My
One
Regret
By:
Brooke St. James
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the author.
Copyright © 2016
Brooke St. James
All rights reserved.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue 6
Other titles available from Brooke St. James:
Another Shot:
A Modern-Day Ruth and Boaz Story
When Lightning Strikes
Something of a Storm (All in Good Time #1)
Someone Someday (All in Good Time #2)
Finally My Forever (Meant for Me #1)
Finally My Heart's Desire (Meant for Me #2)
Finally My Happy Ending (Meant for Me #3)
Shot by Cupid's Arrow
Dreams of Us
Meet Me in Myrtle Beach (Hunt Family #1)
Kiss Me in Carolina (Hunt Family #2)
California's Calling (Hunt Family #3)
Back to the Beach (Hunt Family #4)
It's About Time (Hunt Family #5
Loved Bayou (Martin Family #1)
Dear California (Martin Family #2)
Chapter 1
Ryan Collins
Ryan saw her standing there the second he came around the corner. Wynn Martin—the girl who had owned his heart for the last three years. Try as he might, he couldn't shake himself free of her. A thousand times he tried to forget about her, and a thousand times, he failed.
She was everything he wanted—a singer and a poet, with a beautiful heart to match her beautiful face. Her singing voice called to him. She called to him. Something about her literally spoke to him, like he could faintly hear her telling him not to lose hope.
Why would Ryan lose hope, you might ask. The answer is that Wynn Martin, while being a very close friend to Ryan, did not seem to realize the potential for their relationship to become romantic. This was the predicament in which Ryan found himself. It had been this way since they met three years earlier.
Tonight, however, something would change. Tonight, Ryan would know for sure where he stood with Wynn. He wasn't leaving without having that conversation with her.
Ryan grew up close to New Orleans, so he had heard of the Martin family and their nationwide chain of sporting goods stores, but he didn't meet Wynn until they were at college in Lafayette. He was a senior, and she was a freshman at the time. He was majoring in History, and she majored in Music, so they may have never crossed paths if he hadn't taken an interest in playing the drums.
History was Ryan's passion, but he always imagined himself playing the drums in a band just for fun. He didn't give it a shot until he left home for college, but he had already been practicing for a few years by the time he answered the ad Wynn placed looking for a drummer.
Ryan got the gig, and had been a part of Wynn and the Basics for the past three years. They were an alternative rock band, featuring Wynn's breathy, soulful voice. Claire was Wynn's long-time best friend and back-up singer. She played keyboards and sang harmonies. Hudson was the bassist, and Charlie played guitar. Wynn wrote most of the songs, though, and the act essentially revolved around her voice and personality. She was the source of the creative process, and the others were basically (pun intended) there to help her vision come to life. It was Hudson who came up with Wynn and the Basics, and it was a fitting name even though Wynn downplayed her role as leader, and wanted to consider other band names. She went with it eventually, and the band was born.
Some would say that Ryan Collins changed his mind and did his masters program at ULL just so that he wouldn't have to leave Wynn and the band, but Ryan would tell you he stayed because he liked his professors, and it was more convenient than moving like he originally planned.
That was behind him, now, anyway.
Wynn was going into her senior year, and Ryan was at a crossroads. His plan was to get his PhD in History at UPenn so that he could become a college professor. If he talked to Wynn, and she said she wanted him to stay, he would get his teaching certificate and teach history at a local high school rather than leaving the state to pursue his doctorate. He had goals as a writer, and he figured teaching high school would be about the same as teaching college, anyway. If she wanted to be with him, it would be worth changing from plan A to plan B. Ryan smiled to himself, thinking plan B was preferable if it meant he was with Wynn.
"So, if she says 'yes' you're gonna stay here and teach high school, and if she says 'no', you'll go get your doctorate?" Claire asked, looking at Ryan like he had lost his mind.
Ryan made a face that said Claire should speak more quietly since they had just walked into the same room as Wynn.
"She can't hear us," she said, motioning around them at the noisy pub atmosphere. "She's standing way over there with Marcus."
"You don't have to tell me who she's standing with," Ryan said. "And it's a yes, to what you were saying. If she wants me to stay, then I'll stay."
"You'll just give up on your dream?" Claire asked.
"Wynn is my dream."
Claire gave Ryan a narrow-eyed expression that made him smile.
"I'm just saying," he said. "I know what I'm meant to do professionally, Claire. I know how I'm gonna contribute to my field. I have my book planned. I'm not giving up on anything. If Wynn says 'yes', it'll be worth changing the plan just a little."
She shrugged and gave him a worried smile. "I don't want to see you get your hopes up about things going a certain way, because—"
"Do you think she likes him?" Ryan asked, staring at Wynn and Marcus from a distance. They were in a small music venue seeing some friends of theirs, and Marcus and Wynn were standing near a hi-top table on the other side of the room. Marcus, the big shot talent manager from Austin, had come into their life a month before at a gig they played in Lake Charles. Ryan could see right through him, and he had already warned Wynn about it, but she didn't seem to feel the same way, judging by the way she stared at him and laughed at all his jokes. Seeing her interact with Marcus made Ryan's chest ache.
Claire touched his arm as they walked across the room in Wynn's direction. "I think you should finish your education," she said sweetly.
He glanced at her to find that she was watching him watch them. "I'm still gonna tell her how I feel," he said. "I'd never forgive myself if I left for Philadelphia without saying something."
Claire gave Ryan a reluctant smile that said she hated to see him get his heart broken. They had been walking toward Wynn, but still weren't close enough for her to hear when Ryan spoke again. "I'm a grown man, Claire. You don't have to feel sorry for me."
"I just think she's swept away by all this talk of making an album, and getting a record deal and stuff," she said in a regretful tone.
"I don't like him," Ryan said, referring to Marcus.
Claire smiled. "He's not my favorite either, if you want to know the truth. But you know Wynn." She paused because they were getting close enough to be overheard.
"Where's Charlie and Hud?" Wynn asked when she caught sight of Ryan and Claire approa
ching.
"They saw someone they knew by the door," Claire said.
"In New Orleans?" Wynn asked with a curious look on her face. She turned to Marcus. "Charlie's from Lafayette, and Hudson's from Alexandria," she explained.
"They're talking to those guys from Blue Bayou," Claire said as she and Ryan joined Wynn and Marcus at the table.
Wynn took a deep breath like she was about to make an announcement. "I was hoping everyone would get over here before the music started up because I have some things I wanted to talk to you about, but I can just tell Charlie and Hudson later." She paused and glanced at Claire. "I've already told Claire everything, but the rest of you don't know yet." She smiled at Ryan. "I'm moving."
Ryan glanced at Claire who couldn't make eye contact with him. His gaze slowly shifted to Wynn who was still smiling like everything was hunky-dory. "I know you're going to Philadelphia, so you'd be quitting the band anyway, but I wanted to let you know, I've decided to move to Austin." She paused and stared at Ryan, waiting for him to respond.
He said nothing.
There was noise and movement all around him, and he couldn’t think straight. Marcus put his arm around Wynn's shoulder as if indicating that he had control of the situation, which made Ryan stare at Wynn with a confused expression.
"When?" he asked.
"Yes Wynn," Marcus said, as if making a joke about her name was actually funny.
She looked at him with a smile and pushed at his shoulder for being silly. The affectionate way she did that made Ryan unable to form a coherent thought. He wanted to physically injure Marcus. He wanted to beat him up kung-fu style the way they did in video games.
"I'm leaving next month," she said.
Ryan stared at her with a disbelieving glare. "You have school next month," he said.
She continued to smile casually as she shook her head. "I'm gonna take a little time off," she said. "Marcus said if I move to Austin, I'd be making—"
"You're quitting," Ryan said, cutting her off. "You're quitting school to move to Austin to chase after some…" Ryan stopped himself in mid-sentence since he knew he was speaking out of frustration.
"She's good enough to make it, if she doesn't have people in her life trying to bring her down," Marcus said.
Ryan understood immediately that this clown was referring to him, and he nearly jumped over the table with his hands in neck-choking formation.
"Ryan only wants what's best for Wynn," Claire said, reaching out to touch his leg as if she knew how annoyed he was.
"Oh, my gosh, if anyone's supportive of all my kookiness, it's Ryan," Wynn added, shaking her head as she looked at Marcus. The girls' quick defense of Ryan made it possible for him to refrain from slamming that guy to the ground.
He made a promise to himself right then and there that no matter what happened with Wynn, he would learn how to fight. Ryan so badly wanted to get physical with this guy, that he knew he had to learn how to do it just in case he ever felt like this again. He made a pact with himself that he would learn the art of war effective immediately.
Ryan looked from Claire, to Wynn, to Marcus, feeling dazed and out of sorts. This was honestly the last thing he expected to hear her say when he sat at the table.
"I thought you were already registered for classes," he said.
"I was," she said. "But I'm not anymore."
"You already dropped out?" Ryan asked in utter disbelief.
He glanced at Claire, who looked down at the table as if she was sorry she hadn't given him a head's up.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Ryan asked, shifting his attention back to Wynn.
"Of course," she said. Her expression shifted to one of sweet concern as she sat there waiting for him to say what he wanted to say.
"I meant alone," Ryan said. "Can we step outside for a minute?"
He watched as Wynn turned to look at Marcus as if to ask if he was okay with it. Marcus gave her a slight nod, and Wynn turned to Ryan with a smile. "Of course," she said.
Ryan couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. Had she just asked that dude's permission to go talk to him? She'd been one of my best friends for three years, and now she's asking this clown, this poser who she's only known for a few weeks permission to go talk to me? What sort of backwards world did I just enter?
Ryan had never wished so badly that he had taken some or all forms of martial arts when he was a kid. If only his parents could have signed him up for some jiu-jitsu or at least karate, for goodness sake.
"You wanna go outside?" Wynn asked, stepping around Claire to get to Ryan.
"That's fine," he said.
The two of them walked next to each other without saying anything. They saw Charlie and Hudson on their way out, but they only talked to them long enough to explain where the table was and that they'd be right back.
"Is everything okay?" Wynn asked, the second they got far enough on the sidewalk to stand where they could talk without interruption. There was a little light from the pub and the streetlights, but it was relatively dark where they were standing. A group of people stood by the door, but nobody paid attention to them.
"Yeah," Ryan said, stalling, trying to get his thoughts together. "I didn't really anticipate having this conversation like this—you know, under these circumstances."
"What conversation, Ryan? You're freaking me out."
He tilted his head at her as if telling her to be patient. "Wynn, I thought we had…" he hesitated, not sure of what to say or how to say it. Multiple times, he had gone over what he would say at this very moment, but he couldn't remember any of them. He sighed and leaned against the brick wall, staring at the building across the street. He couldn’t look at her. She had these huge, dark brown eyes that saw directly into his soul.
"I uh, think it's a mistake to quit school, Wynn, especially if that guy has anything to do with it. I don't like him."
Wynn let out a little laugh. "Thanks for the support, Ryan. It's a good thing you're going to Philadelphia where you won't have to worry about it."
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," he said. "I wanted you to know I'd stay."
She made a confused expression. "What do you mean you'd stay?"
"I mean, if you wanted me to stay, I'd stay. I'd not leave and go to Philly."
"You mean for the band?" she asked.
He threw his hands up in a frustrated gesture. "Yes, Wynn, for the band—and for you."
The next few seconds passed in extremely awkward silence.
"Ryan," she said in a breathy, vulnerable voice.
He knew by the sound of it and the look on her face that she was afraid of hurting him, which meant the next words out of her mouth would be capable of doing so.
"I'm sort of going there to be with him, too. I mean, uh, I'm, uh, not just going there for music or whatever. Me and, uh, Marcus sort of hit it off or whatever."
She was trying her best to let him down gently, but Ryan could see how disconnected she was. She simply didn't see him the same way she saw Marcus; he could see it in her eyes. She was doing her best to be sweet, but it was evident by her expression that she saw him as a friend and nothing more.
Ryan's chest ached as he realized he had done and said everything he could without making a total fool of himself.
Chapter 2
Wynn
I felt tightness in my throat that made it difficult to breathe. Ryan Collins, one of my best friends, was standing right in front of me, saying he'd be willing to forget about getting his doctorate if I wanted him to stay home.
It was one of the most awkward, difficult things I had ever done, but I had to come out and tell him that I was moving to Austin, not only for my music, but also for Marcus.
"You just met this guy," he said, staring at me with a baffled expression.
"It's been a month," I said.
"Yeah, it was a month ago, but you've only met him once. He's been in Austin, and you've been here."
"I talk to hi
m on the phone everyday, Ryan. I've come to know him well by now. And, I'm not moving in with him, if that's what you think. I've got my own apartment lined up. I already had an earful from my family about it. The last thing I needed was for my friends to start doubting me."
"I think you should finish school," he said, shaking his head. "You only have two semesters left."
"Well, I'm sorry you think that," I said, feeling defensive. "But, I've gotta do what I think is right for me, and right now, I think that's moving to Austin."
"You're not gonna have family around," he said.
"You're not gonna have family around in Philly either," I said. "And I have a few friends in Austin already. Nick and Kristin moved over there, and so did Sean Chapman."
Ryan stood there, shaking his head and wearing an annoyed expression like I just wasn't getting it. He was tall and thin-framed, and I considered the possibility of being attracted to him and staying in Louisiana like he suggested. The thought had crossed my mind several times over the years because I knew he liked me, but I just didn't have that crazy spark with Ryan the way I did with Marcus.
Ryan was handsome enough, and he was perhaps the kindest person I'd ever met, but Marcus made me lose my breath. He was absolutely gorgeous, and he believed I could make it big, which was what I needed in my life. I felt confident with my choice to move to Austin… but that didn't make goodbyes any easier. I had shed many tears with my family during the last week, and telling Claire was terrible, but my feelings got easier to deal with when Marcus came to town—he reminded me why I was going in the first place.
"Wynn, we could be good together," Ryan said in a last-ditch effort.
I stared at him as we stood on the mostly deserted sidewalk. It was breaking my heart to break his heart. He stared down at me, letting his light eyes roam over my face. I could tell how much he cared for me—it was written all over his face. He wanted to kiss me. I looked at his lips, imagining what they would feel like. I almost gave into the urge to kiss him just to make us both feel better about this whole thing, but I ultimately knew what a bad person that would make me.
My One Regret (Martin Family Book 3) Page 1
