The first things she’d noticed about Scott were how handsome, well dressed, and sophisticated he was. Three years older than her, he worked as a project consultant for a major television network. For their first date, he’d taken her to an elegant restaurant in LA. On all their other dates, he’d made her feel special and important…and loved.
Scott had pursued her for more than six months before finally accepting that she would not agree to sleep with him or any man before marriage. Not engaging in premarital sex was a decision she’d made years earlier because of the good Christian upbringing Mama Nora had given her. But that decision had been reinforced after seeing what Syneda had gone through.
Syneda’s father never married her mother, and, knowing she was dying of breast cancer, Ms. Walters had written to the man who had fathered her child, asking that he come and get their ten-year-old daughter and provide a home for her. Syneda’s mom, who had never stopped loving the man, had died believing he would come. She had also convinced Syneda that the father she never knew would come for her, thus giving Syneda something to look forward to. Syneda’s father never came.
Even believing that Scott actually loved her had not been enough to change Lorren’s mind about sleeping with him before marriage. At first, he had continued to hound her about it, but on that issue she had stood her ground.
It was only after her marriage to Scott, which came exactly eight months to the day after they’d met, that Lorren discovered just how self-centered, overambitious, and controlling he was. After she had thoroughly disappointed him in bed on their wedding night, he’d been bent on making her life with him miserable.
But he would keep her anyway, he’d told her, and had further elaborated that he believed in time she could develop technique and finesse a little more to his liking. Besides, he’d added, even with her shortcomings in the bedroom, she had other things going for her—looks and a promising career.
It didn’t take her long to realize that he really didn’t need a wife, but a hostess for when he entertained his colleagues and associates. He’d told her countless times it was her duty as his wife to help advance his career.
The only reason she’d stayed with him those two years, aside from her deep belief in their commitment, was that she hadn’t wanted to be a failure by giving up on their marriage or on him.
In the end, all she’d gotten out of her marriage with Scott was the stripping away of her pride and confidence. That was the price she’d paid for loving him.
Bringing her thoughts back to the present, Lorren responded to Justin’s question. “Yes, I met my ex-husband there.” She quickly changed the subject, not wanting to talk to Justin about Scott.
“What brought you to a small town like Ennis? I would think this place is rather boring to someone from Houston.”
Taking the hint she didn’t want to discuss her ex-husband, Justin answered, “I’d lived in a big city all my life and wanted to try a small town.” He smiled. “Senator Malone and my father attended Morehouse together, and when Ms. Nora told him about Dr. Powers’s retirement, and that the town was in need of a general practitioner, he contacted me to see if I was interested.”
A wry smile curled up the corners of Lorren’s mouth. She could just imagine the single women’s reaction to the town’s new doctor. Especially one as handsome as Justin. Her smile faded when she remembered all the pain she’d endured after being taken in by a handsome face. She was determined not to get sucked into that kind of hurt and heartbreak again.
“I feel stuffed. Breakfast was really good. Thanks.” She stood and began clearing the table.
Justin picked up on the sudden change in her. She acted as if she was in a hurry for him to leave. For some reason, the amiable time between them had ended. “I’ll help with the dishes.”
She shook her head. “There’s no need. I’m probably one of the few women alive who enjoys doing dishes. When I lived with Mama Nora, I used to make money off the other kids when it was their week for kitchen duty.”
Justin grinned. “As much as I like cooking, I’ve never developed a fondness for washing dishes. And washing pots is really the pits.” He stood. “At least let me help you clear the table.”
The two of them removed the dishes from the table, then Justin took his leave. As they approached the front door, he asked, “Are you sure you won’t change your mind about going swimming?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
Justin studied her face for a moment. “How about dinner tonight? I know of this swell restaurant in Dallas that serves wonderful seafood. Then afterward I can take you dancing. There’s this nice—”
“Justin, I won’t go out with you.” Lorren paused as she formulated her words. “It was fun sharing breakfast with you, but I don’t think we should overdo it.”
Justin rested against the closed door. “What do you mean?”
“We shouldn’t make it a habit, spending a lot of time together. The fewer personal things are between us, the better off we’ll both be. We’re like oil and water. We don’t mix. I’m a realist and you’re a dreamer.”
“Why? Because I believe in fate?”
“Yes, which means you probably believe there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You think every marriage should be like the one you had—made in heaven. I found out the hard way that’s not true. No one gets married expecting doom, but it happens to the best of us. Unfortunately, statistics have proved it happens to most. I believe true love and a happy marriage are things only shared by a select few.”
“I happen to disagree with that assessment,” Justin replied, his voice low and sexy. “Sounds like you have a case of divorcitis,” he said, smiling mischievously, daring her to smile with him. Reluctantly, she did.
Lorren wondered what there was about Justin that made just looking at him pleasurable, notwithstanding the ability to send her emotions into overdrive. “Divorcitis? Oh my gosh, Doctor. What’s that?” she asked teasingly, sounding like a frantic patient.
The soothing rays of the early morning sun came through the window and shone on Lorren’s face, giving it a velvety brown softness. Justin thought she looked even more beautiful than last night. He cleared his throat and spoke in a professional tone. “It’s a condition that plagues divorcees when, for whatever reason, they refuse to accept the fact there’s life after a divorce. They seem to equate a divorce decree with a death decree. And you, Lorren Jacobs, have the usual symptoms.”
Lorren decided not to tell him a death decree was not what she equated with her divorce. She’d considered her divorce a rebirth. “I gather a loss of appetite isn’t one of the symptoms,” she said, laughing at the ridiculousness of their conversation.
Justin grinned. “Nope, your appetite isn’t affected; however, at times your peace of mind is. Since I’ve diagnosed your condition, and free of charge I might add, I don’t want to waste any time before starting to treat you. Time is of the utmost importance when handling a condition like yours.”
“You don’t say, Doc?”
“Oh, I do say,” he assured her with a smooth smile. “To leave it untreated could be detrimental to your well-being. However, when given the proper attention, the prognosis is excellent. And with the right dosage of tender, loving care, you’ll be good as new in no time.”
Lorren’s laugh was soft. “Good as new? Really?”
Justin’s smile widened. “Yeah, really.”
“And just who’ll be giving me this TLC?”
“I will.”
“Ummm. To be on the safe side, maybe I should obtain a second opinion.”
He leaned toward her. “A second opinion in your case isn’t necessary. I’m the only one who can diagnose your condition. And more importantly, I’m the only one with a cure. I’ll start you off with a mild dosage,” he said, his mouth inches from hers, “and when I think you’re ready for something stronger, I’ll see that you get it.”
Lorren felt her heart skip a beat. Was Justin going to kiss her? Did
she want him to? No! She had to keep her head on straight. But he had the most sensuous mouth. What would his lips feel like on hers?
She crushed the thought and stepped back. “I think we’ve played this game long enough, Justin. Weren’t you about to leave?”
Justin moved, closing the distance between them, He was so close, the tips of his shoes touched the tips of her flats. “I’ve changed my mind.”
His voice had deepened and thickened. “I want to do something I could barely refrain from doing last night.”
Justin’s lips brushed against hers as he spoke.
A wild shudder of pleasure touched Lorren’s body. Blood coursed through her veins like a raging river. Succumbing to curiosity and the attraction she had fought since first meeting him, her lips parted.
A groan rumbled in Justin’s throat as he closed his mouth over hers. He made sure his kiss was gentle, yet seductive. Her taste was sweet, hot, sensuous. He hungered for her and relentlessly explored her mouth, demanding a response and enticing her tongue to mate with his.
Not only was he kissing her, Lorren thought, but he was encouraging her to participate, something Scott never did. He’d said hugging, kissing, and caressing weren’t a necessary part of lovemaking.
Heat throbbed deep within Lorren as Justin’s thrusting tongue dueled with hers in a slow, sensual motion. She wound her arms around his neck and arched against him, quivering, as hot waves of desire consumed her. Sliding her hands over his rib cage, she felt the hardness of his muscled body through the material of his clothing.
This was better than anything she had ever experienced before. The times she and Scott had kissed had never excited her this way, so completely, so thoroughly.
Her senses pulsated with the strength, feel, and scent of Justin. These new sensations stirred passion, the likes of which she’d never known, to rage within her. Operating purely on instinct, her body leaned into him, intensifying the kiss as she slanted her mouth against his.
Lorren’s barrier of self-protectiveness should have had her turning from any intimate contact with a man. Instead, she automatically rose on tiptoe to follow Justin’s mouth when he unexpectedly pulled away.
With a fevered moan Justin lifted his mouth from Lorren’s to draw much-needed air into his lungs. “I can’t handle too much more of this,” he whispered roughly, burying his face in her neck and breathing a kiss there. “I just knew it would be like this. I just knew we’d be good together.”
His words zapped Lorren back to reality. No! They wouldn’t be good together. After what had just happened between them, there was no doubt in her mind he’d be better than good. But she knew with that same certainty, she’d be a disappointment to him. How could she have forgotten that one elemental fact about herself?
Suddenly anxious to escape his presence, she twisted out of his arms, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Justin, but I don’t sleep around.”
Justin’s eyes grazed a path from Lorren’s swollen lips to the stubborn set of her chin. The woman had transformed the act of kissing into a work of art. At the beginning she’d seemed unsure of what to do, which he’d found strange for someone who’d been married before. But in no time at all she had him indulging in pleasure so wonderful, it felt almost sinful. She had enjoyed their kiss just as much as he had. But he had picked up on the fact that what he’d seen in her eyes was more surprise at the effects of the kiss than recognition of the results of it. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she had never been properly kissed before.
“And I don’t sleep around either, Lorren,” he said quietly. “As a doctor, I know just how rampant AIDS is. I’m a firm believer you should think twice before going to bed with just anyone.” He took a step forward. “While I don’t go in for one-night stands, I don’t have anything against an affair.”
A lean, dark finger caressed her cheek. There was such an awe-inspiring beauty about her, with her mouth slightly swollen from his kiss and her face tinted with desire. “I think we may be headed for one,” he said softly.
“No.” The response was fast from Lorren’s lips.
Justin’s reply was even quicker. “Yes.” His dark eyes held hers. “You’re attracted to me just as much as I am to you, whether you’re willing to admit it or not. Think about it.”
“There’s nothing to think about,” she replied curtly.
“I believe differently.”
Turning, he walked out the door.
Chapter 3
“W hy do men think they know everything?” Lorren asked Syneda as they sat at a table in Sophie’s Diner.
Syneda looked up from her meal. “I guess it’s a man thing.” She raised a brow. “Is there a particular reason for this little episode of male-bashing? You’ve been on a roll since we got here.”
Lorren took a sip of her soft drink, then regarded her friend through lowered lashes. “No reason.”
The look Syneda sent her was pointed. “Let’s not get cutesy, Lorren Nicole Jacobs. We’ve been through too much together. The disappointment of my father not coming for me, your schoolgirl infatuation with Carlos Nottenkamper, and last, but not least, your bummer of a marriage to Scott.”
Lorren raised her eyes heavenward. “Thanks for reminding me of that last one.”
Syneda smiled sweetly. “Couldn’t pass up the chance. So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, or will you keep me guessing?”
Lorren tried pulling her scattered emotions together. When she spoke, her voice was low and unsteady. “I’m attracted to Justin Madaris.”
“For crying out loud, Lorren. Tell me something I don’t know. Have you forgotten that I’m the one who called a cab for you the other night. It was obvious at Mama Nora’s party the two of you were attracted to each other.”
Lorren shook her head. “No, Syneda. You don’t understand. I mean deeply attracted, to the point that I’ve felt things.” She dropped her voice lower, her words barely more than a ragged whisper. “Physical things.”
Syneda stared at her friend for a moment. She would have grinned at the bewildered expression on Lorren’s face had she not known the depth of her anxiety. “Oh, Lorren,” she said softly, a tender smile dancing across her lips. “Honey, you’re supposed to feel physical things when you’re attracted to someone.”
“I didn’t feel anything physical like this for Scott.”
Syneda sighed. “Then that should tell you something, shouldn’t it? When will you realize that Scott Howard didn’t walk on water? In my opinion, he didn’t walk on land either. He crawled around on his belly like other snakes.” She smiled. “So, you’re really attracted to the good doctor, uh? Well, hallelujah! It’s about time you’re attracted to someone. Now maybe you’ll stop overprotecting yourself because of what Scott put you through and get on with your life.”
“You act as though I haven’t dated at all since my divorce. I’ve gone out with numerous men.”
“Numerous men?” Syneda asked, drawing out the words slowly. “Don’t make me get hysterical. What you dated were numerous wimps. The only competition you got was from their mamas. Face it, honey, Justin Madaris is no wimp.”
Placing her elbows on the table, Syneda laced her fingers under her chin. “Why are you fighting your attraction to Justin, Lorren?”
Lorren took a deep breath before answering. Syneda was one of the few people who knew most of the details of her breakup with Scott. “You know Scott’s accusations. You know all the things he said about me.”
“Yes,” Syneda answered softly. “And I’ve told you a million times not to believe any of it. He said those things to hurt you. Hurting you was the only way he could cover his own feelings of inadequacy.”
Lorren took another sip of her drink before responding. “I really wish I could believe that.”
A wry smile tilted the corners of Syneda’s mouth. “Do more than believe it, Lorren. You can prove Scott was wrong.”
Lorren’s brow shot up.
“And how am I supposed to do that?”
“You know the answer to that. The way I see it,” Syneda continued, “there’s only one thing left for you to do. Sleep with Justin.”
Lorren’s mouth dropped open at the calm, easy way Syneda had made the suggestion. “Syneda Tremain Walters! Are you out of your cotton-pickin’ mind?”
“No, but you’ll be if you don’t make an attempt to find out the truth once and for all. So what’s the problem?”
Lorren glanced at her friend sharply, wondering if the onion burger Syneda had just eaten had gone to her head instead of her stomach. Syneda didn’t believe in casual sex any more than she did. “For your information, Syneda, Justin Madaris is the problem. He’s not the type of man I want to get involved with. It’s bad enough he’s my neighbor, but I simply refuse to let—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up a minute. Did you just say Justin’s your neighbor?”
Lorren shifted uneasily in her seat. “Yeah, but that doesn’t—”
“Hold it right there. Let me get this straight, girlfriend. Justin’s out there with you, all alone, in no-man’s-land?”
“It’s not no-man’s-land.”
Syneda gave her a half smile. “All right, all right, so it isn’t no-man’s-land. The two of you are out there all alone in the boondocks?”
Lorren raised her eyes to the ceiling. “Evidently there’s a point to all of this. If so, please make it.”
“The point is, I think Justin Madaris is exactly what you need, a man with experience.”
“Syneda, a man with experience is the last thing I need. His expectations would be too high. I couldn’t handle it if another man was to tell me how worthless I am in bed.”
Smiling through the sadness she felt for her friend, Syneda said, “As far as I’m concerned, the person who told you that lie wasn’t a man, but a snake. Now tell me, what have you and Justin been doing out there all alone?”
Tonight and Forever Page 4
