Jason shook his head. It felt like the duke was trying to raise his ire. Most of the time he would have been above that, but today it was working. He drew a long breath of the smoky air to calm himself and shrugged in hopes he would seem as nonchalant as Carnthorn did.
“I did come to speak to you about Miss Downing, you are correct on that score.” He arched a brow. “I was surprised to find you at her home this afternoon. I didn’t realize you were friends.”
Carnthorn grinned. “We are not. I had something to discuss with her.”
“Don’t you mean a most inappropriate proposition to make?” Jason hissed. He was only just keeping himself from resolving this issue with fisticuffs.
Carnthorn’s eyebrows lifted and Jason was ready for the duke’s denial, but to his surprise the man merely nodded once. “Told you about that, did she?”
“You admit it!” Jason burst out, rising to his feet.
Carnthorn shrugged. “You and I are men of a certain...temperament when it comes to women. I’m a little surprised at your shock, honestly. You and I are not so different.”
Jason wrinkled his nose. “Please do not compare what I do to what you do.”
Carnthorn didn’t seem offended by the dismissal, but laughed. “Perhaps I go further, but we are both stops along the same road.”
“And yet you turned your attentions toward Miss Downing. A lady. An unmarried lady.”
“A lady with no prospects and no hope for a respectable future with a husband. I merely offered her an alternative to the existence she lives currently. How is that not a kindness? You are supposed to be her friend—surely you must see how miserable she is at present.”
Jason clenched his jaw. Carnthorn was repeating back everything Jacinda had said herself just a few short hours before. As if this man, who hadn’t even noticed her before he saw her with that naughty book, could see into her soul in a way Jason hadn’t.
Or maybe hadn’t wanted to see. He hadn’t wanted to involve himself in her life beyond just the very surface act of dancing with her at the occasional party or talking to her about superficial things. He had congratulated himself for being her friend...but he hadn’t been, not really, if he had ignored her deeper pain, her needs that she didn’t speak to the world but were somehow obvious to this predator.
“Nothing to say?” Carnthorn drawled.
Jason glared at him, his thoughts gone in an instant thanks to the smug satisfaction on the other man’s face.
“I’m only trying to think of how to break the news to you,” he said, anger bubbling up in him. “You see, I am not Miss Downing’s friend. I am her suitor.”
The moment the words left his lips, a panic gripped Jason’s heart, but now he had said the impetuous statement and taking it back would only hurt Jacinda even more, for he was certain Carnthorn would talk.
“Her suitor?” Carnthorn repeated blankly. “You?”
“Yes,” Jason confirmed, swallowing hard. “You are correct that we have long been friends, but in the last few months that friendship has blossomed into something deeper. I have been courting her for weeks.”
“Interesting that she said nothing of that to me when I was putting forth my offer of protection,” Carnthorn said, but though his tone remained calm, there was a light in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. One of competition. One of anger, though Jason wasn’t certain if it was directed at him or at Jacinda.
“With her past, she has been reluctant to allow any information about her private life to be made public,” Jason said, hoping that explanation would be good enough. “Perhaps we should have done that sooner, considering what kind of men waited in the wings. That will be remedied right away.”
The words kept coming and Jason felt a noose around his neck with every one. Why in the world had he started down this path of claiming Jacinda? He would never marry; he had made that vow long ago. And yet he couldn’t stop talking.
“So you see, you have misread the situation,” he said, glaring down at Carnthorn. “And Miss Downing already has a new kind of life on the horizon that will not include you.”
The duke slowly rose to his feet, his mouth set in a thin, angry line and his jaw clenched. “Perhaps I have misunderstood the situation.”
Jason scowled. Those were the right words to say, but Carnthorn didn’t exactly look like he was going to walk away.
“Will you stand down in your advances?” Jason pressed.
The duke smiled yet another of those cold, humorless smiles. “With you as the suitor? I am not certain Jacinda will make it to the altar, and then she will be in an even worse predicament, won’t she?”
Jason clenched his fists and took a long step toward Carnthorn. “Apparently I have not made myself clear enough. Let me say it more plainly, Your Grace. Stay away from her.”
Carnthorn didn’t back down, at least not for the first moment. Then he laughed. “There is no need for us to feud, Northfield. If the girl is truly yours, not even I could persuade her otherwise.”
It was a most unsatisfying way for Carnthorn to surrender, for it still didn’t seem like the duke was in any way giving up his quest to have Jacinda in his bed. But it was plainly all Jason would get, at least for now.
He moved toward the door. “Very good. I hope we shall not have to have this conversation again.”
Carnthorn arched a brow. “Oh, we won’t. Of that I’m certain.”
“Good.” Jason didn’t say anything more, he simply walked out of the house, motioning for his horse to be brought around. But as he waited, his heart sank.
He had made the statement that he was courting Jacinda in a heated moment. And now he would have to confess that to her. And he could not imagine she would be any happier at the prospect than he was.
Chapter Five
“Ask for what you want. Or demand it.”—The Ladies Book of Pleasures
Jacinda set The Ladies Book of Pleasures aside with a sigh and settled a little more comfortably into her pillows. If one didn’t look at the shocking pictures within the book and skipped the erotic descriptions of how a lady could unleash her inner desires, the ideas set forth by the anonymous authoress were really quite interesting. The woman believed in ladies being able to feel true passion. She preached that marriage should include equality in pleasure, and that wanting a man didn’t make a woman a whore.
Of course, that was easy for her to say. She was probably married and was safely anonymous. No one would ever judge or shun her for her thoughts. For all everyone knew, the writer wasn’t even a “lady” at all.
“She could be anyone and be doing anything she liked,” Jacinda muttered, her gaze slipping to the book again.
In her skimming over the naughty parts, she hadn’t been able to avoid catching quick glimpses of pictures or little snippets about sexual acts between men and women...even multiple men and women...that made her head spin.
Now she picked up the book again and turned the page from where she had left off in her reading. The next chapter was entitled “Oral Explorations” and she trembled as she examined the picture that was above the chapter heading. It was a small etching of a woman perched on the edge of a table, her legs spread wide as a man tongued the slit of her sex. Two of his fingers were plunged inside that secret place as well. The woman’s face was twisted in what seemed to be ecstasy.
Her body felt so hot as she looked at the picture, as she imagined what that experience could be like. Would she like such a thing? If there were no consequences and some man...some handsome man...had his mouth buried between her legs, would she cry out in pleasure or in discomfort?
She found her hand slipping between her legs and she pushed her covers down so that it would be easier to touch herself. After reading the book for the past hour, she felt a little less shame at the idea of doing so, but still...it would be the last time for a long while. She would hide the book safely and stop thinking about it and its scandalous teachings.
But for now…
Sh
e pushed up her nightdress and gently fingered the soft folds of her sex. Resting back against the pillows, she began to stroke herself, only this time she went slowly, indulging in the sweet sensation as pleasure built deep in her belly and bloomed outward. She thought of the picture in the book, tried to imagine a man’s mouth on her, his lips meeting her sex, his tongue gliding inside to taste—
She was cut off from her imaginings by a knock. But it wasn’t at her door—it was at her window. The window where her curtains were open, and the intruder could likely see her touching herself.
She leapt to her feet and shoved her nightgown in place as she spun on the window. The light from inside obscured her view into the darkness, but she thought she saw the shadow of a person there.
The knock came again and confirmed it. She lifted her candle and moved toward the sound, hands shaking as much as her unfulfilled body trembled.
“Who’s there?” she said as she drew nearer.
The window was two floors up. She had no idea who would be so bold or talented as to be able to climb up and accost her in this way.
“Jacinda!” came a loudly whispered voice from behind the glass. “It’s Jason. Let me in—this ledge is very narrow.”
Her eyes grew wide as she pressed the candle closer. Sure enough, through the glass she saw Jason.
“What are you doing here?” she asked without opening the window.
“I’m about to fall if you do not help me,” he said, his face twisting with effort and a touch of annoyance. “Let me in and I’ll explain.”
She set the candle aside and fumbled with the lock, then threw open the window and held out a hand to steady him as he climbed inside.
“Damn, I may be getting too old to do these things anymore,” he said as she glanced toward the ledge. “When one is twenty, certainly, but now?
“What are you muttering about? More to the point, what are you doing here?” she said in an exaggerated whisper as she glanced at the door behind her.
Her aunt’s room was several doors down the hall from hers and Cordelia slept heavily, but that didn’t mean this couldn’t turn into an unmitigated disaster within seconds. Jacinda could only imagine the punishments of her family and Society if Jason was found in her bedroom at midnight.
“I needed to see you,” he said, but he was looking around her room rather than at her. “It is a plain chamber, isn’t it?”
Her eyes widened. “I didn’t invite you here—there is no need to insult my room.” She folded her arms as she looked around. He wasn’t wrong. The furnishings in her chamber were bare at best, and there was no art or color to her walls. “My aunt does not wish for me to personalize my surroundings in any way, as I am merely a temporary houseguest,” she explained.
“You’ve been here seven years,” Jason breathed.
She shrugged, despite the sting his observation brought. “And it shall end at any moment, as she is quick to remind me regularly.” She shook her head and tried to focus. “But this is not the point. If you wished to see me, you could have come to the front door like a normal person.”
He nodded. “Yes, of course. And I did intend to do so, I promise you, but when I returned here late in the day…” He glanced at her clock. “Yesterday, I suppose it is now, your aunt’s carriage was in the drive being unloaded and I knew I would not be able to speak to you alone. So I returned when I knew the house would be abed and climbed the tree outside your window. What I need to tell you must be for your ears only.”
She stepped toward him, looking up into his face as concern filled her. Jason had once confessed some of his deepest pains to her and now she couldn’t help but wonder if something had happened to him. She reached up to touch him and then hesitated, knowing the inappropriateness of such an act, especially when she remained in nothing but her nightshift.
“What is it?” she asked.
He cleared his throat. “I have done something you probably shall not like.”
Her brow wrinkled at his statement. “Done something? Whatever could you have done that has anything to do with me?”
He shifted. “I went to the Duke of Carnthorn after we spoke.”
Her mouth dropped open as deep anxiety built in her chest. “Why would you do that?” she asked, pacing away from him.
“Because he essentially accosted you in your parlor,” Jason said, his tone hard.
She spun on him. “No, he didn—” She cut herself off as she thought of Carnthorn gripping her arm like steel.
He shot her a look like he could read her thoughts and continued his explanation. “As I told you, the man is dangerous, and I wanted to dissuade him from pursuing you.”
“Why?” she burst out, moving back toward him. “Why in the world is that your place to do so?”
He hesitated for a fraction of a moment. “Because I’m your friend, Jacinda. And you confessed what had happened to me, which means you trusted me enough to share your worries. I wanted to help.”
“And so you told him how utterly inappropriate I am for an affair?” Her breath was ragged now and a crushing sense of disappointment she had never expected pressed down on her from all sides. “I assume you made him agree that I’m unworthy of the offer he made to me.”
He stared at her, his face filled with emotions she couldn’t decipher. “That is what you’re worried about? That he would withdraw his offer to make you his mistress?”
When stated so plainly, he made her sound desperate and indecent. She wrung her hands, trying to find a way to explain her feelings on the subject.
“It’s only that his offer was the first time I thought there might be a different life for me than living here in emptiness,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to be with him, of course. He is married, for one, and I wouldn’t do that to another woman. Also, because if you say he is untrustworthy, then I believe you. But it was still a nice...a nice fantasy. However, if you told him I was unworthy, then I’m sure that will ricochet through the ton like wildfire and I will be back to being the unnoticed, unwanted wallflower.”
Her shoulders slumped as she turned away, not wanting him to see anything more than what she had already revealed. She felt him move behind her and then his hand was on her shoulder. Without the protection of a robe, his warm fingers cupped her bare skin as he turned her, and she shuddered at the intimacy of that touch.
Looking up at him, she thought again, for a brief moment, of a man’s mouth on her sex. Only this time, it was Jason’s full lips on her skin. She blinked to clear the unbidden image.
“I didn’t tell him you were unworthy,” he said softly. “I would never say that because I don’t believe it. And I would certainly never do something that would put you in a poor light by Society at large.”
She tilted her head, for she could think of no other reason that would put a man off his suit.
“What did you tell him?” she whispered.
Jason swallowed, his gaze darting from hers. “Jacinda, I told him that you and I were courting.”
She staggered backward as shock overcame her. She found herself pressed against the edge of her bed and reached back to steady herself on the mattress.
“What are you talking about?” she asked. She had to have heard him wrong. Misunderstood in her upset. Either that or this entire exchange was a nightmare.
He nodded. “It was said without thinking, I admit that much. But since it was said, I have had a great many hours to think about what I’ve done. I think it could actually play into your advantage. I have a proposal for you—will you hear it?”
Her eyes widened. “A proposal?”
He shook his head as if he realized how his statement could have two meanings. “A proposition.”
Jacinda was shaking like a leaf, but she managed to speak even though she could hardly draw air into her lungs. She motioned to the one sad little chair beside her window. As Jason took the uncomfortable spot, she moved the bench from her dressing table over and sat across from him.
“Explain,” she said, wishing she sounded calm instead of shrill and desperate.
“You want a different life, and I know why,” he said with another brief glance around her barren chamber. “But I think you can have what you desire without turning to the life of a mistress.”
“Because no one would want me?” she whispered, the sting of that thought pricking her even though she should have been accustomed to such pain.
He shook his head. “I think Carnthorn has proven that isn’t true, and I’m certain there would be several men who would take that opportunity were it offered. I want you to consider my plan if only because once you became a mistress, you couldn’t return to this life.”
She thought about that a moment. “You are correct. I cannot picture my father welcoming me home. He put me out over the Incident, and that was far less scandalous than what Carnthorn proposed. But how would being courted by you change my life?”
He straightened up and grinned, and her breath caught, only this time it was for a pleasant reason. Jason was so devastatingly handsome, she could hardly take it.
“I am the most eligible bachelor in London,” he said.
She couldn’t help but laugh. “And the most modest.”
He shrugged. “Modesty is overrated. Everyone knows I have vowed never to wed.”
Jacinda pursed her lips as she recalled his long-ago confession. “Yes?”
He smiled. “Can you imagine the fervor that would surround a woman who tempted me to change my mind?”
She cocked her head. “And?”
Jason leaned in. “Jacinda, other men would want her.”
Jacinda stared at him as his meaning became clear. “You are saying some other man would suddenly want to marry me because you claimed you did?” she said with a disbelieving shake of her head.
“When I got my new phaeton, seven other men got the same one because they saw me driving it in the park,” Jason said with a laugh.
“And you think it would be the same for a woman?” Jacinda replied, still not believing that could be true.
“They will take an interest in you. I would guarantee it,” Jason said. “And I’m certain at least one would offer for your hand in order to obtain the object of my desire.”
A Moment of Passion (The Ladies Book of Pleasures) Page 5
