“I think I finally grew up in New York and realized who you are during the hurricane,” she said solemnly. “You’re a great father, a good husband, and a wonderful man. I think I never realized it before. I was a total fool.”
“I might have been too. I never understood how much you might miss your single life and needed to have more fun than just being a wife and mother.”
She kissed him again then, and smiled at him. “I’m ready for that now. I wasn’t then.” He put his arms around her when she said it.
“So you’ll stay?” he whispered, and she nodded. “Will you move into my bedroom?” he whispered again.
“Tonight,” she whispered back. He could hardly wait while she went to give the girls a bath, and he helped her get dinner started. They had been cooking together every night till then.
He sent Ellen a text when he thought about it, to tell her, like a kid in a schoolroom. “Just asked her. She’s staying. Good luck in New York. Charles.” And she texted him back a few minutes later, “Bravo! Good move on your part, great decision on hers. Love, Ellen.”
And that night Gina kept her promise and moved back into his bedroom, and the good times started all over again, even better than before.
Chapter 11
When Ellen landed in New York, she went straight to her mother’s new rented apartment. It had taken her longer than she’d expected to clear customs, and she got there later than she’d anticipated. Her mother looked busy, and was dressing to go out for dinner with friends.
She had settled in nicely, and it was working perfectly for her. She even liked the location more than she thought she would. It was fun being uptown, and seemed more sophisticated and “grown up.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t stay forever, I promise,” Ellen teased her, remembering what Grace had said before, about their both needing their own lives, and Ellen needing her own home. She knew that her mother had already started the reconstruction work on the apartment downtown, although the building was still in bad shape. They had installed generators so people could begin repairs, but there was no electricity in her area yet. Downtown New York was not going to be rebuilt in a day. And Grace hadn’t changed her mind about moving back when it was ready, even if she was enjoying her temporary apartment uptown. “I have an appointment with the realtor this week. I want to find something unfurnished and bring my things over from London,” Ellen told her.
“That sounds like a big decision,” Grace complimented her as she watched Ellen unpack, and Blanche danced around their feet.
“It is,” Ellen admitted, and hadn’t been an easy one for her. “How does Blanche like it here?” she asked to lighten the moment, and her mother laughed.
“She thinks she’s an Upper East Side dog now. There are three poodles and another Maltese in the building—she’s right at home. I’ll never get her down to bohemian Tribeca again.” Grace smiled lovingly at her daughter, glad that she was there. She’d missed her during her three weeks away. After all the time they had spent together during the hurricane, she felt even closer to her than before. And it was going to be wonderful having her in New York and seeing her more than a few times a year. Even if they were both busy, it would be nice knowing they were in the same city, and could see each other casually for lunch or a quiet evening.
“Who are you having dinner with tonight?” Ellen asked her. She was happy to see her after the flight. Her mother reeled off the names of two couples she didn’t know, and Jim Aldrich at the end. Her daughter looked at her in surprise.
“Jim Aldrich, as in the literary agent we stayed with after the hurricane?”
“Yes,” her mother said primly. “I’ve had dinner with him a few times. He’s very nice. And we went to a benefit at the Met a few days ago.” She seemed mildly embarrassed about it, and Ellen laughed.
“Go, Mom! That sounds like fun.”
“It was. It seems a little silly, at my age, but he keeps asking me out.”
“He’s not much younger than you. Besides, he’s smart and funny, and you can do the Times crossword puzzle on Sundays.” Ellen loved the idea of her mother having a man in her life again after so many years. She was so busy and vital and interesting, it always seemed sad to Ellen that she was alone. And she was still a beautiful woman.
“He wants me to go to Art Basel in Miami with him in December, but I’m not sure I want to go.” She seemed hesitant about it, and Ellen encouraged her immediately.
“Why not? You’d have a fantastic time. It’s one of the best art fairs in the world. You should go with him.”
She made a face. “I’m too old for romance.” But the companionship appealed to her. It was exciting having someone to do things with, and they had many interests in common. Many of her women friends had begun to seem so ancient, and two of them had died recently. Grace was more active in the world than most, since she was still working and very busy, and had friends who were younger, and didn’t talk about their ailments and surgeries the way her contemporaries did. She hated that.
“He’s sixty-nine, Mom. He’s not thirty, for heaven’s sake. And you’re not too old. You’re younger than anyone I know.”
“I didn’t feel it a month ago. The hurricane really wore me out.”
“It wore me out too.” And so had George. Her mother asked about it when Ellen followed her to her bedroom while she finished dressing. She had already done her makeup and looked very pretty in a black silk skirt and white satin blouse. And she had done her hair in an elegant French twist. “The move out went all right,” Ellen answered her quietly. It had been hard and sad, which she expected.
“Did you see George before you left?”
“No, and I didn’t want to. I never heard from him, which is just as well.” It stunned her how fast he had exited from her life, and she realized now that in all the ways that mattered, he had been gone long before that, and already belonged to someone else. It was still a shocking blow, but she was glad she had left London and was back in New York. She needed to find an apartment, and an assistant to work for her. She hoped to find both in the coming days.
The doorman rang from downstairs while they were talking about it, and Blanche ran to the front door barking and wagging her tail. It was Jim Aldrich, and Grace told the doorman to send him up. She opened the door to him a minute later, and Ellen came out of her bedroom to say hello. He was pleased to see her and welcomed her to New York. He had heard from Grace what had happened to Ellen’s marriage, but didn’t mention it to her. He was wearing a good-looking navy blue suit, an Hermès tie the same color, and an exquisitely cut white shirt. He was very elegant, beautifully groomed, and his snow-white hair was perfectly cut. They made a very handsome couple as Grace put on a black fur jacket and picked up a small black suede evening bag. And she was wearing a new pair of high heels, since she had lost most of hers in the flood.
“You’re looking very uptown, Mom,” Ellen teased her, and they all laughed. And Grace was happy when she left with Jim, but Blanche was forlorn in the front hall. “It’s you and me, kid,” Ellen told her, and the little white fur ball followed her into her bedroom and jumped up onto the bed. Ellen had been pleased to see Jim Aldrich with her mother, and hoped she’d continue to accept his invitations, including the one to Miami in six weeks.
Grace came home at midnight, and said she’d had a terrific time with him and his friends. It was a very different life than the one Ellen had seen her mother leading for the past several years. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her go out all dressed up on a Saturday night. They had suddenly had a reversal of roles. Ellen was home, feeling like an old lady, and her mother was all dolled up and had a beau.
And the following day Jim was back again to take her to brunch. He had brought the crossword puzzle with him, and they argued over it for half an hour before they went out. Ellen hadn’t realized how much her mother was seeing of him. Grace never mentioned it on the phone. But she was happy for her. It added a whole new dimens
ion to her life, instead of just working day and night as she had before. There was clearly a man in her life now, not just an office and a dog. And with Ellen in New York, they could do things together too.
Ellen spent the day unpacking and getting organized, answering emails from Phillippa and her clients, and planning things she had to do, and the following morning, she met the realtor at the first apartment of several they were going to see. Their mission was a déjà vu of her looking for an apartment for her mother, but they had had no luck by the end of the first day, or even by the end of the week. Unfurnished apartments were a lot less charming than the furnished one she had found for her mother. And she was discouraged about it when she heard from Bob Wells on Saturday.
“I just heard from Jim that you’re here,” he said, sounding pleased. “I’m still working on the new book, and I hadn’t talked to him all week. Can I interest you in a walk in the park this afternoon? I’ve been holed up here all week and I need to get some air.”
“I’d love it.” And for once she didn’t have any apartments to see. She met him outside the Pierre Hotel, and they walked into Central Park, among bicyclists, joggers, people with babies in strollers, couples holding hands, vendors selling ice cream, and all the usual people one saw in the park. They were both wearing running shoes and jeans, and Ellen had worn a big Irish fisherman’s sweater in the chill October air. It was a lot cooler than it had been in the city four weeks before, when she left.
“What happened when you were in London?” he asked as they walked along. He had thought about her a lot after what she told him about George wanting a divorce, and how heartbroken and shocked she had seemed.
“Pretty much what I expected. He moved his things out. I moved mine and put them in storage. We called lawyers. It’s all done. He acts as if it’s been over for years, and I guess for him it was. Once he told me, and about the other woman, he canceled me out of his life totally. It was pretty shocking at first. And a huge change. I left London thinking I was happily married, and two weeks later, discovered I wasn’t, and was getting a divorce.”
And he suspected it still was shocking for her. It was difficult to accept when one person decided to close the door on the other. It had taken him a long time to recover, when it happened to him. She seemed to be surviving it surprisingly well. “I’m glad I came here. It would have been harder in London, if I’d stayed. He took all our friends with him. They were really his friends, but this made it very clear that they never considered me one of them.”
He nodded as he listened, sympathetic to what she said, and how much she seemed to have lost, an entire world.
“How’s the apartment search coming?” he asked, to change the subject.
“Nothing so far,” she said, looking discouraged. “What about your new apartment? Has my mother worked her magic yet?” Ellen asked with a smile.
“I’m waiting for a proposal from her and some plans. It sounds like she wants to gut it, which is probably what it needs. So I won’t be moving in for a while, if Jim can stand me. But it will be convenient living in the building while it’s in progress, so I can check on it anytime.” It sounded like a good arrangement to her too.
“I gather my mother and Jim have been seeing each other quite a bit,” she said cautiously, and he smiled.
“It appears that way. They’re sweet together. They’re both interesting people. I would never have thought of it, but they’re a good match. I should have introduced them before.” He didn’t say it, but Jim had been given to younger women for a long time. Grace was a departure for him, but the right one, in Jim’s eyes.
“She’s having a great time with him,” Ellen confirmed.
“So is he. He talks about her all the time.”
“I don’t think that she’s convinced that she should be ‘dating’ anyone, but I don’t see why not. And they have so many interests in common. And in the end, maybe good relationships are about companionship, not passion.” She had thought she had that with George, but apparently not. They had had nothing together, nothing that had lasted. Not even children. She noticed a stroller rolling by them with twins, and she looked away, as she always did. It was too painful to see, and a reminder of what she would never have. She had to give up on it, but had no idea how to do that yet. The reality still hurt too much.
“Relationships are always a mystery,” Bob said thoughtfully. “There is some kind of secret ingredient that makes them work. The ones you think will never make it usually do. And the ones that look like a sure thing wind up on the rocks. I can never predict these things,” he commented easily as they walked along. “That’s why I write thrillers, not romance.” They both laughed at what he said.
“Well, clearly I can’t predict it either,” she said ruefully, and he smiled at her. “I just watched ten years go up in smoke.”
“He wasn’t honest with you,” Bob reminded her. He had said that before, the day after George asked her for a divorce and she told Bob about it in Jim’s kitchen. “He should have told you when it started not to work for him, and given you a chance to fix it, or do things differently. It wasn’t fair to you.”
“I’m sure you’re right, but I think he finally found the right one for him. I tried to be, but I never was. So I’m out of a job, fired,” she said, trying to be philosophical about it, but she was still angry at him, and wondered if she always would be.
“He’s a damn fool,” Bob said softly, and offered her an ice cream cone to cheer her up, which she accepted. And he had one too.
They stopped at the model boat pond, and walked farther into the park, and then back down, and stopped outside her mother’s building. She didn’t ask him up, because she didn’t want to surprise her mother with a guest. It was why she needed her own place. Her mother was right.
“I’ll call you when I get a better grip on this book,” Bob promised. “I’m still wrestling with it. But maybe we could have dinner sometime.” She nodded and thanked him for the ice cream, and a minute later she disappeared into the building with a wave. And Bob walked back across the park to Jim’s apartment on Central Park West. He’d had an easy, pleasant time with Ellen. She brought something out in him that no one else did and made him feel comfortable in his own skin. He felt like he could say anything to her. He hoped to see her again soon. She had a lot on her plate at the moment with the shock of her marriage ending, trying to create a new life for herself, and moving back to New York. And he was busy with the book. But after she settled in, he would call her. He wasn’t sure what it would lead to, if anything, but at least they could be friends. He liked the idea of that. Writing was so much easier than relationships. It was so much simpler dealing with fictional characters and creating mysteries. But taking a chance on another human being terrified him, and had ever since his divorce. Ellen was the first woman he’d met in years who made it seem worthwhile to take a risk. And being with her felt surprisingly safe. He liked everything about her, except the possibility that one of them might get hurt. He’d been through it, and now so had she. But all he wanted for now, as he walked back to Jim’s apartment, was to see her again.
It was a relief when he got home to his typewriter and started to work on the book again. This was the one thing he knew he could do. He was masterful at it. And as he began typing, he pushed her gently from his mind, and reentered the world of fantasy he conjured up so well, where he could control it, and knew exactly how it would turn out. In real life, you just never knew.
—
Ellen saw eight more apartments the following Monday and Tuesday, all of them in good locations, on the East Side, where she was looking. Downtown held no lure for her, as it did for her mother. She wanted to be on the Upper East Side in a building with a doorman, with enough space for an office. She didn’t need a view or a showplace, but a place that felt like home to her was beginning to feel like Mission Impossible, until she walked into an apartment late on Tuesday, and the minute she saw it, she knew that was it. It was big and
sunny, in an old building in the East Seventies, facing south. It had big windows on a tree-lined street, and felt more like a house. The maids’ rooms in the back would make perfect office space for her and an assistant. And it reminded her a little of the house in London that she had just given up. It had an old-fashioned, European feeling to it, and her furniture would look right in it. There was a fireplace in the living room, and another in the master bedroom. It had a small dining room, with walls that had been painted dark red, and a cozy kitchen. She could see herself living there, listening to music, and reading by the fire on winter nights. She turned to the realtor with a look of relief.
“This is it.” She was home, and she knew it instantly. Apartments were like romance, you fell in love or you didn’t, and she just had. It wasn’t what the realtor had expected her to like, and they’d been looking in modern buildings since she’d arrived. Ellen could already envision the living room with fabrics in warm colors, and a comfortable couch. She needed to buy one, since George had taken theirs for the flat he was going to share with Annabelle. She didn’t want to think about it now. She wanted to leave the past behind her and start fresh.
She filled out the application before she left the building, and left a check for the deposit. The rent was even below her budget. No one had had the imagination so far to see what they could do with it. Its main attraction was that it was cozy. And it was available immediately. She could move in as soon as she was approved, and it was in a rental building, so she didn’t have to pass muster with a co-op board. All they had to do was check her credit rating. And she put on the form that she had owned her own home in London for five years. And in the box that referred to marital status on the application, she checked “divorced” with a sinking heart. She could no longer check “married,” since she wouldn’t be soon. It felt strange when she wrote it, and she looked sad when she handed the application back. But she was excited when she walked back to her mother’s apartment, and she told her the good news when she came home.
Rushing Waters Page 20
