I fought to keep my advantage, but she pushed me back inch by inch.

  Damn it. I couldn’t lose! Not now, not when everything was on the line.

  With a grim look, she pulled her head back and slammed it into mine.

  Everything went black.

  Chapter 23

  Gods above and below, my head ached. It was dark, and I couldn’t remember anything more than who I was. Where the fuck was I, and why did I hurt so gods damned much?

  Slowly, the memories came back.

  Fuck. That last trial.

  I forced my eyes to crack open a bit. The dim light of evening was so painfully bright I almost shut them again. Couldn’t close them, though, I had to make sure Emily was all right.

  She leaned over me, worry on her battered face. I winced, knowing it was me who’d put them there.

  Guilt assailed me. I was the worst kind of asshole. I’d beaten her. How was I any better than the foster families who’d done the same to me? How could she stand to look at me with concern?

  “Are you all right?” She smoothed her hand over my hair and caressed my cheek. The contact hurt, but I forced myself not to let it show. I didn’t deserve any sympathy after what I’d done.

  “I’m sorry,” I said—or rather, croaked. My voice sounded rough.

  Faintly, I remembered her hand crushing my vocal cords and driving the air from me. It didn’t excuse my behavior, though.