“What do you think?” Hattie asked from her seat on the front porch steps. “They were dropped off an hour ago. I have to decide what to do with them.”
Jack’s mother was more mobile these days, using a cane to get around. She’d dressed in a bright pink sweat suit and had pulled her long hair back, tying it with a matching ribbon.
“What’s all this?” a familiar male voice asked. “Puppies? Not again.”
Katie turned and saw Jack approaching from the barn. Instantly her body went on alert and her lips curved into a smile. Pleasure filled her at the sight of him. Tall, strong and so very easy to lean on, she thought, remembering how he’d held her the night she’d returned from Los Angeles. That wasn’t all he’d done, she thought with a shiver of pleasure, but this wasn’t the time to dwell on those particular memories.
“I completely forgot about them,” Hattie said. “What with the accident and all. I’m in no position to take care of them. I guess I’ll have to call to have them taken back.”
Shane sat up, the largest puppy clutched to his chest. He giggled as a pink tongue came out and licked is chin. “Don’t you want them anymore?” he asked, clearly confused by Hattie’s willingness to return such bounty. His tone indicated it wasn’t possible for anyone to reject puppies!
“They’re not mine,” Hattie explained. “Every year I take in two or three puppies. I raise them here on the ranch and teach them how to behave. When they’re old enough, they go on to learn how to be guide dogs. Do you know what those are?”
Shane screwed up his face. “You mean like those dogs that help blind people?”
“Exactly. I teach the puppies to obey simple commands. I have to make sure they get exposed to different kinds of people and animals so they won’t be easily startled. I have to love them and then be willing to let them go when they’re ready for the rest of their training.” She tapped her cane. “Unfortunately I’m not in a position to do that now.”
Shane turned his big blue eyes on his mother. “I could help,” he said cautiously, testing the waters. “I mean I don’t know anything about puppies and guide dogs, but I could learn. If I did all the work, couldn’t they stay?”
Katie winced. She knew exactly where this conversation was heading and she didn’t know what to do about it. Three puppies would soon grow into three large dogs. Her house would be ready in about a month, which meant either Shane left the dogs here, or they took them with them. Was she prepared to take on that much responsibility?
“Shane, I know you’d do a good job,” she said gently. “But I doubt you’d be able to give them up in a year. You’d love them too much.”
“I could let them go.” He looked at Hattie. “Do they all become guide dogs? Every one of them?”
Hattie glanced at Katie, seeking guidance. Katie didn’t know what to tell her. She shrugged.
“Not all of them,” Hattie said cautiously. “Sometimes they can’t complete their training. Those dogs become pets.”
“So maybe we could keep one,” Shane said eagerly. “I mean if they didn’t pass their tests. Or we could take a different dog who wasn’t going to be a guide dog. That would be okay, wouldn’t it, Mom? You said I could have a pet when we got our house.”
Jack walked over to stand next to her. “Are you being trapped by your own promise?”
She gave a soft laugh. “Sort of. I’d foolishly pictured a small cat or a bird. Not three growing puppies.”
Shane jumped to his feet and raced to his mother. The puppies ran after him, tumbling over their too-big feet and barking gleefully at the game.
“I can do it,” Shane promised, pressing his hands together and staring at her intently. “I’ll feed them and clean up after them. Hattie can teach me how to train them while we’re still here, right?”
Hattie shook her head. “Keep me out of this, young man.”
“But you know she would,” Shane said, and bit his lower lip. “I’ll take real good care of them. You’ll see. And if I prove myself, then I can get a real dog to keep for always. Wouldn’t that be good? I’d be practicing taking care of my dog. I’d learn responsibility.”
“Give me a minute,” Katie told him. Shane opened his mouth to say more, then nodded and ran onto the lawn. The herd followed, and soon they were a tangled frenzy of fur and laughter.
Shane was saying what every child promised to get the pet he wanted, Katie told herself. The difference was she couldn’t remember when he’d ever asked for anything before. He wasn’t the kind of child who begged for every toy or game. For many years, money had been tight, and he’d responded by keeping his Christmas and birthday lists modest.
Jack leaned close and whispered in her ear. “Despite Mom’s reticence on the subject, I know she’ll help him out. She’s been raising puppies like these for years. It’s not hard. She just doesn’t want to make things more difficult for you.”
“I figured that,” Katie said. “But thanks for telling me.” She hesitated. “You won’t mind having them around until our house is ready?”
“This is a working ranch,” he reminded her. “Puppies aren’t going to make much of an impact.”
She walked over to her son and crouched next to him. One of the puppies, a pretty-faced female, plopped next to her, rolled on her back and gave an engaging doggie smile, inviting her to rub her tummy. Katie obliged. The puppy wiggled in ecstasy.
Shane looked at her but didn’t say anything.
Katie sighed. “You have to really understand that the puppies are going away in a year. We can plan on getting a different dog then, but it’s very possible that all these puppies will do well in their lessons and become guide dogs. You can’t change your mind once you take this on.”
“I know.” He pushed up his glasses. “I’ll be sad when they leave, but I’ll know they’re going to help someone. That’s a good thing, right?”
“Right.” She bent over and kissed the top of his head. She was probably making a huge mistake, but she couldn’t help herself. “Yes, you can keep the puppies.”
Shane yelled in delight and flung his arms around her neck. “You’re the best, Mom.”
“Yes, I know. Just you remember that the next time I ask you to clean your room.”
“I will, I swear.”
She wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back. The puppies crowded around them. From the corner of her eye she saw Jack walking to the barn. She wished she had an excuse to call him over to join them. But then she wished a lot of things, and so far none of them had come true.
“Tell me about Dad,” Jack said a few nights later as he finished clearing the kitchen table. Katie had gone upstairs with Shane to help him with some difficult English homework, so Jack and Hattie were alone.
“What an interesting question,” his mother said. She put down her cup of coffee and looked at him. “You knew Russell. I don’t have any special information to give you.” She paused and motioned for him to take the chair next to her.
Jack settled into the seat. “Don’t you ever wonder?” he asked. “Is he still alive? Does he ever think about us? Didn’t you ever want to get a divorce?”
Hattie sighed. “I don’t know where he is, if that’s what you’re asking. I haven’t had any secret communication from him. As for wondering, I do from time to time.” She gave him a brief smile. “I’m not a complete fool. I spoke to a lawyer years ago. I can divorce Russell for desertion, if I want. I can even petition to have him declared dead. So far I don’t see the point.”
“But don’t you want to know?” Jack shifted in his chair. “Most of the time I don’t want to know anything, but sometimes I think I’ll go crazy if I can’t figure out what happened. I hired a couple of different detectives. One as soon as I turned eighteen and the other about three years ago. The trail goes cold in New Orleans. It’s as if he just disappeared.”
“Abducted by aliens?” Hattie teased.
He didn’t smile. “Doesn’t it hurt you, Mom? He left all of us. He j
ust up and walked away.”
She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Yes, it hurt me at the time. I loved your father. I knew there were problems in the marriage but I assumed every relationship had rough spots.” She looked at him. “Despite the pain, I’ve made peace with Russell. You have to, as well.”
“I don’t want to. He’s a bastard. It’s not enough that he left. He came back for one night, got you pregnant and walked out again. I hate him for that.”
Hattie busied herself with her coffee. She picked up the spoon and stirred in more sugar. “I guess you’re old enough to know the truth,” she said quietly. “Your father never came back for a night. Wyatt isn’t his son.”
Jack opened his mouth, then closed it. His mind froze. “But how did…Isn’t…”
Wyatt—his youngest brother. Hattie had always said that her husband returned for a single night and Wyatt was the result. “I don’t understand.”
She raised her eyebrows. “I find that difficult to believe. Russell had left me. I was alone and scared and one day I forgot I was a wife and a mother of six children. For one day I was just a woman. I never planned on getting pregnant, but once I had Wyatt, I couldn’t be sorry.”
Jack was still stunned. His mother? Another man? “Who?”
“I’m not going to tell you because that information is not relevant to this discussion. And Wyatt doesn’t know yet, so you have to keep this to yourself. I plan on telling him, but not until after he finishes college.”
He didn’t know what to think. He wasn’t angry that she’d been with someone else. Her husband had walked out on her without warning. She deserved some happiness, however she found it. He frowned, realizing he didn’t know anything about his mother’s personal life. For all he knew, she’d had dozens of lovers over the years. But she’d always been discreet.
Hattie leaned toward him and rested her hand on his arm. “You’re not your father,” she said intently. “I know you’re afraid because you think you could be just like him.”
“Was there any warning?” he asked. “Did he hint he was thinking about leaving?”
She hesitated. “I want to lie and tell you that I’d suspected it for a long time, but the truth is, I was as shocked as you kids were. He seemed fine and then one day he was gone.” She squeezed his arm. “But that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to you, Jack. We all have choices. Russell chose to walk away from all of this. He deliberately turned his back on his family. You can choose to do differently. You are an honorable man. So stop worrying about your father and concentrate on yourself. Do what makes you happy. If you ever get the urge to run, don’t.”
“You make it sound simple,” he said, wishing it were that easy.
“It can be. It’s your choice.”
But it didn’t feel like his choice. At times it had been all he could do to stay on the ranch. Especially in the first few years. The unknown had called to him, and he’d wanted to take off, leave all this behind. Over time he’d learned to make peace with his circumstances, but what if the past called to him again? How would he resist?
Besides, there was more at stake than just himself. If he allowed himself to think about a future with Katie and Shane, then there would be three lives at stake—not just his. Four if she was pregnant. God, he couldn’t think about that now. But what if she was? What if they were going to have a child together? He didn’t want to let them down and he wasn’t sure he could promise he wouldn’t.
“I need to know why he did it,” Jack said.
“You’ll never have that answer. You have to let it go. You have to make peace with your past and then shut the door.”
Jack didn’t believe her. He knew that if he could talk to Russell and find out why, then he could avoid whatever set of circumstances it was that had driven his father away. Without that information, the only safe route was to hold himself back. If he didn’t get involved, he couldn’t hurt anyone.
“Don’t lose your future because of something your father did,” Hattie said. “Have a little faith in yourself.”
“What if it’s not just about me?”
She smiled. “Have a little faith in them, too. Trust them to love you enough to keep you where you belong.”
“You loved Dad enough, and he still left.”
Her smile faded. “Okay. But you’re not Russell. Don’t let the past, either his or yours, keep you from letting someone in your life.”
Jack stood. They were arguing in circles. “I need to check on the horses,” he said and walked out of the kitchen. He’d been searching for answers, but there weren’t any. At least not any he could find.
As he stepped into the night, he glanced back at the house. Light shone from Shane’s bedroom window. Katie was in there with him. Jack pictured her bending over the desk, helping her son with his homework. The image made him ache inside. He wanted to be a part of it. He wanted to belong, have a family, make a life. Love and be loved. But he couldn’t trust himself not to destroy her the way he’d been destroyed. So he turned and walked into the darkness.
The following Saturday Jack and Katie went for a ride. It had rained the previous afternoon, but the morning had dawned warm and dry. Katie smiled as Socks made his way over flat terrain.
“I could do this forever,” she said, wishing the ride never had to end.
“I don’t think so. You’d miss Shane.” Jack drew his horse closer to hers. “Next time we should bring him with us.”
She laughed. “Perfect. Then we can ride away and not worry about ever coming back.”
Jack raised his eyebrows. “Is that what you really want? To escape?”
“Sometimes.” She looked at him and shrugged. “Not now, when I’m having a good time and everything is peaceful. But at other times, when it’s crazy and I don’t have the answers, I absolutely fantasize about running away. Doesn’t everyone?”
Jack looked surprised by her question. But instead of answering, he pointed to an oil pump moving up and down steadily. “Not the prettiest sight on a ranch, but I’m getting used to them.”
“Who wouldn’t? From the number of them I’ve seen around the ranch I’m going to guess that oil is bringing in a lot more money than cattle.”
“True, but I’ll always be a rancher.” He reined in his horse and looked at the horizon. “Still, the money’s been great. It’s paid for all the changes. Modernization doesn’t come cheap. In addition to fixing up the house and the ranch buildings, I’m improving the stock. There are two new bulls and nearly a dozen heifers upgrading the herd.”
Katie stopped beside him, studying him rather than the land. So much had changed, she thought. Fortunes, people, yet the ranches were constant. “Are you glad you stayed?” she asked.
He turned to face her. “I wasn’t at the time. When I was eighteen all I wanted was to leave. But I’ve made peace with the Darby ranch. This is where I belong.”
She turned to the west. The Fitzgerald ranch was too far away to see, but she knew it was there. “My father belongs here, too, but he’s never made peace with anything.” She sighed. “Suzanne called this morning to give me an update on Josie. I could hear Aaron in the background. He was yelling about Josie’s decision to stay in Los Angeles. He wanted to fly her to Dallas so that she would be close enough for everyone to visit.”
“If anyone can stand up to him from her sickbed, it’s your sister.”
Katie nodded. Josie had always been a fighter, especially where Aaron was concerned. She would go toe-to-toe with him and not flinch. “He’s being as stubborn as always. He refuses to see her side of things. L.A. is her home now, and it makes sense she wants to be there.” What she wouldn’t admit to Jack was her suspicion that one of the reasons Josie wanted to be on the west coast was to be away from her father.
“Aaron has his ways,” Jack agreed. “I don’t understand him, but then I don’t have to. We stay out of each other’s way, and that works for us.”
He urged his horse into a walk,
and her mount followed. She watched the play of sunlight on Socks’s smooth coat and thought about all the times she and Jack had snuck away to meet for an afternoon. How she’d been afraid of what her father would say if he found out and how Jack had always sworn to protect her. She’d believed him then and she still believed him.
“You’re a good man,” she said impulsively. “Nothing like my father, which isn’t saying all that much, but for which I’m grateful. In some ways, you’re the best man I’ve ever known.”
He shifted uncomfortably on the saddle. “Don’t say that. I’m not who you think.”
“Oh, really? Then tell me who you are.”
She half expected him to refuse to answer, but he surprised her by speaking.
“I’m a man who tries to do the right thing,” he said slowly. “I don’t always succeed. I worry about my family and the future. I try to plan for emergencies. I want—” He hesitated.
“What do you want?” she asked softly. “Tell me, please.”
He looked at her, then turned to face front. “I want to be my own man. Not my father’s son or just another in a long line of Darbys.”
“Aren’t you that now?”
“I don’t know. My mom says I should let the past go, but I have too many questions.”
“Do you think you’ll ever get them answered?”
“No.”
“So what are you going to do?” she asked.
“Hang on tight and hope for the best.”
She knew about the will of iron that kept him in control. She’d seen it in action. “If you hang on too tight, sometimes things get broken. If you don’t let go sometimes, the bad stuff can’t get out and the good stuff can’t get in.”
He shifted his horse so he was facing her. They stopped on the trail. His dark eyes studied her face. “What do you want from me, Katie? What do you from us?”
Blood rushed through her, making her feel lightheaded. “Is there an us?”
The Rancher Next Door Page 16
