by S. M. Soto
Faith and my mom glance up when they hear me approach, smiles breaking out across both of their faces. Faith reaches out for me, and I take her, relishing in the feel of her in my arms again.
“Hey, pretty girl,” I whisper, squeezing her lightly. Faith laughs, and the sound curls inside my chest, warming my heart. She makes herself comfortable in my hold, her chubby little hands patting at my face, just like she used to do.
“Dada.”
Just like it did the day before, her little voice rips through my heart, tearing the organ to shreds. I pull back slightly to look down at her.
“Got any new words you learned while I was away?”
Faith pauses. “No.”
I share a look with my mom, and both of us laugh. Even through my laughter, I can’t deny how much it hurts. The fact that I missed it. Her first words. I fucking missed it.
“That’s not all she learned to do. Go ahead and set her down.”
Following my mom’s instructions, I do just that, and sure enough, Faith is standing on her own, clapping her hands, bouncing up and down. She walks back toward me and the fucking organ in my chest about just explodes. Watching someone guide her down the aisle with help is one thing, but seeing her do it on her own is something else entirely. It brings the biggest fucking smile to my face.
I crouch down beside her, running the pad of my thumb along her chunky little cheek. “I’ve missed you.”
Of course, she chooses this exact moment to respond with one of her new words.
“No.”
I hear laughter behind me, and I whirl around, spotting Daisy standing there, staring at us, a fondness shining in her eyes.
“I’m going to check on Rose,” my mother offers half-heartedly, doing her damnedest to make herself scarce to give us a moment.
A thick stretch of silence passes between us.
“I see she’s mastered walking.”
Daisy’s lips quirk. “Standing, yes, but walking? Not so much. We still have some work to do. She’s even got a few new words under her belt, too.”
A soft grin spreads across my face. “So I’ve heard.”
Another awkward silence.
She looks like she’s going to say something. She even goes as far as opening her mouth, but for whatever reason, she snaps it shut, glancing away. I follow her gaze and deflate when I realize she’s glaring at my assistant.
Shit.
“She’s not—”
“I should probably feed Faith before I start my rounds again.”
Without a goodbye, Daisy lifts Faith into her arms and all but runs away from me. I watch her and Faith disappear back into the crowd of our close family and friends. The whole time, ice fills my chest, and I grind my teeth together, working past the overwhelming sensation of loss.
After the wedding, we say our goodbyes to the couple, and I watch on with tears in my eyes as they walk off together. I remember doing this years ago at my own wedding. It’s sad to think that even then, I felt like something was missing. As I hug Faith to my chest, I realize what it was.
It was her. She’s always been the missing link in my life. I didn’t need someone else to love me because I have her love. I’ll always have her.
“You okay?” Caroline asks. I turn, plastering a smile on my face.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Feeling a little nostalgic, but I’m okay. We’re okay.”
“Nicholas and I plan on doing some sightseeing tomorrow. You should come with us.”
“I don’t know. I might sleep in.”
She smiles knowingly. By sleeping, what I really mean is I’ll stay locked inside, feeling angry with the world.
“We can take Faith for a walk with us? Why don’t you go out and explore a little on your own? Get some fresh air.”
It takes me a beat to come to a decision, but I agree. “Yeah. Okay.”
“Rose mentioned that Cal and his date are leaving today, so it’s not like you’ll have to worry about seeing them around. Maybe some time alone exploring will do you some good.”
I smile, though it’s not as bright as it used to be. “Thanks, Caroline.”
Waking early the next morning, I spend hours walking around, shopping in the beautiful town. I follow Nicholas and Caroline to the beach with Faith before breaking off and doing some of my own sightseeing. I walk through the market, stand on the cliffs, and find myself here, deep in the neighboring area. I travel the winding road up, past villas, and stop here about halfway through.
It’s how I find this place with bright white walls, beautiful pink flowers blooming from vines wrapped around pillars, and a turquoise roof. I was drawn to this building.
When I get to the top, I find this stunning view.
It’s incredible. Absolutely breathtaking.
Standing on the balcony for who knows how long, I stare out at the ocean, taking in the beauty of Greece. I’m surrounded by silence. This sense of solitude feels weird. Usually, I have Faith crying or babbling, or I’m answering Callan’s emails, but now that I’m no longer working there, I have none of that. Just silence.
It’s goddamn lonely.
I heave a deep sigh, my gaze riveted on the bright aquamarine blue of the water. It glistens under the blinding rays of the sun. It’s always been a dream of mine to go to Greece, but in that dream, I was sharing everything about this romantic place with someone else.
I should be happy.
I’ve moved on and so has he.
So then why does it hurt so much? That gaping hole in my chest. That searing ache that seems to grow stronger with each day.
I glance around at all the cute white buildings with bright flowers and bright doors. Everything here looks just like it does in the countless pictures I’ve saved over the years. It’s beautiful.
Paradise.
It feels anything but.
Even though I know I shouldn’t, I dig my phone out of my purse and scroll through my photos, pausing on one in particular. I should’ve deleted it months ago, but every time I look at it, I can’t. An inexplicable tightness grips my chest as I stare at the photograph of Faith and Callan. It’s a rare photo of both of them smiling for the camera. I stare at this picture of them often. Especially when I miss Callan.
“You haven’t answered any of my emails.”
My eyes slam shut at the voice. I inhale a deep, stabling breath, trying to figure out if I’m imagining this or if it’s real.
I thought he was gone?
He was supposed to be leaving today with his date. Why is he still here? Talking to me, no less?
When I hear footsteps behind me grow closer and smell his distinct scent, pressure burns the backs of my eyes because I know it’s real. This isn’t some dream. This isn’t me imagining things.
How can it not be?
Slowly, I turn to face him and find him leaning up against the white pillar watching me. His gaze rakes up and down my body, settling on my exposed, sun-kissed shoulders. The heat of his stare sweeps across my face, lingering on my eyes, then my lips, almost as if he doesn’t want to look away from either. He’s dressed in cargo shorts, loafers, and a button-up shirt. The top buttons are undone, exposing his tan chest, and the sleeves are rolled up, revealing his forearms. He looks beautiful. Devastatingly handsome.
“I thought you were leaving.”
He shrugs, never once taking his eyes off me. “I changed my mind.”
“Seems like you do that a lot.”
He shakes his head, laughing to himself. “I don’t. But if that’s what you want to believe.”
My lips purse. “It is what I want to believe. How did you even find me?”
“Might have been following you.”
“That’s not at all creepy,” I reply sarcastically.
A crooked grin spreads across his face and the effects of it hit me square in the chest. It takes my breath away. I’ve missed that smile. I’ve missed him.
He sobers, the smile slowly dissipating as quickly as it appeared. “Wh
y are you ignoring me?”
“Why do you think, Callan?” I snap.
His mouth quirks like he finds this funny. He’s so goddamn infuriating.
“Did you read any of my emails? The voicemails?”
I tilt my head up haughtily. “No, I didn’t. I blocked your address. And your phone number.”
He quirks a brow, clearly impressed. “Very thorough.”
A tense silence passes between us. We take this time to soak each other in with no judging eyes on us. Just two people who were intimate at one time getting their fill before going their separate ways again.
This time, forever.
“If you had read them, you’d know how I feel about you.”
I ignore the spark his words evoke. “I already know how you feel about me. I think bringing a date with you here made that clear.”
“She wasn’t my date.”
I laugh. The sound is ugly and filled with pain. I’m showing him too much of my hand, but I don’t even care. “What was she then, Callan? Please, enlighten me.”
“She’s my new assistant. Had to make some changes since my old one left me high and dry.”
I roll my eyes at his dramatics. He’s lucky all I did was quit after what happened. “I didn’t leave you high and dry, and you seem to have moved on and found a replacement just fine.”
“Sure,” he says, stepping closer. “But she’s not you.”
“Why would you want her to be me?” I ask, my heart pounding.
He tsks. “You really should’ve read my emails. Then you’d know.”
I grit my teeth together. “I already told you I don’t need to read them to know how you feel.”
“So you know how incredibly and hopelessly in love I am with you? How much I think about you? How angry I am that I let you slip through my fingers. Again.”
My breath hitches, and I shake my head.
“Stop it,” I whisper.
“No.” He pushes off the pillar, crowding me. My eyes hone in on the thick book he’s holding in his hand. The pages are frayed, some even beginning to yellow.
He must sense my gaze on it because he lifts it up and hands it to me. “Here. Look through it.”
My brows pull in as I reach out, taking it. I unwrap the leather tie, opening to the first page, and I gasp. Moisture floods my gaze as I flip through the book. Each page is dated. Some dates even going as far back as prom night. Every single drawing on every page is me. In various poses, in various stages of my life, but they’re all me.
Callan drew me for thirteen years, even after we’d cut all ties.
With my heart banging in my chest, I glance up at him, a fat tear teetering on the edge of my lashes. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything at all. Just listen. I’m done running from this. Done pushing you away. Done being a coward. I’m in love with you, Daisy Elise Casillas. I have been since the first moment I laid eyes on you. Every goddamn fight, every fucking bruise, every first touch, I fell deeper in love with you every day. There hasn’t been a single day since then when I haven’t loved you or wanted you. I lied to you back then. I lied to myself. You were always mine, Daisy, and I’ve always been yours.”
I feel wetness rolling down my neck, and I realize I’m crying. Silent tears are trekking down my face, and I didn’t even realize when it happened. He takes a step closer, and I swipe under my eyes, trying to stop the tears.
“I drew you so often because in my dreams, stuck in my head, is when I felt closest to you. When we were on opposite coasts, that was the only way I felt like you were there with me.”
My voice trembles. “What about Faith?”
“I love her. That little girl has become my world. Without her, without you, what’s the point of all this? Do you know how hard it’s been going every single day without seeing either of you? Without hearing your voice or listening to her baby babbles? It’s hell.”
A sob threatens to rip from my chest. “You said you could never love a child that wasn’t yours.”
His eyes soften. “I was wrong. The second I watched you with her, I fell in love with both of you all over again. Both of you are mine.”
We’ve somehow bridged the small space between us. “I…I may not be able to give you anything else, Callan. Faith, she’s it. She’s all I can offer.”
His hand slides around the back of my neck, and he drags me closer until we’re chest to chest. Until I’m breathing the same crisp air as him. Until I can taste his breath on my tongue.
“I’m fine with that. I just want you, Daisy. I’ve waited for years to have you in my arms. Years to call you mine. I’m not letting go. We can discuss options in the future, but right now? We don’t need to worry about that. I’m not worried about that. I just…fuck, I just want you.”
He catches a stray tear rolling down my cheek. “I don’t know what to say. Our last fight was…explosive.”
Pain ripples across his handsome features as he cups my cheek, his thumb gently caressing the skin there. “I know, and I’m sorry. For everything. Just say you’ll take me back. Say you’ll marry me.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
And just like that, Callan Reed drops to his knee before me and seems to pull a box from thin air. My hands fly to my mouth, stifling the ragged gasp. My heart pounds against my rib cage.
“I said marry me.”
“How did you…? When did you…?” I stutter, so many emotions slamming into me all at once. The most prominent being love. So much love for this man standing before me. It percolates in the air, arcing between us.
“I’ve had it. Bought it when we came back from Hearst Castle.”
My lungs squeeze like they’re in a vise, and glitter bursts in my chest. “That was over six months ago,” I whisper, voice awed.
“And nothing has changed. I still want you.”
I look down at the ring. A huge oval rock surrounded by a band of glittering diamonds.. It’s beautiful. Not too flashy, but just in Callan fashion, flashy enough. It’s perfect. It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.
“Yes.”
A wide grin spreads across his face. “Yes?”
A mix between a sob and a laugh escapes my chest. “Yes!”
I throw myself into Callan’s arms, and he catches me effortlessly. His arms feel like home. The home I’ve missed for thirteen years. It feels like every star has aligned just to create this moment for us, just to bring us together. It feels like we’re drowning in them, in the stars.
And then he kisses me, and I’m putty in this man’s arms.
Hand in hand, we walk down to the blinding azure water. The salty breeze whips my hair around my face and I turn, staring up at Callan. I’m not even surprised that he’s already watching me. He’s staring down at me so intently with so much heat in his eyes, the warmth settles in my cheeks.
“So, what happens now? Where do we go from here?”
He watches me with so much love in his eyes. Tenderly brushing a strand of hair off my face, he cups my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin.
“You marry me.”
Then he kisses me.
It feels like our first kiss but definitely not our last.
It’s the start of forever.
Callan Reed is the love of my life, and though our love isn’t perfect, it’s ours.
Three Years Later
“Daddy!”
A smile ripples over my face when I hear the excited squeal. I’ve been away on a work trip for the past five days, and it’s been harder than hell being away from Faith, Easton, and my wife.
Dropping to my knees, I widen my arms, and my daughter throws herself at me. I crush her to my chest, basking in her warmth. Her sweet little floral scent infiltrates my senses, and my lungs tighten. I’ve missed this. I haven’t even been gone long, but, Christ, have I missed this.
“Daddy, you’ll never believe what my baby brother did when you were gone.”
Glancing around he
r, I spot my wife, splayed out on the lounger, bouncing our son in her arms. He’s still a tiny little thing. A fighter through and through.
Just like his mother.
“What is it he did, babe?”
“Mommy handed him off to Uncle Damon, and he did the biggest poop ever, and guess what?”
I try to hold in my laughter. I can just imagine where this story is going. “What?”
“East pooped all over Uncle Damon, then Uncle threw up on Aunty Rose.”
Now that pulls a laugh out of me. I can just picture the disgust written all over my sister’s face. Hell, I wish someone would’ve caught that on video. It sounds hilarious.
Lifting Faith into my arms, I head toward my wife. Her gaze eats me up and down. I know that look. I know it all too well.
“You look good enough to eat, Mrs. Reed.”
She grins up at me seductively, those dark eyes telling me all the things she doesn’t want to voice aloud. “Behave yourself. There are children around.”
I press a kiss to her lips, parting them, soaking in her taste.
Fuck, I’ve missed her.
“All right. That’s enough, you two.”
We both pull away from each other at the sound of her father’s voice.
Since he’s come back into his daughter’s life, I’ve noticed a change in her. There’s a spark in her eyes I was never able to put there. That’s because it was always meant for her father.
Her first love.
He just needed to get it together long enough to make her happy. He’s cleaned up since my last visit. About a month after I proposed to Daisy, he came to the penthouse looking for her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so apprehensive or excited about anything.
It wasn’t an easy road for them, especially for Daisy. She had a habit of hanging on to the past and the time she’d lost with her father, but he assured her things were different now, and he wanted to be a part of her life. Though he still lives in California, we make it a point to visit as often as possible and vice versa.
One of the most important things for Daisy was making sure her father would be there to watch her children grow up. He hasn’t missed a single birthday or special occasion since.
