“Would you mind sharing?” I asked, figuring they looked a little younger than I was, maybe mid-twenties, but they seemed normal and friendly, and I was in the mood to be a little rebellious tonight.
The brunette looked at her auburn-haired friend and shrugged. “Sure, we were just about to light another.” I sat down on the low lounge chair beside them, my feet digging into the sand. The brunette lit the joint and inhaled deeply. I had smoked a little marijuana in high school but only a handful of times. “Here.” She passed me the joint, and I took a long drag, holding my breath.
We passed the joint back and forth, and it didn’t take long for me to feel the effects. “What’s your name?” Brunette asked.
“I’m Natalia.” I hadn’t realized I didn’t introduce myself.
“I’m Christy. This is Noelle,” Brunette said, pointing to her friend.
“Nice to meet you both.” I smiled wide, knowing my eyes were already puffy and probably red.
“Where do you go?” Noelle asked. It took me a minute to process her question.
“Oh, I’m not in school,” I said. “I graduated eons ago.”
“You look so young,” Christy said, and then she burst into laughter and so did I even though somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that statement wasn’t funny.
“Where do you guys go?” I asked.
“We’re at Yale. We’re here on vacay with our parents,” Noelle explained. “Christmas break.”
Right.
“I went to UCLA,” I explained.
“Gucci,” Noelle answered. I had no idea what she meant. I didn’t want to look like an idiot and ask either.
“Well, thanks for sharing with me. Have a good trip.” I started to stand and tripped on basically nothing. The three of us burst into more laughter. It took me a good while to actually straighten myself up and catch my breath from laughing. It felt so damn good.
“Yeah, take it easy.” Christy smiled.
“Yeah, Brah,” Noelle added.
“Sure, yeah, okay.” High as a kite, I walked back to my hotel room. When I got there I thought of Hayes. How badly he wanted to be with me tonight. I shot him a quick text, thinking he was a college student too even though he was a grad student and those girls were probably working on an undergrad degree. I had no idea what the hell they were talking about. Like they spoke a different language.
Me: I’m in my room. All’s good.
Balls rolled on my screen.
Hayes: It’s late. I was worried I may have to track you down.
My pulsed warmed from his words.
Me: All good. I’m high as a kite and feeling good.
It didn’t take long for my phone to ring.
“Hello.” I began to giggle.
“Shite. What did you do?” he asked with a resigned tone.
“I smoked a joint with some college girls by the pool.” I burst into laughter.
“Okay. I guess that isn’t too bad.”
“It’s freaking amazing. I mean, I know I should be sad today and a part of me deep down is, but I also have clarity,” I mumbled. “I’m going back to school. I’m going to get my degree, I’m going to leave Mark, and I’m going to do lots of yoga.” A loud yawn escaped me.
“Yoga?” he questioned.
“Did it on the beach as the sun was setting. It was so cleansing, I just felt so cleansed.”
“Good, okay. Well, if you’re safe in your room you should probably get some sleep. Make sure to use the extra latch to lock the door.”
“And one day I’m going to kiss you,” I mumbled, feeling exhausted and hungry. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should have been embarrassed by that comment, yet the effects of the wine and joint mixed together relieved me of my conscience.
Hayes sighed. “I’ll wait for you,” he said. “Good night, Natalia.”
“Good night.” I yawned again, and my eyes shut.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Natalia
I curled into my pillow not remembering a time I had such a deep and restful sleep. When I remembered where I was, my eyes shot open and I checked my phone to see that I was still on a ten-hour call with Hayes, and my battery was at fifteen percent.
“Holy shit,” I said into the emptiness of the room. I put the phone to my ear. “Hello.” I figured I must have forgotten to hang up last night.
“Hello, Sunshine,” his British accent made my belly flip in delicious ways.
“You’re on the phone,” I said surprised.
“I’m at the beach reading one of my psychology books. Left my phone on speaker so I would hear you wake up. Wanted to make sure you were okay over there.”
“Umm”—my hand came up to my mouth—“wow. That is really sweet.”
“You were high, Natalia, and I needed to make sure you were okay.” He chortled.
“Did you sleep?” I asked, feeling warmth in my cheeks and my heart.
“I slept well, thank you for asking. Did you know you sometimes snore?” he answered, and my hand went to my chest and my mouth dropped open.
“No.” My startled tone was apparent. I was completely embarrassed.
“I’m just joking, although you did make some sexy sounds. I was wondering what you were dreaming about.” I imagined him cocking a brow and grinning at me salaciously.
“You. I was dreaming about you,” I said because our attraction was too strong to sweep under a rug. “I’m pretty sure I admitted some incredibly embarrassing things in my dream last night.” My hand came up to cover my face not that he could see me or anything.
“Oh, you mean when you said you would kiss me one day.” I heard the laughter in his tone; it took me a moment to jog my memory to know that truly happened. I gasped. “Relax, Natalia,” he said, his tone comforting and deep.
I took a breath.
“I should get going. I need to shower, get dressed, and head home. To reality.” Gah! I hated the sound of that even though I missed my kids.
“Text me if you need anything.”
“Thank you and enjoy your book.” I ended the call and checked my phone.
Numerous missed calls and text messages from Mark. I guess his calls went to voicemail since my phone was on a call all night. I also had a text from mom saying my kids are adorable and safe at school. I had about four hours to pick them up.
I showered and went home. I had to face my husband and have the talk I dreaded, but it was now clear to me; we needed to divorce.
“You forgot our freaking anniversary,” I shouted for the third time as my husband apologized again and again.
“I’m so sorry, Nat. I’ve been having problems at work, and it must have slipped my mind.
I threw my hands up in the air and paced our family room, which served more like a main room in our house. “How can you forget our wedding anniversary? What could have been so important that would make you forget?”
He gave me a blank stare.
“Just don’t go there. Okay, whatever it is, I deserve to know.” I stood with my arms
crossed on my chest.
Mark raked his fingers through his dark hair. “I fucked up. Let me make it up to you tonight.” He gave me a warm smile and his dark eyes turned molten.
“Too late. I spent the night by myself in a hotel room that was meant for us. I told you last week not to book any appointments because I had something planned.”
I watched the balls rolling in his mind, and that’s when I realized my words were clicking into place for him. That means when I asked him to keep the day open last week, it hadn’t dawn on him that it was our anniversary.
“I’ve tried so hard to be a supportive wife, to be understanding,” I began.
“It’s a two-way street, Nat, I’ve tried too. I just can’t get anywhere with you,” he retorted. Last week that comment would have felt like a low blow. I would have gnawed on what his words meant, and they would make me feel incompetent. Not now. Never again.
“I want a divorce.
Our marriage isn’t working. We can’t communicate. Things are . . . not right.” I took a seat on our sectional, my shoulders slumped, and my head fell forward in my hands.
“No.” He kneeled down in front of me.
I picked up my head, surprised. “No? I can’t do this anymore.”
“We can’t divorce. What about the kids? You want them to have to jump back and forth between us?”
He preyed on my every fear, on my weaknesses. I saw that now. “That isn’t fair.”
“We owe too much money on the house. If we split things up how will we live? Where would I go?” he asked as if it was my responsibility. I had paid off a second mortgage and part of his credit card debt with my revenue from A Birthday Wish. I bailed him out, and that was my repayment. He had the gall to throw our remaining debt in my face. We had made some bad choices and spent too much money when we first got married. I didn’t budget well and Mark didn’t consider our financial situation. We lived above our means, and we were still paying for it.
“That isn’t fair either. We can sell the house and each of us can rent something,” I suggested.
“What? A shithole. Because if we divide our salaries into two households that is what we’ll be able to afford,” he barked.
“I’d rather a shithole than living in this situation,” I snapped.
He got off his knees. “That was a real bitchy thing to say.”
“I’m drowning.” The tears began to flow. “I can’t do this anymore. Maybe I can stay with my dad and Anna for a while.”
He raised his brows and gave me an incredulous look. “You hate Anna. How would you live with her?” Since we didn’t communicate I’d never told him about my talk with dad.
“I don’t hate Anna. I hated the idea of her. Now that I understand my father’s situation a little better, I’m getting along with her. You forget she’s Rosabell’s mom. I’ve known Anna since grade school.” I held my ground. For all the times he broke my resolve, a block had been built in its place. I was strong. I would not falter or let him get in my head.
Mark shook his head and gazed at me like I sickened him.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that? You don’t want me, why can’t you let me go?” That was the million dollar question. I feared I would never know the real reason he hung on to this messed up relationship.
He stared at me for a long beat. “If we divorce, I want the kids half the time. One week with you and one week with me.” His voice was cold and calculated as the words left his mouth. His eyes, which I once thought were a soulful brown, seemed dark charcoal and void of emotion.
I couldn’t go through life not seeing my kids half the month. They were my life.
“That isn’t fair,” I feigned.
“I’ll go to court. I’ll fight for them. I’ll spend every last dollar I have doing it,” he said, pointing a finger at me and all I saw was black. He wasn’t the caring man I married. He was a mere shadow of him, cloaked in darkness.
“You don’t have money,” I reminded him.
A slow evil smile painted his lips. “Oh Nat. You paid my credit card remember? I have an empty credit card to use.” My stomach sunk.
“That sounds crazy, you know that, right? People don’t take money from credit cards that they don’t have.” I held myself upright and stared him right in the eyes. I will not falter. I will not falter.
“If you leave me no choice, I will use that money. Those are my children. Remember that. They don’t know my family, but I want that to change. If you leave me, it would make sense to take them to California to get to know my side of the family. I think Liam would love my father and brothers.” He stared me down. Little chips of strength broke off, eating at my strength, and the words in my mind sounded weaker. I will not falter. I barely believed them now. Mark’s father didn’t even live in LA. Mark was dilusional. Maybe his brothers had issues too. The thought of my children going to California to meet his side of the family made me sick. There was a reason Bella cut herself off from everyone. Mark was a cruel bastard. It scared me to think what the rest of them could be like.
Defeat crashed down on me like a meteor falling from the sky. He knew I’d never drag my children through court cases or allow them to go cross-country without me. He knew this about me, and yet he was saying he would do it on purpose.
“It would be best if we could be friends. Come to an amicable agreement for the sake of the children. You know a court case would fuck them up. Please, Mark,” I begged. It wasn’t below me for the sake of my children. I will not falter. Yet, it felt like he held the match and was waiting to burn my last thread.
“You want a divorce. That’s my divorce. Take it or leave it.” He stalked away to our bedroom.
I fell to my knees and cried. The clarity and calm I’d felt yesterday washed away like a Tsunami that left me drowning in the water. I am faltering. I am not strong. I loathed myself in this moment.
He stalked back into the family room and caught me on the floor crying. I lifted my head and got to my feet, not wanting him to see that he was breaking me.
“You will behave like a good wife, you understand? No more talk of divorce. It’s Christmas next week, and you will make sure our kids have the best Christmas ever, which means no hostility between us. Got it?” He pointed his finger in my face and spoke to me like an insolent child. I stared at him, but I was really staring through him. He began to walk away.
“You must be fucking crazy if you think I’ll put up with this. I can’t live like this anymore,” I shouted to his back. I wanted to take a vase and throw it at him.
He spun around and stalked toward me. “You want a war, I’ll give you one.” He stood tall and firm, towering over me.
“Mark, please. Think rationally about this,” I pleaded. I knew threats would never work with him. He was all about asserting his power now.
“You have a choice,” he snarled and stalked away again. Moments later I heard the shower turn on.
I went to the children’s bathroom and splashed some cool water on my face, but it didn’t take away the redness. I patted my face dry and went to the kitchen and drank a cool glass of water. Mark was fucking crazy. He couldn’t keep me hostage in this marriage . . . only he was doing exactly that. I knew he was verbally and emotionally abusive over the years, yet somehow I convinced myself it wasn’t so bad and I could help him overcome his demons.
I grabbed my purse and phone and left to pick up the kids from school, hoping the blotchiness on my face would fade by the time I arrived. It was better when I pulled into the carpool lane and Immy pulled behind me. Since we were early she stepped out of her car and walked up to the passenger side of mine and let herself in.
“Hey, what were you doing at the beach yesterday with Hayes?” She was laughing until she turned and saw my face. “Jesus. What the hell happened?” she asked, and I couldn’t speak because I was a dam waiting to burst, and it wouldn’t be just tears; it would be frantic cries.
I shook my head and whispered, “I can’t.” I breathed slowly. “Kids will be in the car soon. I can’t.” My voice was barely a whisper, the words clogging in my throat.
“Okay. Just relax,” she said softly, clearly attuned to my distress. “You need to meet me later.”
“I can’t.” I shook my head. I knew my husband. He would be suspicious if I left the house after that fight, and who knows what he would do then? I’d never seen him so threatening, yet a part of me must have always known it would boil down to this.
“You’re seriously scaring me, Natalia.” Her hand pressed to the middle of her chest.
“It’s fine,” I whispered. I couldn’t manage more than that.
“You need to tell me if you need help. You need to tell me what’s wrong.” I turned to look at her. Had she been expecting this one day too? Did she know my husband would turn on me? I honestly didn’t know what to do.
“Everything will be okay,” I lied. I didn’t know how I was going to get us
out of this mess and away from Mark, but I knew I needed to get away from him.
“I don’t know what to do. Do I call Shay? Do I call your parents?” She was rambling and nervous.
“No!” I didn’t mean to shout, but that would only make matters worse.
“Okay relax.” She placed a hand on my shoulder. “I won’t. I’m worried about you.”
I wanted to tell her I was worried about me too, but the kids began to leave through the front door and the teacher brought Liam and Lily to my car.
“Call me if you need anything. Promise me.” She gave me a concerned look and left the car.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Hayes
“Would you mind taking the kids to the backyard to play for a while?” Immy asked as we finished dinner. I didn’t know what was wrong but she’d only forked her plate during dinner and didn’t follow any of the conversations we were having. Lewis called her name three times before she responded to his question about making slime at home.
I couldn’t help but wonder if it was about Natalia. “Come on, April.” I gave her my hand and she waddled beside me. Althea and Lewis ran outside and went for the play gym. I took April to the swings and placed her in the toddler one. As I pushed her I sang a tune. It wasn’t a kid’s song but it would do. I kept eyeing the kitchen. Immy paced back and forth. She looked worried. Shay wrapped his arms around her, and she melted into him.
I texted Natalia earlier to say hi. She told me not to text her anymore, which I thought was odd after she promised me a kiss and told me she was leaving her husband. My gut told me that whatever upset Immy had to do with Natalia. It got my blood pumping hard.
The sliding door opened, and Immy stuck her head out. “Hayes, would you mind playing with them another ten minutes? I need to go out, and Shay is on bath duty tonight.”
FRAUD: A Romantic Suspense Novel Page 24
