by Ana Medeiros
Julian didn’t hide his anger. “Get. Out.”
“Next time I knock on your door,” Pam glanced at Meredith, “she won’t be standing by you.”
Chapter 3
Her blood covered Julian’s chest.
She used it to draw on his skin. Her fingertips moved smoothly at a slow, taunting pace. She drew a line over his stomach and continued past his navel. Aroused, Julian moaned when she closed her hand on his erection.
The room they were in was small. No noise broke in or out of it, and Julian’s loud, short gasps sounded almost painful. The thought that he might have lost grip on reality crossed his mind, but as fast as the notion formed, it disappeared.
The sensation of her lips made Julian’s hips shoot off the bed into her eager mouth. With his eyes closed, he ran his fingers through her hair. It was so straight that they slid easily from the roots to the ends. He did it again. And again.
He couldn’t convince himself she was who he needed her to be. Her hair felt too straight, too sleek, and not long enough. The next time he slid his fingers through her hair, instead of a gentle caress, he closed his hand on her nape and, without care, pulled her face close to his.
That’s when Julian finally dared to open his eyes.
As soon as he did, he knew he shouldn’t be there. The same disgust he felt for himself he suddenly felt toward her. He couldn’t control the sensation of boundless shame.
Julian sat up on the bed and pushed her into the mattress. As he reached for the knife, he lifted her hair away from her neck. She didn’t fight him. Her pliant body welcomed his touch. Straddling her, he stared at her naked breasts. Awash with the lighting’s red hue, her pale skin turned luminescent. It begged him to do what he hungered for.
He brought the tip of the blade to the base of her neck and she cried out when he pressed it firmly into her flesh.
Julian smiled, but he didn’t know why. He felt no joy.
Only what came next was better than this moment. He moved the blade in a curved line, almost meeting her shoulder and, before he lifted it from her flesh, blood starting to seep out of the long cut.
The sight of it hypnotized him.
But this time, it didn’t feel enough. Maybe never again would it be enough. Reaching for the small bag on the night table, he poured the white powder into a small pile between her breasts. With the short straw that they both used earlier that night, he inhaled it up his nose. The rush seized him. He threw his head back and chuckled with euphoria. He didn’t recognize his own laughter, and that only made him laugh harder.
Her blood seeped into what was left of the powder on her torso. He mixed the two with the tip of his finger and then he rubbed it into his gums. The metallic taste of her blood with the chalky texture of the powder should have made him gag, but it only made his whole body yearn for more.
He grabbed the small glass vial by the bed and, using the eyedropper that came with it, placed one drop of his favorite hallucinogenic under his tongue.
Julian began to hear crying sounds. Aroused, not knowing if the cries came from him or her, he surrendered to the wave of desire growing within him. He grabbed the knife and stroked her sides with the blade.
Julian only realized he had cut her again when deep red blotches appeared on the linen sheets. Wanting to absorb her blood with his own body, Julian pressed his palms to the cuts. Her skin became slippery and he couldn’t get a good hold on her. Sweat dripped from his forehead into his eyes but the sting of it didn’t stop him. He stared down—his favorite moment—and saw his fingers crossed with her blood.
Julian caressed her stomach; her skin was now stained red. He couldn’t stop. He continued, spreading her blood onto her shoulders and arms. Nestled between her legs, his need to orgasm became undeniable. His palm and fingers moved in a closed fist along his cock. As he guided himself into her, the sight of his blood-slicked hand wrapped tightly around his member sent a rush of desire up his spine. He didn’t remember having a more powerful erection. He began to move in and out of her with a force that pushed her against the headboard. His release came fast—almost immediate.
Julian refused to wait for his body to recover. As he got off the bed on unsteady legs, he stumbled and ended up colliding into the wall. That didn’t deter him. He hurried to put on his clothes and was so frantic that he almost ripped his dress shirt trying to get his hands through the sleeves. He left the room without looking back.
Covering his eyes, Julian moved down the narrow corridor. He felt as if people were determined to walk into him. He cursed, forcing his way through the crowd.
By the time he sat behind the wheel of his car, he wanted to run back to The Raven Room. He turned the key in the ignition and the sound of the engine coming to life made him cover his ears. Everything around him appeared to be too bright and extremely loud. He turned the AC on full blast. He saw red confetti blowing out of the vents, and opened his mouth and let the small flecks of paper land on his tongue. They instantly dissolved with a bitter taste. He tried to get rid of it by rubbing his fingers over his tongue but it only made the acrid flavor worse.
Julian buried his face in his hands and cried.
Chapter 4
“This one is different.”
Pam sat doubled over scattered pictures and police reports strewed across her desk. She had downed seven cups of bad drip coffee in the span of two hours and its effects were finally kicking in—she felt both exhausted and restless.
She heard a knock and raised her eyes to the door, wondering who was idiotic enough to bother her so late in the day. When she saw Colton’s head peek in, she resisted throwing her empty coffee mug at him.
“I have the toxicology report you were asking about,” he said.
She rubbed her temples trying to stave off a crippling headache. “Why wasn’t the toxicology report in the case folder?”
“You’re asking me?” Colton dropped the report on her desk. “I’m not a file clerk.”
“Sit down.”
He sighed and eased himself down onto the empty chair by her desk. “What’s this about?”
Pam leafed through the toxicology report. “Sofia Dulgorukova’s murder.”
“We were both at the crime scene. I know what you know, which isn’t much.”
“That’s the problem. If you knew more than me we might actually get somewhere.”
“I don’t know much about her murder, but I know plenty about her,” Colton said. “She’s a slut who ended up living in a dump, giving away blow jobs in a used bookstore. She had no business sense, which is the only thing that can make me respect a woman who would choose to live her life like that.”
“Keep your piggish thoughts to yourself. They’re terrifying.”
He began to stand. “Doesn’t sound like you need me here so, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna jet…”
“Stop.” Pam interrupted him. “I do need you here.”
“Why?”
“Sit your ass back down.
“This better be good.”
“I need you to tail Julian Reeve. Everywhere he goes, you go. If he doesn’t leave his house for three days, you don’t step out of your car for three days.”
Colton almost jumped off his chair. “That shouldn’t be my frigging job. Put an officer on him. There are more useful ways for me to spend my time.”
“Your job is whatever I tell you it is. How long have you been doing this, huh? Six months? You’ve a lot of dues to pay, Colton. Just be happy I’m not telling you to go pick up my lunch.”
“How’s tailing Reeve any different?”
“You’re working a case. That’s how it’s different. Pay attention to his routine. The places he goes. Who he’s with. I want a full description of every female that goes within ten feet of him. He knows where Tatiana Thompson is and we need to find her.”
Colton nodded.
“Make sure he doesn’t see you. No one can know about this. Not even here at the station. This stays between you
and me.”
“Why can’t anyone know?”
“Just do what I tell you.”
“Since when do we keep secrets around here?”
“We’re not keeping secrets. We’re protecting our case. I need you on this with me. Aren’t you my partner?”
“Listen, Sung, you like having me as your partner as much as I like having you as mine. We’ll never be part of the same circle jerk. But I’ll be your obedient errand boy if I, in return, get something I want.”
“Careful, Colton. I’m not a woman you want to bargain with.”
“If I have to stew in my fucking car for the next couple of weeks I’ll take my chances.”
“Let me guess, working beats on the North Side is looking damn good and you want me to put in a word so a transfer can happen.”
He appeared surprised, perhaps even downright insulted, by what she had just said.
“This is where I want to be. No beats on the North Side for me,” he replied.
“Then what the fuck do you want?”
“More vacation time.”
“More vacation time?” she repeated, as if he had just spoken in a foreign language she couldn’t fully comprehend.
“When I started I was promised two weeks. Now the sergeant is saying I only get one. See, that doesn’t work for me. I want my two weeks.”
“And you want me to talk to him.”
“You’ve got sway around here. If anyone can get me my vacation time, it’s you.”
“I’ll talk to the man. Can’t promise anything, though. In the meantime, you work hard as a dog. No whining.”
“Not even a growl.”
“So, what the hell are you waiting for?” Pam pointed at the door of her office. “Go do your job.”
“This will be another wild goose chase, just like when we searched his condo. Reeve is fucking loaded and motherfuckers like that don’t go down—guilty or not.”
“That’s the thing, you ever meet a psychologist or a professor who can afford to live in a place like that?”
Colton paused at Pam’s comment. She saw that he was starting to think about Reeve the way she needed him to.
He was almost out the door when Pam called out to him. “Are you sure more vacation time is really what you want?”
Colton’s expression changed and he chuckled. “Oh, don’t you worry, Sung, I know a dime piece who will make every second of that extra week be more valuable than a lifetime in Reeve’s posh condo.”
Chapter 5
I really need to buy an umbrella, Meredith thought to herself as she walked down South Ellis Avenue in Chatham. Instead of taking the subway to 79th Street like the last time she made her way to that part of town, she had decided to drive. But after circling around the block for several minutes in search of a spot, she had given up and parked in a lot a couple of streets away. Although it had poured earlier, it was only drizzling now and she toyed with the idea of slowing down, lighting a cigarette, and putting her Burberry showerproof trench coat to good use. As she recalled how much time she had spent that morning fighting with her hair straightener, her need for nicotine became less urgent.
Suddenly, her skin prickled with awareness. She glanced over her shoulder, expecting to find eyes on her, but the street remained empty of people. In recent weeks, as soon as she stepped out of her home, she struggled with the suspicion that she was being followed. It might be the police attempting to find Tatiana, or it might be someone connected to The Raven Room.
She slid her hand into her pocket and closed her fingers around the necklace she had found in Julian’s drawer. She needed proof the necklace didn’t belong to Lena, the woman whose death had wrongly been ruled an accidental overdose.
To ask Julian where the necklace had come from seemed pointless. He could tell her whatever he wanted and she wouldn’t be able to challenge him, but Samantha Williams would tell her if the necklace she possessed belonged to her late friend.
Meredith climbed the steps to the porch and knocked on the door. She had tried calling Samantha a couple times, but she hadn’t been able to get a hold of her. She knocked again, louder. No noise came from inside of the house and the blinds were drawn. Beginning to worry that she might be out of luck, she knocked one more time.
A couple of teenagers with cigarettes burning between their lips tinkered with an old boom box on the porch of the neighboring house. She caught them eyeing her.
“Hey,” she called out. “Have you guys seen Mrs. Williams?”
“She moved,” one of them replied.
Meredith cursed under her breath. “Where?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know.”
“How long ago did she move?”
“Couple months, maybe.”
She noticed the pile of old junk mail in the corner and realized she should have visited sooner. Without Samantha, she wouldn’t find the answers she needed.
The rain started to come down harder again and Meredith, putting her hands back in her pockets, felt the cross necklace brush against her knuckles. The little energy she had left vanished and disappointment took hold of her. Too tired to rush back to her car, she lit a cigarette and inhaled the soothing smoke into her lungs.
An hour later, Meredith parked her car on her street in Wicker Park, not far from her apartment. As she walked, she sensed someone was watching her.
She had just turned the key on the lock of her front door when a change in the air made all the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She turned around quickly and gasped when she saw a figure standing only a few feet behind her.
“Calm down, it’s me.” Pam took a step forward. The light above the door now reached her face. “You’re not answering your phone.”
“So you decided to scare me half to death?”
“I don’t remember you ever being this jumpy.”
“What do you want, Pam?”
“Can we go for a walk?”
“It’s raining. I’m tired.”
“Let’s go grab a coffee.”
“Why?”
“Meredith, please.” Pam rubbed her eyes with her fingers. “I’m not here on police business.”
“Then why?”
“To talk. As your stepmom.”
“You must think I’m an idiot.”
“Can we go somewhere?” Pam insisted.
“Fine. But you’re driving.”
As they made their way north on Oakley Avenue, Meredith kept shifting her gaze between the back and side windows.
“Is everything OK?” Pam asked.
“Uh-huh.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did you send your lackeys after me?”
Pam frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Hoping I’ll lead them to Tatiana?”
“I don’t have anyone following you, Meredith.”
She didn’t know if she believed her.
They ended up at Mystic Muffin, a small coffee shop near Logan Square subway station with checkered tablecloths and a collection of dying plants by the window.
The man behind the counter handed them their coffee, before returning to his spot by the door, newspaper in hand.
Sitting back on her wobbly chair, Meredith felt nauseated. “What’s that smell?”
“Bleach. John uses it to wash the floor. You’ll get used to it. Soon, you won’t be able to smell it anymore.”
“John?”
Pam tilted her head toward the man reading the newspaper.
“You must come here often,” Meredith said.
“Years now.”
Meredith’s physical discomfort added to her agitation. She wished she had declined Pam’s invitation and just stayed home.
“How well did you know Sofia?”
Meredith held her coffee cup in front of her face. She hoped the smell of black coffee would mask the scent of bleach. “I thought you weren’t on police business.”
“Just tell me.”
“I never met Sofia. Julia
n has been in a relationship with Tatiana Thompson. That’s the woman I know.”
Pam sighed. “Really?”
Julian’s attorney had made it clear—it worked to Julian’s benefit if the police couldn’t prove which of the twins Julian had been having a relationship with. Meredith figured her stepmother knew she was backing the story, not because Meredith believed it, but because she was determined to protect Julian.
“Yes, Tatiana Thompson.”
“Fine. Assuming we’re talking about the same person, how well did you know her?”
“You’ve asked me that before and I’ve answered.”
Pam leaned forward, her elbows on the tabletop. “Were you two intimate?”
“Oh, I see.” Meredith chuckled. “Don’t look so uncomfortable.”
“Have sex with whomever you want. I don’t care. Were you two intimate?”
“Yes.”
“While at the club, did you talk to Tatiana?” Pam continued.
“No, I did not. Why do you want to know if I had sex with Tatiana or if I spoke with her at the club?”
“You have no idea the amount of pressure I’m under.”
Meredith took a sip of her coffee. It tasted bitter and she made a face as she forced herself to swallow it.
“Why would Tatiana steal some dead woman’s identity and use it to find a job and rent a room at the New Jackson?” Pam added. “How would she be able to keep this double life a secret from her husband?”
“Is Sofia’s death somehow connected to The Raven Room?” Up until this moment, the idea that the club was involved in what happened to Sofia had just been a lingering suspicion in the back of Meredith’s mind.
“There are things I can’t tell you. If you know where Tatiana is—”
“I don’t,” Meredith said, interrupting her. “The club hasn’t come up at all during this investigation. Why is that? If we’re going to be honest with one another, it’s time to admit that the club is being protected.”
“I can’t discuss the investigation with you.”
