by S. M. Soto
I jerk back. “Settled for less? What the hell are you talking about?”
“First with Dean and now with me.”
I swallow, my heart twinging. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying he never deserved your love. This is what you do. You settle for less. He never deserved any fucking part of you.”
I grit my back teeth so hard, I swear I hear a crack. “Oh, what, and you did? Are you forgetting you did the very same thing my late husband did, Callan? You betrayed me, too. You fucked her.”
I can feel the slip on my emotions. I’m losing it. Tears slowly begin to roll down my cheeks, but I make no move to stop them. Everything has led up to this moment. To this fight between us. This is almost thirteen years in the making.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he grits, eyes alight with fury. It has burned through the ice man, setting him ablaze.
“I don’t? I think you’re forgetting I was there, Callan. You’re just as bad. You broke my heart before Dean ever had a chance to.”
With anger boiling my blood, I whirl on my heels. Anything to get away from this infuriating man. I can’t stay here with him. I don’t care that Faith and I have the lower level to ourselves. I don’t care that I have to see him every day. Right now, I just need to get away from him. I’ll need to pack our stuff as soon as possible. We’ll need to—
“I never fucked her.”
His words stop me in my tracks. Something strange happens in my chest. For a second, I almost forget to breathe. Slowly, I turn, my brows drawn in. “What are you talking about? Of course, you did.”
“I lied.”
He’s lying.
He has to be.
I saw with my own eyes.
Doubt slowly begins to creep in. Memories of that night come in flashes. Bursting through the door, finding him high on the bed, then Skylar stumbling out of the bathroom. I may not have caught them in the act, but I know what I saw. It was guilt. He looked guilty that night.
I search his eyes, and I see the answer there. I see it, and it shatters my entire world.
My stomach churns uneasily, and suddenly, I feel like I’m going to be sick. Bile rises to my throat, threatening to expel at my feet.
“No,” I whisper, shaking my head. “I know what I saw. You’re not going to lie to my face.”
His nostrils flare, and he grinds his teeth. “Skylar was at the party drunk, making a fool of herself. I tried to help her, and in the process, she threw up all over me. I carried her up to the room so she could sleep it off. I took off my shirt and sat on the bed when you walked in. You saw what you wanted to see. You didn’t care what I had to say. You jumped to your own conclusions, and I let you because if you ever knew me, you’d know I’d never take things that far. Not with her. Especially not to hurt you.”
I slap a hand over my mouth, trying to hold back the sob desperately trying to escape. “Why would you do that? I wasted so many years angry with you for…for something you never did.”
He keeps going, sticking the knife into my heart over and over. “I let you think what you wanted because I was leaving for college, anyway. I thought you’d be better off. I didn’t know you’d be a fucking idiot and run straight to Dean’s arms. The two of them were fucking in high school. Why do you think I tried to warn you off him so many goddamn times?”
My heart shatters. The pain threatens to steal my vision.
The blows just keep coming.
“This whole time…this whole time you let me believe you fucked her, just to push me away?”
His lips thin. He doesn’t voice his response, but he doesn’t have to. I see it written all over his face, plain as day.
I choke on a breath. “How could I be so stupid? When you said you pushed me into his arms, I always thought you meant with your anger and how you treated me.” I shake my head, a hot torrent of tears slipping down my cheeks. “You realize I lost my virginity to him that night? I was so heartbroken over you, I ran to him to forget you. And now you’re telling me I did that for nothing? You’re telling me everything, all of this, was for nothing?”
He looks pained. Like somehow knowing he was the catalyst in all this is his last thread. “And this whole time, you knew they were together, and you didn’t think to tell me? If everyone knew, why didn’t anyone fucking tell me?”
My chest rattles with a sob.
“It wasn’t my place to say anything.”
“Not your place? Being a decent human being isn’t your place?”
Callan sighs and tries to reach out for me, but I dodge him, smacking his hand out of the way. “Don’t touch me. I don’t…I don’t want you to touch me again.”
“Jesus Christ, Daisy.” He rakes a hand through his hair, eyes wild, almost panicked. “Let’s talk about this.”
“Now you want to talk? You were ready to push me away no more than five minutes ago!”
“That was different. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve—”
“Just stop it!” I yell. “Tell me why. Tell me why you didn’t say anything. Tell me why you pretended to be with her. Just tell me why.”
He grinds his teeth together. “I don’t know.”
“Bullshit. Tell me the truth for once.”
His nostrils flare. “Because I wanted to hurt you,” he admits.
I already knew the answer. Deep down, I think I’ve always known, but hearing him finally admit it hurts much more than I thought it would.
“You’re a coward, Callan. A goddamn coward.”
Brushing past him, I leave the penthouse and him behind. I hear him calling after me, chasing me down. He can chase all he wants, but I’m done.
This is the last time I’ll let Callan Reed break my heart.
“You can’t hide out from Callan forever, Daisy.”
With Faith resting against my chest, fast asleep, I ignore my best friend and her logic. Even if she may be correct.
Sure, I won’t be able to avoid him forever, but for now, not seeing Callan Reed is as good as it gets.
“I know.”
I look out of the window, staring down at the crappy street below me. The noises in this shitty complex have somehow intensified, and looking around now, I don’t know what I was thinking by staying in a place like this with Faith for as long as I did. And now, sadly, I’ve found myself back here.
As soon as possible, I’ll need to look for something newer, safer, all within my price range.
It’s been two whole weeks since the explosive fight with Callan. Neither of us has said a damn word to the other. I’m not expecting him to reach out. It isn’t his style. Callan Reed isn’t a man who chases, nor is he a man who apologizes for his mistakes.
But apparently, I’m wrong.
It’s been relatively easy to ignore all his calls and messages. It definitely helps that I only just got a new replacement phone yesterday, so any chance of him reaching out and me falling for any of his excuses wouldn’t have been possible, anyway.
When I transferred everything to my new phone, I had to fight the urge to open all his messages. Instead, I ignored them all, choosing to pretend he didn’t exist. I wasn’t sure how much longer I would last. I wasn’t strong enough for this. Strong enough for this heartbreak. I needed to cut all ties. That meant removing Callan’s existence from my life altogether.
Rosalind takes a seat next to me on the bed. “Talk to me.”
My heart stitches with pain at her soft words.
I can’t talk about this.
I can’t even get the words past my lips. Because they fucking hurt. They hurt so bad.
How could one of the smartest businessmen be so goddamn idiotic? How could he do this to me? Keep something like this from me? It’s a betrayal that runs deep. I have enough knives in my back to last me a lifetime.
I’m tired. Tired of running in this same circle of pain when it comes to Callan. Tired of letting myself fall, and he not being there to catch me.
&n
bsp; I’m tired of his seasons. The frigid cold. The unbearable heat. The downpour before the storms.
I inhale a deep breath, causing ice to drizzle down my chest. “There’s nothing to talk about. What’s done is done.”
“What about work?” She quirks a knowing brow.
I shrug, feigning nonchalance when all I feel inside is fear. “I can always find something new. It’s been two weeks. If he hasn’t dragged me back yet kicking and screaming, it means I’ve been replaced. This is a good thing.”
“And that’s what you want? To find something new?”
I swallow past the ball of emotion in my throat. “Yes. That’s what I want.”
She doesn’t believe me, not even for a second, but she doesn’t call me out on it. For that, I’m all too thankful.
“He’s miserable, you know.” She searches my gaze, seeing if this news has any effect on me. Whatever she sees is enough to make her keep going. “He’s been all broody and quiet during family dinners. Mom and Dad have missed you both, too. Especially Mom. She’s so angry with him.”
My chest squeezes. “Once this blows over, I can put my feelings aside, but right now, I can’t. I just need space. And time.”
“Fair enough. Just tell me what you need from me.”
I smile, sniffing back the pressure building in my nose. “I just need you to be my best friend. That’s all I need.”
Rose grins, her bright eyes filling with moisture. “Good, because I need my maid of honor to get to work on planning.”
I laugh. It takes me a few seconds to process her words, and when I do, my eyes widen.
“You’re kidding. You guys have finally set a date?”
Her grin is blinding. I’ve never seen my best friend look happier. “We did. We don’t want to wait anymore. I think it’s safe to say Damon will always be the man I love. Having some big perfect wedding isn’t going to change that. We went through hell and back at that firm just to be together. All the back and forth, the hatred, the sabotage just to get to the top, there’s a reason for everything, and I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to marry him now.”
My brows pull down. “Listen, I’m all for your happiness and all that, but there’s no way I’m letting you elope. You deserve the big walk down the aisle.”
Rosalind laughs. “I knew you’d say that. We don’t want to elope, but we also decided that a huge wedding wasn’t what we wanted either. I just want to celebrate my big day with the people who matter to me most. And that’s you guys.”
“Okay.” I pause. “What does that mean? Something small, here?”
A slow smile spreads across her face. It happens when she’s about to drop something big. “No. We were actually thinking of a destination wedding. Just with our families and close friends.”
Slowly, the smile tapers off my face. I’d never be able to afford a destination wedding. Least of all with a baby. Especially not without a year’s saving in advance.
“That’s…wow. That’s great. Where are you guys thinking?”
“Greece.”
I smile, despite my inner turmoil that I won’t be able to attend my own best friend’s wedding. “Why am I not surprised?”
She shrugs. “Because you know me.”
“What about the honeymoon?”
“We’re thinking the wedding will be at this cute little villa we found in Santorini. We’ll stay there for a few days, then move on to another location in Greece. Work our way around during the honeymoon.”
Not a bad idea.
“It’s going to be beautiful.”
As if sensing my tone, her smile falls a little. “Don’t do that. Don’t already make up your mind that you won’t go. You’re my best friend, Daisy. I won’t accept it.”
“You know I want to be there for you on your big day, but there’s no way I can afford it. You know I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
My lips thin. “Rose.”
“My parents have already offered to pay. If you turn them down, you’ll break their hearts. Do you want that?”
I shoot her a glare. “You did this on purpose.”
She grins victoriously. “That I did, and I promise, you’ll be able to pay them back after cashing this.”
Rose slides something out of her back pocket. When she hands it over, I realize it’s a check. A crease forms between my brows, and I take it from her, flipping it over. I gasp, and my eyes grow wide when I see the numbers. I’ve never had so many zeroes attached to my name.
“Holy fucking shit,” I whisper. “Where the hell did you get this?”
She grins, her eyes growing misty. “It’s yours, Daisy. This is your money from your art. Every single piece sold. You’re now a million dollars richer than you were a day ago.”
My chest rattles with a sob.
“I can’t take this,” I choke, automatically thinking about Callan.
“It’s yours. He said if you don’t take it, it will go to waste. Do you really want it to go back into those rich bastards’ pockets?”
My laugh is wet, and a tear slips down my cheek as I shake my head. No, I most certainly do not want that.
“Say you’ll take it. Say you’ll be my maid of honor in Greece, and little Faithy will be my flower girl.”
My chin quivers. I set my free hand on top of hers and squeeze. “I love you so fucking much. You know that, right?”
She laughs, but it comes out as more of a sob. “You better.” She wipes her face, inhaling a deep breath. “Now, put little Faith down to get some proper rest, and let me show you what I have so far.”
As I’m laying Faith down, I turn to my best friend, who is watching me with pride in her eyes. It’s all the encouragement I need. “Thank you for always standing by me, Rose. You don’t know how much it means to me.”
Her face twists with emotion. “Stop making me cry, dammit!”
We both laugh, and when I lie back on the bed with her, flipping through wedding magazines, I feel that pain in my chest ease the slightest bit. It’s not much, but I’ll take it.
Baby steps, Daisy.
Baby steps.
Two Months Later
“You sure you’re okay with this? I can find you a different partner. It will be weird, sure, and a lot of moving around, but I’ll do it. For you.”
I smile, though it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. It’s just like my best friend to offer to solve my problems, even if it means making her big day a lot more stressful than I’m sure it already is. I rest my hands on Rose’s shoulders and give her my best reassuring grin.
“I’ll be fine, I swear. This is your big day. Stop worrying about Callan and me. This is all about you. Screw everyone here for the next few days. You know what, screw that, the next month.”
She laughs under her breath, then sighs. “I just want this rehearsal dinner to go well.”
“It will. I won’t accept anything less.”
Rose seems pensive for only a second as she searches my gaze. “He’s bringing a date.”
I try not to let it show how much her words hurt me. I told myself over and over that I wouldn’t let Callan Reed hurt me anymore. He’s had a lifetime to do that. I refuse to give him that power anymore. But just like all good best friends, they don’t need words. There is no hiding. She sees everything I’m feeling.
“He’s a stupid asshole.”
I smile through my sadness. “I’m okay, I promise.”
“I bet she’s ugly.”
I laugh, though it comes out choked, and I feel moisture pool in my eyes. I appreciate the gesture, but I somehow doubt Callan’s date is anything but pretty. She’s probably beautiful and perfect, just like he is.
How cruel fate can be. Bringing two people together like this, only to keep them apart year after year. I thought this time would be different for us. I hoped, but it turns out, it’s not. There is no us. We’re just a mess of contradictions—a mess of love.
Our love is a lot like the seasons—it comes an
d goes. Hell, I fell in love with his seasons. Like dead leaves fall from the branch of the tree in the autumn. Like rain falls from the swollen clouds in the winter. It was inevitable.
“I’m going to check on your mom and Faith really quick. Meet you out there?”
She nods. Just as I’m turning, she clasps onto my arm, urging me to face her. “One day, you’re going to find someone who is going to love you fiercely.”
My bottom lip trembles. I trap it between my teeth to keep from crying. “I love you.”
I hurry away from Rosalind and swipe under my eyes, not wanting her to see how much her words hurt me.
The truth is, there’s only one man who made me feel that way. I went years pretending I didn’t feel it. Pretending I didn’t care, but I was wrong.
Callan Reed will always be my person.
Too bad I’m not his.
The past month has been a mess of dates and color swatches and trying to make sure everything is perfect for my best friend’s day. Even through all that, I’ve been unable to stop myself from thinking about Callan. With each month that passes, breathing gets a little easier, but it doesn’t make the pain hurt any less.
A week after our explosive fight in his penthouse, Damon helped me move everything back into my old place, and I contacted HR about finding my replacement. Losing the benefits and the money would hurt, but pretending I was okay while seeing him day in and day out would certainly hurt more. My only saving grace was the money I got from my art pieces. I hated taking that money because the whole reason any of that was even possible was because of Callan.
This is for the best, I tell myself.
You don’t need him.
When I resigned, the calls and the emails started up. I didn’t have the guts to open a single one. I couldn’t. How could I face him?
Part of me wanted to hear what he had to say, but then I would remember what he did. I remembered all the time spent apart because of his decision to purposely hurt me.
So, I made Rose block his number and email from me. I was officially severing that tie. I knew as my best friend’s brother, he’d somehow always be in my life, but I’d learn to live with it. Because I loved her.
