by Anna Argent
He ignored her statement because she was right. "When are we opening presents?" Mason asked.
As soon as that was over, he could leave.
"Soon. We're still waiting for a couple of people to show." She was silent for so long that he thought he might actually get out of this conversation without an interrogation. And then she asked, "Have you been sleeping? Eating? You look like you've lost weight."
"I'm fine, Mom. No need to worry."
"But I'm so very good at it," she said with a slight smile.
Mason tried to make his mouth move, but he couldn't manage to smile back. Not even for the woman he loved more than any other.
Now that Diana was out of the picture.
"Have you spoken to her?" Mom asked.
"I'm not going to discuss this with you."
"She cheated on you. Stole from your business. You need closure."
"I need to be left to deal with my problems in my own way and my own time. I know you love me, but you need to stop helping. All you're doing is making it worse."
Mom sighed. "I know you need time, but I'm telling you right now that I'm not going to let this drop. I can't stand to see one of my babies in distress and not do something about it."
He was thirty-two—hardly a baby—but he remembered all those times she's cared for him when he was sick, or rocked him to sleep when he was afraid. Because of that, he was able to temper his tone so she wouldn't hear his anger. "There's nothing you can do. Just give me some time and space, okay?"
Mom patted his arm and nodded. "A little more, but not much. I won't leave you to suffer alone. It's not good for the soul or the body."
He would get over Diana, not because it was easy, but because he had no choice. He couldn't stand to live the rest of his life hurting like this.
But he wasn't there yet, and until he was, this would be the last family gathering he attended. It was too hard to be around so much joy when he was incapable of feeling any of it.
"I'm going to go, Mom. Give Dad my love, okay?"
She didn't argue, and he knew her well enough to realize what a huge effort it must have taken her to keep her mouth shut.
Mason kissed her cheek, wished his Grandad happy birthday, and left.
The one thing that kept his mind occupied enough that he didn't think about what Diana had done was work, so got in his truck and drove to the office. There was always work to be done, and if he couldn't be happy, at least he could be productive.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Hanna sat her ugly package containing the restored duck decoy next to all of the perfectly wrapped gifts and hoped no one would see her do it. She wasn't staying long enough to watch Alistair Grace open his gifts—just long enough to find Nate and tell him good-bye.
Her chest ached. Her limbs felt heavy. As excited as she was to be back on the road toward her new life, she knew how hard it was going to be for her to walk away from Nate.
He'd been so sweet to her. So kind and caring. He'd shard his hopes and dreams with her and given her a little glimpse into the kind of future she one day hoped to have for herself.
Her own Yellow Rose, restored from the ground up with loving attention to detail.
Surely there'd be some rundown old house in Oklahoma that she could make her own. Of course, to get there, she had to kick ass at her new job and save up some money. Maybe even get a second job on weekends to help fill the house fund faster.
In her mind, she could already see her completed project, perfectly restored and pristine. She couldn't wait to show it to Nate.
And then she realized…Nate wasn't going to be a part of her new life. His home was here, surrounded by his friends and family.
But he could come for a visit and see what she'd accomplished.
Yeah, right, her inner voice chimed in. He could bring the wife and kids, too.
Something in the center of her chest splintered at the thought of Nate moving on without her. Of her moving on without him.
Maybe she was making a mistake by leaving. There was no rule that said she had to go. She could find a job here—Nate had already offered her one she loved. And if she didn't want to depend on him, then she could find another job. She was a hard worker. She was never sick and always showed up on time. Lots of people would love to have someone like that working for them.
Her heart gave a little flutter of excitement, and the first person she thought to share it with was Nate.
She had to find him. Tell him what she was thinking and see how he reacted.
Would he be thrilled? Did he feel about her the way she felt about him? Or would he try to talk her out of it?
There was only one way to find out.
Hanna skirted around the gift table and slipped past a clump of people talking to Flora. She'd just stepped under the open kitchen window above her head when she heard her name float down from the other side of the screen. Two women were inside at the sink. Water was running and there was a clinking sound like metal hitting glass.
"Hanna? I thought you were talking about the Yellow Rose," said one woman.
"No," answered another. "I'm talking about that new girl—the short brunette one with the old POS truck Declan is fixing. She's Nate's latest charity case."
"That man is always trying to fix the hopeless. He should have lit the Yellow Rose on fire. Would keep all those kids from getting drunk or pregnant out there."
The second woman made a tsking sound. "Someone's going to have to teach that man what a lost cause looks like so he can avoid them."
"Yeah," said the first woman with a giggle. "She's short, chubby and drives a POS truck."
"Nate will learn. Once he gets tired of trying to fix what's beyond hope, he'll start to look around for a woman of quality."
"And that's when you'll be waiting, right?"
"Absolutely."
Both women laughed at the joke, but Hanna didn't join in.
She couldn't. She was barely able to make it to Rex before the tears started to fall.
Hanna was used to mean girls and the horrible things they said, but never before had she believed in her heart that they were right.
This time, she did.
She wasn't good enough for Nate. Not even close.
As she drove away from the party, she saw Flora in her rearview mirror, waving her arms and calling her name.
Hanna didn't stop or turn around. She didn't even slow down, because if she did, she might never again find the strength to leave Nate behind. And she loved him enough to admit that her leaving was the best gift she could give him.
Chapter Thirty
Hanna left without even saying good-bye. Nate still couldn't believe it.
When Flora had told him that Hanna had fled after overhearing Lulu telling her friend that Hanna was a charity case and a lost cause, his first instincts were to chase after her. He'd abandoned his grandfather's birthday party to go in search of her, but she was gone. The garage apartment was empty. All her things were missing.
He'd called her cell phone to find out where she was, but when he heard the phone ringing from the little kitchen, he saw the note she'd left him.
Thanks for the loaner phone, was all it said.
Not only could he not reach her, but she was on the road alone again with no way to call for help if she needed it.
Nate didn't know how long he stood there in the little apartment, but every second that ticked by, Hanna got farther and farther away.
He didn't even know where she was going. Oklahoma City didn't exactly narrow it down much, and with no address or phone number, the best he could hope for was that he'd be able to find some record of her once she set up her life there.
How long that would take, he wasn't sure, but he knew it was going to be too damn long. Even the idea of going one day without her was almost more than he could stand.
A car pulled up outside, and Nate's heart soared with the thought that she'd come back after all. She wasn't gone. He had another chance with the woman h
e loved.
He rushed outside, but instead of Hanna, he saw his sister's bright red Mustang.
All his excitement crashed into a pile of splinters.
Flora and Declan got out and hurried toward him like they feared he might fall over.
"Are you okay?" Flora asked.
"No. Not even close. Where is she?" he asked, giving Declan a hard glare.
Declan held up his hands. "I don't know. I brought her truck. She packed and gave me a ride to Grandad's party. I figured you could handle things from there. You told me to keep my nose out of things, so I did."
"She didn't even speak to me. She just left." Nate's tone was bleak.
"We'll find her," Flora said. "She can't have gone far in that old beater of a truck."
Declan's face flushed with embarrassment. "Rex may still be a beater on the outside, but his guts are all shiny and new—just like you said, Nate. She'll get as far as she wants to go as fast as she wants to go."
"I don't suppose you installed some kind of tracking device while you were at it," Nate said.
"Sorry. No spy stuff. Just the usual parts."
Nate turned to his sister. "How upset was she at what Lulu said?"
Flora's mouth flattened in irritation. "I saw tears. Maybe she just needs a little while to cool off before she comes back."
Nate remembered how empty the apartment was without a single touch of Hanna left inside. "I hope so."
He already missed her.
Declan clapped a hand on Nate's shoulder. "Let's go back to the party. If she's going to come looking for you, that's where she'll go."
Nate agreed. They all went back to watch Grandad open presents, but Hanna didn't show up to the party or anywhere else.
After two weeks with no hint of Hanna—not even a phone call—Nate knew in his heart that she was gone for good.
Chapter Thirty-one
Hanna worked her ass off.
She took two more jobs on top of her day job. In the evenings, she delivered pizza and cleaned offices, and on the weekends, she hired on doing restoration work with a local antique mall.
Every second she was awake, her mind was on Nate. She hardly slept, but when she did, she dreamed about Nate.
She'd never known it was possible to miss someone as much as she missed him. She kept thinking that her feelings would soften, that she'd quit hurting a little more each day, but that acute ache in her chest never faded.
How was she going to go the rest of her life feeling like this?
Three times she'd called him, but when he'd answered, she'd been speechless.
What does a woman say to the man she loves but isn't good enough for?
The third time, he'd said, "Hanna, if this is you, don't hang up. Just listen."
She'd clutched her work phone so hard her hand shook. It was after hours in one of the offices she cleaned. This line was set up as private, with no caller ID available. No one was around. She was alone with Nate's sexy voice filling her ear and making her heart ache with want.
"I don't know how to find you. That's the only reason I'm not with you right now," he said. "Those things you heard Lulu say…they were utter bullshit. You've never been a charity case to me, and you couldn't be a lost cause even if you tried. You're the woman I…" He trailed off. She heard him swallow, then he started again. His voice was so filled with yearning, it broke Hanna's heart to keep listening. "I want to see you again. I need to see you. Please say something. Tell me where you are. I'll drop everything and come right now."
Tears streamed down her cheeks. Her nose ran, but she didn't dare sniff and give away her presence on the other end of the line.
She wanted to say something. She wanted to at least talk to him again. She loved him so much she didn't know how to contain so much raw emotion.
But she couldn't. Nothing had changed yet. She was working hard, but she had yet to reach the goals she'd set for herself.
Nate sighed, but the sound was more exhausted than frustrated. "It's okay, honey. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. Just keep calling, okay? At least that way I know you're safe."
That was so like Nate to worry about her safety even though she wasn't giving him what he wanted.
Just like that first night she'd met him in the rain, and refused to ride into town with him. He'd stood in the rain while she sat safely in his fancy truck, leaking water all over the leather seats.
He'd done so much for her—given her so much—and all she'd done was take.
That was all going to change. She just needed a little more time.
"Come back, Hanna," he whispered. "Please. Just come back to me."
***
The rest of the summer passed in a blur of heat, sweat and loneliness. Nate kept busy to ward away thoughts of Hanna, but it rarely helped.
The Yellow Rose was nearly done, thanks to all his long hours working on her. There was no question in his mind that he was going to finish before his deadline so the mysterious artist from California who wanted to buy this place could move in.
He only wished that he could enjoy his victory.
Progress on acquiring the Ophelia Grand Hotel was moving slowly. He didn't yet have enough of a down payment to get the loan, but he was hoping that the Yellow Rose would sell soon and he'd be able to sign the contract for the hotel before the opportunity slipped away.
He still went back to visit the place every couple of weeks, but rather than being filled with that deep sense of excitement he'd always had before, he felt…empty. Listless.
What was the point of restoring the old hotel if there was no one in his life to share it with? His family didn't understand his passion for the place. His friends thought he was nuts to take on a job that big rather than spending more time fishing or hunting. Only Hanna had seen his vision, and she was gone.
Nate still had trouble with that. If not for her calls—and he knew they were from her—he would have gone to Oklahoma City to search for her. But the fact that she always called him from a number with no caller ID told him that she didn't want to be found.
He only wished he knew whether she'd run off without a word because of what Lulu had said about her being a charity case, or because Hanna simply didn't care enough about him to say good-bye.
Something in his gut told him it was the former, because if she really didn't care, then why keep calling?
Nate finished hanging the light fixture in the living room of the Yellow Rose, then climbed down from his ladder. He flicked the switch on the wall to test the light. Brightness engulfed the room and made the intricately carved mantle glow.
The paint was all stripped away now, leaving behind the rich wood tones to shine through. Several of the roses and leaves had been damaged, but Hanna had repaired them, and Nate could no longer figure out where the damage had been.
He ran his fingertip along the smooth carvings and imagined her doing the same—touching this very spot as he did now.
Soon this place would be sold and he'd lose one more connection to her for good. He would no longer be able to walk in and see where she worked or see the beauty her skill had left behind.
He almost decided then and there not to sell, but knew that was a sappy, foolish thing to do. He had a deal with the artist chick, and he wasn't about to go back on his word.
Graces never did.
So he'd suck it up and learn to live without all the little reminders of Hanna and the way she'd touched his life.
Nate felt a presence behind him a second before he heard Hanna's voice.
"I couldn't come to town and not at least see how she turned out."
He whirled around, certain that her voice was just his imagination playing tricks on him. In the weeks she'd been gone, he'd played countless conversations with her in his head, working through his feelings of loss and grief.
But this wasn't his imagination. She was here, in the flesh, standing in the doorway looking so beautiful he almost felt the need to shield his eyes.
Her long hair was loose and flowing around her shoulders in glossy waves. She wore a pair of jeans that hugged her body, revealing every single curve and hollow. Her eyes were dark with fatigue, but her skin still had that pretty pink glow that drove him wild.
"Hanna?" He took a step toward her, but stopped in his tracks in fear that he'd scare her away. "You're back?"
"I came to pay Declan. He kept returning my checks unopened, so I decided to bring cash and force him to take it." She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "I thought I'd stop by to see how the project turned out. She's beautiful."
She'd come to pay a debt. Not to see him, but to see Declan.
Nate tried not to let that hurt, but the stab of pain it caused him was uncontrollable and deep. "How long are you staying?"
"Just one night. I have to work again Monday morning."
His next question should have been about her job or her life in Oklahoma. He should have asked how she was doing, and if she wanted a tour of the house she'd done so much to restore.
But he didn't give a shit about any of those things. There was only one thing he had to know. "Why did you leave like that, without even a single word of good-bye?"
She winced, but recovered quickly, as if she'd expected his question. "I never intended to leave that way. I'd planned to see you first. But then…."
"Then you heard Lulu running her mouth about things she knew nothing about, saying how you were a charity case or some bullshit."
"It wasn't bullshit. She was right. I was a charity case—someone you helped because you're a nice guy and that's what nice guys do. They help people in need."
"Then why run?"
Hanna closed her eyes as if she couldn't look at him while she said the words. "If I'd said good-bye, you'd have made plans to keep in touch with me. You'd have insisted I take the phone you bought me or asked for the address of where I was going to work."
"So?"
"So, you deserve better."
"Better than what? Better than being discarded like I meant nothing to you? Better than being left to worry over whether or not you made it to Oklahoma safely? Better than being made to feel used and meaningless?"
