“She’ll come around,” Wayne repeated. “You two are good together. You’re happy with her and she’s happy with you. Don’t give up.”
He’d never been a big believer in hope. It generally let him down. He was more of a doer. But in this case, he wasn’t sure what he should be doing. His heart said for him to go to her. His head said to give her time.
“There is irony in the fact that I finally fell in love, and the woman in question wants nothing to do with me. Maybe it’s karma.”
“You don’t believe in karma.”
“No, but it makes for a good story.”
“Are we still staying in Los Lobos?”
An interesting question Quinn had asked himself. For a couple of days, he’d wrestled with going back to LA. But what would that prove? “We’re staying.”
“Even though you’ll have to deal with her?”
“Especially because I’ll have to deal with her. Better for both of us to face what happened.”
“Good. The only way to get over something like that is to go through it. You’re not running. That’s the first step.”
“Thanks.”
Quinn figured if anyone knew about getting over an incredible loss, it was Wayne. He would take the other man’s advice and get through it. Eventually. Because, to be honest, he couldn’t imagine ever not loving Courtney. She’d fundamentally changed him and he had a bad feeling there was no going back.
* * *
Rachel told herself that this particular Monday wasn’t any hotter than the other summer Mondays. That the only reason she felt uncomfortable was her back was killing her. She had an appointment with the chiropractor in the morning—something she’d foolishly been putting off. Now she was paying the price.
Of course, Heather wasn’t there—as per usual. Rachel started to drag out the equipment she was responsible for, along with the water and the snacks, then stopped herself. Ask for help, she thought. It was time to start doing that.
She hobbled over to the coach. “Could you and the boys help me with the things in my car? My back’s acting up.”
“Sure, Rachel.” He looked around. “Where’s Heather?”
“I have no idea.”
He blew a whistle and waved in the team. In less than a minute, her SUV was empty and the supplies were in place. Thank goodness. Every step was a nightmare. The instant she got home, she was taking a muscle relaxer. She didn’t like how they made her feel, but she didn’t have much choice.
She took her seat on the uncomfortable benches and groaned. This was going to be a long, long game.
About five minutes before they were due to start, Rachel saw Heather walking toward her. Rage propelled her to her feet. All right—she’d learned how to ask for help. Now she was going to give the other woman a piece of her mind. How dare she leave Rachel with everything for the entire season?
“Hi.” Heather, a brown-haired woman of average build, waved at Rachel. “You’re probably surprised to see me.”
“I am.”
“I’m sorry about not being around this summer. I should have called.” Tears filled Heather’s eyes. “I just...”
Rachel felt her anger fade. She pulled the other woman to the bench and they both sat down. “What’s wrong?”
“My mom had a stroke. It was pretty bad. That was hard enough, but then my dad took off. Just like that. They’ve been married nearly forty years and he left her. He said he didn’t want to be married to a cripple.”
Tears spilled down Heather’s cheeks. “She’s paralyzed on one side. She can’t talk. I don’t know how much she understands, but I feel like she keeps waiting for him to show up at the rehab facility. But I haven’t heard from him in a month. Paul’s been great, but he has to work and the kids are scared. I cry all the time.”
“It’s okay,” Rachel told her, thinking this would have been good information to have weeks ago. Which she would have had if she’d bothered to ask. Instead, she’d fumed and assumed. Talk about dumb.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch with you sooner,” Heather continued. “I should have.”
“No. It’s okay. You have plenty on your plate. I’ve been dealing. I’ll ask one of the other moms to help on a permanent basis.” She paused. “I won’t say why unless you want me to.”
“You can say my mom had a stroke,” Heather told her as she wiped her face. “But maybe if you wouldn’t say anything about my dad?”
“Whatever you want.” Rachel hugged her. “Let me know how I can help. Oh, I know. Why don’t I stop by the rehab facility? I can wash and cut your mother’s hair. Maybe it would make her feel a little better about herself.”
Heather began to cry again. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
They sat together for the first three innings, then Heather excused herself to go check on her mother. Rachel promised to stop by the first part of next week. By then the wedding would be over and her back should be better.
Josh’s team won by two. There was plenty of cheering about that. Lena asked if Josh could go to the movies with her and her son. Rachel accepted gratefully. A quiet evening was exactly what she needed.
She made her way to the restroom, then walked back to the field and found that everyone was gone. There was still equipment on the field and water bottles on the table. A cookie wrapper tumbled past in the light breeze. As she bent to pick it up, she felt the telltale jolt of fire in her hip and knew it was going to be bad.
Sure enough, as she straightened, her entire back locked. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, as muscles tightened like a vise. Even taking a single step was excruciating. She cried out and reached for something to hang on to, but there was nothing. The benches were too far away. The pain was a wild animal. It claimed her with sharp teeth and claws, leaving her whimpering.
She thought longingly of Greg. Even when things had been at their worst in their marriage, he’d always been there when her back went out. He’d taken care of her, once even carrying her to bed when she couldn’t walk. Too bad she’d lost that in the divorce.
She pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed Courtney. The call went right to voice mail. It was the same for Sienna. With her mom, there were a half dozen rings before the voice mail picked up. A quick glance at the time told her that Lena and the boys would already be in the movie theater and that Lena would have turned off her phone.
She didn’t know what to do. Finally, she dialed the fire station and asked for Greg.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I’m sorry to bother you at work,” she began. She could barely speak. She was terrified she was going to start spasming any second. “I tried everyone else first. It’s just...” She felt herself sinking into despair.
“Rachel, what is it? Are you hurt?”
“Josh had a game. Everyone’s gone. I have things to take home and my back went out. I can’t move. I’m sorry. I need help.”
“Hang tight. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Rachel put her phone into her pocket and started for the bleachers. She’d made it about halfway there when she saw an unfamiliar truck pull up next to her SUV. Greg jumped out, spoke to the driver for a second, then sprinted toward her.
Relief nearly made her collapse. She wanted to burst into tears and throw herself at him. Instead, she did her best to hold it together.
“Thanks for coming,” she said.
“Happy to help.” He studied her. “What’s the best way to get you to the car?”
“Let me lean on you.”
He got close and let her find the most comfortable position. She also set the pace. Once she was in the passenger seat of her SUV, he jogged back to the field and collected everything before returning to climb into the driver’s seat.
“Do you have your pills?” he asked.
/>
“Yes. And an appointment with the chiropractor. I’ve been putting it off. I should know better.”
She thought he might tease that, yes, she should, but instead he was all business. He drove to her place and got her inside. When she was stretched out on the bed, he got her the pills and a glass of water.
“Thanks.”
He hovered without sitting on the mattress. She swallowed the medication before handing him the glass.
“I have to get back to the station,” he told her. “I’ve called Courtney. She’ll be here in a little bit to check on you.”
Rachel looked at the man she’d once been married to. He was saying and doing all the right things, but she had the feeling that something was wrong.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I’m fine.”
“You seem... I don’t know. Something.”
He looked at her for a long time. “Nothing’s changed. It’s exactly as it was. Let me go see if Courtney’s here.”
With that he walked out of the bedroom. What on earth? But before she could try to figure out what that cryptic exchange had meant, her back spasmed and it was all she could do to keep breathing. When the muscles released, she looked at the clock and promised herself that the medication would kick in soon and then she would be fine.
* * *
“I hated those dresses,” Maggie said, pointing to the pictures in the album. “My mother loved them.”
Two days after Rachel’s back went out and three days before the wedding, Courtney sat on her mother’s sofa, looking at an old photo album. Her parents looked impossibly young and in love. The bridesmaid dresses—a hideous green with big bows in the front—were unfortunate.
“Was it the style back then?” she asked.
“No. They would have been ugly in any decade.” She closed the album and smiled at her daughter. “Have I thanked you for all you’re doing for me with the wedding?”
“You have.”
“I want to say it again. Thank you. I’m excited about everything. You’ve made my day special.”
“Don’t say that,” Courtney warned her. “No talking about how great it’s going to be. I don’t want to tempt fate. So far all our crises have been small and I want to keep it that way.”
“Have you talked to Rachel?”
“She’s feeling much better. The chiropractor did his magical thing, she’s taking her pills and she’s on the mend. She swears she’ll be fine by Saturday.”
Courtney had been through her checklist about fifteen times in the past two days. Flowers would be arriving in the morning. The food was ordered, the servers scheduled. The weather was supposed to be perfect. The tents would be put up the day after tomorrow, everyone had their dresses or tuxes and Gracie had sent pictures of the cake as it was being constructed.
“I’m hopeful,” she said, crossing her fingers as she spoke, “that everything will go smoothly.”
“I know it will.” Her mother squeezed her hand. “I’m so glad you’re the one making this happen. I’m so proud of you and your new job.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“So much responsibility.” Her expression fell a little. “And to think I could have lost you.”
“Mom, stop. You didn’t lose me.”
“But I could have. You were so angry at me for so long.”
Courtney really didn’t want to talk about their past. “I was young and confused about a lot of things.”
“You rejected me.” Her mother sighed. “Perhaps a case could be made that I rejected you first.”
That got Courtney’s attention. “Why would you say that?”
“You were right—I didn’t know what was going on in your life. By the time you were eight or nine, I was finally successful. I was terrified of losing it all again. What happened after your father’s death changed me. I knew I never wanted to be dependent on anyone else again. I wanted to make my own way, no matter what.”
She looked at her daughter. “I forgot about what was important. My girls should have been my priority. Somewhere along the way, that message became something else.”
“I’m right here,” Courtney promised.
“Thank you for that. I hope you know I’m here for you, too.”
“I do.”
“Then why haven’t you told me about your breakup with Quinn?”
Courtney had no idea which of her sisters had tattled, but she shouldn’t be surprised. “It’s not that big a deal.”
“Isn’t it? You cared about him very much.”
Not something she wanted to talk about. Courtney missed Quinn more than she would have thought possible. She hadn’t realized how much he’d become a part of her life. He was the first person she thought of when she woke up and the last one before she went to sleep. She spent her days avoiding him and hoping to run into him at the same time. So far she’d seen him only from a distance.
“I almost didn’t go out with Neil,” her mother said. “But I said yes because... Actually, I’m not sure why I said yes. It was one of those things. By the end of the first date, I knew he was special. And then I got scared.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t want to fall in love again. I didn’t want to get my heart broken. Losing your father was hard enough, but having him not have taken care of us was equally devastating. I never wanted to be that scared again, and I knew that if I let Neil in, I was at risk.”
“Neil will always take care of you.”
“I know that now, but I didn’t at the time. I had to believe.” The smile returned. “You know what’s funny? I didn’t have to believe in him. I had to believe in myself. I had to know I would be strong enough to survive whatever happened. Because loving someone means giving your whole heart, and once you do that, you have no defenses. You’re at their mercy.” Her mother took her hand again. “I think that’s what you’re worried about. Being at Quinn’s mercy.”
“He wouldn’t hurt me.”
“What if he left you? What if he died? What if you loved him more? What if he changed his mind?”
All questions Courtney had been asking herself.
“Love hurts,” she whispered.
Her mother hugged her. “I was afraid that was the lesson you’d learned. It’s the wrong one, darling. Love doesn’t hurt. Not when it’s right.”
“You loved Daddy and you were hurt.”
“I was. But that was because I lost him. It wasn’t the loving that was painful, it was the losing.”
“But if you hadn’t loved him, then you wouldn’t have lost him.”
“Perhaps, but then I wouldn’t have had him, either. And that was worth everything.” Her mother stroked her hair. “It’s the cliché about the fact that we need rain to get a rainbow.”
“I don’t want to risk losing Quinn, so it’s safer not to love him.”
“There’s a small flaw in your plan,” her mother murmured. “You’re already in love with him.”
Courtney started to protest. She didn’t love Quinn. She’d been very clear about that. She liked him. A lot. She wanted to be with him. The list of his good qualities was endless. But that wasn’t love.
“I don’t love him,” she said firmly. “I refuse.”
Maggie patted her hand. “Yes, dear. I’m sure that’s going to work brilliantly.”
30
BY THURSDAY, RACHEL had returned to the land of the living. Her back was better. She could move with relative ease—however, she couldn’t shake the feeling of something being wrong. The problem was she didn’t know what the something was.
Sienna showed up a little before noon for a trim before the wedding. The short, spiky style was easy to maintain—requiring only regular cuts and a free hand with product.
/> “I can’t believe the wedding’s in a couple of days,” Sienna said as Rachel began to cut her hair. “It seemed so far away when Mom and Neil announced their engagement.”
“I know. The summer’s going by so fast. Josh starts school in less than a month.”
“Is he going to be spending more time with his dad now?”
“What do you mean?”
Sienna winced. “Crap. I might have said something I wasn’t supposed to. Do real estate agents have to keep secrets?”
“I don’t know.” Rachel lowered her arms to her sides. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Her sister looked guilty. “Jimmy happened to mention that Greg had asked him to start looking for a house. I guess he’s tired of living with his folks. So I thought that meant Greg would spend more time with Josh. Don’t say anything, okay?”
“Sure.”
Rachel’s response was automatic. She changed the subject to the fund-raising effort Sienna was involved with and managed to fill the rest of the appointment with casual conversation. But on the inside, she was seething.
How could he? She thought they were working toward something. She didn’t know exactly what she and Greg had going on, but it wasn’t supposed to end with him buying a house. She’d always thought—hoped, really—that one of the reasons he’d stayed with his folks was that he was thinking they might get back together. She’d started wondering about that, too.
But apparently, she’d been the only one showing up. Just like when they were married. She was doing all the work and he was just along for the ride. He was... He was...
She sucked in a breath as she realized she had no idea what he was doing, because she hadn’t talked to him about it. She hadn’t asked what Greg wanted and she sure hadn’t offered any thoughts of her own. She’d gone along, she’d hoped, she’d assumed, but she’d never asked. Or been clear about her feelings. She’d never once admitted she was still in love with him and wanted them to get back together.
She finished with her sister and checked her schedule. She had nearly an hour break. If Greg had been working Monday, he would be off today. She texted him and asked him to meet her at her place in five minutes.
Daughters of the Bride Page 35
