It was nice, sitting like this, now the weight of the negotiations was off his shoulders. Now he could hand responsibility over to other people, like Reji, who’d be in charge of the caravan getting people home, or Lord Meki who would make the decisions concerning south Darshian. Arman wasn’t needed any more. He could have stayed on Utuk to work with Lord Peika, who’d asked him to continue to act as a translator and advisor, but he couldn’t do that to Kei—or himself really. Even though he had real regrets at leaving Kuprij, he had none about being with Kei, and however apprehensive he was about how he would fit into Ai-Albon, it had to be better than enduring the endless scorn of his fellow nobles, and the constant reminders of his betrayal, which would never disappear no matter how much the Prij prospered as a result of this settlement.
It would also make life easier for his brother and father, not having their traitor relative always on display. He wished there had been time to see Tijus. He hoped his father was wrong about Temir but feared he was not. His father’s line was to die out after all. Once that would have caused him no regret at all. Now....
Kei nudged him. “Why are you so sad?”
“Thinking about my brother.”
“We could find a way for you to visit him, maybe.”
Arman shook his head. “It’s best if I don’t, for his sake. Besides, I have no idea how he’ll respond to all this, and I fear I’m not strong enough to be flayed again by someone I care about.”
Kei put his mug down and put his arm around Arman’s waist. “History will honour you,” he said in a low voice. “And the pain will ease.”
“History means nothing to me. I know the pain will ease, I just...don’t think I can endure any more just now. I’m a coward, I know.”
“Some coward,” Kei said with soft sarcasm. “Give me your leg, I’m going to massage it and then you can start your exercises again. If you and I are to ride to Fort Trejk, you need to be fitter than you are.”
“You want to do that here?”
Kei raised one fine eyebrow at him. “After last night, you’re worried about people seeing you do some leg raises?”
“You set me up. This was all part of your evil plan. Now if I object to anything, you’ll bring last night up and say nothing could be as embarrassing as that.”
Kei grinned. “Discovered, all of it. But it’s too late—now you’re a willing pawn in my hands.”
“Your own helpless hostage. However will I cope?”
“With aplomb, Arman. It’s the only way to go.”
Rearranging himself and putting his leg into Kei’s lap, Arman thought that was probably right.
~~~~~~~~
The ceremonies were over finally—not swiftly enough for Kei, seeing how even the brief exposure to the censure of his former friends and colleagues sent Arman into a depression again. The Rulers opted for a short but flashy entrance, having Jera and Neris float everyone over the top of the palace on a raft of fire, while Meda took the rain drops from the showers which had come over Utuk by noon and turned them into spinning balls over the heads of the crowds. It made quite a large impression, at least on the ordinary folk.
This time, the troops were left behind—it was now obvious even to the most stubborn Prij the Rulers didn’t need their protection. Instead, the soldiers and former hostages stayed on the ships, getting ready for departure. By the time Kei and the rest of the group returned, everything was in hand. All they needed to do was to wait for the tide and the smaller boat which would bear the Lord Commander and two senators along with the troop ship to Urshek, where the removal of Prij soldiers would begin.
Arman asked for some time alone, and Kei let him have it. In the meantime Kei had things to talk to Reji about, and to Jena. After Arman’s comment earlier, he’d paid more attention to those two and, yes, perhaps Arman was right. Reji definitely admired Jena, and they were getting on very well. More than that might come if they were to have more time together, but they would part in less than a week.
Kesa had agreed to travel to Ai-Rutej and stay there until Karik moved successfully onto the jombeker milk. Jena could have done it sooner, but she said she felt with the inadequate bottles (for the only ones available on the ship were those used for hand-rearing jombeker kids) and the stress of the travel, it would be troublesome to do that before they had stopped moving. Kesa didn’t mind at all. Kei and Arman were to travel to the fort and pass on Lord Meki’s command for the troops stationed there to move south as soon as Kurlik Pass was clear, and to ride back to an agreed meeting point on the road to Ai-Rutej with Vikis. He would then go with his wife to the village and there have transport for both of them arranged back to Urshek and then to Utuk.
In theory at least. Kei couldn’t help but worry Ai-Rutej would refuse to help at all, since Gyek and the others had been so unfriendly and two months longer without their people wouldn’t have sweetened their attitude. There was also the question of Ai-Vinri. Arman had been personally banned, as had all Prij, and that ban extended to babies as well as full-grown men. The former hostages on the ship weren’t hostile, but Kei couldn’t see any reason why they would argue Arman’s case strongly. That might mean splitting up the returning group.
Kei found Reji with the beasts, and Jena was there with the baby. “Aren’t you worried about the smell bothering him?” Reji had just finished putting out feed, and had mucked out again, but it wasn’t exactly fragrant in the hold.
“He needs to get used to it,” she said. “Urs beasts are a fact of life. At least they don’t stink of hypocrisy.
“No, they don’t. Where’s Kesa?”
“Having a rest. She had a broken night because of Karik. Poor girl, I’ll hate to see her go. You know, her mother probably died purely from the treatment she got from those so-called physicians, and her little girl could have been saved if you or I had been there. It’s just awful.”
Kei took a seat on a bucket, and asked to have the baby to hold. “You haven’t said that to her, I hope.”
“Of course not! But it infuriates me she and her brother were beggaring themselves to pay those leeches who killed their patient, and she’s grieving so much for her daughter. I’m worried about her. Even giving Karik up will distress her, not that she imagines he’s hers, but what her body does once she stops feeding him will remind her of her own baby. I tell you, it makes me glad I can’t go through that.”
“True,” Kei said seriously. “He’s really fair, isn’t he? Blue eyes too.”
“They may change, Kesa said. They may go green or even hazel. But he’s pretty enough.”
“For a Prij.”
She glared at him. “He’s not a Prij any more. I spoke to Lord Meki about it and he’s granted him citizenship too. He said if we keep recruiting Prij at this rate, he’ll have to set up an office to handle such things.”
Reji chuckled at that as he washed his hands in a bucket of water. “You never know—once they see how well we live, we might have to barricade ourselves against applicants.”
Kei looked at him. “You know that no Prij can settle in the north now, except by special order of a Ruler? It’s part of the treaty—they’re only allowed in Darshek and only with permission. The Rulers don’t want the dry lands ruined by overpopulation and the bastards breed like hisks.”
“Die like hisks, too,” Jena said scornfully. “I’m glad they’re being kept out. We can only sustain the population we have, everyone knows that. They should go to their undeveloped islands and leave ours alone.”
“Well, they might do after this, and maybe the Darshianese can help there. Jena, it does mean that Karik is likely to be the only Prij your people will ever see, and it doesn’t matter if he’s raised as one of us, he’ll always look different.”
“You forget Mina’s baby. And what about Arman?”
“Mina’s child will be half Darshianese and won’t look so different from us. Arman’s an adult and can fight his own battles. Will you be able to protect Karik from prejudice?”
&n
bsp; She took the baby back from him and then looked at Kei and Reji fiercely. “I’ll leave to protect him. I won’t let an innocent child suffer for what its parents might have done. Arman’s committed crimes, he knows that, and is prepared to pay for them. Karik’s done nothing and if my clan won’t accept that, then I will take him where he will be accepted, even to Darshek.”
“Well said,” Reji answered, and she blushed. “Arman might help, in a funny way. He wins people over without even trying to. If he’s accepted, then Karik might be too.”
“Arman doesn’t play games, that’s why. He’s honest with people, accepts the consequences of his actions, and accepts the responses to them. Not many people, Prij or Darshianese, do that so thoroughly.”
“True,” Jena admitted. “And he’s changed, or perhaps he’s shed the skin hiding his worth. He loved you long before he admitted it. It’s hard to hate someone that devoted to you.”
“Yes,” Reji said solemnly, but when Kei looked him, he only smiled. “It means he has impeccable taste, that’s all.”
“Yes,” Jena agreed.
“Stop, you two, you’re making me blush.”
Jena leaned over and kissed his cheek. “And very winsome you look too. You weren’t doing much blushing last night that I saw.”
Kei stared at her. “How...Neka? That’s rather rude of you.”
“Perks of my gift,” she said, poking her tongue out. “I never thought Arman had it in him. So to speak.”
“Has he? Had it in him?”
“Reji! I’m not going to tell you about our sex life!”
“Why in hells not? You’re apparently happy to tell him about ours.”
Kei’s face burned, and Jena looked utterly fascinated. “That’s different,” he mumbled.
“How, exactly?”
“Shut up, both of you, and keep your mind out of my love-making, you perverted woman. I don’t know if you should be allowed to have a child to look after, if you’re going to invade a person’s privacy that badly.”
She hooted with laughter. “Look here, it wasn’t me parading around on deck with his arse hanging out of his shirt tails and Arman’s cock half way down his—”
“Jena!”
“Leave the boy be,” Reji said, grinning hugely. “He’s got himself a brand new toy and he can’t help playing with it.”
Kei pointed an accusing finger at Reji. “You shut up. You were just the same with Peza, that time Myka and I walked in and found you two on the floor together. Ma said we should start carrying around buckets of water if we were going to visit you in future. In fact, if Jena wants to know—”
“Oh, Jena does,” she crooned. “Very much.”
Reji got up and grabbed Kei by the arm, hauling him up. “Enough, you damn brat, go and find the golden man and teach him that trick you do with your tongue and his ear.”
“Later...wait, Reji, I want to talk about the wagons!”
“Another time!”
Kei found himself dragged up the stairs and up to the deck. “You behave,” Reji said, slapping his arse. “You’re got your general, you leave me be.”
“Ah—so you do want to impress a certain lady healer after all?”
Reji folded his arms. “Is it your business if I do? I’m not your lover any more, remember?”
Kei frowned, then came over and hugged him. But Reji didn’t unfold his arms, or welcome the embrace at all. “No. But you’re still my dearest friend. Jena’s going home and she’s already got someone waiting for her. I don’t want you hurt.”
“Don’t worry, nothing can hurt me after—” He took a deep breath and tried to push Kei away, but Kei wouldn’t be shed so easily. “Let me be.”
“No...Reji, I’m so sorry,” he murmured, laying his head on Reji’s shoulder. “I really do still love you, and I miss you as a lover. I didn’t just say, oh, Arman’s with me, I’ll forget about you. Did you really think that I would?” he asked earnestly, looking into Reji’s eyes.
“You need to be with him and I need to move on,” Reji said gruffly. “That’s the way things are.”
“Maybe. But not onto a woman, who I also love dearly, who you can’t build a future with. I don’t want either of you hurt, and a casual fling.... Your heart isn’t ready for that, I can feel it. What can I do?” he asked.
Reji hugged him tight. “Nothing, little brother. Just be my friend and be happy. I’ll get over it in time, I’m not one to mope, you know that.”
Kei kissed him and not on the cheek, but tenderly on the mouth. Reji hesitated and then responded a little to Kei’s lips. “I know,” Kei said quietly, laying his face against Reji’s cheek. “Jena’s not the only woman out there.”
“I know that too. She’s just...she reminds me of you, but she’s also bright and funny in her own way. How could I not be attracted?”
“You can’t. But don’t lose your heart, Rei-ki. That won’t do either of you any good. Not that I don’t wish there was a way. I love Jena like I love Myka. It’ll hurt to lose her.”
Reji hugged him again. “Life isn’t particularly fair, is it? At least I don’t have to bear not seeing you again, even if you are the most annoying brat in the world.”
“But you love that about me,” Kei said, kissing him again. “Never will stop loving you. Don’t be sad.”
“I’ll try,” he said gently, pushing Kei off, and this time, Kei allowed it. “It’s just getting used to the change, and this...well, different regret. She makes the kind of impact you did.”
“But you didn’t want to sleep with me when you met me! At least I damn well hope not,” Kei said, looking at him with a little alarm.
“Of course not, you nitwit. But...you dove into my heart like you belonged there, like you had a right to be there. She’s the same.”
“Maybe she is...she did that to me.” He regarded Reji sadly. “I’m sorry for this too. Gods, I never meant to be the cause of such pain for those I love.”
Reji took Kei’s hands in his. “You’re not,” he said with perfect gentleness. “None of this is your fault, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Arman’s feelings for you helped him understand what he needed to do. Your love for him makes you glow. You’re happier than you’ve been since your parents died, even with all the sorrow you’ve had recently. And I...well, like you said, there are other people...I’ve met at least one already, so who knows?”
“I refuse to believe someone like you can’t be happy with someone else. If you’ve decided you want to settle down, you’ll find them, I know that. And you’ll always have me to talk to, to be at your back.”
“No, little brother, you really have to be at Arman’s back. But that’s all right. I don’t intend to let you walk out of my life,” Reji said. He kissed Kei’s forehead. “Now go away. Even if Jena is leaving, I’d still like to get to know her. We can talk wagons later.”
“As you wish.” Reji nodded and turned to go, but Kei caught his arm and tugged over for one last kiss on the lips. “I wish there had been another way,” he whispered.
“There isn’t. You’re coming home with me, with us, and you’re happy while you’re doing it. Don’t underestimate the joy that gives me. The rest...it’s bearable. It eases every day, truly. Once things settle back to normal, we’ll all be fine.” He smiled reassuringly. “Now, go.”
Kei watched him leave, his own deep regret threatening to overwhelm him. Just when he thought there might be an end to pain, there was more ahead. However much he might think they suited each other, he really hoped Reji wouldn’t give his heart to Jena. She would leave a great hole in it when she had to go.
He needed Arman. He wanted to hold someone close and be held for a while. That was all that would help.
Chapter : Darshek 13
Kei grew quiet as the caravan of hostages approached Ai-Rutej. Some of it was sadness about Jena, Arman guessed. But Ai-Rutej had upset Kei badly the first time he’d travelled through it, and even though circumstances were now different, Arman s
uspected he was still fearful of the same hostility. Some hate was inevitable. On that account, the hostages from Ai-Vinri were going to ride straight on from Ai-Rutej, since it was thought best not to strain the patience of the bereaved village. Reji thought their supply situation would hold up well without its help. It would still leave thirty former hostages to travel without break from Ai-Rutej to Ai-Darbin, a journey of ten or so days. Arman had his own reasons for apprehension about returning to Ai-Darbin, of course, but he would never shy away from it.
They reached Ai-Rutej in the late afternoon, and the pure joy at the return of their people meant any awkwardness over the presence of four Prij was glossed over. They were mostly ignored in the flurry of welcomes, and the Darshianese hostages were all swept away to be fed and billeted. Arman and Kei kept out of the way of the reuniting clan, helping Reji and Vikis settle the beasts and stow the wagons, while Kesa watched, minding Karik for Jena who had gone to find her lover. No one paid them a bit of attention for over an hour, but then Gonji came to find them and tell them to shift themselves, because a house was being provided for them all to share that night. “I’ll have to be with Pa and Ma this evening, but I’ll be here to help you stock tomorrow,” he said. “Don’t go sneaking off,” he added.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Reji said.
The village dealt with their foreign guests by not dealing with them. The house was laid out for them, with food in the larder, beds prepared and a cradle for Karik in which Kesa laid him down to sleep, but no one came to talk or to issue invitations to come eat with them. It didn’t surprise Arman, while Kei seemed rather relieved. Kesa and Vikis, so recently reunited, were still wrapped up in each other, but Arman had to wonder if they would be transported back to Urshek as Lord Meki had requested in letters given to Gonji for his father, or whether they’d have to be collected by the soldiers. He found he was a little worried for the safety of his former officer, and sternly told himself the Darshianese would not harm these two. They had already had hospitality extended to them. That meant, whatever the clan’s opinion, Vikis and Kesa would be protected.
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