Kei's Gift

by Ann Somerville

  “I did nothing to him. I’ve only ever wanted to help him,” Arman said, aware of how ridiculous that sounded, but wanting to say it anyway.

  “If that’s true, which I truly doubt, help him by leaving him alone. He doesn’t need you, general, or any of the Prij. He needs to go home and be healed. I don’t know what your relationship was, but you keep your hands off him, and your thoughts off him, and don’t make any more demands of him. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Quite,” Arman said stiffly. He thought about asking for the painkiller, but wouldn’t give this man the satisfaction. “There is one more thing,” he said as the captain turned to leave. “I understand you want some equipment from the people at Vinri to help my men feel more comfortable. I don’t want them to suffer unduly because of what happened to the Vinri hostages—and there’s an injustice there which needs righting. Will you arrange for me to speak to their clan head?”

  “I’ll consider the request. Right now, I’m not inclined to grant it—I think you’d do more harm than good.”

  “Then ask Kei to speak to him,” Arman said urgently. “He can give witness.”

  “I’m not going to ask Kei for anything from you that doesn’t directly concern your physical wellbeing, general. Now lie down and shut up, or I’ll have you gagged. I’m sick of the sound of your damn voice.”

  The man left and pulled the covers down again, leaving Arman in chilly, musty darkness, and in confusion. What had happened that had changed Kei so quickly? This wasn’t just the disapproval of his people. Arman wasn’t in the strongest position to find out. Still—that wouldn’t stop him, if it took him the next four weeks to discover it.

  Chapter : Return to Darshian 5

  Considering Kei spent the next four days assiduously ignoring him, and refusing to answer all questions Arman put to him, Arman was nothing less than astonished when, as he was taking his nightly period of freedom, Kei actually agreed to support Arman’s request to meet with the clan head of Vinri village. Tiko obviously wasn’t pleased as Kei spoke to him, but finally he stalked over to Arman, Kei behind him. “If I agree to this, you will have to deal with the consequences, general. If you whip up more hostility so we can’t even get food supplies, it will be your men on short rations.”

  “No, Tiko, I won’t permit that,” Kei said angrily. “They’re patients and prisoners—not combatants. If you do this, I’ll complain to the Rulers about you.”

  Tiko snorted in disgust. “You truly have the most inconvenient ethics. As you wish—but I don’t know where we’ll find the food for any of us, if this bastard manages to make the clan head even more angry.”

  “He won’t,” Kei said quietly. “He knows what’s at stake.”

  “We’ll see. I’m going to ask him to come out here, to avoid trouble. If he refuses, there’s not a thing I can do about it.”

  He stomped off towards the beasts. He would have to ride in as they’d camped further out from the village than at Ai-Rutej. Tiko was taking no chances of a riot.

  “Thank you,” Arman said to Kei.

  “I didn’t do it for you,” Kei said coldly, leaving him where he sat.

  He wished he could tidy himself, or put some actual clothes on, but he’d had a bare backside since he woke up in the hospital and could only wrap his cloak around him for modesty now. It was practical, considering his injuries, but hardly dignified. He looked a dishevelled, dirty, pathetic mess. Perhaps it would have some effect on the clan head’s sympathy.

  It was longer than Arman usually sat up before Tiko returned, and he was becoming both sore and tired. Still, he straightened up as proudly as he could as the two Darshianese walked towards them. Behind them, he saw Kei get up from the campfire where he’d been talking to the soldiers and come over to where Arman sat. “This is General Arman, Fejsik. Fejsik is the clan head of Ai-Vinri.”

  “Thank you for taking the trouble to see me, sir. I apologise for not rising.”

  Fejsik grunted. The man looked weary, marks of grief under his eyes, and his distaste at what he was doing was also clear in his expression. “You had something you wanted to say to me?”

  “Before I do, can I ask you whether there was any change in the military personnel quartered on your village before your forces took control?”

  Fejsik was surprised at the question. “No. The soldiers came for the second group of hostages and left. We were rescued two days later. Did you bring me out here to enquire about your men, general? I couldn’t have any less interest in their fate if I tried.”

  The man clearly wasn’t aware Arman knew. “I know what happened, with the dead soldier,” he said quickly. “Your people told me, and I believed them. I sent orders the soldiers who’d lied should be stripped of their rank and returned in disgrace, and offered my personal apologies to Gyu. But it seems it was too late to make a change to your situation. I wanted you to know that—my men, the injured ones here, need supplies and equipment, and I didn’t want them to be punished for the crimes of their fellows.”

  Fejsik sneered, looking at Tiko. “Not very subtle, is he? Of course he says what he likes now, but there’s still ten of our people dead. Am I supposed to lower our villages stores even further for the sake of this lying murderer?”

  “Fejsik, wait,” Kei said, coming forward, surprising Fejsik who hadn’t noticed him there. “I’m Kei of Ai-Albon, and was a hostage in Utuk in the general’s charge. I was actually present when he told Gyu of this, long before this mission was sent out.”

  “So? He wanted his people punished for deceiving him. How does that affect me or my clan? My daughter was one of those who died. Does this bring Myri back?” he shouted, his face contorting suddenly with rage and grief.

  “Myri was your daughter...I’d forgotten.” Kei whispered, looking stricken. “Oh, gods...I’m sorry, Fejsik, I saw her die.” He clutched at his heart, lost in his memories. “I’m sorry.”

  “Tiko, get him the hells away from here,” Arman said urgently. “He doesn’t need to feel this—please, for mercy’s sake.”

  Tiko grabbed Kei’s arm, but the healer pushed him off. “No...leave me alone,” he gasped. “Fejsik, please, listen to me, the general...he’s not lying, I swear. You don’t understand the risk he took, to offer an apology, to try to make some amends. I know he did what he could.... I know it doesn’t bring her back.” He reached for Fejsik’s shirt, holding the front of it crushed in his fist. “But he tried to stop it...he tried to make sure it didn’t happen again. Would I plead for this if he was playing a trick?”

  Kei’s anguished words clearly moved Fejsik. “You had to see it?”

  “He’s a soul-toucher,” Arman said harshly. “He did more than see.”

  “Shut up, you bastard,” Tiko snapped. “Kei, I think you should—”

  “No! I want him to understand...it was horrible, it was wrong... but it wasn’t his fault! Please, don’t make his people suffer for the acts of a criminal—that makes us no better than them. Please, Fejsik, don’t make Myri’s death the excuse for this.”

  Fejsik pushed Kei away from him gently. “My poor boy, don’t torture yourself—my sister is a soul-toucher. I know what this is doing to you. All right—for your sake, and yours alone, I’ll give Tiko what he asks.” He turned and gave Arman a cold, angry look. “But then you and your kind are forbidden from our village for an eternity. If you were starving to death, no one would give you a crust to eat. Understand?”

  Arman bowed his head in acknowledgement. “You still have my apologies for what happened, and my deep regret at the loss of your daughter and your people. It was a profound injustice. It shames me and it shames Prij.”

  “Who cares about your damn shame, you self-centred bastard? And your regret won’t bring my daughter back, or my people home, so don’t insult me by offering it. Tiko, take this lad away somewhere he won’t have to feel anyone for a while. I’ll arrange the stores. You can collect them in the morning on the way through. I wouldn’t linger if I were you.”
/>
  “Thank you, we won’t. Kei, come on.” Tiko put his arm around Kei’s shoulder and led him away to where the tents had been set up.

  Fejsik glared at Arman, then spat at his feet. “There really are decent people in the world. Pity they’re all Darshianese.” He stalked off in the direction of his mount.

  Arman had got what he wanted. But he wasn’t at all happy about the price he’d had to pay to get it—or rather that Kei had had to pay. He hadn’t wanted that at all.

  ~~~~~~~~

  “For the gods’ sake, Tiko, let me go—you’re not my father, not either of them!” Kei shrugged Tiko’s arm from his shoulder, and wiped his stupid tears off his face. “Oy, Neki, take three men and get the general back in the wagon!” Neki nodded and stood up from where he’d been seated at the camp fire.

  Tiko spun him around. “Look at that—it proves my point. Here you are a weeping mess because of what that bastard did to you, and your first thought is for him! You’re behaving like a lovelorn woman, pining for her man.” Tiko peered at him. “You haven’t fallen in love with the man who held you prisoner, have you?”

  “Oh, don’t be stupid!” Kei shouted angrily, backing away from the man. “Every single person but me forgets I’m a healer. I was raised to care about the sick and the helpless—that hasn’t changed because of the war. I can’t help it if everyone else wants to behave like animals.”

  Tiko grabbed his shoulders and forced him away from the suddenly very curious soldiers of both sides listening to their argument. “Keep your damn voice down unless you really want a fight on your hands. I have to ask this—did anything happen between you two? Did he... take advantage of you? Maybe rape you?”

  Kei stared at Tiko in horror. “Is that what you think it was?” He couldn’t help it—it was so ridiculous, he laughed half-hysterically until Tiko shook him again to make him stop. “Oh, gods—no, he never did anything like that. You have no idea what you’re saying. Just because he’s a murderer, doesn’t make him a rapist.”

  Tiko still had hold of his shoulders, which meant Kei got the full benefit of his worry. He really wished people would stop touching him without his permission. “So you accept he’s a murderer at least?”

  “If you mean he killed against the law, yes. But he doesn’t eat babies for breakfast.” Kei suddenly felt so tired and shaky—he’d been sleeping so badly, and then this thing with Fejsik—and seeing Arman’s eyes, so worried for him. “Look—I got to know the man very well. Good and bad. I saw his life, his family, his friends—I know him better than his own father does. Don’t expect me to think of him as a demon.”

  “I’m more concerned at your arguing for him against our own people. This is the second time I’ve seen it in a short space of time. It won’t make you any friends when you return home.”

  “Maybe I don’t damn well care,” he muttered.

  “Yes, you do, and if you don’t, then that’s a sign of how seriously harmed you’ve been.” Tiko made him sit down on a log. “I don’t understand you—you seemed to have turned against him yourself lately, yet you’re pleading his case with Fejsik.”

  “I was acting as a witness, Tiko. The truth is the truth.”

  “It’s more than that, my lad.” Tiko sighed as he sat down next to him. “You’re not sleeping well, are you? My men have heard you calling out in the night...what will help you?”

  Arman—but you really don’t want to hear that. “I need to get home, that’s all. If I can make it to Ai-Albon, then I’ll be fine.”

  “It’s getting you that far which worries me. You realise Ai-Darbin is next on our route. What do you think they will make of our little lord? Will you plead for him there? Because I warn you, feelings are running very high indeed over that incident.”

  “Yes, I know. That boy killed Arman’s best friend, a child himself. He was mad with grief over it. I’ve never felt anyone in such pain. I’m not saying the boy who threw the bomb wouldn’t have been executed anyway, because they deal with that kind of thing pretty ruthlessly from what I’ve heard. But how he did it was because he was insane, quite literally. I know it, Tiko. You can’t lie to a soul-toucher. And since I know it, hearing people describe him as a butcher and so forth, and knowing he’s tried so hard to be true to his own beliefs and to justice...I just can’t find it in myself to condemn him. I want to feel that way,” he said, pleading with his older companion, who meant only the best for him, “because it would mean I wasn’t clashing all the time with the people who mean most to me. But I know what I know and I won’t let blind prejudice change that.”

  “What a piece of work you are. How did a little place like Ai-Albon produce someone like you?” Tiko gave him a sad grin as he shook his head in disbelief. “Tell me how we can help you. You deserve what we can do.”

  “Just stop...abusing him to me, and tormenting him. Please. Treat him the same as the other soldiers. That’s all he is in the end. He serves his country same as you. It’s not his fault he has a bitch for a sovereign. He doesn’t blindly follow orders, but he also has very little choice in the matter. You don’t want to know how they execute traitors in that country,” he said darkly, thinking of the things he’d heard. “They’re a cruel race. But he’s not cruel.”

  “Healer, I asked about you, not him, although I’ll do as you say. How can we help you? What will let you sleep? Would it be best if you rode on alone to Ai-Albon? You could be there in two weeks if you rode the fastest beast we have. Would you like that? We can manage now. Even the general’s wounds are healing well.”

  Oh, gods, he was so tempted by this offer. “Let me think about it. I’d like to go as far as Ai-Darbin with you—with him,” he corrected defiantly. “Not to plead for him, but just to see. It’s not like the Ai-Vinri situation. I wasn’t there, I can’t stand as a witness. But I don’t want him hurt either.”

  “I won’t allow a lynching,” Tiko said sternly. “I’ve sworn to get him to Darshek safely, though I did tell him if I found out he’d hurt you, I would kill him myself.”

  “I would never allow that.”

  “I thought you’d say that,’’ Tiko said with a grin. “But my point is that I won’t let anyone at Ai-Darbin do anything to him. I swear it to you, whether you’re here or not.”

  “Thank you.” He clenched his hands to stop them trembling. “I appreciate your concern. There’s really nothing you can do, other than what you are doing. Being cruel to him hurts me, so stop it. Being cruel to anyone hurts me.”

  “I understand. You really should turn in. You look a mess.”

  “I feel pretty worn out, actually, but there’s something I have to do. Something I need to do.”

  ~~~~~~~~

  Arman lay in the fusty darkness of the wagon, arm over his eyes and wishing he could get some relief from the agony of his mind and his body. The soldiers had just dumped him in here tonight without a care to his comfort or even his warmth. He couldn’t really blame them for their disdain, but he wasn’t physically strong enough to bear it easily either. And to know he had hurt Kei again with this stupid arrogance of his, thinking the clan head of Ai-Vinri would be persuaded by apologies and talk of shame...the man was right, he was self-centred. And in the end, Kei had had to bare his soul in a way Arman hadn’t wanted to see, just to win a few damn supplies from them.

  He heard the flaps open. “Sir, I beg you, ask the healer for the pain drug. I can’t sleep tonight without it.”

  No acknowledgement but he felt the movement of the wagon and the flaps being closed. If he took the drug at night, perhaps he would get some peace—of late, that had been so hard to get.

  Some time later, he wasn’t sure how long, the flaps opened again. His visitor had no lamp, which surprised him, but perhaps they were all used to working in the dark. He felt a strong arm under his shoulders, and the cup at his lips. “Here, drink it.”

  “Kei?” He seized the wrist of the hand holding the cup, and forced it away from his mouth. “Is it Kei?”


  “Yes, it’s me. Take the pijn, Arman, I know you’re in pain.”

  “No, wait—why are you bringing it?”

  “Because I wanted to talk to you,” Kei said in a low voice, removing his arm. Arman sensed him move back a little. “I need you not to be suffering. Please drink it.”

  “It’ll put me to sleep, and I want to be awake if you’re talking to me. Please.” He wished he could see the man.”

  He heard a sigh, and a gentle clink of the cup being set aside. “I came to explain why I’ve been avoiding you. Why I must avoid you. I’m in such pain, I can’t sleep—”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was doing this to you.”

  “No, you don’t understand,” Kei said, his voice catching. “You’re not. The problem is that as soon as you touch me, hold me, the pain stops. When you hold me at night, or I’m with you, I’m at peace.”

  Arman couldn’t see why that was a problem at all. “So then let me help you. I want to—you know I only want what’s best for you,” he said eagerly. “Why won’t you come closer now?”

  “Because I can’t. Why don’t you take the pijn when you’re in pain, the way you’ve been every day this week?”

  “Because it’s addictive. Besides, I’m getting used to the pain...oh. Is that it? I take away the pain, so you can’t let me do so?”

  “Yes, that’s it.” Kei’s breathing hitched. “Tiko asked me...if I wanted to ride straight on to my village. Not going with the wagons anymore, but travelling fast by beast. I could be there over a week sooner.”