by V. Vaughn
“I can imagine it, and I’m jealous of the guy, but I’m also mad at him for thinking he had a right to you.”
My jaw drops at his words, and I wonder if he has any idea how irrational jealousy is making him, but I snap it back shut and do my best to control myself. I need to keep my eye on the prize, and that’s going to Luke tonight. Getting angry with Zander won’t serve my purpose one bit.
When we get back to my place, we decide to watch a movie, and I do my best to concentrate on one of my favorite Christmas classics, but thoughts of being with Luke fill my mind. I relive every touch and sensation we’ve experienced together. Around nine o’clock, I can’t take it anymore, and the sheets are cool in my hands as I gather the linens for Zander’s makeshift bed on my couch.
After he’s set up, I retreat to my bedroom to read. I have to find a way to pass the time until midnight, when Gigi is due to arrive. She’ll be sneaking up the fire escape and taking my place until I return just before dawn. Hopefully Zander won’t feel the need to check on me, but if he does, a warm body will be snoring softly in my bed.
I gaze out the window and look at the colored lights in the trees that line the streets of my town. I should be thinking about what to bake on our annual cookie day next week with Opal and Gigi. Or getting excited about filling their stockings at Turning Heads with the trinkets I’ve picked out for them over the year. But instead all I can think about is how my mate is doing.
I believe werebear probably heal as quickly as werecougar do, but it kills me that I haven’t been able to nurse him back to health while he does. Rage pulses through me as I recall the explosion earlier today. My own kind wanted to kill my mate. I’m not sure I’m ever going to get over that. Sure, I know we deal harsh punishment for crimes, and that sometimes it’s death. But Luke’s only wrong was to be fated to be my mate. I feel as if I’ve been awakened to an evil I didn’t know existed. I realize that my life is never going to be the way it was before I met Luke, because my view of my clan has been shattered, and those cracks have revealed an ugly side.
I glance down at the town below. It’s dominated by humans, a species I never cared to be even if I do enjoy living in their world, and I wonder if perhaps there’s a reason for that. Maybe my destiny is to leave my clan for my mate, and we’ll live on our own where nobody will care about our differences. I inhale deeply to catch the lingering scent of Luke. I let it fill me with love as I picture his face. I climb into bed as I think about him. The bed I shared with my mate last night. I hug my pillow as I lie down to wait.
12
Somehow I manage to doze off, and when the creak of metal outside my window sounds, I bolt up in bed. I listen with my cat hearing for Zander and discover he’s breathing heavily as he sleeps. I gaze at Gigi as she climbs slowly in my window. She strips off her coat for me to put on and I notice she’s in pajamas that are identical to a set of mine, because we bought them together in a bestie moment. I grin at her. The streetlight illuminates her face as she holds her finger up to her lips before she hugs me tight.
I pull back and mouth, “Thank you.”
She shoos me away with her hand, and arctic night air greets me when I climb out onto the platform.
Metal chills my bare hands as I begin my careful descent down the ladder. The fire escape will deposit me behind a dumpster, and I plan to undress there before I shift and take off for the woods. Gigi texted me a map to Jim’s house, and it shouldn’t take me more than five minutes to get there. My heart is thumping against my chest as fabric rasps over my skin while I take off my clothes. I glance around to make sure nobody is watching my building, and I take comfort when I realize I’m alone in the alley. I guess I did a good acting job tonight and Zander’s friends all decided there’s no need to keep watch.
Shifting these days is always a relief. Living amongst humans means I don’t spend as much time in animal form as my cat would like. I stretch my feline limbs and revel in my powerful muscles as I take off running. It’s only a few streets before I get to the cover of the forest, and the sooner I get there, the better. It’s best I don’t alert any human to my presence as a cougar.
My feet thud rhythmically on the snowy forest floor and I breath in the frosty air in a form that has no trouble staying warm. I inhale it like an elixir. My cat isn’t the only one that misses the wilderness. As a cougar, my senses are even more heightened, and I marvel in my ability to see in the dark as twigs snap when I pass by them at lightning speed. I really need to shift more often.
I arrive at Jim’s cabin before I’m barely winded. But my heart races as I approach the door and shift back to my human form.
The door creaks open, and Jim hands me a shirt. “Hey, he’s in the back. Follow me.”
I slip my arms into the soft flannel as I walk past a simple room that makes up the living space. We approach what appear to be two bedrooms on the far side of the house, and the overwhelming musk of Luke makes me push past Jim to get to him. Luke is in bear form, and I’m taken aback by his enormous body. He’s asleep on the floor, and I move quietly to his side. Fur is slick with his natural oils and soft in my fingers as I stroke it. Emotions well up in me to make my eyes fill with moisture, and my throat gets thick.
I speak softly. “You’re magnificent.” A hot tear rolls down my cheek, and I gasp as a sob comes to the surface. I almost lost you.
I turn to Jim as he speaks from the doorway. “He’s going to be fine, especially now that you’re here.”
I nod as he steps back and pushes the door closed to give us privacy. Luke groans, and his eyes blink open. He shifts before me, and I try not to show my surprise at the raw red skin left behind from his injuries. Burns must have covered the majority of his body, and his hair is a singed mess. Fortunately, werebear heal as quickly as werecougar, and within a few days, he’ll look good as new.
Luke is on his knees across from me on mine, and he pulls me against his body in a rib-crushing hug. “Holly.”
Now my tears won’t stop, and I gaze up at him.
He takes my face in his hands and sighs. “The last twelve hours have felt like a lifetime without you nearby.”
I crush his lips with my kiss, and Luke returns it with the same passion. I drink in my mate as if I’m dying of thirst as my hands roam over his body. I’m careful to be gentle because his skin feels unnaturally smooth. The shirt I had on slithers down my back as Luke removes it. If Luke has any pain, he’s not feeling it, and when I get to his cock, I’m sure that was left undamaged. It pulses in my hand as I squeeze, and he breaks away, panting.
“I need to be inside you.”
“Yes.” I turn and lower myself on my forearms. He needs to be in control, and I’m happy to let it happen.
My mate grabs my hips and pulls my bottom up into the air. Luke lowers himself to swipe his tongue along my sensitive slit. I moan at the pleasure it brings.
“So sweet, Holly.” He licks again, and I arch back as he says, “I’ll never get enough of you.”
I whimper. “Please, Luke. Fill me.”
He growls as he slips his fingers into my channel. “I’m tempted to tease you, but I’m too needy for that.”
“Then do—” I hiss as he thrusts into me, and my core flexes around his shaft as if I can keep him inside me forever. “God, you feel good.”
Luke groans as he pumps fast. He drives in deep, and the wood floor is hard on my knees as I do my best to brace myself against the force. Our cries are loud, and it’s music to my ears when Luke’s growl comes. He begins to tense for his impending release, and it triggers my orgasm. I tremble as it quakes through me, and Luke roars.
Bones thud on the floor as we collapse in a heap.
My mate cradles my breast in his hand as he curls around my back, and his breath is hot on my shoulder as he says, “Now I’m sure I’ll live.”
I chuckle and twist around to face him. “We’ve got a few more hours for sexual healing.” I raise my eyebrows. “And I’ve got a few ideas of how
to play doctor.”
“Do you?”
I sit up. “Yes. But let’s try this on the bed.”
Luke stands and holds out a hand to help me up. His grip is strong and is one more indication my mate is just fine. I gaze at his burned hair, and he rubs his hand over his scalp as he says, “I think I need a trim.”
I frown. “That’s beyond help. How do you feel about a complete shave?”
Luke tugs me against his body, and his thickening cock twitches on my belly. “Later. I’ve got a naked woman in my arms and have more important things to do.”
I push him onto the bed, and the springs squeak as he lands. I lock my gaze with his as I move between his thighs and lower myself to my knees again. “So do I.”
Luke and I spend our time pleasuring each other before the alarm clock on the bedside table goes off at four to remind me that I’ll need to leave in a half hour.
I say, “As much as I don’t want to talk about this, we need to figure out what we’re going to do.” Luke is up on his arm and leaning over me as he traces my jawline with his finger. I realize that I’ll probably have to make a choice between life in my clan or life with my mate, and I wonder if we should try. “I think we should talk to Jacob.”
Luke shakes his head. “From what Jim and Mitch have told me, that’s only going to make sure you’re cast out. I can’t let you do that, Holly. You’ll lose Gigi and Opal. All the people who matter to you.”
He’s right, and I think it’s best if we just leave so I’m able to come back if I ever want to. I push Luke onto his back to hover over him. “Then we leave, because if we don’t, I lose you. You’ve felt what it’s like to be away from me. How would that be living?”
He shakes his head. “I can’t be why you leave your life. I’m sure being without me would get better with time.”
What is he saying? I think about how being with Luke has eased the discomfort I’d been experiencing. And in my heart I know he’s my Christmas magic. I don’t belong in Vermont any longer. I tense up at the thought of being apart as tears burn in my eyes.
“No.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Don’t you understand that you are my life now? Do you really want to be without me?”
“Of course not, but—”
“There is no but. I won’t live without you, Luke. I waited all these years for my mate, and now that I’ve found you, there’s no way I’m going to give you up.”
Luke’s love burns in his eyes as he stares at me. I wonder if he’s imagining life apart from his mate. He nods slightly as he says, “If you’re sure, baby. Come here.”
He pulls my head down to his chest, and I place a kiss over his heart. “I love you, Luke.”
“I love you, Holly. With all my heart.”
We make plans for me to return this afternoon so we can embark on the journey of the rest of our life. I leave with the sense that I’ve found my purpose, and I can’t wait to begin the adventure with my mate and my love, Luke Robichaux.
13
I sneak back into my bedroom with minutes to spare before the sun will rise, and it gives Gigi enough time to get home before anyone will be up to notice. The moment she leaves, I jump in the shower. As much as I’d love to keep the scent of Luke on my skin, I can’t tip off Zander. Hot steam rises from the scalding water as I scrub any trace of my mate and what we did from my body. I’m not sure if I’m punishing myself because I should have stayed with Luke, or if I’m preparing myself for the pain I’m sure awaits me as I break the ties with the people who have been important in my life.
I’m certain I need to have an exit plan in place, because one way or the other, I’m leaving.
When I emerge from my room, Zander sits up to stretch. He yawns loudly and says, “You’re up early.”
My emotions are too close to the surface to fake my way through breakfast with Zander, so I say, “Yeah, I had trouble sleeping. I’m going into the shop early and will stop for something to eat on the way. Help yourself to what you need.” My key clatters on the table by the door when I set it down. “You might as well take this, since I expect you plan to stay here for a while.”
“Just like old times.” Zander smiles at me, and it takes all my willpower to return it instead of letting my cat hiss at him.
I walk out. I breathe a sigh of relief as I jog down the stairs. I managed to get out from under Zander’s watch for a few minutes. Now it’s time to get my current life in order, and the first step is to talk to Gigi about signing over my half of the salon to her. I know I’ll be leaving her in the lurch, and I plan to make it financially worth it by taking only half of what we have in savings and letting her keep the assets. The hardest part will be finding a stylist to replace me, but I’m sure she’ll figure it out. My breath catches in my throat as my boots pound on the snowy sidewalk. Will I ever see Gigi again after I leave?
I think about Opal. While we’ve had our differences over the years, she took over when my mother died and treated me like a daughter. I love the woman and I’m going to miss her too. Suddenly the idea of leaving the two women close to me is harder than it was when I was lying in Luke’s arms. Am I making a huge mistake?
I stop by the bakery, and the aroma of sugary treats makes me recall how I’ve been coming here since we opened the salon. I eye the donuts in the case and decide to order a dozen to bring to the shop. It will make my Opal smile and perhaps soften the blow when I tell her I plan to leave to be with Luke.
When I get to the door of Turning Heads, I stand for a moment and reflect on the day Gigi and I opened up our dream business. I vow we’ll find a way to see each other with an annual girls’ trip of some sort, because I’m going to miss my best friend. The bell jingles as I push my way in, and it makes me think of the day I met Luke, not the day Gigi and I opened the shop.
The coffee maker has barely started to gurgle when the salon door opens again. I expect to see Zander when I turn, but it’s Gigi.
I smile as she approaches me and says, “I guess you couldn’t sleep either. You’re going to leave, aren’t you?”
I nod. “I want you to keep everything except half our savings.”
“Holly, no. You deserve more.”
I shake my head as I step toward her. “I don’t. Your friendship means everything to me, and I hate that I’m leaving you hanging like this.”
She grabs my hands. “Hush. You wouldn’t mind any more than I do. I’ll make things flush when I can.”
I tug her into an embrace. “You already do.” When we pull away, both of us have tears in our eyes, and I clear my throat to get down to business. “I’m going to need a few things, and Zander should be here soon. Could you go pack a bag for me?”
“Of course.”
“Feel free to take any clothes you want, even the red blouse.”
“Wow, you sure you don’t want Luke to see you in that?” She waggles her eyebrows before she says, “When do you plan to go?”
“I need to say good-bye to Opal. She’ll be in at noon, and then I’m on my way.”
“Let me get Mitch to pick you up so nobody will notice your car missing.”
“Clever girl. Would you mind selling that junker for me too?”
“It would be my pleasure.” Gigi has wanted me to get a new car for years.
“Thanks.”
“And one more thing.”
“Whatever you need,” says Gigi.
I think about the bags of wrapped gifts I have for Gigi and Opals stockings on a shelf in my hall closet. I’m sure it will make them sad to open them next week when I’m gone but I hope the memories will help them know I’m okay. “There’s two bags in my hall closet. Will you make sure to fill your stockings for me?”
Gigi tears up. “Holly.”
I blink in an effort to keep my tears at bay. “Don’t.” I hug my friend and whisper. “I love you so much. And I hope you only cry happy tears when you open your gifts.”
She swipes at her eyes. “You know I will.” She s
ays as Zander pushes his way in the shop.
I put on my game face and call out, “There’s donuts, and coffee’s ready.” I wink at Gigi and add, “The shampoo boy’s going to need his energy to keep up today.”
She chuckles as she walks to the back.
I spend the morning with regular clients and struggle with the knowledge that I may never see them again. So many connections are about to be severed, but the pain of leaving doesn’t cloud my love for my mate. I know in my heart that I’m supposed to be with Luke, even if it means turning my world upside down to do it.
Opal arrives right on time, and when I greet her I say, “I need to talk to you.” I glance over at Zander, who’s got Georgia, an older woman, at the wash sink, and she’s doing a good job of monopolizing his attention. I whisper, “Come meet me in the back room in a minute.”
She frowns at me but doesn’t ask any questions.
I walk by Zander and say to Georgia, “You treat my shampoo boy right. He’s new at this.”
She chuckles and says, “Honey, I don’t care how badly he washes my hair. I like having this supple thing pressing up against me. Can I take him home?”
Zander teases her right back about how he’d require home cooking as I leave them. I should feel guilty that I’m about to ditch him, but I’m not feeling charitable.
Opal comes to me within seconds and asks, “What’s going on?”
I flip on the water to drown out our words. “I’m leaving town this afternoon to be with Luke.” I hold up my hand as her eyes narrow. “This isn’t up for discussion. You know how badly I’ve wanted a mate, and while Luke is not what you had in mind for me, I know this is what I have to do. Please...” Hot tears roll down my cheeks, and I swipe them away with my hand as I say, “Just be happy for me.”
Opal’s eyes are glassy as she nods and opens her arms for me. I let her hug me tight, and she whispers, “Holly, I am happy for you. But my heart is breaking over the fact that you’re leaving for a bear.”
