by Izzy Shows
I growled. “Maybe later when I’m not under so much stress.”
“That time will never come,” she said, lifting an eyebrow. I didn’t know how she made simple gestures and expressions look so elegant. She exuded grace and beauty from every pore, carrying herself like a queen no matter where she was. Even now, just sitting on the stone bench, she looked exquisite. Her long, blond hair fell in waves down her back. She wore a white, Grecian-style gown with gold accents.
“So, everyone keeps telling me.” I waved my hand dismissively. Only then did what she’d said before sink in. “Wait, did you just offer me a cigarette?”
Her eyes sparkled. “I did, in fact. I can conjure one right here. I even already know your favored brand.”
My eyes narrowed. “Would it follow the same rules as eating food in hell? If I take it, will I be stuck here?”
She shook her head. “It only holds true for that which is born in hell. If a cambien or a nephilim offered to conjure something for you that you would then consume, that would confine you to hell for some time. But if one of the Fallen, or I, did, it would not.”
“Then, hell yeah. I’d love a cigarette.”
She snapped her fingers and held out her hand, palm up. A pack of cigarettes and a lighter appeared. I grinned.
“You are so awesome.” I pulled a cigarette out and quickly lit it. My eyes closed at the first rush of nicotine. “I love you so much right now.”
She laughed. “I’m glad I could be of assistance.”
“You have no idea how nice this is,” I said. “I’ve been dying for one for days.”
“Mmm, I can imagine. Getting through hell is no easy task.”
My eyes darkened. “And it was all for nothing.”
She quirked her head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“I came because I thought Malphas was in trouble. He showed up in my living room a few days ago, claiming to be dying. So, I set off for hell immediately, but when I show up, he’s fucking fine. Not only that, he wanted to kick me out before I even had a chance to catch my breath.”
“Oh, Blair…” She sighed. “He only wants you to be safe.”
“Bullshit. I can take care of myself. I think I’ve proved that a few times over now.”
“Against most creatures, yes. But the Fallen are another thing entirely. I wouldn’t want you to face them, personally.”
I took another hit and thought about it. That was the nice thing about smoking. It provided a built-in way to get a moment to think before sticking your foot in your mouth.
“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” My temper rose, though I fought to keep it down. “I thought we were friends. You could’ve reached out and asked for my help.”
She visibly saddened. “It happened so quickly. I almost didn’t have enough time to get to him myself. And after, he made it clear in no uncertain terms I was to keep silent. Even before that, he hadn’t wanted me talking to you about him. And it wasn’t my place. The two of you needed to talk it out yourselves.”
We’d visited each other several times during the past two years, but neither of us had brought up Malphas. Part of it had been because it hurt too much. But apparently, she’d had her reasons, also. I chafed at the fact that Malphas had forbidden the topic. It was like he was dictating my life without me even knowing about it.
“I tried to visit after everything happened, just to make sure you were okay. And because I intended to defy his rule. He needed your help in recovering. But you weren’t home, and your phone went straight to voicemail.”
“Yeah, no cell reception in hell,” I muttered. I felt a little better knowing she’d tried to reach me after. “What do you mean recovering? From what?”
Her eyes shuttered as if she’d closed off part of herself. “That’s a conversation to have with Malphas. It’s his story, not mine.”
“But you were coming to tell me anyway.”
She shook her head. “I was going to ask you to see him. Call him to visit you, or show up at his apartment when he was on Earth. Anything to get the two of you in a room together. He’s hurting, Blair, and you’re the only one who can help him through it. I can’t say more.”
I shifted, uncomfortable, and took another hit of my cigarette. “He isn’t exactly looking for my help. He pretty much tried to exile me right away.”
“Is he the type to ask?” Her lips tilted up to one side. “He’s a proud man, and he keeps you at arm’s length for a reason.”
“I can’t help if he won’t ask. I don’t even know if I want,” I said, but that was a lie. I couldn’t explain the connection between us, or why it remained after removing the mark, but it was impossible to deny its existence.
“I don’t believe that,” she said. “You care for him. I know you. You like to push people away. You’ve tried to do it to me how many times now? But I won’t let you. And underneath that hard exterior, where you try to protect your heart so others can’t hurt you, you’re a kind and compassionate woman. You can’t see someone hurting and not do something about it.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “Maybe not. It doesn’t matter. He wouldn’t accept my help anyway.”
“He might if you pushed him. Just don’t give up on him, and don’t let him get away with holding back from you.”
“Why do you think I can help him, anyway?”
She got a sort of sad, nostalgic look in her eyes. “Because he listens to you, above anyone else.”
I sighed. “I still don’t think it’ll work. Maybe he listened to me before, but he sure isn’t listening now. He won’t tell me what’s going on. I asked about the angel when I saw him, and he told me to leave it alone.”
“Of course, he did. He doesn’t want to uncover those wounds, but you can’t let him bury it. He needs to talk about it—to you—or he’s never going to recover.”
It killed me not knowing what hurt he needed to recover from.
I didn’t want him to suffer any misery. I’d need to drag the truth out of him, right after I figured out how exactly to do that.
“All right, I’ll try,” I said. “That’s all I can promise. And I don’t know when I’ll be able to with this whole war thing going on.”
She nodded. “Just as long as you’ll try. I’m sure you’ll get through to him.”
I grunted and took another drag on my cigarette.
“What’s been going on with you?” I asked, changing the topic. “I haven’t seen you in months.”
Her eyes sparkled. “Well, there was a situation I can tell you about. Some of the demons here were tainted like I was.”
“Holy shit. Why didn’t you come to me about that? I would have helped.”
“Malphas wouldn’t let me. He was determined to fix it on his own, and he did!” Her eyes practically glowed now. “And you’re never going to guess how.”
“Well, I’m going to assume he did the same spell I had…”
“Yes, yes, but do you know what the spell requires? No one had to tell you because you’re mortal. Of course, it worked.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The spell requires empathy, requires you to feel.”
“But Malphas is a demon…he can’t feel.”
“Exactly.” She laughed. “But he did the spell, which means he’s capable of feeling emotions. But I knew that already. He’s been feeling quite a bit for quite a while, thanks to you. And now he knows.”
“Huh.” I chewed on my lip. “Interesting. Emily thinks he’s capable of feeling, too. I worried it might mean he was tainted, but she doesn’t think so.”
“I’d be able to tell if that were the case. I can see the taint in souls. He’s not tainted, but he’s feeling.”
“Well, it’s reassuring that he isn’t tainted,” I said. “But I don’t understand the implications with him feeling.”
“You will.” Her eyes sparkled, but she didn’t say anything further. “Enough about that, though. Tell me what’s been going on in your life
lately.”
“Not too much out of the ordinary. Fight, hunt, train with Diego, the usual,” I said, shrugging. “Emily and I finally made things official.”
“Oh, that’s great! I’m so happy for you. She seems like such a nice person.” She bit her lip, almost shyly.
“I think if the two of you weren’t such extreme ends of the spectrum, you’d probably be best friends,” I said with a chuckle.
“Exactly what I was thinking. It’s a pity our natures repel each other so much. She does seem nice.”
“She’s amazing. I still can’t believe she picked me out of all the people in the world.”
“I can.” She beamed at me. “You’re quite amazing yourself.”
“Thanks, but I don’t know about all that,” I said, with a nervous laugh. “I’m all right.”
“Hm. If it makes you feel better to believe that.” She shrugged. “That isn’t how the rest of the world sees you, though.”
“I’m a pretty normal nobody at the end of the day.”
“Oh, darling.” She pressed a hand to her heart. “You are so much more. You’ll see, one day. I can’t wait for that.”
Her words seemed to imply something I couldn’t quite grasp, but I left it alone for the moment and just enjoyed catching up with Lilith. She was one of my best friends, and I enjoyed spending time with her.
But there was a shadow at the back of my mind for the rest of the evening.
What was really going on with Malphas?
Chapter 31
My patience wore out less than halfway through the next day. I couldn’t stand staying in the room another second. Screw Malphas’ rules. He didn’t control what I could or couldn’t do. I waited until Emily was taking a nap. If she found out I was leaving, she would insist on tagging along. I didn’t want any demons seeing her and getting the wrong idea. It was dangerous for a paladin to be in hell, and I didn’t want to start a fight when it wasn’t necessary.
Although, I might be asking for a fight by leaving my room. It was worth the danger, though. Risking Emily was one thing. Risking myself wasn’t near as important.
I wandered the hallways of the palace—more than just a little lost—searching for Malphas. I wanted to ask him what he was planning on doing about the war at his doorstep. He needed to know I had his back no matter what, and he didn’t have to do this alone.
He has his brothers. You shouldn’t get involved.
Whether or not his brothers were involved didn’t matter. I had promised Lilith I’d try to help him, and reminding him I’d always be there for him would be a step forward.
Anxiety twisted my insides. There was a real danger he’d refuse and push me away again. But making myself vulnerable to him after the numerous rejections were something I had to risk to keep my word to Lilith. I had to follow through. It wasn’t optional.
The demons avoided making eye contact with me as they hurried past, apparently afraid of what Malphas would do if they assisted me while breaking his rules.
I wandered for a good hour before snagging the arm of a passing demon. “Hey, do you know where Malphas is?
He kept his eyes lowered, an act of submission. “My lord is not to be disturbed.”
“He’ll make an exception for me.”
“No one may see my lord without an appointment, madam. I am terribly sorry.”
“As I said, he’ll make an exception. Where is his office? I need to see him.”
The demon appeared to be debating in his head which option would end worse.
“Didn’t you get the memo from Malphas about giving me whatever I asked for?”
He winced. “Yes, madam. He did say as much.”
“So, tell me.”
He sighed wearily. “He’s in one of the main conference rooms on the third floor. First hall off the main corridor and third door on the right.”
I smiled “That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”
“My lord will have my head,” he muttered. “Please, do not tell him it was me..”
“It’d be hard to do that without your name.” I winked at him. “Don’t worry. I won’t get you into trouble.”
“Thank you, madam.”
I circled and climbed the main set of stairs to the third floor and found what I hoped was the right door.
I hesitated. Should I knock? He might not let me in. Well, if he didn’t answer, I would just enter anyway.
I rapped my knuckles three times against the hard wooden door. I waited impatiently, tapping my foot on the ground. I’d give him a minute before charging in. I didn’t want to start this conversation on the wrong foot.
At long last, the door opened, but it wasn’t Malphas who answered. A man with the same golden eyes as Malphas and the same raven black hair greeted me, a puzzled look on his face. He wore a loose, white shirt that would have looked more at home in the 15th century.
“Well, well, well. Who are you?” His teeth flashed when he gave me a predatory grin. “Normally, I would have your head for interrupting, but you are very…” He inhaled deeply. “Interesting. And mortal. Could you be the mortal?”
“Valefor, who are you talking to?” Malphas’ asked from deeper in the room. “Get rid of them, and come back here already.”
“No, I’d rather let her in.” He winked. “You are here for Malphas, aren’t you?”
I lifted my chin, faking the confidence I didn’t feel. “Yeah, so please move. It’ll be faster than trying to get rid of me.
A harsh curse sounded from inside. Valefor stepped to the side and ushered me in. I strode in as if I had every right to be in the room.
It looked much the same as any boardroom. Malphas sat at the head of the table surrounded by four men, all with similar colorings and such as Malphas. There were two empty chairs left.
I stopped from gulping. His brothers. I had walked right into what Malphas had been trying to prevent.
“What the fuck, Blair.” Malphas glared daggers at me. If looks could smite.
I resisted the urge to fidget. I’d never seen him this pissed before, even when he’d tossed me aside had he been this upset.
“Oh, this is Blair?” One of his brothers perked up, his eyes locking on mine. “I have been dying to meet you.”
From the right mouth, those words would have been welcoming. I didn’t feel very welcomed.
“Marchosias,” the man seated on the left of Malphas said, grimaced. “Leave it alone.”
“I most certainly will not. Malphas has been hiding her for quite some time now. I’m going to enjoy this.” The way he said enjoy sounded like he was two seconds from laying me on the table and cutting me open.
“Shut up both of you,” Malphas commanded through clenched teeth, still riveted on me. I couldn’t look away from his burning gold eyes. “All you had to do was stay in your room, and you couldn’t even accomplish that.”
My strength returned, as did my desire to be defiant. “I’m not a child to be locked in her room,” I snapped. “Don’t think you can order me around like an underling.”
Valefor turned to look at Malphas, both eyebrows raised. He clucked his tongue. “You allow her to address you in this manner? The fuck is going on with you?”
A low rumble filled the room from Malphas. An actual growl, like an animal. His brothers visibly paled seeming to rethink the wisdom of their previous actions.
“Brothers, this is Blair. She is the mortal I marked several years ago. She’s been under my protection until recently. Blair, this is Valefor, Marchosias, Asmodeus, and Bael, my brothers.”
Everyone except for Asmodeus burst out in laughter.
“So, this is the female you were hiding,” Marchosias said. “I can see why. She is quite delectable but needs her tongue cut out.”
Before I could respond, Asmodeus swatted him on the arm.
“Don’t give him so much grief. We should respect his decision. He'd kept her hidden because he didn’t trust we’d behave around her. Let’s not prove him right.
Valefor and Bael rolled their eyes and made dismissive sounds.
“I do as I please,” Bael said. “And it pleases me to take her. We share our playthings, don’t we? Oh, the fun I would have with this little mortal.”
He winked, acting like I should be flattered. I glared at him.
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here. I’m not some possession to be traded around. You’d do well to remember that.”
He gaped at me and then chortled. “Such fire. I will enjoy breaking you.”
“I will not share her,” Malphas snarled.
“I am not yours to share!”
The nerve he had to talk about me like this. Back when we had tried to find Lilith and gone to a party with other demons, we’d had acted as if I belonged to him.. I’d played along with him then, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it here.
Probably because it wouldn’t do me any good.
“We’ve always shared. It’s the way things are done.” Bael glared at Malphas. “You don’t have any right to keep her from us.”
Malphas stood sand braced his hands on the table, his eyes feral as he stared down Bael. “You will not touch so much as a hair on her head, or I will rip your throat out.”
Bael faltered, clearly not expecting the threat.
“She’s a mortal. She doesn’t matter,” he said.
“She matters to me.”
“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” I snapped, hands on my hips. “You don’t get to decide who gets a piece of me.” I pointed at Bael. “I’m not shagging you if that’s what you’re after. Forget about it.”
“There are many more things I can do than fuck you.” He smirked. I got the feeling these things weren’t something I would enjoy.
“You will not touch her!” Malphas slammed his fists down on the table so hard it splintered.
Bael met Malphas’ eyes, a determined look in his before he looked at me. “I challenge you to the Battle of the Souls.”
“No!” Malphas snarled.
“It’s my right,” Bael said. “If she wins, I won’t touch her. If she loses…””
“This is not the time or place for this,” Asmodeus said, his tone placating. He was trying to get control of the situation. “We need to deal with Zepar, not quibble over who gets to do what.”
