Jeremiah was never one for church, but today the service seemed especially interminable. Somehow he managed to keep himself from pulling the watch from his pocket so he might check the time, but it took severe strength of will. And after this there was still lunch at Nathan’s house to get through. It had become something of a tradition for him to go to his siblings’ homes for Sunday luncheon, visiting them in turn throughout the month, and so to cancel would be certain to raise a few eyebrows. He had been as circumspect as possible at the dance the night before, making sure he danced with women other than Lorena — and also ensuring that she did not lack for partners as well — and yet he knew people were talking, among them his own family members. If he did not show up for lunch and instead went to see Lorena immediately after church, then he would have far too many uncomfortable questions to answer.
Besides, there was Jacob. He sat next to his father in church as solemn and quiet as ever, but he had not liked that Jeremiah had gone to the dance. Any break in routine was met with suspicion, and when the break was due to interference by a strange woman — well, that made it doubly worse. Or at least Jacob would see it as interference, even though Jeremiah had been the one to initiate the contact with Lorena Simms.
They had all been so hopeful when Jeremiah married Miss Baker. He had been hopeful, too, had thought that Nizhoni’s fevered ravings were only that — the ramblings of a woman on her deathbed, nothing to be taken seriously. He had not felt for Letty Baker the sort of passion he’d shared with his Navajo wife, but she was attractive and clever and lighthearted, someone he’d thought would make a good mother for Jacob. But then she had died of a fever, some six months gone with child, and Jacob seemed to understand before Jeremiah did that this was their life now, that Nizhoni had made sure no one would ever take her place.
And Miss Terrell…truly, at first Jeremiah had not thought to approach her at all, even though she was such a pretty thing, with a head of pale golden curls and big eyes as blue as the sky. Come right down to it, Charlotte Terrell had actually been the one to do the pursuing. She hadn’t heeded her aunt’s advice to stay away from him, and, faced with Charlotte’s determined pursuit, he’d tried to tell himself that Nizhoni’s curse had nothing to do with Letty’s death, that women died of fever brought on by pregnancy all the time, especially out here on the frontier, where good doctors were scarce and hospitals something that had been left behind with the rest of civilization.
But when the same thing happened to Charlotte, this time after only four months of carrying his child, Jeremiah knew he was well and truly cursed, that Nizhoni’s tremendous power had somehow lived on after her death. And there didn’t seem to be a damn thing he could do about it.
Which was why, even though he would miss her, he was glad that Lorena Simms would be getting on the train bound for San Francisco tomorrow. She would be safely out of his life, and he could hold on to a few bittersweet memories — the way her slender body had felt in his arms as they danced, the curve of her beautiful mouth, the wicked glint in her dark eyes when she found something he said amusing.
Probably it was a mistake to have asked her to spend the afternoon with him. He would end up yearning for something he could never have, tortured once again by the realization that no matter how well suited a woman might seem to him on the surface, if he cared for her at all, he must let her go.
But then, she already planned to go. So what difference could a few stolen hours make?
One good thing about traveling — no one expected her to attend church. Back in New York she couldn’t escape, must pay lip service to the conventions, even though she harbored the heretical thought that God had abandoned her entirely…but here she was a stranger. She could have a leisurely morning, a breakfast so late it might as well have been lunch, and then still have plenty of time left over to get ready for her outing with Jeremiah Wilcox.
How correct he had been as he walked her back to the hotel last night, how formal and proper! Only the barest touch on her arm, and then a tip of the hat as he said good night. Yes, he lingered at the foot of the steps after they had made their farewells, but only long enough to make sure that she was safely inside.
And yet she’d known that he’d behaved in such a fashion because he was holding himself in check. He did not want to be forward, or do anything that might cause her awkwardness. She had sensed his reaction to her every time they danced together, but afterward they might as well have been strangers.
So she was not quite sure what to expect of Mr. Wilcox this afternoon. They would be walking in a public place, not the sort of location to encourage any intimacies. Even so, she knew she would never pass up the chance to spend some more time with him before she resumed her journey west.
Now she was ready, wearing her favorite day dress, the dark wine-colored one with the black trimming. Josie had pinned on her hat at a particularly becoming angle, and a pair of dancing jet earrings seemed to echo the glint of her eyes. Her shawl and parasol and reticule waited on the small table near the door, so she might pick them up on her way out.
Just as the night before, the maid knocked on the door to let Lorena know that Mr. Wilcox was waiting for her downstairs. Almost at once her heart began to beat more rapidly, although she tried to tell herself that it was silly to react in such a manner, as if she was a young woman on her way to meet her very first suitor, rather than a woman of almost thirty, with a husband still to mourn.
However, she didn’t want to think about Walter. Not right then. Certainly no one could view this as a betrayal, not when so many years had passed. Widows moved on all the time, finding new partners with whom they could share the remainder of their lives.
You honestly don’t believe you’re going to share the rest of your life with Jeremiah Wilcox, do you? she scolded herself as she descended the stairs. This is a pleasant diversion, nothing more.
The problem was, as she gazed across the reception area of the hotel and saw him standing there, she realized that while her mind might want to think of all this as merely a diversion, her heart knew it was something far beyond that.
“Mr. Wilcox,” she said pleasantly as she approached him. “I do believe you are something of a prophet, for although this morning was rather cloudy, it cleared up and became fine just after lunch, as you said it would.”
“I can take no credit for that,” he replied. “Since all I had done was repeat what the almanac told me. But I thank you for your faith in my powers of perception.”
There it was again, that dancing light in his dark eyes. It made her happy to see him react in such a way, for in repose his expression could be quite melancholy, as if he brooded over events in his past that he had no power to change.
“Well, let us put the fine weather to the test,” she told him. “How far is this Wheeler Park?”
“Not so very far. Only a few blocks, although in the opposite direction from the school where we danced last night. Shall we?”
He offered her his arm, and she took it gratefully, glad to feel once more the strength of the muscles under the fine black wool. Today he was dressed much as he had been the night before, in a long frock coat and silk vest, although this vest was of soberer hues, a fine brocade in black and dark silver-gray. A cameo framed in silver ornamented the silk tie he wore, and a silver watch chain stretched across the front of his waistcoat.
Once again she thought of what a fine-looking man he was, with a profile that would not have been out of place on a cameo itself. As soon as they were outside, he put on the black felt slouch hat he carried, and Lorena opened her parasol. The sun was fiercely bright, the sky brightly blue, with only a few clouds ringing the top of the high peak Jeremiah had called Mt. Humphreys.
They were certainly not the only ones who had ventured forth to enjoy the clear October weather. The streets seemed more crowded than on the day before, as if the residents of Flagstaff had decided to make their “day of rest” one that included a good constitutional.
The paths in the park also had their fair share of Sunday afternoon walkers, but not so many that Lorena and Jeremiah couldn’t find a stretch that was mostly unoccupied. They walked in silence for a few moments. Lorena wasn’t sure what might be passing through Jeremiah’s mind, and she didn’t quite know the best way to open their conversation. In the past, it had seemed so easy to flirt and talk lightly on matters that were of no great concern, but she realized she didn’t want to flirt with Jeremiah. She wanted…well, what she wanted was probably impossible.
As to what might be passing through his mind, she wasn’t sure she really wished to know. In that moment, she found herself all too aware of how close they stood, even though a proper distance separated them. No one could have found anything objectionable about the way he guided her along the pathway. And yet it still felt so terribly intimate, as if something about his presence had awakened nerve endings she didn’t even know she possessed.
At last she found herself compelled to say, “Goodness, it seems as if all of Flagstaff is out today!”
He glanced past her to the other couples strolling along the paths, to the families clustered by the pond so their children might set wooden boats to sail on the water, or look for smooth stones for skipping. Despite the clear skies, the air had enough of a bite to it that even the young ones didn’t appear inclined to take off their shoes and go wading.
“They know winter is on its way,” he said. “Soon enough it will not be comfortable to stay outside for very long. The storms we have here are not like those in the northeast or the midwest, where the skies can be gray for weeks at a time. We have our snows, and then the sky shines blue again. Even so, there are many days when it can be treacherous to venture forth, especially for those whose homesteads are outside the town limits. We do try to keep the main roads here plowed, but there is only so much those crews can do.”
Lorena tried to imagine the landscape around her thickly blanketed with snow, the aspens bare of their shimmering golden leaves, the pines and fir with their own frosting of white. A shiver went over her.
“Are you chilled?” Jeremiah asked.
“No,” she replied at once, shaking her head. “I was just thinking of what it might be like here in the winter. You say it can be hard, but I think it must be beautiful.”
“It can be,” he said, his tone softening. He was looking down at her, rather than at the park around them.
Her breath caught, but she forced herself to say, “What is beyond that stand of sycamores over there? More of the park?”
“Not exactly. You will find that the wild-land encroaches on our safe little areas here in town. That is the beginning of the forest. The land slopes up past there, although it’s difficult to see when the trees are still in leaf.”
Driven by a sudden impulse, she said, “Show me.”
He gave her modish walking-out gown a dubious look. “I am not quite sure — ”
“Just a little ways in. Enough for me to see something of the forest itself.”
“Very well. Make sure you hold tight to my arm — the ground can be quite uneven.”
Lorena did not need much inducement to cling tightly to Jeremiah, although she did appreciate the invitation. They left the path and walked across the yellowed grass, then passed through the sycamore grove, dead leaves crunching under their feet and catching on the short train of her gown.
Past the sycamores were the tall pines known as ponderosa, interspersed with fir. Fire-hued sumac blazed in the undergrowth. In here among the trees it felt very quiet, even though she knew they had not gone so very far away from the path. Still, the towering pines and firs, arching overhead like a woodland cathedral, offered privacy that certainly wasn’t available on the pathways they’d just left.
“Was it all like this?” she asked, after they had paused on a small patch of flat ground and Jeremiah released her arm. It was shady enough here that she closed her parasol and leaned it against a fallen log. “That is, before the spaces were cleared for the town.”
“Not all,” he said. “There were clearings, and open meadows. At least, that is what I’ve heard. Flagstaff was already a town when I arrived here with my family, although I will admit it was a very young settlement still. The railroad hadn’t made its way here yet, and we finished the final leg of the journey by wagon.”
Bumping along rough roads through the high desert, in wagons filled with their belongings. Filled with children, too; from what Lorena had been able to tell, according to the intelligence Josie had provided, the Wilcoxes had taken the edict seriously to go forth and multiply. All except Jeremiah, of course, who had only the one son.
At least he has that much, she thought then, not even attempting to push away the bitterness. Some of us have far less.
“That must have been rather arduous,” she said, hoping her voice betrayed nothing of what she’d just been thinking.
“Somewhat,” he admitted. “It is much easier now, of course. I can go on business to Winslow or as far out as Kingman, and have that business take only part of my day, rather than know I must be gone overnight.”
She nodded, while at the same time wondering precisely what that business was. Something to do with the forest land and the cattle and sheep ranches his family owned. In that moment, she realized how very uninformed she was about such things, and so she preferred not to ask any questions, lest she reveal her ignorance.
“Do you travel often for business?” There, that sounded safe enough.
“More often than I would like, but not too often in the grand scheme of things. My brothers and I purchased an interest in a turquoise mine out in Kingman, and so I go there once a month, if even that. My trips to Winslow are even more infrequent — it depends on whether new equipment we’ve ordered has come in, and whether I have to chase after it, or whether I can convince one of my brothers to do so instead.”
Jeremiah wore a rather rueful smile as he made these explanations. She like the way it altered his features, made him seem far less weighted by the world’s problems.
Then he said, “But I fear speaking of the family business only distracts us from this lovely day. I can pretend such things are no concern of mine when I am out in the fresh air, surrounded by these trees. Something about them serves to remind me that, in the end, our day-to-day troubles do not amount to all that much.”
“Do you have that many troubles, Jeremiah?”
His gaze flicked to hers, and held. For a long moment, he did not reply, only regarded her carefully, as if he was trying to gauge how sincere the question was. At last he answered, “Don’t we all, Lorena?”
She knew she should make some kind of airy reply, one that would deflect the question and move the conversation to more suitable topics. And yet, watching him, seeing the long-buried pain in his dark eyes, she could only say, “Some more than others, I would think.”
Another silence. Although he had stopped a proper distance from her, with more than a foot separating them, he took a step to close the gap, then paused. His mouth twisted. “Why did you agree to walk out with me today?”
Several innocent answers rose to her lips — that she wanted to enjoy the weather, or that she wished to see more of Flagstaff before she departed — and yet she knew she would not hand such convenient lies to him. She did not know Jeremiah Wilcox well, but she knew she owed him more than that.
Looking directly up into his eyes, she said simply, “I wanted to spend more time with you.”
A muscle in his cheek twitched, but otherwise his expression did not change. “That was what worried me.”
Such a response was so entirely unexpected that she placed her hands on her hips and frowned. “Why would it worry you? Did you not wish to spend time with me? And if that is the case, then why on earth would you ask me to go walking with you?”
None of these questions appeared to put him off his stride. Indeed, that rueful smile made a reappearance. “I did wish to spend time with you,” he said calmly. “Only I fear
that it was not a terribly wise thing to do.”
“Whyever not?”
“No one warned you away from me?”
“Of course not,” she replied with some indignation. “Who on earth would do such a thing?”
“You are new to this town, so perhaps you have not heard. Something of a black cloud tends to follow me, I fear.”
“Because of your wives?”
“So you have heard something of my history.”
“A little,” Lorena admitted. “My maid Josie might have heard some gossip, and passed it on. But I would certainly not allow myself to be deterred by gossip.”
“‘Deterred’?” Jeremiah repeated, looking almost amused. “Deterred from what, precisely?”
A certain silky tone had entered his voice as he asked that last question, and Lorena hesitated. She would not be forward enough to admit her true feelings, and yet…she also did not want to lie to him. “Deterred from making an interesting acquaintance,” she said, after a hesitation that went on for far too long.
“An acquaintance.” He shifted toward her again, so that this time they stood so close, it would take no effort at all to reach out, to touch —
No, she couldn’t allow herself to think that. But she was thinking it, was thinking of how much she wanted him to pull her into his arms, to kiss her —
It was as if that fondest wish had become a reality, for suddenly he was reaching for her, was taking her hands in his so he might draw her close, might bend down —
And oh, yes, those were his lips touching hers, strong and warm, his mouth opening so she might savor his delicious taste, all her limbs going limp with desire. Too many years had passed since she last felt like this.
A disloyal thought passed through her mind. No, I have never felt like this before.
They kissed, and the autumn light slanted through the trees, gold and copper. At last he let her go. She had thought he would smile after they had shared such an embrace, but instead he appeared terribly somber.
The Arrangement (The Witches of Cleopatra Hill Book 10) Page 5
