“I'm not who you think I am, okay? This is all just a dream.”
“I know who you are, maybe better than you know yourself,” Blane said, his eyes flashing with an emotion that made her heart thud. “But I also know my men.”
“Suit yourself,” Alisa said, shooting daggers at Blane. “If you don't want to listen to me, fine. But don't say I didn't try to warn you.”
She surprised herself when she was about to follow up with, “Why do you think I left you here in the first place?” She stopped herself just in time. It would have sounded crazy to all of them, and she didn't even know what she meant by it. Whoever had left him hadn't been her. Besides, it wasn't as if she would ever get through to him. She knew what kind of a man he was just by looking at him.
He was strong and fierce and loyal, maybe more muscular than he was intelligent. But that might have just been her pride and anger talking. She would have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the powers around him were conspiring against him, and she didn't have the time or the patience to convince him of something of that caliber. Instead, she wanted to focus on figuring out what to do next.
“So I suppose that you're going to take me back to your camp?" She said grimly.
“No lass, if you want to stay with Lord Todd that's fine. We can leave you right here.”
For some reason, the fact that he didn't seem to care what she did infuriated her more. She felt about him the same way that she felt for Carl when he seemed indifferent to her feelings while they were fighting. She believed that because they were in a committed relationship together, they had an obligation to respect one another's feelings.
Why would she feel this way about a stranger? There was no rule saying that strange men have to respect how she felt just because they were ridiculously attractive and muscular. Maybe she was fantasizing about being with him romantically, but that didn't mean that he had to honor any of her wishes. He didn't even have to save her, and yet he did so. In the dream, apparently she was filling the role of his lover, but why would they be fighting like this if that were true? She didn't want to fill the role of his lover. She just wanted to be herself.
“If that's true and you don't care, maybe I will just stay with Lord Todd. He seems smarter than you are anyway. He might be ugly, but at least he would listen if somebody told him he was in danger."
“The old scoundrel only cares about saving his own hide. He would run off with his tail between his legs whether the threat was real or not,” Blane said, cocking an eyebrow. “Now listen, I know this has been very hard on you. You don't really understand our ways yet. I don't know where you've been, but it's obvious that things are different there. Eventually, I think you're going to be able to fit in again. We'll go back to camp, and you can decide what you want to do after you get some rest and some food in your belly.”
She glumly followed behind Lord Blane, who had brought two men to accompany him as he searched for her. When she looked at the sky, she realized that she must have been missing for hours. He had been frantic with worry, she somehow remembered, when he saved her. But how would she remember when he saved her? She hadn't even been there. Something strange was going on. She wished there was some kind of legend about this, but nothing her mother had told her would prepare her for such a vivid and bewildering dream.
“Come lass, let's get you cleaned up,” he said with a scowl once they made it to camp.
“I'm fine," she said.
“No, you're not fine. I need to see how much harm has been done to you so I will know just how badly to kill Todd next time I see him hanging around here.”
Although she hadn't been asleep long enough to remember the actual confrontation that she had with Lord Todd, she remembered him drawing his sword on her and lunging forward. He'd wanted to take her back to his own clan and keep her for himself, relishing her pale skin and frail frame. He had said something about her being like a flower petal, his eyes wide and crazed with desire. She had tried to run, worried that he would overstep his bounds, and he had chased after her through the forest. He had grabbed her arm just long enough to throw her to the ground when Lord Blane had intercepted with a loud, furious roar and the clinking of metal.
She had never been so glad to see any man in her life, and somehow, the joy and the immense love that she felt toward him had apparently radiated vibrantly. They embraced, sharing a passionate and heated kiss, gripping each other's bodies like they hadn't seen one another in years. Somehow she had stayed with him in real time, losing her confusion and hard edge as she consciously spent her day doing housework and worrying that Carl was cheating on her. Images of her days overlapped and she brought her hand to her head, hissing in pain.
“What's wrong love?” Blane asked.
Suddenly his strong body was in front of her, cupping her face tenderly in his huge hands. She grimaced, still pained by the intense overlapping of memories, and fell limply into his arms, groaning as an agonizing rush of blinding light knocked her off her feet. He lifted her, mumbling to himself about how dead Todd was going to be once he caught him.
She tried to explain that Todd had nothing to do with this strange phenomenon, but she could hardly speak. He rushed to his private tent, laying her on his cot and retrieving a large basin of water and a rag. He dabbed her forehead tenderly, almost reverently, and gently peeled her shawl off, hoping to be able to study her arms and legs, making sure she wasn't physically hurt. She was too groggy to protest.
Alisa's eyes stayed shut as her mind fought for control and understanding. She felt like she had been put on a Ferris wheel, at turbo speed, whipping her around and around until she wanted to throw up. She groaned as he examined her body with a gentleness and love that she had never experienced from any man before. And yet it felt familiar. Right, somehow.
He breathed a heavy sigh of relief when he realized that she wasn't injured badly, and covered her with a tartan blanket. He spoke soothingly to her, even though he wasn't sure she could hear him, dabbing her head gently with his cloth.
“Looks like I didn't know what I was doing, love, pulling you out of thin air like this. Seems you're in a totally different world, somehow. I hope maybe you'll be able to meet me halfway.”
He pressed a gentle, reverent kiss on her forehead and sighed loudly, backing away to find someone to help him watch over her throughout the night.
6.
Alisa opened her eyes, expecting to wake up in Blane's dim tent. She narrowed her eyes in confusion and disappointment when the blinding fluorescent light of her bedroom flashed in front of her. Carl must have turned it on to ready himself for bed.
She watched him as he loosened his tie in front of the mirror, grinning at himself as if he had the world's juiciest secret and only he would ever know what it was. She felt a hot anger surge through her when he undressed and saw her rustling on the bed. He hopped under the covers.
“Could you get the light, babe?” he asked. She groaned, irritated and tired. Still, like a fool, she got up and turned the light off. When she came back to bed, Carl was looking at her thoughtfully.
“What?” she asked, pursing her lips to bite back the unkind words and accusations that were stirring in her mind.
Instead of answering, he kissed her and climbed on top of her body, rubbing his erection against her middle. She sighed as she felt a twinge of longing despite herself, and allowed him to slip her nightgown up. She gripped him, frowning privately. His small body seemed to be lacking something she was craving, something raw and powerful. Something like Blane.
Blane? She laughed and chastised herself for referring to a figment of her imagination by name. There was no way Blane was real, he was just a dream. She might as well try and enjoy her husband while she had him.
Carl pushed inside her, thrusting just a couple of times before he grunted and pulled away, rolling over to his side after kissing her politely on the cheek. Soon he was snoring with his back to her. Alisa was left frustrated and aroused, furious at
Carl and seriously wondering if she was having a nervous breakdown.
***
“You're there,” Blane said, his deep, smooth voice relieved.
“Yeah,” Alisa answered, pursing her lips. She was lying on his cot, looking into his gentle eyes. His skin was illuminated by a crisp, golden firelight. His dark hair was pulled back and his full lips were smiling at her. He had crouched beside the bed, probably all night, and after having a healer sent for and dismissed, discovered that she was fine. They had whispered in the corner before the healer left, promising to bring someone knowledgeable to help her in the morning.
“I missed you,” he said, breathing a soft laugh that conveyed she might never know how much he had missed her. And yet he still didn't have her back, not completely.
“I'm not that special,” she scoffed, snuggling back against his pillow. He raised his eyebrow at her, a comical look that made her laugh. “Really though. You know, my husband is cheating on me.”
“Your...what? Who is this man? What has he cheated you out of?”
Blane was looking at her again, suddenly serious, dabbing her forehead again with the cloth.
“Happiness,” she murmured, her loins still aching from the brief tease she'd endured earlier in the night. She wanted more than anything to pull this handsome man on top of her and satisfy her needs. But how could she do that with a stranger? Even if he claimed to love her, and even though his touch sent thrills all throughout her body, it wouldn't feel right. Not until...
Not until what? She got her memory of the highlanders back? As if that were possible. Anything she thought was a memory was still a dream. But since it was a dream, that meant it wasn't real and she should be able to do whatever she wanted. It wouldn't actually be cheating if she had sex with Blane, not if he wasn't even real. Maybe she was reluctant to let go of Carl. Even though she was miserable and tired of him, she wasn't sure he had cheated or if it had simply been her imagination.
“Your cheeks are flushed, love,” Blane whispered, his voice low. She shivered, trying to take her mind off of her longing.
“I still don't remember you,” she said. “I'm sorry. I want to.”
“I know,” he said, his Scottish lilt maddeningly sexy. “But don't worry. You will in your own time. There's plenty.”
But there wasn't. She sat up suddenly, her heart thudding in her chest. She felt like there was something she had to tell him, something urgent, but she couldn't remember what it was. She brought her hand to her head, the blood rushing to it rapidly, and groaned in frustration.
“No, no, it's all right lass. Don't trouble yourself. I'll get you whatever you need.”
“It's just...there's something...”
“Shhh. Lie down. It's going to be all right.”
“But last time I did that, I lost you again,” she murmured, raising her hand to touch his face. She fingered his strong cheekbone and he stared soulfully into her eyes, smiling comfortingly until she fell back to sleep.
When she stirred back into consciousness, she was terrified that she had lost Blane again. She was afraid to open her eyes, but the smell of campfire made her heart thud in her chest. She was still there. Thank goodness. But wait, did that mean she was slipping further into insanity? She would have to be sure to schedule an appointment with a therapist when she was back in her own bedroom.
“Alisa,” a familiar woman's voice rang out. The accent was more pronounced than she remembered it, but she sat upright so quickly she nearly howled in pain. Her head had been aching terribly ever since she had been feeling like she'd been experiencing two lives at once, and now the thudding was back.
“Mom?” she gasped, squinting through the pain to see her mother, dressed in a beautiful dress.
“Atta lass,” her mother said with a wink. “Looks like I've some explaining to do.”
Alisa swallowed hard. What was going on?
“This may be hard to believe at first,” her mother said. “So drink this now, it will help with the headaches. And things will be more clear. You'll need to drink an equivalent when you go back, too.”
“Go back?”
“You know, to California. With Carl.”
Her mother said Carl's name with a wrinkling of the nose.
“How will I...? I don't understand.”
“It's all right, sweet one, just drink this for now. When you're back, go visit your brothers. They'll know how to help you.”
Alisa's head was spinning and she drank the vial of pink liquid her mother had proffered. The headache suddenly disappeared and she felt whole for the first time since she'd begun reading that highlander romance from the library.
“You remember that legend I told you about Lord Blane Wyndham, yeah?”
Alisa nodded dumbly.
“The woman he loved was – no, is – you. You know it. You've just hidden the truth from yourself so well that it's taking a wee bit 'o time before it can come back. You sure surprised us all.”
“What are you talking about?”Alisa asked.
“During the wedding! Blipping out of there like it was nothing. Taking your whole self and not just your awareness. That's never happened before. All along the line, our family has had this power, but you're the first to completely disappear. I wanted to tell you so badly for so long, but you begged us to take the memory of your lost love away so you wouldn't come back and put him in danger. You were that afraid.”
“I'm still afraid,” Alisa said. “How do I know I'm not going crazy?”
“There will be signs,” her mother said with a wink. “But you may always wonder. That's probably normal.”
Alisa shook her head. Blane entered the tent, and suddenly the look he fixed upon her nearly brought her to tears. She believed it, deep within herself. Blane was the man she had loved, beyond time and space. And they had found each other again, despite her immense efforts to avoid that.
“They ambush you,” Alisa whispered urgently. “They take away everybody you love and you die. Don't ask me how I know. But I was in the future. I just feel it. We have to get out of here, now, and take everyone. We have to get somewhere safe.”
“What are you talking about?” Blane asked, suddenly pale.
“Lord Todd, he isn't just a pain in the ass. He's powerful. And I already tried telling you, those men, at least one of your men works for him. We have to smoke him out and save your clan. That's got to be why I came back.”
Her mother gazed at her proudly.
“You never fail to surprise me. I'll be waiting here with your true love.”
And with that, her mother left the tent and disappeared with the sound of galloping horses.
7.
“There's no way this is true,” Alisa whispered to herself when she sat up in bed. She stood shakily, still able to taste the sticky cherry flavored mixture her mother had forced her to drink. Water never sounded so good. It would wash the taste out of her mouth. Maybe it would wash out her crazy too.
When she felt a little more refreshed, after a long shower and some breakfast, she called her brother Simon, who she was closest to, both in age and geographically.
“Hey sis,” he said. She could tell he was smiling on the other line. “Been a long time.”
“Can you tell me if I'm crazy?” she asked, examining her reflection in the mirror.
“Certainly. But I have the feeling we shouldn't discuss this over the phone. Can you come by today?”
“Sure, Simon. No problem. We'll talk soon.”
“Great, bye!”
She hung up, feeling considerably more nervous than she had to begin with. She hurriedly got ready to leave and sped off toward Simon's house. He lived an hour away, so it was quite a trek, but she was willing to make it to discover the truth. Carl had left for work so he wouldn't be asking her what she was doing, not that he'd had much interest in her life lately.
She turned up the radio and began singing to herself, her mind swimming with images of Blane. His handsome body, ripplin
g with muscles brought her heart rate up, and she closed her eyes for a moment to calm herself. She looked back at the road and cursed, realizing that she had missed her exit. She sped up to the next and did her best to turn around in a suburban area that she had never been in before.
Suddenly, there was Carl's car. There was no mistaking his bumper stickers, trying to make accounting fun. He was parked in the driveway of a small bungalow. She peered closely at it and could make out his form, kissing another woman passionately. Angry tears sprung from her eyes and she groaned, speeding away and heading to her brother's house.
“We all told you he was no good for you,” Simon said matter-of-factly when he opened the door and saw her in tears. “Mom always knows what's best.”
“That's actually why I'm here,” she said, sighing.
“She told me you'd be coming. Before you say anything else, here. Drink this.”
Simon disappeared into the kitchen and reappeared holding a small vial. The look on his face took her aback. It was as if he were saying, “Yes, it's exactly what you're afraid to believe it is.”
She took the vial and examined it.
“Where did you get this?” she whispered.
“Mom made it. When you got stuck here and told us all to make sure you didn't go back for Blane. None of us understood why until...well. We just thought you missed him too much and felt guilty or something. But it was more than that, you wanted to save everybody. It makes a lot more sense now. The potions have kept you from merging your selves under one primary consciousness. I mean, you shouldn't be too surprised. Mom is a highlander married lowlander so we're kind of a mix. You knew that though.”
“Slow down Simon...”
“Right. Sorry. Drink it and you'll see for yourself. You won't give a crap what happens to the California you when you're back with Blane though,” he said with an annoying, brotherly smile.
“I can't believe this is really happening,” Alisa sighed. She brought the vial to her full lips and drank deeply. Soon, the world was spinning and she felt like she was being torn in half. It didn't hurt, but it was strange enough to make her groan.
BLU: Paranormal Fantasy Romance (LOST CREEK SHIFTERS NOVELLAS Book 3) Page 129
