‘Thank you.’
‘We should get out of the way,’ said Will. ‘In fact it would be nice to go somewhere quieter.’
‘I should hang around.’ She gave him an apologetic smile. ‘In case I’m needed for anything. Listen, it was great to see you again and I’m delighted everything is going so well for you, but I’m sort of busy right now so I have to say goodbye.’
‘Could we—’
‘Honestly. You know how it is at a launch. I need to schmooze.’
She smiled again, and then eased her way back into the throng of people. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it would explode, but, she told herself, only because his presence had been so unexpected. Nevertheless, it had been good to see him. He’d always been unfinished business in her mind exactly because she’d never said goodbye. But now she had. She’d moved on. In fact, she thought, she’d moved on from a lot of things tonight.
And moving on, being able to leave the trickier parts of her past behind, was surely just as important as making a success of the Ice Dragon collection.
Chapter 38
Turquoise: a greenish-blue variety of lapis lazuli
The guests were clustered around the tables in the dining room, eating buffet food in the reflected light of the ice sculptures. As Bey walked by, some of them stopped her and asked her about the collection, and told her how beautiful the pieces were. She recognised the voice of one of the women who’d been in the ladies’ earlier; she was going to buy earrings tonight, she told Bey, but she hoped her husband would buy her the bracelet for Christmas.
Bey thanked them all as she looked out for her father. She wanted to leave. She wasn’t running away this time, she told herself, but she’d done what she was here to do and she didn’t want to stay any longer. Not while Will was here. But she couldn’t see Philip anywhere. Adele, however, was holding court in the centre of the room, chatting to a group of guests, her jewellery flashing and sparkling in the light. She looked as elegant as ever, thought Bey, but for once the term Ice Dragon didn’t truly suit her, because she was laughing as she spoke, and the happiness on her face seemed genuine. Maybe she’d put the past behind her too. Maybe one day she might even speak to Lola again. Although that might be a bridge too far.
She didn’t want to interrupt her grandmother, and the only other Warren she spotted was Anthony, who was fastening one of the bracelets around a potential customer’s wrist.
‘As you can see, the clasp is very secure,’ he said, smiling at the woman. ‘It was specially designed for this collection.’
She decided there was no need to say goodbye. They were all doing what they needed to do. But her work was done.
She made her way to the entrance hall and asked about her coat and gloves, which were brought to her at once despite her lack of a ticket. Then she took out her phone and looked for the number of the driver who’d brought her to Ketteridge House. He’d said to call when she was ready to leave. But as she scrolled through her contacts, she frowned. She was certain she’d saved it, absolutely certain.
Maybe he was waiting outside anyway, she thought. She opened the door, shivering as an icy blast of air hit her. There was only one car on the gravel circle in front of the house – a black Mercedes limousine, which she supposed was for the rest of the family. The car Philip had organised for her had been a Mercedes too, but an ordinary saloon car in silver-grey.
‘Stood up?’
She turned at his voice behind her.
‘Looking for my car,’ she said.
‘Didn’t you call it from inside?’ asked Will.
‘Lost the number,’ she told him.
He laughed.
‘It’s not funny,’ she said. ‘It’s bloody freezing out here. I’m going to Hailo a cab.’
‘I already have,’ said Will. ‘It’s less than a minute away. ‘I’ll drop you home.’
‘There’s no need.’ She took her phone out of her bag again. ‘I’m sure there are plenty.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ he said. ‘Look, it’s pulling up now. You might as well get in. You’ll freeze out here.’
She shrugged.
‘Where to?’ he asked.
‘Ringsend. Where are you staying?’
‘The Westbury.’
She laughed.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘It’s where Dad offered me the job,’ she told him. ‘It’s where we often meet. But going to Ringsend will take you out of your way. Much better to go to the Westbury first.’
‘You’re always worried about taking me out of my way,’ remarked Will. ‘However, if it makes you happy . . .’ He gave the driver instructions.
The snow had stopped falling now, and although the side road from Ketteridge House was still covered, the main roads were clear. Bey sat upright in the back seat, making sure there was some distance between herself and Will. She felt she should keep talking but she didn’t know what to say. Until Cádiz, she’d always known what to say. But afterwards, she didn’t have the words.
‘It’s a long time since I was in Ireland,’ said Will. ‘It’s nice to be back.’
‘Didn’t you ever visit my dad here?’ asked Bey. ‘I wish he’d mentioned you were buying the stones. I did think,’ she added, ‘that the diamonds were exceptionally good.’
‘Thank you,’ he said.
‘Are you based full time in Germany now?’
‘I divide my time between there and Scotland,’ he told her. ‘It suits me.’
Bey frowned at his reply, but he’d moved on to talking about his business. By the time the car pulled up outside the hotel, he’d turned to reminiscing about their time together at Van Aelten and Schaap, remembering the pink diamond set she’d created for the Contessa.
‘It was gorgeous,’ he said. ‘Pretty and feminine without being too girlie. It was one of my favourites of all your designs. I so liked working with you,’ he added. ‘I really did.’
‘I liked working with you too,’ said Bey.
He looked at his watch and then at her.
‘D’you have time for a drink?’ he asked. ‘For old times’ sake.’
‘I’m not really a believer in old times any more,’ said Bey. ‘In fact, tonight was all about moving on for me.’
‘Please? We might not see each other again and I’d really like to . . . Well, you disappeared, Bey. One day you were there and the next you weren’t, and it would be lovely to talk.’
She didn’t need to talk to him. And yet she wanted to.
She opened the cab door and got out. The hem of her long blue dress skimmed the damp pavement as she followed him into the hotel and to the upstairs bar.
‘We’re closed, sir,’ said one of the bar staff.
‘I’m a resident,’ said Will. ‘Could you get me some coffee, please?’
‘Of course,’ said the staff member. He turned to Bey. ‘Madam?’
‘Coffee is good for me too,’ she said.
As they settled into two of the comfortable armchairs, Bey’s phone buzzed with a text message from Philip, asking where on earth she was and saying that the family was going back to Adele’s house to celebrate among themselves a little later and that they’d love her to be there too.
She replied that she’d already left but that perhaps she could celebrate with them another time. She realised, with a sense of surprise, that she wanted to.
Tonight was a great success , Philip added. We’ve sold the four statement necklaces. I can hardly believe it. Thank you so much. He even included a beaming emoji at the end. Bey smiled at it and sent back her own hand-clapping emoji, after which she put her phone back in her bag.
‘So,’ she said, as a waiter arrived with a silver pot of coffee. ‘What will we talk about?’
Will took his time pouring the coffee, then adding milk and an oblong of sugar to his own. He stirred it slowly before he spoke.
‘I wanted to tell you that Callista and I are divorced.’
Bey set the cup she’
d picked up back on its saucer. She said nothing for a moment. Eventually she looked at him.
‘Since when?’ She was finding it hard to sound casual when she’d just been shaken to the core.
‘Last year.’
‘Oh God,’ she said. ‘Was this because of . . . because of Cádiz?’
‘Of course not,’ said Will. ‘Cádiz was a moment. My marriage was much more than that.’
‘What happened?’ she asked.
‘Everything I say will sound like self-justification,’ he told her. ‘But the truth was that I was dazzled by Cally when I first met. She was so vibrant and lovely and so . . . so unlike anyone else I’d ever known that I wanted her for myself. I didn’t care that she was a city girl and loved the buzz and the socialising and everything to do with being out and about and seen in all the right places, while at heart . . . well, I do those things when I have to, but it’s not who I am. I thought it could be me. I wanted it to be me. For her. Because I wanted to be the person she chose.’
‘I always thought you were happy together,’ said Bey.
‘I wanted to be happy. I wanted her to be happy. That’s what you’re aiming for when you get married.’
‘And it went wrong? After Cádiz?’ Her voice trembled.
‘It was going wrong before,’ said Will. ‘But I swear to you I had no intention of . . . That kiss shook me as much as it shook you, Bey, but it was only a kiss. It would never have been more than that, I promise you. Because of all the people I wanted to be, I very definitely didn’t want to be the man who cheated on his wife.’
‘I never wanted to be the woman who helped him cheat,’ said Bey.
‘I tried doubly hard after Cádiz,’ said Will. ‘But it wasn’t enough, and we both knew it. Somehow things had changed. She was the one who said it first. She was always braver than me.’
‘I’m really sorry,’ said Bey.
‘So am I,’ said Will. ‘Nobody gets married thinking it’s not going to work out. You want it to, you really do. But sometimes you have to learn to admit you were wrong. I couldn’t change enough for her and she couldn’t change enough for me. We tried to keep it amicable.’ He made a face. ‘But we move in completely different circles now.’
‘Do you have children?’
‘Thankfully no,’ said Will. ‘I would’ve felt an even worse failure if there’d been kids.’
‘It’s always a shame when things don’t work out.’ Bey picked up Lola’s coat. ‘But I hope you’re doing well now.’
‘You’re going?’
‘It’s late. Tonight was a difficult night for me, and meeting you . . . having this conversation . . . There’s only so much I can process in one go.’ She pulled on the coat in one fluid movement. ‘I hope . . . well . . . good luck, Will,’ was all she could say.
She headed for the stairs, blinking tears from her eyes.
Tonight had been her triumph, her glorious success in the eyes of the Warren family. Tonight she’d been the Bey she’d always wanted to be. As she’d stood on the stage beside her grandmother, doing the right thing, she’d really and truly felt as though she’d left the past behind.
But the past wasn’t only about the Warrens. It was about Will Murdoch too. Listening to him talk about the breakdown of his marriage had made her realise that she’d allowed herself to have feelings for him precisely because he wasn’t available. Being in love with him had meant she didn’t have to try with anybody else. That she didn’t have to let anyone else in. That she wouldn’t be hurt.
But she’d been hurt anyway. And no matter what Will said, Callista had been hurt too. Maybe it had nothing to do with Bey. Maybe their marriage would have failed anyway. But she hadn’t helped.
She stepped outside the hotel and shivered. The snow had started to fall in big lazy flakes that were getting faster and faster. There were no taxis at the stand, and when she tapped the app on her phone to hail one, it said that they were currently experiencing heavy demand and no cars were available.
‘Dammit,’ she muttered. ‘Not again.’
The doorman told her that there was about a thirty-minute wait for cabs and that there were a number of guests ahead of her. She thought about walking to College Green to see if she could hail one directly, but when she said this out loud, he shook his head.
‘Busy night,’ he said. ‘Lots of events on in the city. Better wait here. It’s warmer, for a start.’
She sighed and sat on the bottom step of the staircase. She wouldn’t have been able to walk anyhow; her feet were killing her in her high heels. She undid the buckles on the pretty blue sandals and wriggled her toes.
‘Cinderella?’
It was Will again, standing on the stair behind her.
‘Apparently there’s heavy demand for coaches tonight,’ she told him. ‘But don’t worry, I’m sure there’ll be one soon.’
‘They’re not glass slippers, but you left these behind.’ He held out Lola’s gloves.
‘Oh, thank you,’ she said as she took them from him. ‘They’re my mum’s. She’d be really mad at me if I lost them.’
A taxi pulled up outside the hotel. She looked at it hopefully, but the doorman shook his head and ushered a couple who’d been standing out of sight towards it.
‘Still a few people ahead of you,’ he told her.
‘Are you sure you want to wait here on the stairs?’ asked Will.
‘If I leave, I’ll never get a cab,’ she said.
‘How long?’ He raised his voice to the doorman.
‘Half an hour,’ he replied. ‘Maybe more. It’s the Christmas rush, you see.’
‘Bloody hell, it’s only November,’ objected Will.
‘Earlier and earlier every year,’ said the doorman. ‘We start Christmas before Halloween these days.’
‘Which I shouldn’t complain about,’ Bey said to Will. ‘After all, I need people to buy my stuff.’
‘Your own stuff or the Ice Dragon collection?’ he asked.
‘The Ice Dragon belongs to the Warrens,’ she told him. ‘There have always been two Beys. Haute Joaillerie Bey and Bijou Bey.’
‘There aren’t many people who can be both,’ said Will.
‘Versions of me.’ She smiled. ‘I was thinking about it earlier. But sometimes it’s hard to know which the right one is.’
‘In both versions, you’re the most beautiful, wonderful girl in the world,’ he told her. ‘And I’ve thought that for a very long time.’
She stared at him.
‘I always loved working with you,’ he said. ‘But after you’d left . . . I thought I missed your brilliance as a designer, but it was more than that. And I kept thinking that if Cally and I had truly been right for each other, I’d never for one second have thought of you as anything other than the most talented designer I’d ever worked with. All the same,’ he added, ‘you were gone. I tried to make my marriage work. I did my best.’
‘Don’t make excuses.’
‘Cally’s engaged to someone else. The guy she was going out with before me. After the divorce, I made a different life for myself. I felt I needed to atone somehow. We all have parts of ourselves that we’re proud of and parts that we’re not. We all do great things and make terrible mistakes. We want to get it right but we get it wrong.’
Bey thought of Adele and Richard, Lola and Philip. All making mistakes. All with triumphs and disasters in their lives. Just like her. And just like Will. Nobody got it right all the time, she realised. Most people just stumbled their way through life hoping for the best. Hoping to be rich and happy. Or happy at least.
‘It’s taken me a while to figure out my own mistakes,’ said Will when she didn’t speak. ‘For a long time I moped over them. But you can’t do that forever.’
‘My grandmother – Eilis, not Adele – said something similar to me once,’ said Bey. ‘She was right.’
‘So . . . where does that leave you?’ he asked.
Another taxi pulled up. The doorman went in sea
rch of the guests who’d ordered it.
‘Not feeling guilty about getting some things wrong,’ she said. ‘Happy that there’s more than one side to my character. And not running away any more when things get tough.’
‘And yet you’re running away from me,’ he said.
She shook her head. ‘I’m not. I’ve made my peace with our . . . moment. I’m truly sorry if it might have triggered the beginning of the end of your marriage, but I’m not going to blame myself for it. Same as I’m not going to blame myself for . . . oh, so many things I’ve done and not done.’
‘You really have changed,’ he said. ‘I’m happy for you, Bey.’
‘Thank you.’
The doorman returned. He told Bey he couldn’t find the guests who’d ordered the taxi and it was hers if she wanted it.
‘Great,’ she said as she fastened her sandals again.
‘I guess it’s goodbye once more,’ Will said. ‘And good luck for the future, Bey. I don’t think you’ll need it, because the Ice Dragon is going to be a roaring success. It already is. Maybe you’ll buy more stones from me one day.’
‘Maybe.’
There was nothing else to say. She walked outside. The snow was settling now, and muffling the sound of the taxi’s engine as it idled in front of the hotel. She opened the door and slid into the back seat. She was thinking about love and loss. Mistakes and atonement. About getting it wrong and getting it right. Wanting the things she couldn’t have. And the things she could. She looked through the misty window of the cab. The doorman was rubbing his hands in the cold night air. The cab driver waited for her to give him directions.
She opened the door again.
Will was sitting halfway up the stairs when she walked back into the hotel.
‘Forget something else?’ He stood up.
‘No,’ she said. ‘But I do need to find something out before I can properly make my peace with all the Beys I seem to be.’
‘What?’ he asked.
‘How much of a mistake I made in Cádiz,’ she said.
What Happened That Night: The page-turning holiday read by the No. 1 bestselling author Page 40
