by Londyn Skye
“Yessum,” Lily replied again with zero emotion in her voice. She easily retrieved the song from her catalog of musical memories and immediately began replaying it with her typical stunning precision.
Other than Mary Jo and her father, nobody was familiar with the song, but that did not stop everyone else from being inwardly stunned by Lily’s ability. What stunned Mary Jo, though, was the fact that she was actually playing the correct song. She figured perhaps she had made a lucky guess. “Leela!” she suddenly shouted.
The music stopped.
“Come to think of it, I’ve heard that song so many times now, it’s quite the bore. I haven’t heard Mozart’s Piano Sonata Number Six in a long while. Play that one instead,” Mary Jo demanded.
“Yessum,” Lily replied just as emotionless as the last time.
“You do rememba’ that it’s supposed to be in D major, don’t you?” Mary Jo added in her typical condescending tone.
Lily swallowed hard. “Yessum,” she forced herself to say while still staring at the piano keys. James knew Lily well. Despite her only uttering a single word, the hint of irritation was blatantly obvious to him. Lily took a second to let her annoyance settle and once again began effortlessly tickling her way across the keys, replaying an even more challenging song in a way that would have made Mozart sit up in his grave and applaud.
To test Lily’s understanding of the information he taught her, William had given her sheets of classical music from Beethoven, Chopin, and Mozart to read. Asking her to play unfamiliar music reassured him that she was using the skills he had instilled in her, instead of just relying on her memory. With her God-given gift, it was no surprise to William that she had conquered every composition with ease. After learning those three songs, Lily had requested even more of the long difficult pieces, simply because she enjoyed expanding her musical knowledge. Even months later, the dozens of songs she had absorbed had not seeped out of her iron clad memory. That was a fact that Mary Jo was completely unaware of as she went about her futile attempt to prove that Lily was a step below a circus animal, who had no real skill other than to mimic the few tricks it had been taught.
Mary Jo had lied to herself and everyone else about not loving The Dream Symphony. The entire show astounded her. In fact, she was envious of what a slave was able to accomplish. Here it was that she had been afforded every luxury she could ever want in her life, but yet a woman who had once served her food had accomplished far more than she ever could have dreamed. That fact made her instantly jealous. Seeing Lily after the show in James’s embrace was the final blow that drove her jealousy and envy over a cliff. It was the reason she had convinced herself that Lily had no real talent, outside of replaying the few songs from her concert. Mary Jo now sat in the Adams’ parlor, desperately seeking to expose the fact Lily was no more talented than a stage monkey. But as karma would have it, the only thing Mary Jo had done was help shock a roomful of onlookers into silence. Even the children who had been traipsing loudly through the house all night suddenly seemed frozen in a hypnotic trance while Lily sat passionately playing Mozart’s sonata.
“That ain’t the way its s’pposed to be played!” Mary Jo suddenly interrupted again, clearly agitated about the failure of her humiliation tactics.
Lily stopped again.
Every head spun around to look at Mary Jo. The Adams family would not have known the difference in whether Lily was playing Mozart or a drunken pianist’s tavern tune, but they seemed just as annoyed as Lily by Mary Jo’s interruption. “With all due respect, Ms. Mary Jo, you requested Mozart’s Sonata Number Six, and that’s what I’s playin’.”
“I ain’t stupid! I know that’s what you were playin’, but I don’t like the dried up somba’ way you’s playin’ it! It’s supposed to be Allegro! Do you know what that means or is that too complicated a word for a stupid monkey like you?!”
“Mary Jo! Enough!” her father finally intervened. “I’m sure she unda’stands full well what that means! The song sounded just fine to me.” He turned toward Lily. “More than fine actually. Sounded pretty damn incredible.”
Lily nodded in appreciation of his compliment.
Mary Jo’s face sneered over her father’s words. “Not to me it didn’t! I didn’t like it! Nor do I like the way that filthy heffa’ was just talkin’ to me!” Mary Jo’s head quickly swiveled toward Jesse. “I’m appalled that you let your slaves talk back to your guests that way, Mr. Adams. I’d neva’ allow my house girl to talk back the way this one does … Nor any of our otha’ nigga’s for that matta’. I’d see to it that they were whipped into unconsciousness if they dared to disrespect any of my visita’s!”
Joseph jumped up from his seat. “Mary Jo! I said that’s enough!” The times when Joseph corrected his daughter were few and far between. James had noticed years ago that Joseph only ever disciplined his daughter when he was inebriated. He thought perhaps if Joseph was an alcoholic, Mary Jo would be more like an obedient little soldier than a snotty, entitled, little twit.
Lily had her back to Jesse and was able to hide the way she was cutting her eyes hard at Mary Jo while her father was putting her in her place. Mary Jo returned the glare with a sinister smirk, not caring the least bit about her father’s eruption.
“Carry on Lily,” Joseph insisted as he took his seat again.
“No! Why don’t you make yourself more useful … Leela.” Mary Jo shooed her with her hand. “Go fetch me anotha’ drink,” she commanded with her squinted, beady eyes still fixatated on Lily.
Lily returned a threatening glare for a moment longer before standing and departing from the room to fulfill yet another one of Mary Jo’s menial demands. Once again, she was too disgusted to exchange a glance with James as she breezed by feeling smothered by embarrassment.
Typically, whenever James was mentally and emotionally taxed, it was natural for him to withdraw and be paralyzed into silence. But in this instance, he was forcing himself to appear docile. He was seething inside about Mary Jo’s attempts to humiliate Lily. He hated that his silence was probably being misconstrued as a lack of empathy, but it was either dangle off the silent end of the spectrum or unleash the beast that lived on the polar opposite end. There was no in-between when it came to being emotionally overwhelmed to this degree. And between keeping his father calm, not having money, trying to make amends with Lily, and the news of her pregnancy, overwhelmed did not even begin to describe how James was feeling. Now, on top of that, he had learned that Mary Jo was the root cause of Lily’s demise, all while quietly sitting there being penetrated by his brother’s hateful glare. It all further added to the piles of human excrement James was feeling buried underneath. He, therefore, had to use every bit of his strength to continue to keep his inner beast on its chain and fight to maintain his silence. He kept his calm by reminding himself that the night would soon come to an end. His father had been oddly quiet about all that had transpired over the last year, and James was doing all he could to keep it that way.
“Dear sweet baby Jesus,” Corrina whispered after Lily entered the kitchen. “I didn’t know you could play no piano like that.”
“Some days I wish I didn’t know eitha’,” Lily replied. It was the most Corrina had heard her say at one time.
“Oh, come on now, girl. Don’t you let that ol’ rotten Mary Jo get the best of ya’. You know she’s as spoiled as month ol’ milk. The kind that singe ya’ nose hairs clean off when ya’ catch a whiff.”
That fact did not make Lily feel any better about the situation. She struggled to calm herself down, which Corrina could easily see by the way she had angrily snatched the cork out of a wine bottle.
“Why don’t you let me take this out to Mary Jo,” Corrina suggested, slowly removing the wine bottle from Lily’s hand.
“No.” Lily blew out a frustrated breath. “I’ll be fine. But thank you,” she said, sounding a little calmer.
“You sho’?”
“I’m sure.”
“All right then,” Corrina replied, still feeling a little leery. “You keep calm in there, ya’ hear?”
“Yessum,” Lily promised. And she meant it. She was angry at herself for letting Mary Jo affect her. She took the wine bottle back from Corrina, poured Mary Jo a glass, and followed the sounds of her high-pitched cackling all the way back to the parlor.
Joseph had drunk himself into “hillbilly” mode and was talking about the one thing that dominated his mind whenever he was inebriated as of late. “Look at all these damn grandkids you got runnin’ ’round here Jesse! I swear, I can’t hardly keep count of ’em na’more,” Joseph slurred. “I’m still waitin’ on ma’ first one. Hell, by the time Mary Jo gets married, I’ll be too crippled to walk ’er down the aisle!” He let out a drunken laugh and slapped his knee.
Mary Jo glanced over at Lily as she entered the parlor with her drink. “Don’t worry, daddy,” she said, running her hand down James’s thigh. “It won’t be too much longa’ before you get that grandson you been wantin’.”
After hearing her words, Lily “accidentally” stumbled over the throw rug and “coincidentally” spilled red wine on Mary Jo’s lap.
“You clumsy nigga’!” Mary Jo shouted, jumping up from her seat.
Jesse jumped up from the couch and grabbed Lily by the throat. She barely blinked as his hand started to tighten. She stared him down, daring him with her eyes to finish the job.
“PA!” James leapt from his seat with lightning speed. “Let me handle this!” He snatched Lily hard by the arm and ripped her from his father’s grip. He dragged her outside near the barn and turned her loose with a slight shove after he was far enough away from the house. “What the hell you tryna do in there, get yourself killed!?”
Lily cocked her head to the side. “It’d save me the trouble of doin’ it myself.”
“Don’t you dare be so damn selfish!” James erupted. “I know you’re angry with me about bein’ back here, but that baby is just as much mine as it is yours! I ain’t gonna let you put your life or my child’s in any danger!” He paused as a sickening thought suddenly crossed his mind. “And goddamn it, you betta’ still be carryin’ that baby!”
“Or else what?!” Lily snapped, taking a quick step toward him. “What you gonna do, huh? You gonna whip me? Beat me? Kill me … masta’ James?” she taunted. “You’d certainly be doin’ me a favor.”
“Goddamn it, Lily! I don’t wanna hear you talkin’ that nonsense! You know I’d neva’ hurt you. Hell, I’ve neva’ once in my life wanted to hurt you. I know that may seem like a lie, but I’m beggin’ you not to believe the bullshit facade I have to put on around my family, or anything else I may do that contradicts how much I love you!” He pointed to her stomach. “And that baby!”
“Love?! Love would’ve stood up for me in there! Mary Jo’s fatha’, of all people, had to come to my defense, while you just sat there and let that spoiled little bitch make a damn fool outta me!”
“Love! is what kept me from sayin’ anything!”
“What the hell kind ‘a sense does that make?!”
“I’ve already told you! I’m in there literally bitin’ my tongue, tryna pull off the world’s greatest actin’ job to protect you! Lily, you don’t know the kind ‘a shit my fatha’s truly capable of!”
“I’ve spent ova’ half my life workin’ with that evil bastard. You don’t think I know what he’s capable of by now, or do you think I’m just as stupid as MJ does?!”
“C’mon now, you know betta’ than that!” James did not want to frighten her by divulging the sickening secret of what he had witnessed his father doing to another slave, so he took a breath to calm himself and shifted the focus of the conversation. “And speakin’ of MJ, what the hell was that all about, huh?”
“It was an accident.”
“Accident my ass.”
Lily folded her arms and turned her back.
“You know I don’t give a damn about MJ. So, don’t tell me you’re jealous of her?”
Lily spun around before he could even finish his sentence. “Jealous! I ain’t neva’, nor will I eva’ be jealous ‘a that lunatic! If a man spends more than ten minutes listenin’ to her, he’d be ready to cut his own ears off. Why would I eva’ be jealous of somebody like that?”
“Then why were you actin’ that way?”
“’Cause I’m envious!”
“Of MJ?” James asked, as if such a thing was an impossibility.
“Of the situation! I see all that MJ gets to do with you and yo’ family, and I know that could neva’ be me! I could neva’ sit at that dinna’ table with yo’ daddy, laughin’, and eatin’ a meal while you holdin’ my hand. I won’t eva’ be able to cuddle up next to you on the couch, sippin’ wine, and tellin’ stories to yo’ brotha’s while you got yo’ arm around me. For years, I had to walk around that house pretendin’ like you didn’t even exist in their presence. Hell, I couldn’t even so much as look you in the eyes in front ‘a yo’ fatha’ without fear of bein’ whipped for it. Watchin’ all ‘a y’all in there tonight was a reminda’ of the fact that I could neva’ have the sort ‘a life with you that a woman like MJ could. It doesn’t matta’ how many stages I play a piano on, or how much money I make, that family scene in there…” Lily touched her chest. “I could neva’ be a part ‘a that James.
“Bein’ in there reminded me of how stupid I really was for eva’ lettin’ myself feel anything for you. It made me realize that I truly was a damn fool for thinkin’ that one day I could eva’ be yo’ wife, or that you’d eva’ be happy to openly announce that I’s the motha’ of yo’ child. I don’t know what the hell possessed me to believe that you’d one day walk proudly down the road, holdin’ my hand, with our child in your otha’ arm,” she laughed at herself. “But I know one thing … that whole goddamn scene in there tonight was a painful reminda’ of the fact that me and this baby will always be nothin’ to you … nothin’ but yo’ dirty little secret.”
“That ain’t true!”
“Oh no?!” Lily pointed to his house. “Well then march yo’self in that parla’ in front ‘a all yo’ family and tell ’em how much you love me, and that we gon’ get married, and that we ’bout to have a baby!”
James looked over at the house, back at Lily, and then down to the ground.
“Well go on!” She lightly shoved him toward the house. “What the hell you waitin’ on?!”
James could not bear to look at her. He continued to stare at the ground and did not make another move after she pushed him. He realized that she was never more right, and he hated himself for not having the courage to do what she had just asked. He stood there feeling like he was drowning in shame.
Lily walked up, stopped next to his shoulder, turned toward him, and stared at the profile of his face as he continued to direct his eyes into the dirt. “Mm-hmm … Nothin’, but yo’ dirty little secret.” She walked off into the darkness toward the slave quarters and never turned to look back.
James never bothered to say another word.
J.R. had watched a portion of James and Lily’s heated exchange from the kitchen window. They were so far in the distance, he could not hear what was being said. However, he could tell by Lily’s body language that she was lashing back at James with a level of disrespect that should never be tolerated by a white man. The way his brother was letting her get away with it infuriated J.R, and so did the fact that everyone had gathered that evening for the sole purpose of welcoming James home. The festivities gave J.R. yet another reason to be jealous and envious of his brother. He was already jealous of how close he once was to their mother. He was jealous of how intelligent James was and the way in which his father used to brag about him at social gatherings. His jealousy then grew exponentially when girls began to gossip about James’s good looks in his teen years. Outside of J.R.’s birthdays, there had never been a celebration in his honor like they were currently having for his youngest brother. J.R. had sat in the dining room pretending t
o be happy to hear everyone use the title “doctor” in front of James’s name. His smile was equally as disingenuous when he saw the lavish trinkets James had received with that word permanently stamped on them. The entire scenario had grated J.R.’s nerves, but he kept his wits about him until glaring out the window and watching Lily get away with a punishable offense in his little brother’s presence.
Fortunately, just seconds before Lily had shoved James, Jesse happened to walk into the kitchen and wrangled J.R.’s attention from the window. He turned toward his father and immediately unleashed his venom. “Did you already know about that goddamn pianah show?!”
Jesse’s face immediately began to turn red and his eyelids lowered into angry slits as he glared at his son.
“You did, didn’t ya’?!” J.R. replied after his father’s silence answered his question. “I can’t believe this shit! How the hell can you call y’urself a Ghost Rida’ and just let James get away with takin’ that nigga’ up north to play a pianah in a fuckin’ show?” J.R. boldly asked, in a hushed but intense tone. “Afta’ everything you instilled in us, how can you just let ’em disrespect the codes we live by?!”
Jesse continued to stare at his oldest son for a moment longer without saying a word. He felt such a rage building inside of him that he suddenly spat on his own kitchen floor. He wiped his mouth and took a step toward J.R. “Are my ears deceivin’ me or did you just fuckin’ question me, boy?”
J.R. did not back down. “I don’t know why, but you been lettin’ James get away with bloody murda’ his whole goddamn life. Seems I always gotta be the one to put that fuckin’ little snot in his place!” he snarled. “I’ve been loyal to you my whole life, but ya’ turn around and leave this plantation to a son who just spent a whole fuckin’ year violatin’ our codes! Explain to me how that makes any sense?!”
Jesse gave his son one of his infamous pop shots to the mouth, but J.R. barely budged and never took his squinted eyes off his father. “I don’t give a damn how old you are, you don’t eva’ fuckin’ question me!”
