Or was he looking for a way to keep her with him?
It was a shock to think his motives were perhaps not as altruistic as they ought to be. The energy he felt with Holly, the electric buzz of sensation and thrill of her, overrode everything that was logical and responsible in him.
Her eyes widened momentarily before narrowing. ‘Why?’
‘I just do.’
She dropped her gaze from his. ‘Thank you.’ Her voice was just a thread of sound. Then she seemed to gather herself and brought her eyes back to his for a brief moment. ‘Well, goodnight, then,’ she said and left him with just the lingering scent of her fragrance to haunt his senses.
CHAPTER NINE
HOLLY CLOSED THE door to her bedroom and leaned back against it as she let out a long, shuddering breath. Julius believed her. He actually believed she hadn’t tried to steal those wretched cufflinks. She hadn’t registered she’d put them there, or at least not consciously. It had been a knee-jerk reaction to being discovered in his room. She must have slipped them into her pocket when she’d first heard Sophia and forgotten about them.
But Julius said he believed her.
How could he? She would never have believed him if the tables had been turned. But then, she was cynical. She didn’t trust anyone. She was always on guard, always watching out for someone to take advantage, to rip her off or exploit her.
Was Julius different? Was he the sort of person to suspend judgement until reliable evidence came in?
Holly wondered if she had done herself a disservice by antagonising him so much. He might turn out to be the best ally she had ever had. But from the moment she had met him she had put him off-side. Winding him up, needling him, making him believe things about her that weren’t true.
Was it too late to turn things around? Could she even bother? She would only be here another couple of weeks and then she’d be gone. It had never worked for her to get too attached to anyone or any place. They always changed. People changed. Circumstances changed. One minute she would feel marginally secure and then the rug would be ripped out from beneath her and she would hit the hard, cold floor. This time with Julius in his flash villa was a temporary thing. There would be no point in getting too comfortable. He hadn’t even wanted her here in the first place. She was a burden he had to bear.
Why was she always a burden?
Why couldn’t someone want her in spite of all her faults? In spite of all her failings? In spite of all her stupid impulses that caused her more trouble than she wanted?
Her body was still firing with the sensations Julius had made her feel. Cataclysmic sensations she had never felt before. He had barely touched her and she had gone off like a firecracker. But he had remained in control. She had even offered to pleasure him and he’d held back. She still couldn’t understand why she had done that. Why she had felt such an urgent desire to take him in her mouth bewildered her. She loathed oral sex. The musky, stale scent of a man usually nauseated her.
But with him it was different.
He wasn’t musky and stale. He was fresh and intoxicating in his maleness. She had wanted to explore him, to pleasure him, to make him buckle at the knees in the same way he had done to her. But he hadn’t insisted on her doing it. He hadn’t pressured her.
He’d protected her by his restraint.
He’d pleasured her without wanting or insisting on anything in return. Even now she could feel the aftershock tremors moving through her body, awakening more news: new needs, needs that wanted—craved and hungered—to be assuaged. Maybe that was his power trip. Maybe that was his way of keeping a step in front of her. Maybe his self-control was superior after all. Far more superior than she’d thought.
Something had changed in their relationship...something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. No one had given her the benefit of the doubt before. No one.
No one had made her feel the things Julius made her feel. No one.
No one had seen behind the mask she wore to the person she wanted to be.
No one.
* * *
When Holly came downstairs to organise breakfast the following morning, Sophia was already up and about. ‘I’m going to spend a few days with my sister,’ Sophia said. ‘You’re doing so well managing things here I thought I’d make the most of it by having some time off. Maria’s picking me up in a few minutes.’
Holly frowned. ‘Is Julius okay with that? I mean, leaving me in charge?’
‘He’s the one who suggested it.’
Holly’s frown deepened. ‘Really?’
Sophia nodded. ‘He’s also worried I might be tempted to do too much. I think he’s right. I have been overdoing it. But this little break will help.’
‘But what will Natalia have to say?’ Holly said. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be the one mentoring me?’
Sophia’s expression turned to one of concern. ‘Would you rather I didn’t go? I can cancel if you like. I’m sure my sister won’t mind.’
‘No, don’t do that. I’m just wondering about the programme.’ And being left alone in the villa with Julius without a chaperone.
‘Señor Ravensdale is the one who is ultimately responsible for you,’ Sophia said. ‘I’m here as a guide but you don’t need me. In many ways you’re more competent than me. Your cooking is restaurant standard. I’m the one who should be taking lessons off you.’
‘Yeah, well, it’s easy to cook nice things when you have access to top quality ingredients,’ Holly said.
Sophia smiled. ‘Would you mind taking Señor Ravensdale’s breakfast to him? He’s in the morning room upstairs.’
‘Sure.’
‘Ah, that’s Maria’s car now.’ Sofia gave her one last smile and left.
Holly waited for the coffee to percolate before she put it on the tray to take upstairs. The morning room was on the second level of the villa, which wasn’t convenient to the kitchen in terms of serving breakfast, but it had a lovely easterly aspect overlooking the gardens and the lake. She had been in a couple of times to dust and vacuum. It was decorated in soft yellows and cream with a touch of blue, giving it a fresh energetic look perfect for the start of the day.
When Holly shouldered open the door, a quake of dread moved through her. The French doors leading to the balcony were wide open. Julius was sitting in a patch of sunlight at the wrought-iron table with some papers set in front of him. The slight breeze was ruffling the pages, and she watched as one of his hands reached out to anchor them.
He must have sensed her presence, or maybe he heard the slight rattle of the cup in the saucer on the tray she was carrying, for he looked up. ‘Good morning.’
Holly swallowed a bird’s nest of panic. Fear crawled over her scalp. Her blood chilled, freezing in her veins until she was certain her heart would stop. Her feet were nailed to the floor. She couldn’t move. She was frozen.
Julius frowned. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’ Holly took a step forward but couldn’t go any farther. ‘Um, would you come and get this? I’ve left something on the hob downstairs.’
‘Why don’t you come back and join me?’ he said as he took the tray from her and placed it on the table on the balcony.
‘No thanks.’
‘Got out of the wrong side of the bed, did we?’
‘Wasn’t in it long enough,’ she said with a little scowl.
He surveyed her features for a beat or two. ‘Come on and join me once you’ve turned off the hob. It’s a lovely morning. There’s enough food and coffee here for both of us. Just get another cup and saucer.’
‘I said no.’
Julius shrugged as if he didn’t care either way. ‘Suit yourself.’
‘Could you bring the tray back down when you’re done?’ Holly said as she got to the door.
He turned around to look at her. ‘Isn’t that your job?’
She held his penetrating look. ‘Is that why you’ve sent Sophia away? What is it about having someone wait on you that gives you such a thrill? Is it the power? The authority? The ego trip?’
A frown tugged at his brow. ‘Doesn’t the fact I asked you to join me for breakfast demonstrate I’m not on any power trip?’
She crossed her arms and sent him a hard glare. ‘So what was last night all about, then?’
He let out a rough-sounding breath. ‘Last night was... I was wrong to let things get to that point,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry.’
Holly wasn’t ready to be mollified. She was still feeling annoyed he’d been able to prove his point so easily. He had won that round. She had responded to him like a sex-starved fool. Which was basically what she was, but still...
He came to where she was standing. He didn’t touch her but was close enough for her to feel the tempting warmth of his body. His dark-blue eyes held hers in a gentle lock that made her wonder if he was seeing much more than she wanted him to see. She tried to keep her expression blank but she wasn’t quite able to stop her tongue from quickly moistening her lips. She watched as his gaze dipped to follow the movement before coming back to reconnect with hers.
‘This thing we have...’ he began.
‘What thing?’
‘I’ve never met someone who’s got my attention quite the way you have,’ he said.
‘Well, they wouldn’t have a chance with you locked away in your mansion with no social life to speak of, now, would they?’
He gave her a wry hint of a smile. ‘I get out when I need to.’
‘When was the last time you—’ Holly put her fingers up in air-quotation-marks ‘—got out?’
‘I had a brief relationship a few months back.’
‘Who was she? What was she like?’
‘Someone I met at a conference in Santiago,’ he said. ‘She was beautiful, well educated, came from a good family. She had a nice personality...’
‘I’m hearing a big “but”.’
‘No chemistry.’
‘Not good.’
‘Definitely not good.’ He brushed a stray strand of hair back from her forehead. It was the lightest touch but it made every nerve in her body shudder in delight. Had anyone ever touched her as gently? Had anyone ever looked at her so intently? As if they wanted to see right into the very heart of her?
‘So who broke it off?’ Holly said. ‘You or her?’
‘Me.’
‘Was she disappointed?’
‘If she was, it can’t have lasted long as she got engaged a few weeks later to a guy she’d been dating before me.’
‘You win some, you lose some.’
His eyes did that back-and-forth searching thing with each of hers. ‘It would be highly inappropriate for me to get involved with you,’ he said. ‘You do understand that, don’t you?’
‘We’re both consenting adults.’
His finger traced the underside of her jaw in a feather-light touch. ‘It’s not a matter of consent. It’s a matter of convention.’
Holly twisted her mouth in a cynical manner. ‘Oh, right—the upstairs, downstairs thing.’
He frowned. ‘That’s not what I meant at all. It wouldn’t reflect well on me if I were to engage in a relationship with you. It would look like I’m exploiting you.’
‘But making me fetch and carry and ordering me about doesn’t?’
He dropped his hand from her face. ‘You really suit your name. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone more prickly.’
‘Your breakfast is getting cold,’ Holly said, nodding towards his abandoned tray out on the balcony.
Julius narrowed his gaze in thoughtful contemplation. His forehead was lined like tidemarks on the seashore. She could almost hear the cogs of his brain going around. ‘You don’t have anything on the hob, do you?’
Holly tried to disguise a swallow. His dark blue gaze was probing. Like a strong light shining into the outer limits of her soul. ‘No...’
‘So unless it’s my company there’s some other reason you don’t want to have breakfast with me on the balcony,’ he said in a tone that sounded as if he was thinking out loud.
A loaded silence passed.
Holly let out a shaky sigh. ‘I have a...a thing about balconies.’
‘You’re scared of heights?’ He didn’t say it in a mocking way. He simply stated it as if it was perfectly reasonable for her to be scared and he wouldn’t judge her for it.
Holly felt something hard and tight slip away from her heart. As if a rigid band had come undone. ‘Not heights, specifically. Just balconies.’
He took one of her hands and held it in the shelter of his. His thumb stroked the back of her hand in a slow, soothing motion. ‘That’s why you didn’t want the room Sophia prepared for you, isn’t it?’
Holly pressed her lips together. Hard. She never spoke to anyone about this stuff. It was stuff she had locked away. But for some reason Julius’s gentle tone picked the lock of her determination. He had unravelled the tightly bound knot of her stubborn pride. She released another sigh. ‘I got locked out on the balcony when I was a kid,’ she said. ‘It was something my stepfather thought was entertaining. Seeing me out there in all sorts of weather. He wouldn’t let me come in until I said sorry for whatever I’d supposedly done. Not that I ever did much; I only had to look at him a certain way and he’d shove me out there.’
Julius’s frown was so deep it was like a trench between his eyes. ‘You poor little kid. What about your mother? Didn’t she stand up for you?’
‘My mum was unable to stand up for herself, let alone me,’ Holly said. ‘He’d done such a good job of eroding her self-esteem, she chose death instead of life. He drove her to it. He hates me because I didn’t cave in to him. That’s why he keeps making trouble for me. He follows me wherever I go. He has ways and means of reminding me I can’t escape. But I will escape. I’m determined to get away and make a new life for myself.’
Julius took both of her hands in his, holding them gently but securely. ‘He can’t touch you while you’re with me. I’ll make sure of it.’
Holly’s chest swelled with hope at his implacable tone. How long had it been since she’d felt safe? Truly safe? ‘Thank you...’
He touched her face with a barely there brush stroke of his bent knuckles. His eyes had a tender look that made the base of her spine hum. ‘I can’t imagine how difficult your life must’ve been compared to mine,’ he said. ‘No wonder you came in that first day with your fists up.’
‘Yeah, well, sorry about that, but I like to get in first in case things turn out nasty, which they invariably do,’ she said. ‘Maybe it’s my fault. I attract trouble. I can’t seem to help myself. It’s automatic.’
‘No.’ His hands took hers again in a firm but gentle hold. ‘You shouldn’t blame yourself. Your stepfather sounds like a creep. He belongs in jail, not you.’
Holly looked at their joined hands. Hers were so small compared to his. She slowly brought her gaze up to his. His eyes meshed with hers in a look that made her legs feel fizzy. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ she said.
‘How am I looking at you?’ His voice was a deep, resonant rumble.
‘Like you’re going to kiss me.’
He brushed an imaginary strand of hair away from her face. ‘What gives you the idea I’m going to kiss you?’ His mouth was half an inch from hers, his breath a warm, minty breeze against her lips.
‘Just a feeling.’
His lips nudged hers in a playful manner. ‘Do you always trust your feelings?’
Holly slipped her arms around his neck and pressed herself closer. ‘Mostly.’
His mouth brushed
hers, once, twice, three times. ‘This is crazy. I shouldn’t be doing this.’
‘This being...?’
He rested his forehead against hers. ‘Tell me to stop.’
‘No.’
‘Tell me, Holly. I need you to tell me.’
‘I want you to kiss me,’ Holly said. ‘I want you to make love to me.’ As soon as she said the words, she realised how much she meant them. How from the moment she’d met him she’d been drawn to him like a moth to a bright streetlight on a hot summer’s night. The desire he triggered in her was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. She wanted him. She ached for him. She burned for him.
He looked at her with darkened eyes, the pupils wide with desire. ‘Why?’
‘Because we’re attracted to each other and we might as well make the most of it.’
One of his hands cupped her face, the other rested in the small of her back. ‘Why me?’
‘Why not you?’ she said. ‘You’re single. I’m single. What’s the problem?’
He was still frowning. ‘Is once going to be enough?’
Holly stroked the side of his jaw. ‘Do you have to think about everything before you act? Don’t you ever just go with the flow?’
He turned her palm towards his mouth and kissed it, all the while holding her gaze. ‘Do you ever stop and think before you act?’
She shivered as his kiss travelled all the way to her core. ‘I’m thinking we should make the most of the fact that Sophia’s away with her sister.’ Is that why he’d sent his housekeeper away? Perhaps it was unconscious on his part but he had cleared the way for them to indulge in an affair without an audience.
He framed her face with his hands, his expression darkly serious. ‘I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone else.’
‘Same.’
His head came down, and his mouth sealed hers in a kiss as hot as a flashpoint. Heat pooled between her legs as his tongue drove through the seam of her mouth to find hers. Lust raced through her blood as he stroked and thrust and cajoled her tongue into play. His body crushed hers to his, every hard contour of his enticing every softer one of hers. Her breasts peaked against his chest, her pelvis thrumming with want as she felt the thickened ridge of him.
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