“Coffee?” she asked as if she could blow off what transpired between us without an explanation.
I wasn’t about to let that happen, but coffee sounded good.
“Yes, please.” I stood and followed her, but she ducked into a room, and the door swung closed. A moment later, she popped out in a strappy, flowing dress without the tank top under it. Her back, neck, shoulders, and part of her chest were exposed, but the dress looked causal and kind of sexy.
“I’ve never seen you in a dress,” I said, impressed.
She shrugged. “It’s comfortable around the house.”
“So ... you kissed me.” I followed her into the kitchen.
“I have … episodes.”
I chuckled. “Random kissing episodes?”
She waved a hand at me like I was an idiot, and maybe I was.
“No, they’re like sleepwalking, but not quite. My body and mind still think I’m dreaming, but I’m up moving around.”
Suddenly things made sense.
“That’s why you have three deadbolts and a window nailed shut? You might want to consider something more effective, since you let me in so easily. Just saying.” I said teasingly. “But in all seriousness, it’s not a deal-breaker, just so you know. I mean, if you’re kissing every person who winds up on your doorstep, maybe, but sleepwalking isn’t going to send me running.”
She tensed up but continued to gather things to make coffee. I watched her measure the grounds, and when she turned around to face me, I sensed something still wasn’t right—my need to fix things kicked in. I was a fixer and a pleaser and a teaser. Those were some of my superpowers. I had others, but I’d have to get her naked to show off those skills.
“Are you telling me you dream about kissing me?” I arched a brow, and her lips twitched. “Because if you were dreaming and pulling me into the house and onto the couch and begging me to kiss you—”
“I didn’t beg you!”
Her indignant tone didn’t help her case, and I held back a smile while leaning in close and whispering. “Kiss me.”
She laughed and pushed me away. “It’s not my fault.”
“No one would blame you for wanting to kiss me. How often do you dream about locking lips with me?” I loved razzing her, especially when her cheeks heated to a delicate pink color.
She shook her head and turned back to the mugs she’d taken out of the cabinet. “We are not having this conversation.”
“Oh, you dream about kissing me all the time.” I stepped in so close I could smell her fresh scent and the hint of coconut in her hair. Gently grabbing her hips, I leaned in close. “Would you say every night?”
“Stop it.” She pushed me away with a laugh, and I couldn’t help but mimic the sound.
“If it makes you feel better, I think about kissing you too.” It wasn’t a lie. I was head over heels for this girl, and I knew it. Even finding out about her odd sleep issues didn’t deter me or diminish my desire for her company.
“I’m sure you do,” she said, rolling her eyes with an exasperated—though playful—sigh. “I’m sorry I worried you.”
“I’m sorry I intruded on you like this, and that I didn’t realize something was up sooner. I apologize for letting things progress beyond what you might have been comfortable with.” The nagging thought that things could have gone further between us worried me. When I made love to Miranda, I wanted her to be present.
Her cheeks went from pink to red. “Well, let me assure you that if things had gone further, I wouldn’t be upset.”
The words hit me like a baseball bat to the daddy bag, and I exhaled a slow, painful breath. I’d let that comment go and would think more about it later.
“Sorry, the honesty seemed necessary. You don’t need that kind of guilt knocking around upstairs.” She tapped my temple with a gentle fingertip.
“No, it’s fine.” My voice sounded too strained for her to believe.
The aroma of coffee filled my nose, and she quickly poured both mugs. While she prepared hers, I took a sip of mine. The hot sting helped move the thoughts and blood away from my belt region and back to my brain. “You look like you haven’t been sleeping well.”
“You’re right. I have trouble sleeping sometimes. It comes and goes in waves.” It was the most candid she’d been with me, and I liked it. We headed into the living room and settled on the couch with our coffee.
“You wouldn’t believe all the places my head went from car accidents to shower slips,” I needed to clarify that comment. “I know you get tired after those double shifts, and stuff can happen.”
She nodded and then stared at my lips. “Bayden, I want you to kiss me again.”
Chapter Eleven
Miranda
Bayden cleared his throat, lowering his coffee.
“Nobody likes black coffee.” I nodded at his cup, and he lifted his shoulders.
“Considering our conversation, I could take a double shot of something stronger.” He peered into the cup as if it contained all the answers, and I couldn’t help but tease him a little.
“Like espresso? I don’t have anything that fancy.” He meant liquor, but I enjoyed seeing him off balance. It was unlike the Bayden I thought I knew. He’d always been a confident-leap-before-looking type, but he was oddly delicate with this subject.
He shook his head and took another sip. “You know, I’ve never even had an espresso.”
His gaze met mine, and I tried to figure out if the turn the conversation had taken made him change his mind about kissing me again.
I resisted the urge to let my shoulders curl forward and pulled them back to sit up taller.
“I have, but only the ones out of a can. They’re good, unlike energy drinks. Those things taste like battery acid.” I smiled and took another drink of my coffee. The Irish cream dulled the bitter coffee, and the last remnants of sleep cleared like fog burned off by sunshine.
He nodded, leaning back and showing off those powerful arms and shoulders of his. Curiosity filled me. What would he do if I leaned in and kissed him? I wasn’t modest or a prude by any stretch, but I wasn’t sure that pressing my luck was a good idea. My push and pull behavior was likely giving him whiplash.
“I don’t drink energy drinks; bad for the heart.” Sadness edged into his eyes, and I wondered if there was some painful memory there. I didn’t want to dredge any of that up at the moment, so I nodded silently instead.
“Are you hungry?” I asked him. Unable to help myself, I added, “I mean, when you wake up with someone, isn’t it customary to fix them breakfast?” With a wicked smile, I watched him choke on his coffee.
“We woke up together?”
I lifted a shoulder. “Kind of. I mean, you were here when I woke up. I would have liked that to have started and ended differently.” While I was feeling bold, I continued. “It’s no secret that I’m attracted to you. We went on a date. We’re both adults. There is a natural progression to things, right? Sex and waking up together is part of that.” Was my lack of knowledge in this department backfiring on me? I’d never held down a serious relationship before.
He nodded. “You’re right. I guess I didn’t have expectations. Hope, yes. Expectations, no.”
“Disappointed that it went differently?” I was asking because I wasn’t sure he was.
He shook his head. “No, not at all.” With a smile, he took another drink. His cologne tickled my nose, and I breathed him in. I wanted him to kiss me again. I did. His kisses were heated and passionate and made my heart beat a little too fast.
But it was wrong, too. I was leading him on because I knew there was no way we could be together. His wants and needs were too much for me. We desired different things out of life, and to continue pushing forward was dishonest and cruel if I could never give him what he wanted and needed. The selfish side of me wanted him just once, even though I knew I wouldn’t be good for him. Still, I craved another kiss. Surely, one more couldn’t hurt.
Ho
wever, something was off, and he knew it. But instead of pressing forward like most men would, he stopped. Sex wasn’t the only thing on his mind because he cared for me.
Someone so intuitive had to be a fantastic lover.
The fact I liked him a lot didn’t help clear up the confusion swirling inside me. I wanted to be with him, and not only for kissing and sex. There were certain parts I couldn’t handle—kids. I wasn’t ready to explain my family situation and didn’t want to cheat him out of something so important. I knew how much family meant to him, and not having one of my own to bring into his life would be unkind.
“You’re thinking some heavy thoughts.”
I glanced up as my teeth bit into my lower lip, and I sucked on the stinging flesh.
“Yeah.” I smiled at him, then continued to worry my lip.
“Want to talk about it?” His soft expression warmed me right up,
“No,” I said, then I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.
He stiffened, then relaxed as I wound my arms around his broad shoulders. His hands found and rested on my hips as his warmth sank through the thin material of my dress and into my skin. The contact encouraged me to lean closer until I pressed myself firmly to his body. Excitement flared through me, and I let out a soft mewling sound.
“Are you sure you want this?” he spoke against my lips.
My voice stuck in my throat, so I whispered my response. “I’m sure.” I’d never been so sure of something in my life. Shoving aside that little nagging voice that told me this was wrong and I should stop, I kissed him again.
His arms felt like home, and the coffee flavor on his tongue added a different richness to the kiss. My entire body hummed with desire, and I gave in to the overwhelming sensations.
I leaned back for a second. Bayden’s questioning gaze cleared up as I offered him my hand. His warm fingers wrapped around mine, and I rose and led him through the house toward my bed.
In my room, I turned to face him. Pulling him in closer until the bed was behind us, I gave him a gentle push. The fire in his eyes and the hunger in his features had my stomach flipping and falling. Without hesitation, I moved in and straddled his lap while he sat there on the end of my bed, his arms planted behind him for support.
Whatever was between us wasn’t going away. It had to run its course. I just hoped we wouldn’t crash and burn.
Loving the warmth of him and the thrill of straddling his lap, I attacked his mouth like a starving woman. His pants did nothing to hide his arousal, and that sent my pulse racing until all I could hear was the pumping of blood in my ears.
He pulled back. “Are you nervous?” he whispered.
I swallowed hard. “Does it show?” I’d been doing my best to be calm and in charge.
“You’re trembling.” His eyes met mine before lowering to my lips again.
“I’m a little nervous.” Saying the words out loud eased the tension knotting me up. “But I don’t want to stop.” The physical intimacy wasn’t the problem; my secrets and the fact that I wanted more than sex with him but knew we were incompatible as a couple were the problems.
Shoving those troubling thoughts aside, I pressed a hand flat to his chest and pushed him gently. He took the hint and relaxed on his back, looking up at me with undisguised lust.
I peeled my dress up and over my head and tossed it aside. Turning back to him, I caught the stunned look on his face as he took in my nakedness. “You’re looking at me like you’ve never seen someone naked before.”
“If that were true, I could die a happy man only ever having seen you.” His whisper did something to my insides, and I melted. Bayden was pure temptation. It should have been a crime for him to say something so sweet. He gave me something I hadn’t had in a lifetime … hope. Hope was a dangerous thing for a woman like me. Hope made the impossible seem possible when I knew it could never be.
Being with him like this should have been uncomfortable or embarrassing. I mean, how long had it been since someone saw me naked? But I didn’t feel awkward or worried. With Bayden, I felt safe and warm and loved.
I let out a squeal as he bucked, rolling us over on my bed. With his body leaning over me, I felt intoxicated as I gasped with anticipation. He reared up and peeled off his shirt. I sat up to run my hands up the expanse of his well-defined pecs. At the touch of my fingers, his muscles bunched and coiled. The guy was built like a gladiator, and I wanted to kiss every inch of him.
He leaned forward and grazed my lips with his. His belt clanked slightly, and the sound sent electric tingles through me. A moment later, the sound of a foil wrapper tearing filled me with warmth. I watched as he rolled it on.
He lowered himself on top of me, and I wound around him. My arms looped his shoulders, while my legs tucked around his hips with my ankles locked behind his thighs.
As he pressed into me, his tongue worked circles around mine. I let out a whimper at the overwhelming sensations. Our bodies fit and moved like we were made for one another. For a second, I wondered if maybe we could make it work. I mean, he used protection. It’s not like he was hell-bent on kids right now.
I buried that notion because someday he would. Clinging to him as tears stung my eyes, I let myself get lost: in him, his touch, the ache in my heart, and the heat of the moment.
“You’re amazing,” I whispered, needing him to know.
He let out a growl and nuzzled into my neck. “And you’re perfect.”
He was wrong. So very, very wrong.
We moved together as emotions overwhelmed me. Deep down, my heart begged me to make us work even though I knew it wouldn’t.
“I need to love you.” The low timbre of his voice tightened my core, and I couldn’t hold back the pleasure screaming through my body. I clung to him, safer at that moment than I’d ever felt before. He held me, his warmth surrounding me as his skin pressed to mine.
An awful feeling chased the pleasure. He was here with no lies and no half-truths. Now that I’d had a taste of Bayden, could I ever give him up? Could I walk away? The thought hit my heart like a bat to a ball.
He groaned low in his throat, his entire body stiffening. I held him close, burying my face in his shoulder, and filling my lungs with his scent. His heat warmed me; his heartbeat danced with mine, and everything was perfect.
Except … it wasn’t. It was all a beautiful lie.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded, my heart breaking in my chest.
He pressed his forehead to mine. “I know you’re struggling,” he said, planting a quick kiss on my lips. “But I will always be here for you. I want to be a constant in your life, and I won’t waver. You deserve someone who will lift you up and protect you, and I want to be the man for you.”
My throat tightened and closed. Bayden was so much more than I could ask for. I will never know why I was lucky enough to receive his devotion, but it wasn't fair for him to be saddled with someone like me. I knew letting him go would be hard, but damn he made it nearly impossible.
Without bothering to pull away, he kept talking in that low, calming voice. “I’ll wait as long as you need me to. I’ll wait until you’re ready to be mine. Please don’t try to push me away because I am not going anywhere.”
Chapter Twelve
Bayden
Miranda grabbed my collar and pulled me in for another quick kiss. “I want to call off work,” she whispered, smiling as she stared up into my eyes. I stood by her front door, wanting nothing more than to stay with her. But she had her career, and people depended on her.
“I’d like that, but one of us has to be responsible.” I kissed her again, and her smile widened. My time with her had been short, but mind-blowingly incredible. Work called her in for something minor. She didn’t share details, and I didn’t press.
“Oh, and you’re the responsible one?” She leaned her delicious body into me, and the urge to pick her up and carry her back to bed hit me with the force of a runaway freight train.
> “You sound like you think I’m irresponsible.” I nuzzled my nose into her neck. “I’m sure I talked you into fixing whatever issue they were having.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “You talked me into it?”
She would not let me off easy. “Yes. You told me you didn’t want to go.” Neither of us wanted to untangle out of bed and get up, but I knew her work was critical to her and the town. I didn’t want to be the reason she didn’t get things done at work.
“Hmm…” she said, winding an arm around my shoulders as if she had no intention of letting me go now or later.
“Get to it, warrior woman.” I gave her another kiss and unlocked each of the bolts on the door before stepping out.
Her hand snagged the back of my shirt, and I turned in time to catch her as she flew into my arms. She clung to me, her arms and legs wrapped around me like she was afraid if I left, I’d never return. I loved this playful side of her. Sheriff Miranda differed significantly from the Miranda I had the privilege of enjoying all afternoon.
She finally unwound from my grasp, and I set her gently on her feet. Cupping her cheek, I leaned in slowly and planted one more kiss on her lips. With a smile on my face and a light step, I pivoted and headed for my truck, swinging my keys the whole way. When I glanced back, the smile on her face was broad, but it didn’t reach her eyes. There was something sad in her expression that worried me.
I’d meant what I said. I would wait as long as it took for Miranda to come around and tell me what had her so sad. Turning over the engine in my truck, I backed out of the driveway and pointed the tires toward home.
The phone rang, and I answered hands-free. “Hello?”
“Bayden!” Kandra sounded exhausted and happy.
“Uh-oh, I’m not the first person you’ve called.” I didn’t care, but the relief in her voice said she’d been trying to get hold of someone, and I was the first to pick up.
“We tried both our moms. After them, you were next.” She let out a tired laugh. “Would you mind watching the baby for us? If I don’t get a shower and a nap, I’m sure I’ll die.”
Fearless Hart (A Cross Creek Small Town Novel Book 2) Page 7
