by Nicola Jane
Tag pulls out of me, tapping my ass so that I turn onto my front. He climbs over me, his legs either side of my thighs, and then he pushes his erection back into me. It feels tighter this way, fuller. Tag takes a handful of my hair, tugging gently so that my head is turned to the side, looking at him. “Keep your eyes on me Ten,” he growls. There’s something sexy about staring into the eyes of such a mysterious, dangerous man while he fucks you hard. My fingers grip the sheets beneath me, bunching them into my fists as Tag slams into me. His eyes darken and his pupils dilate and then he growls. It’s feral and completely hot and as he shudders his release into me, I cry out as another orgasm roles through my body. This time it’s slow and never ending. Role upon role ripples through me and when it finally begins to ebb away, I collapse face down onto the bed.
“That was hot,” he pants, slapping my ass as he pulls from me. He climbs from the bed and goes into the bathroom. Hear the shower turn on. I have no energy to follow him, I doubt my legs are up to supporting me just yet and so I wrap the sheets around me and stay laying on the bed.
Tag
I laid awake for an hour before Lucy woke earlier this morning. I watched her sleeping and tried to think of different ways in which I could keep her in my life. I came up with none. My only option would be to keep doing this, turning up unannounced, fuck and leave. She deserves more than that. But a relationship couldn’t work. She’d never understand the lifestyle. She’d ask endless questions that I wouldn’t be able to answer, not without implicating her into things. The things I’ve done, the things I’ll be expected to do, will fuck me up, just like yesterday did, and eventually I’ll become like my father, cold and distant. I’ll make stupid mistakes and eventually break Lucy’s heart. I’m saving her by walking away.
I step out of her shower and dry off quickly. I didn’t use a condom but I haven’t mentioned it to her, the chances are that one time won’t hurt and I guess a part of me hopes that if I’ve put a baby in her belly, then she’s mine, I’ll have no choice. I go into the bedroom and begin to dress. Lucy is asleep again, laying on her stomach, wrapped in her bed sheets with her face towards the window. I commit her picture to memory; she looks innocent and beautiful like this.
I push my feet into my shoes and grab my jacket from the chair in the corner of her bedroom. With one last look, I step out of the room. I have to walk away now, I can’t do this again.
Outside, I check my cell. I have two missed calls from Anton, another from Ella and one from Ace. I call Ace first, I owe him. “Brother,” he says, “Did Conner buy it?” he asks. It’s not common knowledge yet about Conner but I decide that Ace should know and so I tell him that Conner is no longer with us and that Anton is now in charge. I don’t go into details, that shit is strictly family business.
“Shit man, sorry to hear that. Look, gather yourself and then come and see me. With Conner gone, there might be room to re-discuss our alliance to each other.” I’m surprised by this news; the MC have never wanted to move with the Mafia. I agree to speak with Anton and then call in to see him at the club.
Next I call Anton. “Man, where the hell are you. Dan didn’t even know where to find you.”
“Sorry,” I sigh, “Things got crazy last night didn’t they, I just needed to shut off for a few hours.”
“Understandable. Come over, we need to talk.”
When I get to Anton’s family home, he’s in the office. It’s odd seeing him behind the desk instead of Conner. “Suits you,” I say with a smirk.
“Fuck man, what the fuck was that last night?” he groans.
I sit down opposite him. “Fucked up shit,” I sigh, “Is Ella okay?”
“I think so. She cried, a lot, she spent time talking to my mom who is heartbroken. How did none of us see it Tag?”
I shake my head; I’d been asking myself the same question. “I just thought they were close,” I say.
“Me too. Knowing what he did…” Anton shudders, “At least the fucker can’t do it again.”
“So now we’re both bosses,” I say, “I feel like we should celebrate, we always wondered what it would be like to be here.” As kids we’d always talked about how we’d run the organization.
“Now we’re here, it feels a little premature, like I’m not ready for it.”
“Anton, you’ll do great, you were born for this role.”
There’s a knock on the door and Ella enters. She has no make-up on and her eyes are red and puffy from the tears she’s shed. I stand and she throws herself into my arms. “Thank you, for believing me.”
“I can’t believe you’d ever think that I wouldn’t El,” I sigh.
Anton heads for the door, “You two catch up, I’ll go and see how moms doing.”
He closes the door behind him and Ella steps back from me, “I was convinced no one would ever believe me against him. He told me everyone would turn against me.”
“He was wrong, I knew you’d never lie to me, not about that.”
“Is there still a chance,” she mumbles, twisting her fingers together like she’s nervous.
“For us?” I ask. I don’t want to break her heart any more than its already broken but I have to be honest for us both. I shake my head. “Ella, I love you, I really do, but I don’t think I’m in love with you. I thought I was, but as times gone on, I’ve realized that I don’t feel that way about you.”
Ella nods her head, her eyes full of sadness, “I get it, I wouldn’t want me either, used goods and all,” she shrugs and then adds a smile to lighten the tone.
“Baby, it’s got nothing to do with any of that. I have feelings for someone else. It wasn’t intentional, it just happened. And although I can never be with her, it would be unfair for me to be with you.”
“You fell for the party planner?” she mutters and I nod. It feels good to admit it.
“You’re a fool if you’re telling yourself you can’t be with her because of who you are. My mother wasn’t born into this and she stuck by my father. Your mother was the same.”
“And I saw first-hand what it’s done to both of them. I won’t turn her into something she’s not.”
Ella kisses me on the cheek, “You’re a good man Tag, if she makes you happy then you should go for it.”
I take Anton with me to see Ace, it makes sense now that he’s in charge. We are welcomed into the clubhouse by Scar, there’s something about this guy that I like. He leads us to Ace’s office. The door is open wide and Ace is leaning back in his chair with his heavy boots resting on his desk. “Come in boys,” he grins, “Take a seat.”
I relax back, I feel good vibes and for the first time since Anton put that bullet in Conner, I feel hope.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Six months later…
Lucy
The banging on my door startles me, checking the time I see that it’s almost eleven in the morning. I was so tired that I slept right through from the second my head hit the pillow at midnight. I pulled off a huge wedding yesterday for one of my mother’s friends. Even though she’s my mother’s age, she married a man half that. It was a great day and everything ran smooth for a change, I even managed to make my mother smile a few times. She almost admitted that I’d done a great job.
I pull my hair up into a tie as I make my way to the front door. Pulling it open, I find Hulk standing before me with his usual annoyed expression. “Stranger,” he grits out, stepping through the doorway and accidentally pushing me out of the way of the way with his huge body.
“Please, come in,” I huff sarcastically.
“What you’ve done to Ace is shit,” he snaps, turning on me the minute I enter the kitchen.
“What did I do?”
“Showing up and making Ace think you were back and then going silent on him.”
I fold my arms across my chest defensively. “I haven’t gone silent on him,” I argue, but even as the words fall from my lips I know I’m lying. I saw Ace a few more times after everything that happened
between me and Tag but now that the club is doing business with the Mafia, I decided to take a step away. I still send the odd text, asking how Ace is doing and his replies are usually short, he’s not a fan of technology.
“I have been super busy,” I say, “And so has he.”
“Cooking that,” he snaps, pointing to my swollen stomach. I rub a hand over my pregnancy bump. “Why have you kept it from us?”
“Because its none of your business is why,” I snap. “You don’t even like me, why the hell do you care if I see Ace or not?”
“Who said I didn’t like you?” he growls, “I never said that.”
“It’s in the way you glare at me and the way you always growl in my direction.”
“I growl in everyone’s direction, I’m a biker, it’s what we do!” He takes a deep breath, I think it’s to calm himself but he still looks pissed.
“I’ll call him,” I mutter, holding up a mug to see if he wants a coffee. He nods a yes and I set about making it.
“Three sugars,” he grumbles. I smile as I add three sugars to each of our cups, at least we have something in common. “I do like you Lucy,” he says and I get the impression that these words are hard for him, he doesn’t seem the sentimental type. “I have trust issues, long story but don’t take it personal. I hate seeing Ace like this, he was happy when you showed up and now you’re gone again, he’s pissed off with the world and a real ass to be around.”
“It shouldn’t all be on me,” I argue, “He knows where I live, he can come and see me.”
“He’s scared your mom might turn up,” he says with a smirk.
“My mom doesn’t know about him, I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want to upset her. She had enough of a shock with this,” I say, prodding my stomach.
“Why don’t you bring the father along to meet Ace, we can ask Bernie to cook us a civilized meal.” Now it’s my turn to smirk, the Rebellions having a civilized meal doesn’t sound right.
“Actually, I’m single. A one-night stand, Tinder has a lot to answer for.” Hulk raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Don’t judge me, I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of one-night stands!” Hulk laughs and then shrugs his huge shoulders innocently.
“Look, come over, it’ll make his day. Besides, this baby will need some family around if you’re single and I know Piper and the girls would love to see you.”
I don’t mention that I’ve kept in touch with all three girls. “Fine,” I sigh, “Let me change.”
Half an hour later I am walking back into the Rebellions club house. The place is empty but it is Sunday so I guess the guys are with their families. “Sit here, I can’t wait to see his face,” smiles Hulk, leading me to the empty bar. I lift myself onto a stool and he rushes off to find Ace. I tap my fingers impatiently on the bar top. I hear a low moan and glance around the empty room to locate the cause of the noise. It happens again and I get down from the stool. I move behind the bar, it seems to be where the noise is coming from and from the low moans I’m expecting to find someone injured or sick.
I push the cellar door. It’s cold and damp inside, I hope that Happy hasn’t had an accident, the beer barrels are so heavy. “Happy,” I call out and the groaning stops. Instead I hear a muffled giggle. I begin to realize that the noise is more likely to be from pleasure rather than pain, and as I round the stacked up barrels I find the source.
Tag has a female bent over a barrel, he’s holding one of her legs up and his covering her mouth with his free hand. She’s still giggling into his hand and she doesn’t seem too bothered that he’s stopped mid-thrust with his eyes fixed on me. We’re locked in a stare, me horrified and him shocked.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” I mutter and then I turn and run, my face burning from embarrassment.
I knew Tag was probably fucking his way around London, it’s not like he was so heart-broken for me that he’d never have sex again, but to find him like that was painful and not something I ever want to see again.
I crash straight into Ace who steady's me with his big hands and then smiles wide, “Baby girl, you came back,” he grins, wrapping me in a bear hug. He takes a step back, holding me at arm’s length and looking me up and down, his eyes fix to my bump, “What the fuck happened?”
I glance behind me, my mind still on Tag, “Erm, one-night stand, complicated,” I mumble.
“One nightstand?” repeats Ace.
Hulk grins. “It’s a Tinder baby,” he laughs.
“Oh dear lord,” groans Ace. He looks past me and I know that Tag is there. “Have you heard this shit man, my only daughter is pregnant because of a right swipe.”
I feel his presence approach me from behind, “Yeah?” he asks.
“Yeah, shit baby girl, is that why you haven’t been to see me?”
“I’ve been busy,” I mutter, “I’m sorry.”
“Let’s not worry about that now, come and sit, we need a catch up.” Ace ushers me towards a couch and I lower into it. Hulk and Tag sit at the bar, talking in low voices. Ace lifts my feet and places them on a small coffee table.
“He ain’t stupid baby girl, and neither am I!” he says, his face is serious.
“Sorry?” I ask innocently.
“He asked me two months ago if you were pregnant, right then I knew that if you were, then he was the baby daddy.”
“If you’re talking about Tag, then you’re way off the mark,” I laugh, shaking my head.
“You’ve been avoiding me because you knew he’d be around here. You didn’t want him to see you. It surprises me that after what your mother did to me, you being that child that was denied a father, that you’d do the same to Tag.”
“That’s not fair,” I hiss, tears springing to my eyes. “He left me; he was the one that said we wouldn’t work.”
“But you’ve denied him a chance to be something better,” says Ace calmly, “And you’ve denied this kid of having a good father.”
“Good,” I repeat and raise a brow skeptically.
“Well he was clearly good enough for you at one point because you ended up sleeping with him,” snaps Ace, “But yeah, I stand by that because he is good. He might have to live a different lifestyle but deep down, he would look after this kid and protect it with everything he has. Your mother judged me the same way and I can stand before you now and tell you hand on heart that I am a good father. I raised Hulk good!”
“I know,” I mumble. “But he doesn’t want me, it was his choice.”
“So because he doesn’t want you he can’t see the kid you made together?” I fiddle with my bag, uncomfortable with this conversation. I didn’t mean it like that, I just decided that if Tag wasn’t ready to settle down with me then he wouldn’t want to be a part of this baby. “You’d better come up with a better excuse cause he’s coming over,” adds Ace standing.
I grab at his hand, “No don’t leave me,” I hiss desperately. He shakes me off, scowling.
“You think he’s gonna hurt my girl in my own club, you’re safe,” he reassures me. He stares at Tag, “Be nice,” he warns and then leaves me alone with Tag.
Tag
My heart hammers in my chest. I take a seat on the opposite couch because just being this close to Lucy is driving me crazy. For six months I’ve pictured her, every morning, every night and all the hours in-between. “Ten plus one,” I eventually say, and she shrugs, avoiding looking at me. “Got anything you want to tell me Ten?” I want to give her the chance to tell me straight, if she lies, I don’t know how I’ll react because we both know the truth. When Ace mentioned that she hadn’t been to see him, I wondered if she was hiding something and I checked up, watched her through her office window. She didn’t look pregnant then but she does now.
“I told you I was gonna join Tinder,” she offers feebly.
I slam my hand on the coffee table by her feet and she jumps in fright, “Don’t fucking lie to me Ten,” I growl. Ace steps towards us but Hulk stops him. “Please, not after everythi
ng,” I add in a calmer tone.
“I was going to take the morning after pill. It sounds so stupid now but it was on my to-do list. It just slipped my mind, we got busy in the shop that week and I was hurt over you leaving. I was preoccupied.” She speaks so quickly that I have trouble processing her words. “I didn’t really think much of it, I reasoned that it was just one time and the chances were so slim,” she buries her face in her hands. “I sound like a child,” she mumbles.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask. I’m not mad that she didn’t take the pill, after all, I’m as much to blame but, I’m pissed she didn’t tell me.
“I didn’t know until about six weeks ago. I was getting my period up until then but I was putting on weight and so I went for a check-up. The doctor did the test and…well, here we are.”
“Lucy you should have told me, I would have been there for you.”
“Out of pity,” she huffs, “No thanks.”
“Out of love, not pity. I stepped away because I thought it was the right thing to do, you getting pregnant changes that.”
Lucy stands, snatching up her bag. “No, it changes nothing Tag. You’re still who you are and I’m still who I am. You didn’t ask me what I wanted, you made the choice to walk away and now you have to live with that, the same way I do.”
“You’re telling me that I can’t see my own kid?” I snap, also standing.
“I’m saying, I am off the table. You can have contact with the baby if that’s what you want.”
“Of course that’s what I want, “I sigh.
“I’ll let you know when it’s born,” she snaps, heading for the door.
“What? Lucy wait! We have things to discuss, plans to make.”
Callie walks towards me, her lips painted red and her hair fluffed to perfection. She snuggles into my side and smiles up at me. Talk about bad fucking timing. Lucy looks at me, likes she’s waiting for me to explain but I have no words and so she sighs and carries on her mission to leave.
