Tell me he was leaving Maddie?
Or some other catastrophe I hadn’t thought of but would have to manage?
With one hand on the knob and the other on the door, he carefully shut the door without making a sound aside from the click of the latch.
“What’s up?” I whispered.
Gabe took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. “I…”
I waited a few moments to see if he’d continue on his own but gave up and prompted, “You what?”
He cradled the back of his neck with a hand. “I don’t know if I can do it,” he mumbled more to himself than me.
With each passing second, Freddie, the tinier twin, got heavier and heavier. I motioned for Gabe to take a seat on the couch while I settled on the opposite one, with a wiggling Freddie in my lap.
“Is everything okay?” I asked Gabe.
He nodded, staring at the table between the couches. Maddie had artfully fanned out my History Today journals and Economist magazines, which she knew I hated, but she claimed it was impossible to curb the designer impulse.
“He did it. Six times.” Gabe jabbed a finger at Henry VIII’s image on the cover of one of the journals.
Freddie reached for the journal, but I handed him a picture book that was in the magazine rack on the side of the couch. “Here you go, little man. This one is all yours to do what you want.” Which included pawing, drooling, and overall destruction. And he was the gentle twin. Ollie had special powers when it came to massive destruction.
Gabe smiled. “I’d like to have a son. Or daughter. A child. Healthy. That’s all I care about. I’m ready to start a family.”
“I’m jealous you won’t have to have your eggs sucked out of you to create one.” I smoothed the errant blond hairs on the top of Fred’s head as he’d wiggled out of the hood of his outfit. “I’d do it a million times again to have another Fred. Or Olivia.”
“The rate I’m going, it’ll never happen.” He slumped against the back of the couch.
Cold panic stabbed my gut. Had he decided to get off the pot? I forced out a laugh. “You kids today. In such a rush to settle down.” I continued laughing, hoping I could soothe his nerves.
He lurched forward to the edge of the cushion. “I do want to. Settle down, that is.”
“With?” I licked my lips, saying a silent prayer he wasn’t about to say he was dumping Maddie for a woman who’d make a proper mom, not one who wore Santa porn to a family dinner.
“Maddie, of course. I”—he dug into his chinos pocket—“have a ring. I just don’t know what to do with it. I mean, theoretically, I know but not the actual mechanics. Asking. I don’t know how to ask. What to say.”
Good God! Was everyone planning on popping the question at my house this Christmas? I, at least, had the decency to do it far away from home and not trouble everyone. Or Sarah did. On the Maddie front, this was great news. An unsettled Maddie was a dangerous Maddie. On the Troy front, it was a ticking A-bomb. Would he follow suit and ask Rose after Gabe got to a knee or whatever? Did men still do that?
Then there was the issue of Gabe and Maddie not dating all that long and the niggling feeling they were rushing. Each had mentioned wanting a family—a new development for both. Marriage, though, involved so much more than that. And, what would Helen think of her son marrying Maddie, who was a handful of years older than Gabe and who’d also left Peter at the altar? Helen was all for Rose’s relationship with the much-younger Troy, but would it be different when it came to her firstborn?
Not noticing my internal turmoil, he asked, “How did you pop the question? Or did Sarah?”
“Neither of us did, really. It all just kind of happened.” His face creased, so I rushed to explain. “You see, there was this spider and it bit Sarah’s ring finger, which caused it to swell. They had to cut it off—the ring. Not her finger.”
Gabe gaped at me as if I was a demented Mrs. Claus trying to kill all of Santa’s elves.
“There you are.” Sarah craned her head around the door, which she’d only opened partway.
I waved for her to come in and close the door, which she did.
Approaching us, she said, “What’s wrong?”
Everything! I was in over my head. I waved my hand over my head to explain without words.
Gabe flourished the blue Tiffany box.
Sarah covered her mouth with both hands to muffle a happy squeal.
“He’s asking for my help about how to pop the question.” I yanked on the collar of my sweater. “Is it a hundred degrees in here?” I leaned forward to peer into my son’s face. “Fred, are you hot?”
Sarah’s smile revealed she knew me better than anyone else in the world. “Go. Leave us to chat.” She put her arms out for Freddie, who was engrossed in the zoo board book. After handing him off to Gabe, Sarah walked me to the door. “Don’t say a word about this to anyone. Especially Maddie.”
“Avoid Maddie.” I raised a finger. “Got it.” I fled to the kitchen on the pretense that I needed to check the turkey. Had Sarah even put it in the oven? She’d mentioned it needed to go in at a certain point, but I’d lost track of time.
En route, the doorbell rang. “Got it!” I shouted to no one in particular, but it made me feel like a woman of action. Sarah wanted a perfect Christmas, and come hell or holy water, I’d make that happen.
I swung the door open.
“We’re early,” Ethan announced in a surly voice.
“Mom left us,” Casey said.
“Uh… what?” This was the last thing I needed on top of Gabe’s flip out and the Troy proposal bobbling on the surface of the Petrie shit wave. True, Ethan’s marriage had been teetering on the edge of destruction, but leaving on Christmas Eve… Only a sociopath would do that. So far, my tally included two possible marriage proposals and one heading for divorce court. And the party hadn’t officially started. Who knew what would happen when Peter and Tie arrived?
“Her mother is in the hospital,” Ethan hurried to explain. “She’s flying there now.”
“And our house is boring,” Casey added without much concern for her ailing grandmother.
My heart settled some, but one glance into Ethan’s eyes behind his thick lenses made the uneasiness swirl again.
“Nothing but excitement here,” I said in what I hoped was a confident and jolly voice.
“You have Netflix. That’s all I need. We cancelled our account.” Casey waved toodles on her way to the family room.
I gave my attention to Ethan. “Everything okay? With you and Lisa?”
“Is Maddie here? I need one of her eggnogs.” He wringed his hands.
“Family room.” It seemed best to let it go for now.
In the kitchen, I opened the oven door to check out the turkey, despite not knowing the positive or negative signs regarding cooking anything, especially a twenty-pound bird. As it turned out, the turkey wasn’t in the oven yet, making my pretend task much easier.
“Are Ethan, Lisa, and Casey here? It’s not even four.” Sarah asked, checking her watch to ensure the party time hadn’t actually arrived, or so I assumed. “I thought I heard their voices.”
I shut the oven door. “Casey wanted to watch Netflix.”
“And?” She tensed her shoulders as if knowing something was on the horizon. It seemed to be the theme of the day so far.
“And Lisa isn’t here. She’s flying home to see her mom, who may or may not be in the hospital. Not sure I’m buying the whole story.”
“Oh, dear. This isn’t good.” Sarah hugged her chest.
“I know. I’ll do my best to keep Ethan’s drama from ruining your night.”
“Lizzie!”
Fuck, I knew better from earlier. “What, sweetheart?” I replied in my cutest tone possible, which I hoped conveyed, Please go easy on me; I’m doing the best I can.
Sarah took in a sharp breath. “Ethan is our friend, and his marriage is on the rocks. Do you really think I’d put my plans above
that?”
I had, which clearly was the wrong answer given her flared nostrils. “Of course not. I was just… shit.” I palm-slapped my forehead. “I need to help Gabe in the garage. I just remembered.”
Sarah grabbed my arm as I tried to make my escape. Much to my surprise, she kissed me deeply.
“What was that for?” I asked.
“For being you.”
“That’s one of the nicest things you’ve said to me today.”
“Because I’ve been too much of a taskmaster, you mean.”
I simulated slamming my head into a wall.
She laughed. “Go before you dig a deeper hole.”
“I adore you. You know that,” I stated and planted a kiss on her cheek.
“Lizzie, come here!” Maddie shouted from the family room one hour after Ethan’s arrival when I was starting to con myself into believing I could avoid all the guests for the remainder of the day if I pretended to dash about doing party things. Keep moving. Never talk.
My instructions from Sarah had been clear about not alerting Maddie to the impending proposal, but how could I not respond to Maddie without raising her suspicion?
Bullying my nerve to be cool, calm, and collected, I waltzed into the family room. “You bellowed, Maddie dear.”
Maddie looked at me and then turned to Ethan. “She’s hiding something.”
“Am not!” I winced when my voice cracked.
Ethan, wearing a sweater depicting Santa on the toilet, grinned. “I think you may be right, Maddie dear,” he mimicked.
Ah, my delivery blew my cover. Stay calm, Lizzie. They knew nothing.
Both of their faces were flushed. “Are you two drunk?” I got closer and took a whiff. “Yuck,” I waved a hand in front of my face. “You smell like rum and stale cigarettes. Are you smoking again?” I asked Ethan.
He shook his head solemnly, making it loud and clear that was a resounding yes.
“Ethan! Lisa hates when you smoke.”
“Lisa hates everything about me these days. Or haven’t you noticed she’s not here on Ch-Christmas Eve?” He wobbled on his tall legs.
Reining in the desire to shout “Timber!” I opted for, “Oh, Ethan. You two will work it out. Just give her time.” I didn’t believe a word I was saying, but how could I tell my stubborn, catty, and fluid-adverse best friend that he was impossible to live with and quite frankly I was surprised he’d stayed married for as long as he had? He should chalk it up as a win and focus on being the best father on the planet. Prioritize. Clear goals helped me survive day to day.
Ethan clamped his hand on Maddie’s shoulder, all his fingernails perfectly trimmed and buffed. “Don’t ever get married, Mads. It’s not worth it. Marriage is the death knell for any relationship and crushes your soul.” He touched his free hand to his chest with his dramatic flair, although his inebriated state made the action much clumsier than normal.
My mind boggled with the turn of events. First, Maddie pondering popping the question. Second, Gabe hiding in the library, or possibly the garage again, with an actual engagement ring. My car did need an oil change. Was he an oil change kind a guy? Maybe I should ask. It could give him a viable excuse to hide, and the more guests who didn’t interact today the better.
Forcing my mind back on track, I listed the third event: Ethan advising Maddie not to get married because it’d ruin her. Oh, wait, there was still the Troy wanting to pop the question to Rose issue that Sarah was struggling with. And the troublesome members of the Petrie family hadn’t even arrived yet. What was it about the holidays that made everyone lose their frigging minds and then come over to my home and dump their relationship shit into my lap when all I wanted to do was make sure my wife’s planning went off without a hitch?
My social skills were not equipped for this. Not at all. Yet, my friends and family were constantly straining my abilities. Why did they assume I had all the answers or the ability to help them navigate life’s tricky waters? Sarah. The twins. We were an effective unit, and the glue was my darling wife.
There was a loud commotion in the living room, and part of me secretly hoped Hank had toppled the tree again, giving me an excuse to put all the ornaments back on and repair whatever damage had been done to the elaborate Dickens village, which spilled out several feet from the base of the tree, taking up a third of the living room. That type of diversion could take the rest of the evening. God knows it took me a full day to set up the tree and village according to Sarah’s specifications. The village, which had some houses on books under the white sheet covered with fake snow, even included an ice pond that moved skaters around on magnets.
The doorbell rang.
“The doorbell! Someone’s here. I should let them in. It’s the doorbell,” I blathered, dashing for safety.
I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone in white coats was trailing me. Clearly, I was one step from insanity, never to return.
Chapter Seven
On the porch, Peter and Tie stood awkwardly with as much space between them as the small entryway allowed. My gut said they’d just finished another epic marital spat or had called an uneasy truce to whatever battle had brewed on their hour drive from Denver to Fort Collins.
Peter, red-faced and lips pursed, gripped Demi’s car seat, his daughter fast asleep.
“Merry Christmas,” I said with forced glee. “Don’t you just love this time of year? The joy? Happiness? Family time?” With a wave of a hand, I said, “Come on in. Grab yourself some eggnog, and enjoy.” And if you could avoid screaming at each other, speaking to Maddie about the pitfalls of marriage, or anything else that could tip the already fraught evening into the deep end of batshit crazy, that would be much appreciated.
I ushered them to the left so they’d be on the other side of the house, nowhere near Maddie or Ethan, and I was contemplating cordoning them off from each other in two of the rooms upstairs for the remainder of the evening.
The bell rang again.
Painting on my everything’s fine expression, I opened the door. “Dad! Helen! Allen! Come on in. Isn’t this a magical evening?” Before shutting the door, I poked my head outside. “The snow has started, and it’s really coming down. That’ll be great for caroling, which is on the schedule for seven.” I tapped my Timex.
Helen and Dad exchanged a quizzical look but didn’t say anything.
“There’s eggnog and hot cider in the kitchen. Snacks are in the dining room. Gabe’s—” I stopped myself from saying either hiding in the library or the garage, trying to figure out how to pop the question. “In heaven. Not”—I pointed toward the ceiling with both hands. “I mean he’s happy… that it’s Christmas. Not for any other reason.” I waved my hands frantically in the air. “No siree. Everyone is in a festive mood. Let’s get this party started.” I conjoined my hands, praying for this night to end without a major mishap.
Now Allen, who was usually as clueless as I was and missed most social clues, was staring at me like I was a frenzied Christmas elf.
Before he could say anything, Helen ushered the men away from me, maybe fearful my insanity was catchy.
I rested my forehead against the back of the door, enjoying the coldness against my flushed skin.
“That was terrible. Even for you.” Sarah, with Ollie on her hip, smiled.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. For years, I was able to keep secrets. Now, with the knowledge Troy and Gabe are both planning to pop the question, the Maddie and Ethan situation developing in the family room, and Peter and Tie at each other’s throats”—I scouted the entryway to see if any unwanted ears were near—“I’m losing my shit.”
Sarah’s eyes glimmered with happiness. “I can see that. Take Ollie. She needs to be changed. I’ll see what I can do about the Maddie-Ethan thing.”
“Thank God!” I got a whiff of Ollie’s diaper during the transfer. “This will take a while!”
Sarah’s eyes narrowed. “You seem way too chipper about a nasty diaper.”
Maddie appeared like the Ghost of Christmas Past. “Have you seen Gabe?”
“Who?” I squeaked.
Sarah stepped in front of me, giving me cover to sprint upstairs to attend to Ollie under the guise of a catastrophic diaper situation.
I overheard Maddie say, “She’s acting weirder than normal.”
In the safety of the nursery, I whispered to Ollie, “Little girl, I may need your help tonight. Any time you need a change, just give me a shout.” I placed her on the table, unsnapped the bottoms with dancing reindeers—the second outfit for the day after her earlier breakdown—and lifted her bum to attend to the disaster zone. “Now that’s some serious poopage.”
“Pooo…” Olivia giggled, reaching for her toes.
“Yes, poop. You did a poop.” I yanked more wipes from the container. “Lots and lots of poop. You weren’t dipping into Aunt Maddie’s eggnog, were you?”
Ollie stopped giggling as if to ponder the question. Or to think of a lie.
“I’d never give a one-year-old eggnog. At least not with rum.”
I closed my eyes and let loose a string of curse words in my head. “Who knows with you?” I glanced over my shoulder to see Maddie holding Demi. “Another situation?”
Maddie’s pinched face was the only answer I needed.
“Here. Finish up with Ollie, and I’ll take care of Demi.”
Demi cooed.
I placed her on Fred’s changing table. “Yes, my little Demi, let’s get you cleaned.” I tweaked her nose.
Maddie affixed Ollie’s diaper and snapped her bottoms back into place. Instead of taking her back downstairs, she sat in one of the rocking chairs, cradling Ollie close. “I don’t think I can do it.”
“What?” I got Demi’s diaper off without gagging too much, something I didn’t think I was capable of until I had twins.
“Ask Gabe to marry me.”
You won’t have to.
“Why’s that?” I focused on the cleaning task at hand to avoid saying something I shouldn’t.
“I’m not sure marriage is for me. Look at Ethan.”
A Woman Loved Page 6
