Meandering through the meticulously manicured foot paths around the back of the Warrenhouse mansion, I come up on one cottage upon another. The one that Aiden and I are staying in is just one of the many guesthouses that exist on the property. Caroline must be staying in one of these. But, which one? Each one has a little white picket fence out front with rose bushes. The sun is just starting to peek over the horizon, making the space out here look like an enchanted forest. The Warrenhouses must spend a fortune on gardeners to make everything look so shabby chic. The plants, bushes, and trees are just overgrown enough to give the illusion of a quaint English garden. It’s perfect, but not too perfect. If I weren’t so focused on finding out if Caroline is okay, I would love to lose myself in this world.
Meandering past the guesthouses, I notice that there are cars parked out back, just outside the main garden areas. They are tucked out of sight and out of mind, as if they are keeping the twenty-first century at bay. I try to remember which car Caroline took to get here. I’m pretty sure that her date rented a car, but what kind? I walk past a Bentley, a brand new Tesla, and a couple of other name brand cars that I know cost a fortune but not exactly how much.
Once I reach the edge of the guesthouses, I shrug and turn around. I feel like crying because I’m at a complete loss as to how to go about finding Caroline. Or whether I even should. I mean, it’s barely morning and the last thing I want to do is barge in on her sleeping and create a scene. Or even worse - what if I were to barge in on a couple of complete strangers? No, I guess I should just make my way back to Aiden and just wait until it’s a more reasonable hour before finding her.
I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down. Just because she called you earlier, doesn’t mean anything. I mean, she didn’t come around looking for you. Everything is probably fine. I mean, when is it not? I know that bad things happen out there, but that doesn’t mean that they’re going to happen here in this multimillion dollar mansion overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. I’m just overthinking things. I’m riding a high from having one of the best orgasms of my life, and then seeing that all those people have downloaded my book, and having an awesome writing session. That’s why I can’t quiet my mind down. It has nothing to do with Caroline. Yes, of course.
I’m not always successful in talking myself down, but this morning I surprise myself. In addition to calming my erratic thoughts with soothing thoughts, I also do a breathing exercise that I learned in yoga class. I close one nostril and take a big breath in. Then I open it, pinch my other nostril and breathe out through the other one. This focuses my breathing and I feel myself taking in air further into my stomach instead of just into my lungs. Okay, okay, I say to myself. Everything’s going to be fine. There’s nothing to worry about. Just go back to Aiden and try to get some sleep.
I make my way down the now familiar path back to our cottage at the very end. But just as I walk past the one with the bright blue door, I hear a familiar voice. I can’t make out what he’s saying. It sounds more like grunting. Moaning, maybe. I furrow my brows and stop in my tracks. What could that be? I walk over to the window on my tiptoes to take a peek inside. I don’t want to draw unnecessary attention to myself just in case the people inside are having a good time.
Luckily, the blinds and the curtains are wide open. I stand really close to the glass and cover my face to block out some of the gray light coming from the outside. Oh my God, I whisper to myself when I see the guy’s back to me. He’s stark naked except for a pair of black socks and he’s having sex with someone who is lying on the bed. I can’t see his face or the woman’s face, but I can tell that it’s a woman because she’s still wearing her high heels and her legs are listlessly open to either side of him.
The guy looks familiar, but with him facing away from me, I can’t really place him. He must be someone I met at the party since he’s staying at a cottage on the Warrenhouse property, but who he is exactly I don't know. Still, I get the sense that I know him. I look at his dark hair and his shoulders. He’s relatively thin but muscular as well. Strong.
I watch, feeling very much like the creep that I am. But something is holding me by the window. And it’s not anything good. There’s something about the girl that doesn’t look right. Her legs are spread open before him. He’s holding one of them up by his shoulders and the other one is laying bent to the side. But it’s the way it’s bent. As he continues to come in and out of her, she’s barely responding. No, she isn't responding at all. Something feels very wrong about this.
Suddenly, the guy tilts his head back and gives out a big moan. Then he speeds up his tempo. And yet the girl continues to lie there, without much of a response. I glare over to the other side of the door. There’s another window there. Maybe it will give me a better angle on what’s going on.
Not wanting to look away, but having the urge to get to the bottom of this situation, and to find out if the girl is actually okay, I push myself off the window sill and walk over to the other window. The blinds are down on this one, but they aren’t entirely shut. Again, I cover my face and peer in.
My heart drops. At first, I don't believe what I see. This can’t be him. No. Can it? I look closer. I can see his profile. No, I’m not wrong. It’s Tom.
Chapter 5 - Ellie
When I find out who it is…
And the girl? It doesn’t look like Carrie. No, not at all. She’s shorter and her face. I can’t quite make out her face but that body is not Carrie’s. I take a deep breath and look closer. Tom’s body is not blocking her from view entirely as before. Now, it’s perfectly clear that she is completely passed out. Her body is limp. Unresponsive.
No, no, no. Whoever this is, she looks dead. Or at least, asleep. I have no idea who she is, but one thing is for sure. She’s definitely not giving her consent.
Before I even realize what I’m doing, I hop over to the front door and turn the handle. It swings right open. Tom doesn’t notice me at first. He continues to make those sickening sounds of pleasure and pump away, holding the girl’s legs in the air.
Suddenly, I start to have doubts. What if she is consenting? I mean, I consented to being tied up. Maybe if someone had spied on me and Aiden through the window, they would also think that he was abusing me. But it’s too late for any of those thoughts now. I’m here, standing in the doorway. And I have to find out what’s happening.
“What are you doing?” I ask loudly. Tom stops in mid-action and turns his head to look at me. Once he sees me, he drops the girl’s legs and pulls out. A part of me expects the girl to sit up on her elbows and tell me to get the fuck out, but she doesn’t. Instead, what I see is the grave expression on Tom’s face. He looks terrified. His eyes shift from side to side, trying to figure out what to say and do.
“Tom, what the fuck?” I ask. No, my initial response to this was correct. Something is off here. I step inside the cottage and walk over closer to the bed. That’s when it hits me. The girl on the bed is completely passed out. Unresponsive. Tom grabs his pants and starts to get dressed haphazardly. He puts one foot into the pants, hops around, and almost slips.
Suddenly, everything starts to move in slow motion. I walk over to the girl and my ears start to buzz. Is this really her? My heart starts to beat so fast it feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest. I try to inhale, but my chest seizes up.
“What are you doing?” I ask over and over as I drape myself over the girl on the bed. No, it can’t be her. It just can’t. She’s completely nude from the top down, and her dress is pushed up to her waist. I grab her by the shoulders and start to shake her as fast as I can.
“Caroline, Caroline. Wake up, Caroline!”
“She just fell asleep,” Tom says somewhere behind me. “She was totally into it before.”
I hear him talking, but I’m not entirely processing everything that he’s saying. My only focus now is to wake her up. She has to be okay. I have to make her okay.
But no matter how much I shake her, she doesn’
t respond. No, no, no. Hot tears are streaming out of my eyes. I can’t see anything more than a few inches in front of my face.
“Wake up, Caroline,” I say over and over. A few of my tears run into my mouth and I choke on them. I cough and wipe my eyes.
I take a deep breath and try to figure out what to do. Then I reach for her neck. I press my fingers to her artery. Please, please, please. Please, let there be a heartbeat. And then I feel it. It’s faint, but it’s there. Oh my God. Okay, okay, I say to myself. I kneel down and press my head to her lips. Please, breathe on me, Caroline, I say to myself silently as I wait.
Somewhere behind me, Tom is saying something. He’s rushing around the room. He’s freaking out, but I can’t pay attention to him at all. It’s almost like nothing else exists except for this moment right now. And then, suddenly, she breathes. I clearly feel her breathe in and out, and I exhale deeply myself. Okay, at least she’s alive. Despite anything else that happened.
Still, she’s unresponsive. So, I need to act fast. I bury my hands in my jacket and pull out my phone. My hands are shaking so violently, I can barely make out the numbers. Luckily, there are only three. 911.
“What’s your emergency?” a woman asks on the other end.
“What are you doing?” Tom asks, grabbing the phone out of my hand. I stare at him.
“Give me that phone. Caroline is passed out!” I yell loudly. He hasn’t hung up yet and I need to get the message out to the 911 dispatcher.
“No, she’s just sleeping.”
“You were having sex with her. She’s completely unresponsive. And you were having sex with her, Tom. Give me that phone.”
“No,” he says and hangs up. Then he puts my phone in his pocket and glares at me. Shit. Cold sweat courses through my veins. It suddenly occurs to me exactly the kind of vulnerable situation that I’m in. I’m alone in this room with him. Caroline is passed out. I had just caught him doing something to her that he has no right to. And he has taken away my phone. He’s growing desperate and desperation is never a good quality in men. That’s when violence comes about.
“What are you doing, Ellie? You’re going to call the cops on me? I’m your friend.”
“I know that,” I say slowly. “You are. But we need to get her help. I don't know why she’s not responding, Tom. Maybe she had too much to drink. But I think she needs medical help. That’s the whole reason I was calling them.”
Tom paces around the room. I glance at the door at the far corner. That’s my way out, but he’s standing in front of it. I can try to run for it, but what if he were to catch me? No, I need to play this smart.
“No, it wasn’t,” Tom says with a disappointed look on his face. “You were calling to turn me in. But the thing is, Ellie, that I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You didn’t?”
“No, we were just having sex. And she passed out. But before she did, she was totally into it.”
“But what about Carrie?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I don’t know, Ellie. Caroline was just sitting on the porch. She had a fight with that guy who she came with. We kissed and one thing led to another. You know how it is.”
“Yes, of course,” I lie. I have to agree with what he says now. That’s my only way out. Who knows what he will do to me if I don't pretend to be his friend again. Who knows what he’s capable of. I never thought that he would be capable of raping a girl, let alone our friend. But, apparently, I don't know Tom as well as I thought I did. Maybe I never really knew him.
Chapter 6 - Ellie
When I find myself in a trap…
“Listen, Tom, you have to believe me. I’m on your side. If what you say is true, then let’s call the paramedics and get her some help. I mean, this isn’t normal. Caroline is our friend.”
I’m trying to appeal to his better self. I have no idea if it’s going to work. But I’m all out of options.
“No, we can’t,” he says. He sits down on the couch by the window on the far end of the room, burying his head in his hands. “I really messed up, Ellie. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all going to be okay, Tom. I’m here for you.”
I debate whether I should come over there and comfort him. That would make him believe me more, but I’m also terrified of being that close to him. But it may be my only way out. I keep eyeing the front door, hoping that someone, anyone, will just walk in. But it’s too early. The world is still asleep. Besides, this is a private cottage and now that he has my phone, I’m totally on my own.
“You’re just going to tell them what you saw. But you have to believe me, that’s not what happened. I wasn’t raping her, or whatever you think I was doing. She was into it. It’s not my fault she fell asleep.”
“I know that, Tom. And that’s what you’re going to explain to them. But for now, I just really think we need to have someone check in on her and see if she’s okay. She’s barely breathing, Tom. Her pulse is very shallow. She needs our help.”
He shakes his head.
I take a few steps toward the door, still debating whether I should come over closer to him to make my point stronger or just make a run for it.
“You don't want to make this any worse, do you? I mean, what if she’s not okay? And we didn’t get her any medical help?”
“No, I can’t,” he says slowly.
I take a few more steps closer to the door and my freedom.
“Why?”
“Because then Carrie will find out. And I can’t have her finding this out, Ellie.”
“No, she won’t,” I say, even though I’m fully aware of how unconvincing I sound. Of course, Carrie will find out. I don't know how she wouldn’t. I take another few steps toward the door. I decide to make a run for it when I get a little bit closer. Tom is in such distress that I can’t trust any of his reactions. I have no idea what he’s capable of and I don't want to find out.
“I’m really, really sorry, Ellie,” Tom says. He looks up at me. His eyes are bloodshot and full of tears. His face is red and splotchy. Whatever happened here, he’s definitely regretting it. I take a deep breath.
“I know you are,” I say. When he hangs his head back down, burying it in his knees, I decide to make a run for it.
Within a few steps, I grab the door handle and turn. A gust of cold air hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m outside! Yes!
But then someone grabs me by my hair and tugs really hard. My neck throbs from the pain and my whole scalp burns. A primal scream escapes my lips, sending shivers through my whole body.
“Let me go!” I scream at the top of my lungs. Now that I’m outside, making as much noise as possible is my only way out of this. I need someone to come help and for help to arrive, I need attention.
“Tom, no! Let me go! Help!” I yell.
“Shut up! Shut up!” Tom wraps his cold fingers around my throat and mouth. He closes my nose and I struggle to breathe. He’s behind me and on top of me. He’s smothering me. But I won’t go down this easily. No, I’m going to fight.
I elbow him as hard as I can in the ribs. He winces in pain and lets go of his grip on me. I inhale deeply and suddenly, I’m able to breathe in and out again. I scramble up to my feet and head toward the white picket fence. I just need to get to the other side of that, I say to myself. Then I’ll be okay.
But he grabs me by my feet before I get there. Both of my feet are suddenly locked in place and I tumble to the ground, bracing my fall with my hands. Once I hit the ground, I make a loud thump and all the wind gets knocked out of me. I struggle to inhale even a tiny bit of air. It takes all of my energy to just flip over on my back so that I can get some more air. Slowly, my airways start to open, but each breath is still the most painful thing that I’ve ever experienced.
When I’m finally able to breathe somewhat normally, someone climbs on top of me. It’s Tom, but I’ve never seen him look like that before. He’s blocking out all of the morning light with his body and he’s pinning my hands back be
hind my head. He’s sitting across my torso and I’m unable to move at all.
“What the fuck are you doing, Ellie?” he asks, huffing and puffing through each word.
I have no idea how to answer that question. I just look around and try to figure out what to do next. There has to be a way out of this, right? This can’t be it?
He leans over to me and presses his lips to mine. It takes me a moment to realize that he’s kissing me. Actually, forcing his tongue down my throat. But I also feel the shift in his weight on top of me. He’s no longer pinning my legs down and suddenly they are free. I lift up my leg and kick him as hard as I can in his back. He cries out in pain. But I’m not done yet. I lift up my head and grab a hold of his lower lip, biting down on it as hard as I can. Something wet and warm runs down the back of my throat. He screams out in pain, but I don't let go until I’m ready. Then I push him away from me. He falls on his back next to me, and I see a rock laying next to me. I grab it and hit him as hard as I can in the face. Then I scramble up to my feet and wobble toward the white picket fence and as far away from him as possible.
As soon as I’m outside the fence, I run for it. I don’t bother to turn around. I don’t bother to see if he’s alright. Or even if he’s after me. No, I just need to get myself as far away from here as possible and the only way to do that is to run. Run for my life.
I burst through the door of our cottage and lock the door behind me. Aiden lazily opens his eyes.
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