“Alistair Connor?”
His name, softly spoken, took him out of his delirious state. He shook his head hard, irritated with himself.
Sophia combed his hair back, enchanted by the silky feel against her fingers. Will I ever get enough of this man?
“Aye?”
“Is everything okay?”
He inhaled and exhaled loudly, resting his forehead on hers. “No, Sophia, it’s not.” I’m dying of lust, of jealousy. I want you now.
She looked down at his tenting fly. “Are you...? Can I... help?”
Aye, you can give me a blow job. “Nae, I’ll be okay,” he shook his head again and thinned his lips. I’m a fucking idiot. I have to control this lust. His iPhone vibrated again in his inner pocket and he took it out. His mouth dropped open when he saw the message on the screen.
3.30. Beauty: ‘I’m having a business lunch with Ethan. I wish it were with you.’
He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think.
“Something wrong?”
He shoved his phone back into his pocket and shook his head at her. He couldn’t resist and embraced her fiercely, whispering on her ear, “I love you, you know?”
“Mmm,” she purred and lightly pushed him away. “Move, Alistair Connor. I need to use the toilet.”
“Come by my table on your way out, okay? I’m next to the column.” He bent and picked up her iPhone and purse, putting them on the small bench behind him.
“Okay. Incidentally,” she licked her swollen lips, “that was the best surprise of my life, Alistair Connor.”
He smirked at her, bent his head for a quick kiss and left the toilet with a light heart and a painful hard-on.
“Brother, you are incorrigible,” Tavish couldn’t contain his laughter anymore after Sophia left their table strolling through the restaurant with her head in the clouds.
Notwithstanding his arousal, Alistair was satisfied that Sophia had a dreamlike smile on her rosier face and that her eyes twinkled yellow diamond. He smiled smugly. “Tavish Uilleam, I couldn’t let her return to Ashford’s table without reminding her who is her man.”
Tavish threw his head back and laughed again. He wiped his eyes and looked at his older brother, not believing his ears. “Her man?” he chuckled. “Me, Tarzan. You, Jane. Pound your fists on your chest and roar, go on.”
Alistair grinned at his brother and said, “I can guarantee she liked it, Tavish Uilleam.”
“Alistair Connor, since Sophia entered your life, I’ve been having too much fun. I don’t know who is crazier: you or her.” Tavish shook his head slowly, flabbergasted.
“There’s no doubt, I win.” And he looked at the beautiful woman he called his and smiled devilishly, “But, she’s a fast learner. The way things are going, I can promise you she is going to be just as adventurous as I am.”
Tavish chuckled, “God help us then.”
Alistair grinned at his brother, “Amen.”
In the sky, over Northumberland County.
Friday, March 19th, 2010.
4.07 p.m.
Alistair looked down at the face of the woman beside him, and leaned over, kissing her soft and plump lips. “Sophia, love, wake up. We are almost there. I want you to see Ells Hall from above.”
“Mmm, I wasn’t sleeping,” she said, stretching her arms in front of her.
“I noticed.” He chuckled, “Your snores were-”
She slapped his thigh, “Hey. I don’t snore.”
Please, hit me again. “No, you don’t,” he shook his head, smiling. “But you talk. A lot.”
Sophia felt ice sift through her bones. “I. Talked. What did I say?”
Alistair studied Sophia’s suddenly pale face. What the fuck?
Distrust instantly elbowed his way into his mind. “Nothing intelligible. Why? Do you have something to hide?”
Oh. Thank God. Relief flooded her and she glanced out the helicopter windows. “Hide?” She let out a fake laugh. “Nothing. I have nothing to hide.”
He thinned his lips trying to control that surge of anger that filled him. More secrets, Sophia? “Why are you always hiding and lying, Sophia?”
She froze and peered at him through the corner of her eyes, her lashes lowered. Bad move. Bad move, Sophia. Her cold hand settled over his, but his strained expression didn’t soften. Sophia sighed. “Alistair, my dear. Please. Don’t be angry. There are things in my past that I still don’t understand and that scare the hell out of me. Things I’m sure I’d be better off not remembering.”
He inhaled and exhaled loudly. And his green eyes blistered her, “I don’t like secrets, Sophia. It doesn’t matter how much it hurts, the truth is always preferable.”
Oh, my dear, I can assure you, it’s not. My secrets are so dark they will drive you away.
He put his other hand over hers and said, “I’m not easily scared, Sophia. I’d rather know than stay in the dark. Sooner or later, I’ll know everything about you.” Even if you don’t tell me yourself. He pulled his hands away from hers and, crossing his arms over his chest, turned to look out the panoramic windows.
She enlaced her fingers and put her hands in her lap. “Please, Alistair, don’t be mad. It makes me feel so damaged not to remember everything.”
The soft confession deepened the frown on his brow. Fuck. I did it again. He stayed in silence for a few moments before saying, “Every time you retreat into one of your secrets, I feel excluded, lied to. I don’t like the feeling. I’ve been lied to too often in my life. Don’t ever lie to me, Sophia. Please.”
Maybe one day. Maybe one day I will find the courage to tell you everything. “I will never lie to you, Alistair Connor. That’s a promise.”
“Never lie...” he mused. And blurted, “But will you omit things, Sophia?”
How can he read me so well? “I don’t understand your fixation with my past.”
He closed his eyes for a brief second, “Heather had a very dark past, Sophia. Not that I’m saying you have one too. But I don’t do secrets. You can trust me.”
I’m not sure if I can trust myself. “Please, try to understand. I’m not hiding anything from you. I trust you, I told you that. But... I need a little more time... I need to... Before I tell you things, I need to fully understand them myself.”
“I see. So, let me be blunt.” Alistair’s face was taut and his eyes were dark as he loomed over Sophia. “I don’t give second chances. If I find out you’re lying or hiding something from me purposely, we’re done,” he slashed his hands in the air. “Kaput.”
Uh? Are you threatening me? “Alistair Connor. Don’t pressure me. You really have to work out these feelings. You should see a shrink.”
A shrink? I should call Baptist and see if he has news for me. He stared at her for a long time. Her steadiness, not wavering from his penetrating gaze, made him feel secure again. They were silent until Ells Hall appeared on the horizon. Alistair turned to her and pointed to her right, “Look down there.”
“Wow!” Sophia whispered and glanced at him surprised. “It’s wonderful.”
“My parents gave me Ells Hall and Airgead Caisteal when I got married. I will show it all to you. It may look stark and foreboding from the outside, but inside the staterooms are full of art and furniture, collected over the years by generations of the MacCraig family. Even though it is grand, we’ve tried to soften it with the fountains, lake and the gardens.”
His Mercedes helicopter landed softly in a clearing. Alistair gave brief instructions to the pilot for the two flights the following day, which would bring Gabriela, her nanny Maria, Ariadne and Lachlann and then Alice, Leonard and Tavish.
They walked hand-in-hand to the black Phantom Rolls-Royce that was waiting for them with a liveried driver, next to the landing area.
“Lord Ells, it’s good to see you again, sir. Ma’am.” A warm smile wrinkled the features of driver further. “Good afternoon.”
“Erskine,” Alistair put a hand over the
driver’s shoulder, saying, “this is my girlfriend, Sophia Leibowitz.”
Surprise flickered on the old man’s face at the mention of a girlfriend and his faded blue eyes brightened suddenly. He composed himself swiftly, only Sophia who was looking at him noticed.
“Sophia, this is Erskine. He taught me everything I know about cars. He has been honing my tastes since I was a kid.”
Sophia stretched her hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Erskine. I’m a fan of cars, too.”
“My pleasure, Ms. Leibowitz. Welcome to Ells Hall.” He opened the door for them and stored their luggage in the trunk.
The car entered a long and shaded alley with ancient oaks planted in a row on both sides, and stopped just before it reached the end, when Alistair asked Erskine to do so.
She raised her brows at Alistair, who gripped her hand, opening the door and pulling her after him. “Come. I want to show you something.” He exited the car and waited for her to join him. “Close your eyes,” he ordered.
She looked around, searching the woods for a clue of what he wanted to show her, “Here?”
His arms went around her waist and he dropped his head to lightly kiss her lips. “Please?”
“Okay,” she acquiesced and squeaked as he picked her up in his arms. “What are you doing?”
“Keep your eyes closed.” He walked a few steps and lowered her on the ground, flush to his body. As he put his arms around her and bending, placed his chin on her shoulder, he said, “You can open them now.”
“Oh, my,” she breathed. “It is... It’s the most beautiful house I’ve ever seen.”
The house was set in expansive fields with groups of trees scattered around and a forest behind it. Facing the entrance, was an incredible cascade of water which flowed from a set of fountains above.
“The waterfall, the fountains... It’s so charming.” She craned her neck to look up at his face. A big smile graced his features and his eyes twinkled. It was easy to see he was proud of Ells Hall.
“The waterfall has cut steps, each slightly different and with a variety of textures. You can hear different sounds as the water cascades down them. Look there,” he pointed to where it ended in a lake. Two pairs of swans, one white and one black, glided elegantly over the midnight blue surface.
She turned in his arms and plunged her hands in his hair. Standing on tiptoes, she kissed him on the mouth. “I could live here, if it were nearer London.” She looked back again over her shoulder, absolutely enchanted by the sight the house and the gardens provided. “How could you think I would not love it?”
He grimaced. “Heather never liked it. Alas, it’s always been one of my favorite houses. It became my refuge in England in the last months of my marriage.” The capricious wind toyed with his bangs and he absentmindedly pushed them aside, his eyes glued to the sight in front of him.
“When you were married...” she whispered. Oh, Alistair. Marriage is supposed to be the refuge.
His eyes slowly searched hers and he squeezed her tightly in his arms, a dark shadow clouding his rugged face.
London, Mayfair. Heather and Alistair’s Apartment.
Friday, November 30th, 2007.
10.13 p.m.
Alistair emerged from the bathroom in a plain white T-shirt and pajama shorts only to stop mid-stride, when he saw Heather sitting in the armchair wearing a tight short black dress and red spiked Louboutin stilettos. What the hell?
“Aren’t you going?” she blinked, naïvely, at his attire.
“Where?”
“To Emma’s party. She’s waiting for us. It’s her thirtieth birthday, honey.”
Emma? He rubbed a hand on his nape. I must have missed the invitation. “Heather. I just got home from work. I’m very tired. Can we skip it?”
She pursed her lips in a pout and twisted a lock of her blonde hair around her finger. “You know what? You are not fun anymore.”
Just because we haven’t been having wild, violent sex this year? “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I can’t drink while taking antibiotics, Heather. And I’m really beat, this week has been rough. You go. Kiss Emma for me.”
Heather demurely picked up her purse from her lap and stood up, “Oh, honey. I’ll miss you.” She kissed Alistair on the cheek. “I’m going to take the Porsche, all right?”
“Aye. Have fun.” Alistair looked at her retreating back, missing the victorious smile that had opened on Heather’s face.
A loneliness permeated his soul and he walked to his daughter’s room, softly opening the door and dimming the lights up a bit. The sight of the sleeping toddler in the bed soothed him.
He sat on the bed beside her and brushed his fingers in her hair, deep in thought. Doctor Lodes’s advice hadn’t left his mind, ‘Get rid of Heather’. But how could he do it, if just the thought of not seeing Nathalie every morning and every night made his heart ache?
Chapter 6
Northumberland. Ells Hall.
Friday, March 19th, 2010.
5.07 p.m.
As Erskine drove along the estate, Alistair continued to point out the different buildings and talking about the rooms, explaining the modifications his ancestors and, later, his parents and himself had made along the years. “When my father inherited it everything was rewired, the plumbing and heating were modernized, and he added bathrooms in all the bedrooms. The old and cavernous kitchen near the dining hall was remodeled and a smaller one was built closer to the family dining room. And, recently, I built a spa in the garden at the back of the main building. You’ll like it. It’s more modern and refined than Craigdale’s.”
A liveried man opened the car door and she stepped out, craning her neck to admire the impressive house.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Alistair paused behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, looking at the manor too.
“It’s fantastic.” The same coat of arms she had seen on a flag at the heliport was blazoned in stone over the tall portico’s façade. It featured a shield with two horses rampant facing each other separated by an armored knight holding a sword in front of him. Beneath it, a wide stone ribbon bore an etched heraldry inscription: ‘Veritas vos liberabit’.
It took but a moment for Sophia to translate. “Truth will set free?” Oh, damn.
“The family motto. One I fiercely believe.” His fingers kneaded her shoulders. He bent his head down and whispered in her ear, “I’ve booked a massage to relax you.”
She whirled and put her arms around his waist. “I don’t need a massage to relax.” She flexed her shoulders. “I’m relaxed.”
He smiled. “Believe me, you’ll need it after I’m through with you.”
“You pervert,” she slapped his butt. “You’d better book one for you too.” She laughed mischievously. “Don’t you forget that I’m younger-”
His mouth cut off her words in an intense and lustful kiss that left her panting, before he said, “And I’m stronger, lass. Better watch your mouth.”
She laughed again and gave him a kiss on the lips, “Never, my lord, never. It’s so much fun to provoke you. Come on, we are providing a show for your guests and employees.”
“Hmm,” he gripped her slim waist keeping her in place and looked into her eyes. “I think I’ll cancel that massage and give you one myself. Right now.”
“Do you only think about sex?”
“When I am with you? Aye,” he confirmed, unabashedly. “I can’t get enough.”
“If you behave,” she smiled and, standing on her tiptoes, murmured in his ear, “I have a surprise for you tonight.”
His eyes flamed, “I love surprises. Come, I want to show you a few of the rooms before we go to the gym.” He put his arm over her shoulder and started for the doors.
She looked around the majestic hall. “It’s so grand, Alistair.”
“Aye. I love Ells Hall. Let me warn you,” he said as he climbed the stairs to the first floor and turned left into a small corridor, dramatically paneled in bl
ack and gold damask silk, “so you don’t have a shock.”
“What?” She smiled at his teasing bow when he opened the last door and she entered the anteroom of the master chamber. It was paneled with oak and had walls hung with ancient tapestries. To the right, through an open door, Sophia could see striking antique furniture composing a small dining area.
“I don’t have OCD. So don’t expect my dressing-” He laughed as she slapped his biceps.
“Stop teasing. I don’t have OCD.”
“Maybe something worse, then?” his grin was positively naughty. He directed her to another door that lead to the enormous bedroom. “Through here.”
The bedroom was sumptuous and testified to tradition and power. On the floor, an enormous Persian rug gave the room even more grandeur. It was unlike any Sophia had ever seen, covering the floor entirely. Near the windows, there was a seating space with what looked like comfortable but very old armchairs and a sofa facing a large Regency secretaire library bookcase.
Against the farthest wall, an enormous four poster bed with a gothic headboard, lavishly draped with embroidered black and gold velvet, completed the dramatic ambient.
“My, Alistair Connor.” Sophia stopped in front of the bed. “How many can sleep in here?” She looked at him over her shoulder, “It would comfortably fit you, Tavish Uilleam and your father together.”
Why? Do you want them too? He shooed the thought away and focused on her question. “This bed was commissioned by my great-great-grandfather for his wedding night. He and his wife were both unusually tall and large so they needed space to-”
She whirled around, and slapped his arm again. “Spare me the details.”
When she looked at him, he wasn’t smiling any more. A strange expression lit his face.
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