He never said a word after that. He smiled, giving me a little wink before turning his attention back to the film. I was left completely shocked and mesmerised by this one and only boy I would ever love.
The rest of that day and into the next, I never took that Hula Hoop off my finger.
*****
The next few days went by in a haze. I worked my ass off, visited Jeremy after work, and planned a little surprise I had up my sleeve. I had been working hard to get it off the ground and make sure everything was ready. I contacted the hospital and squared it with them and, out of courtesy, I contacted Social Services. I knew once Sunday came, though, I wouldn’t need to seek their permission. I just needed to make sure Jeremy was strong enough to leave the hospital.
In the past few days, my stranger didn’t visit. I was sad and angry, and I was also mad at myself for feeling sexually frustrated. I was mad that, on a couple occasions, I woke up screaming his name, my fingers playing with my wet pussy. I was unashamedly wanton for him. I craved him like my next meal. I wanted to devour him and, most of all, I wanted him to devour me. I wanted him to take me. I wanted him to fuck me until I was raw, until I was used up and spat out. I wanted anything from him he could give. He was becoming an addiction and I hated myself because of it. I hated that made me weak with need. I hated that the longing for him was becoming my obsession. And I hated him for making me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. Call it stupid, but I was quickly falling in love with this man without a face. He was all I ever wanted, all I ever thought about, and it was, quite frankly, killing me.
Louisa invited me to a Halloween party in Soho this Saturday. I’m going to go, of course, because it beats sitting around, hoping and praying he would come for me. If only there was something I could do to exact some sort of revenge for leaving me in the lurch, for making me wait, for making me hope, for making me want him here with me.
*****
On Saturday, I was getting myself ready for lunch with my mother. I hadn’t seen her for a while and was looking forward to it. My mother was something familiar and soothing right now. I needed her distraction and I needed her motherly comfort. No matter how old you get, a son or daughter will always need his or her mother.
Grabbing my keys, I left the apartment to check on my car. For some reason, I felt a pang of sorrow when I saw that it was where I left it yesterday. I was so used to coming down and seeing it parked the other way. In a sense, it kind of felt as though my stranger was abandoning me, or punishing me for something. I wished I knew what it was. I didn’t know what I would do about it, but it’s the not knowing that was driving me crazy.
Walking the twenty minutes or so, I approached the Italian bistro on High Street. I had always loved Italian food. Dean probably had a lot to do with that. His family, of Italian descent, introduced me to all sorts of Italian dishes. He told me his parents named him after the famous singer/actor, Dean Martin. It was a traditional thing to do, considering his uncle was named after a famous actor. I think it was Humphrey Bogart, but I wasn’t too sure. I had never met Dean’s uncle.
“Darling,” my mother chimed, rising out of her seat to give me a kiss. My mother, as always, looked pristine. She always kept her blonde hair immaculately tied up in a bun, her long eyelashes were always accentuated with the perfect amount of mascara. Never a hair out of place, never an imperfection to show us that she was normal. She only ever dressed in the finest designer clothes, only ever mixed with the highest of society. And who could blame her? She had worked really hard to get to where she was now. She earned fantastic money and commanded only the finest of clients…because she could. Everyone wanted her to be their lawyer. She was once nicknamed the “Rottweiler” simply because she was a vicious beast once she got in the courtroom. Her reputation was such that every other defence lawyer secretly hoped and prayed they weren’t up against her in court. She simply never loses, and I thought that was what made people cower away from her.
“Hi, Mum. How are you?” I asked, sitting down in the seat opposite her.
“I’m happy now I get to see my other favourite daughter.” She smiled. It was a lovely smile. No matter her reputation, she always had the most tender smile for me.
“So, how is life, Tyler? Met a man yet?”
Yes, I have met a man. I haven’t a clue of his real name. I don’t know what he looks like or who he really is, but he fucks like no other man out there and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about him.
“No. No man for me as yet,” I replied with a smile.
My mother frowned a little. “What about Ian? I thought you two had this little pact going. You’ll be turning thirty soon.”
I shook my head. “Please don’t remind me.” I had another ten months to go yet, but it was the one birthday I was dreading.
“Ian’s a nice boy.”
I laughed. “He’s not a boy anymore,” I replied, thinking about the very un-boyish things he liked to do, especially once he’s had a few to drink. He was like an unstoppable force, grabbing my ass or copping a feel of my breasts.
“I always thought you two would get together, especially after Dean disappeared.”
The pain hit me as fresh as it was on the last day I ever saw Dean. On instinct, I grabbed a hold of my angel wings and stroked them, hating myself for wanting something back I never truly had.
“Why did you hate Dean so much?” I had to know. My mother and father were always pushing me towards Ian. The more they pushed, the more I rebelled. It was Dean. It was always Dean.
My mum crossed her legs. “I never hated Dean. I just thought he was a bad influence on you. Ian was always the one who had your best interests at heart. He cares for you and always has.”
I shook my head, and was about to retort when a waitress came over with two glasses and a bottle of Prosecco. “I took the liberty of ordering the Prosecco. I hope you don’t mind.” I shook my head, but I was itching to get back to our conversation.
“What would you like to order?” the waitress asked, looking from me to my mother.
“I’ll have the Spaghetti di Mare,” my mum replied.
“Molto bene,” the waitress replied with a giggle, then turned to me.
“Can I please have the Carbonara?”
Writing it all down, the waitress nodded her head. “Si, perfecto.” She took the menus from us and walked towards the kitchen.
“Don’t you think that dish is a little fattening, Tyler?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve hardly eaten a thing these last few days. I think my body could cope with a little bit of something naughty for a change.” My mum was always one to make sure no one was even remotely overweight in our house. When my sister and I were growing up, she was constantly watching what we were eating, scolding us if we wanted to eat a piece of chocolate or order a cake after a meal in a restaurant. My mother cared, but that was because she was so high maintenance.
“Why have you hardly eaten?” She frowned with concern, picking up her glass for a sip.
I did the same. “I’ve just been swamped with work and stuff. It’s no big deal.” I placed my glass back down and waited for her normal response.
“I worry about you working yourself too hard. I thought you were doing this column for yourself. Wouldn’t that help ease things a little?”
It did, but I wasn’t about to divulge all my secrets regarding Jeremy, my stranger—all the things that were keeping me inherently occupied at the moment. “It does, but I still want everything to be perfect.”
Laughing, my mother crossed her legs and leaned in a little. “You were always so devoted to anything you were interested in. Even as a child.”
I cocked my eyebrow. “Oh yeah? And I wonder where I got that from.”
My mother smiled. “Touché, Tyler. I suppose you were always going to be the fighter. It is in your genes, after all.”
I laughed a little, but the annoyance from earlier was still running through me. “So, back to w
here we were. Why is it so important that Ian and I get together? We’ve known each other since we were practically babies, and apart from the odd playful banter, we both know that the banter is as far as it goes. I have no interest in Ian in that way. We were, and always will be, extremely close, but I have to tell you the truth. I miss Dean. I think about him every day. I wonder what on earth happened to him and why he never returned to me.”
My mother flinched at my words. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I never realised you felt that way.”
I sighed, feeling myself relax a little. “I didn’t think it was that hard to see, Mum. I pined for him. In a sense, I still do. I know it sounds crazy, but he was my first love. Surely you remember your first love?”
My mum smiled, a hint of nostalgia in her eyes. “His name was Blake and he was considered the bad boy at my school. I was infatuated, but your grandparents couldn’t stand the boy. I guess history truly does repeat itself. But the difference for me was I grew out of the bad boy that he was and, as I got older, I started focusing on more important issues in my life. By the time I was about thirteen, I knew I was going to be a lawyer. I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of that.”
“Do you know what happened to Blake?” I asked. I never knew this side of my mother, so this was more than a little intriguing.
My mother smiled, a little mischievously. “Funny enough, Blake was my third case to trial. He was twenty-four by then, and had been in and out of prison for various things. His case was a triple burglary, and four counts of being in possession of an illegal substance. When I saw him, I thought I wouldn’t be able to get through the case. I considered dropping it, or fumbling my way through. But I was just starting out. I had won my last two cases and I wasn’t going to let anyone come between that. My career was my life.”
“So you sent him down?” I asked, eager to hear the rest.
“Yes. It didn’t help that one of the houses he robbed belonged to the mayor. I think he realised that was a huge mistake right there. He got sent to prison for fifteen years, but was out after seven.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Wow! Didn’t you ever worry about—?”
“Revenge?” she asked, interrupting me. I nodded. “I did for a bit, but when he came out, it wasn’t long before he was back in again. It would seem that a life of crime and prison was all he was meant for. He did have his chance to seek retribution, but I kind of knew he wouldn’t do anything.”
I saw the glint in her eye, so had to ask, “Why?”
My mother took another sip of her drink. “Because he wrote to me while he was in jail. He said that being sentenced by me was the hottest and most unforgettable experience he had ever had. He said he knew he was going down, and if anybody had to do it, he was glad it was me. That he would gladly replay the case over and over in his head. That it would be the one pleasant memory he would cling onto in prison. He ended by saying he would love it if we got together again, but knew I was married with a baby on the way. He wished me only happiness.”
Wow, that was just too much to take in. It seemed instead of clinging to hate and revenge, he accepted his fate and used my mother as his idol. I didn’t blame him one little bit for that.
“That must have been a boost, knowing he must have fantasised about you, and secretly hoped that you could be together again one day.”
My mother nodded. “Of course, but Blake and I were two different people, wanting different ways of life. I respected that and so did he.”
The little devil in me had to know. “Yeah, but haven’t you ever thought about what things would have been like if you had waited for him? Haven’t you ever considered that if it wasn’t for Dad, you would have considered meeting up—even if it was just the one time?”
My mother sat back against her chair, deep in thought. “I guess a part of me always wondered what things would have been like if I had lived my life vicariously, stayed with the bad boy, and let him wickedly ruin me.” My mum raised her eyebrows, making me laugh.
“But, at the end of the day, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t have met your father. I wouldn’t have had two of the most beautiful and healthy daughters anyone could have asked for. I’m happy with my life now. Your father gives me everything I need…and more. Why would I pine for anything else?”
I nodded my head, but the wicked version of me wondered about this Blake guy. I wondered what he was doing now, and if he still thought about my mother. I bet he still did. The romantic in me wished that simply because it gave me hope that Dean still thought about me. Dean was my Blake—not that he was a bad boy. He just had this titillating way about him, a small glint of delectable wickedness…a part of which had me falling in love with him. And I thought that’s how he felt about me.
I had to sigh a little, wondering if he were married now with kids of his own. If he was married with kids, was there a day where the thought of Tyler popped into his mind? Although I would never condone another man thinking of me while being with his wife, it didn’t stop the little seed of hope that sprouted within me.
After my mother’s finished telling her story, the waitress came over with our meals. Most of the conversation after that was just small talk. My mother and father were going to visit my sister next week and were disappointed I couldn’t come. I would one day, but I just had too many things going on right now.
We left the restaurant with a hug and a promise that in two weeks, when they’re back, we would all meet up again. I was stuffed from my meal, but also a little giddy from my mother’s story. I guess, in a sense, history does repeat itself. I just wondered if I would ever find my happily ever after like my mother did. My future was filled with possibilities and uncertainty. It was scary, but also a little exciting. Lord knows what tomorrow may bring.
A little later, I took a shower and looked through my wardrobe to pick out my fancy costume for tonight. It was a little risqué for me as the skirt was rather short. It did have a cape, though, so I could hide my modesty a little. I was going as a vampire tonight. A dark princess who liked to bite and suck her victims’ blood.
I laughed a little as I thought about how apt it was, considering my stranger liked to bite me. I was sure if he could draw blood, he would. I don’t know why, but the thought of that had my heart pumping and my pussy throbbing. I never thought I would want someone to bite me, but ever since my stranger did it, I just ended up wanting more. For some reason, my orgasms just seemed more intense when he bit me. It was like the pain meshed with the pleasure, causing an undiluted force that took my breath away.
Shaking my head in dismay, I took the costume and concentrated on getting ready. I wouldn’t allow myself to think of my stranger tonight. He was obviously having some kind of tantrum, throwing his teddy in the corner and making me pay for something I hadn’t even realised I’d done. If he wanted to behave like that, I was going to let him. I refused to think about him tonight, so I did the only thing I could to forget. I got dressed, put more make-up on than I truly intended, and made my hair a mass of sexy curls. My femininity and sex appeal was going to be my revenge tonight. I refused to let myself be affected by him. He had to know he couldn’t treat me like that and get away with it. Next time he came by, if he ever did, I would refuse his advances. He had to see that Tyler O’Shea didn’t take any shit from anybody.
I just wished he could see me now. He wouldn’t know what hit him.
Chapter 24
Dean
While seeking revenge, dig two graves—one for yourself.
Douglas Horton
I followed Tyler all the way to the club. I already knew she was going and had planned accordingly. It was a good thing it was a Halloween party, so being dressed in my normal hoodie with the Mike Myers mask on would look completely normal tonight.
I parked my Challenger in a safe spot nearby and walked towards the club. It was packed, with a long line going around the building. I had already made arrangements and I would sneak in through the back. I al
so made arrangements for Tyler and Louisa to be let in straight away. I gave my instructions, including a picture of what she looked like, and a description of what she would be wearing. I wasn’t the son of a crime lord for nothing.
I knocked on the back door. The bouncer, Tony, a.k.a Teddy, opened it. He was a big black bald guy, with the most impressive muscles I had ever seen. I knew I was tough, but even I wouldn’t be stupid enough to go up against a guy like him. Luckily for me, he was wary of me. Everyone who knew me was wary—and that’s just how I liked it. Having people wary of you commanded respect, and everyone respected me. They had no choice—unless, of course, they wanted a bullet to the head.
“Hey, Dean. How ya doing?”
I smiled at Tony. Although he was huge, his smile gave him away. He was a teddy bear at heart—hence the nickname Teddy.
“Evening, Teddy. What’s up?” He let me though the door and closed it behind me.
“Not much,” he said with a shrug. “I’ll be on duty outside for the rest of the evening. Which reminds me. Your girl, Tyler? I take it she is in line? Is she wearing the outfit you told me about?”
I almost closed my eyes, trying not to think about it. Knowing she was dressed up in that sexy vampire outfit with the short skirt at the front, and the cape trailing behind her made my cock come to life. No matter how hard I willed it to calm, just thinking about her was all it took.
“Yes,” I stated, flatly, handing him my phone. “Here’s a picture I took of her tonight.”
Tony took the phone from me and eyed it a little too long. “Damn!” he shouted. “No wonder you want to hit that.”
Without thinking, I snatched the phone from him. For some reason, hearing him talk about her like that made my blood boil. She was mine, nobody else’s. “Just do your fucking job, Tony.”
Tony reared back a little in shock. “I’m sorry, man, I didn’t mean to offend. I’ll go find her now. You have a good evening.”
Deviant Page 14
