Warmth spread in her chest. “I like when you smile too. You don’t do it enough.”
He breathed in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Well . . . you’re certainly helping with that. Come on, let’s get out of here.”
When they returned to the limo, she grinned with delight. Lucian had one of the servants set up a chessboard for the ride home. Once they were on their way he said, “Okay, Ms. Keats, let’s see how fast I can get you naked.”
Scout returned his challenging glare with a smile. “You’re on, Mr. Patras.”
By the time they reached the city limits, she had lost her shirt, literally. She was still smiling, however, because she had managed to collect Lucian’s shoes and tie.
“Check,” he called as he cornered her king. Her only choice was to intervene and sacrifice her knight. She moved her piece, recognizing that the game would be over very soon.
“I’ll take that lovely bra, Ms. Keats.” A chill spread over her shoulders as she met his gaze. “Don’t even try it. Last time I let you get away with those puppy dog eyes, but not this time. You should’ve protected your king better.”
Moving her pawn she huffed. “Fine.”
Reaching around her back, she undid the clasp and slowly slid the straps down her arms. Her breasts pulled tight as the cooler air touched her flesh. Taking a deep breath, she sat up straight and faced Lucian.
He stared at her with unblinking eyes as his hand moved one of his pieces. She frowned at the board. His move was foolish, but she wasn’t going to give him the chance to take it back. Her bishop slid over and knocked out his rook.
He nodded in approval and without a word began unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes bored into her, and she suddenly realized what he was doing. Once his chest and arms were bare he moved his queen. “Check.”
He hadn’t even glanced at the board, but he was right. He had her in check again. She examined the board, curling her shoulders in and trying to hide under her hair. She was very self-conscious of him watching her. Her lips pursed. “If I move my queen you’ll only take it. I refuse to give you my panties.”
“There’s always a consequence,” he rasped, shifting as if he were uncomfortable in the tight space.
His abs formed a neat little stack of ridges, and his belly button was perhaps the most perfect belly button to ever exist. Wiry, dark hair traveled from his navel and disappeared somewhere beneath his pants. Oddly, she found his body exquisite and mesmerizing, where she found her own reflection lacking and flawed. She liked seeing him partially dressed, something she hadn’t expected to enjoy.
“This isn’t fair. You’ve had way more practice,” she whined, crossing her arms over her breasts.
“You were quite aware of the rules when we started.”
His fingers closed over her wrist and pulled her arms away, exposing her breasts once again. She watched as his drowsy eyes stared at her chest. Why did men have such obsessions with boobs? His fingers twitched and she scooted back an inch.
He looked at her then, stared into her eyes, warning her not to move again. Her chest filled with quick breaths as his hand slowly rose and cupped her breast. Warm heat engulfed her, and her lashes lowered. Her eyes opened as his fingers closed over the nipple of her other breast. She gazed down at his hands touching her body and found the image very erotic.
His palms slid to her sides, thumbs teasing the turgid tips, and suddenly she was being lifted over his lap. Her knees pressed into the soft leather seating on either side of his hips as he settled her thighs over his.
Hands squeezed over her hips and slowly traveled up her bare back. Lucian pulled her to him as his mouth crashed over hers. His tongue seared into her mouth, hot and wet. His hands gripped her to him, and she found her own hands holding the thick flesh of his shoulders tight. She didn’t want him to let go.
Their heads tilted as they took from each other. Lucian growled as she tried getting a little creative and lost their rhythm a bit. Taking hold of her neck, he took back his control and showed her what it was to be kissed soundly.
Her thighs squeezed down on him. It was difficult to stay still. Scout pressed up on her knees, wanting to get closer. He directed her hips back down only to help them rise again. Guiding her motions, he remained in complete control. When she drew up on her knees another time, he ripped his mouth from hers and latched onto her breast.
Her head tipped back and she moaned. “Oh my God, Lucian!” Sensation burst inside of her.
He wasn’t delicate with her. He sucked her flesh hard, bruising the tender tips, but it felt too good to ask him to be gentle. His mouth moved from one breast to the other and then back to her lips. It was a cycle she never wanted to end.
Scout thought about that morning and what he had done to her. She wanted to feel like that again. Boldly, she reached around to where he gripped her hips and nudged his hand. She closed her palm over his hand and directed it between her thighs. He pulled his mouth from hers and pressed his forehead to her shoulder. As he panted he looked down at where she had moved his hand.
Suddenly she was being flipped over, and the cool leather upholstery pressed into her back. Lucian dropped to his knees on the floor of the car and peeled her panties down her legs. Her heart raced as she watched him look at her there, completely bare, nothing to cover herself with.
“God you’re beautiful.” He kissed her hip and licked up to her breasts. His strong fingers massaged her ass, and then his mouth was between her legs.
“Lucian, no!”
She reached for his head as his tongue licked her slit. All of her pleasure vanished, suddenly replaced with extreme mortification.
Scout squeezed his head with her thighs and he yanked back.
“Stop.” The command fell from his lips like a whip cracks through the air, sharp and precise.
He wrenched her knees apart and glared at her. His gaze was hard and had her shrinking away as if he’d slapped her.
“Why are you here?” he asked with intent. When she said nothing he barked, “Answer the question!”
“Because you asked me to be,” she whispered, a little frightened.
“And how did I ask you to come to me? What were my conditions?”
Why was he acting like this? “Prepared. You get control.”
“This is not a game, Evelyn. I either have the control when it comes to sex or it doesn’t happen. If you can’t agree to that I’ll have Dugan gather your things and deliver them to your home and our agreement will be over. I will not ever tolerate being told no by my lover.”
“But I’m not your lover,” she whispered, and he looked at her menacingly, one last time, then sat up.
He retrieved his shirt and began to get dressed. She wasn’t sure what was happening. He kept changing the rules. The weight of her sweater suddenly on her thighs made her cringe. What was she doing?
Dressing was a shameful experience. Each item of clothing acted as a reminder of how far she had fallen. By the time she zipped her boots, she was blinking back tears. Being whatever she was supposed to be to him was simply too hard.
She had never been so happy to see Patras Hotel before. She’d go change her clothes, grab her bag and go. Tomorrow she’d beg Tamara to give her her old hours back. When the doors opened to the penthouse floor, Lucian went to the private elevators and she walked briskly toward her room. He cursed and called her name. She walked faster.
As she dug her key out of her pocket she saw him gaining on her. Thankfully she unlocked the door on the first try and had the satisfaction of slamming it in his face.
“Evelyn, open the door.”
“Go away.”
Disappointingly, that’s all it took. He sighed and she heard his muffled steps walk away. He didn’t persevere, didn’t try to convince her further.
Once Scout got over the sting of being so quickly discarded, s
he began to pack. She rummaged through the drawers, putting any practical items aside, items she could carry with her, wear or sell. She wasn’t taking the majority of the clothes with her, because she simply couldn’t lug it all, but she could at least put them back in the bags and boxes, so returning them wouldn’t be a hardship for whomever got that job.
Pursing her lips, she contemplated her belongings. Were they truly hers? She hadn’t met her side of the bargain. She didn’t steal. Convincing herself that the items were likely inconsequential to Lucian, she stifled any protests from her conscience and stuffed them into a bag.
Her bed was made and her bags were packed. She tied her old sneakers and sighed as she placed her warm coat on the comforter. She’d need that once winter hit. There was a quiet beep, and then she heard the knob turning. Her jaw unhinged when Lucian stepped inside the room and slammed the door.
“What are you doing here? You can’t just barge into someone’s room!”
He looked around dramatically, taking in the walls, ceiling, and floor. “I’m sorry. I thought this was my hotel.”
Exasperated, she grabbed her bags and snapped, “Fine, stay. I’m leaving.” He gripped her arm and pressed her into the wall before she could get to the door. “Get off of me, Lucian.”
“You don’t want to leave,” he whispered, boxing her in with his body.
“Yes. I do.”
“Liar.”
He was unbearable. Challenging him was like swimming upstream in a lead vest. She simply didn’t have the energy. Her body slackened. “I don’t understand you.”
“I’m very complicated,” he whispered almost humorously.
“You’re beyond complicated. I’ve never met anyone as frustrating as you. You can’t expect me to be what you want if you constantly change your expectations.”
“I told you what I want.”
She scoffed. “You told me to be on time, dress appropriately, provide company, and stay away from lower Folsom. Other than that I’m flying blind.”
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Don’t go.”
“Why should I stay?”
“Because you like me.”
She did like him, the big jerk. The jury was still out on whether or not that was a good thing, but that didn’t make it any less true. She liked the way he made her laugh and distracted her from all the terrible things she was used to coping with, but at the same time he somehow had the ability to make her feel terrible about herself. She never second-guessed herself until she was around Lucian.
“This isn’t going to work.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t know what it is you want!”
He suddenly pulled away and dragged her toward the bed. He sat down and tugged her until she sat beside him. He wouldn’t let go of her hand.
“I’m fucked-up, Evelyn. I need to have things a certain way and if I’m ever going to care about someone again I need to know I have complete control.”
“Again?”
“Yes. Again. I don’t usually share my past with others and I don’t intend on changing. Suffice it to say I lost someone very important to me once and she’d still be here if she had listened to me and done as I said.”
“Lucian, you can’t control everything. What good would it be to have a relationship with someone who’s had every bit of individuality stripped from them?”
“I want you to be an individual. That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then explain to me what it is you want,” she said, truly wanting to understand.
“I want your submission.”
“My submission?”
“Yes. I want to possess you in a way no one else can or will. I want to own your body and I want you to surrender it to me willingly. I want to be able to spoil you and treat you, all in return for the comfort of knowing you’ll be there waiting at the end of my day. I want to take care of you, but I also want you to take care of my needs in a way no one else can. I want you to trust me, Evelyn, to make the right choices for you.”
She swallowed and tried to find her voice. That was a whole lot of expectations.
“Why me?”
“Because I like you. You’re feisty, but also a natural submissive—”
She knew what submissive meant. And she wasn’t that. She’d been running her own life since she could walk. “Lucian, I am not submissive. You have no idea what I’m like outside of your world.”
“But you are, Evelyn. I recognized it the first time I saw you at my desk. You don’t even have to try, and when you do surrender to my will, you do so with absolute grace.”
She shook her head, her gaze climbing over the enormous stack of boxes at the wall. “I don’t know you well enough to trust you that way. I don’t trust anyone.”
“Give it time. I promise I’ll never do anything that puts you in danger. I’m a good protector, Evelyn, of that I’m certain.”
If only he realized how much she wanted a protector, how badly she wanted to agree to everything he proposed. In time, if she could give Lucian what he needed, he could help her save Pearl and maybe even help Parker get back on his feet.
But the emotional surrender he was looking for wasn’t something she could command. It was a useless negotiation chip because she had no control over her trust for others. It either existed or didn’t. And all of her life, with every person she ever allowed herself to get mildly close to, it never had existed. Maybe she wasn’t capable of such complete trust. Maybe she could fake it, use willpower to agree to the things he wanted no matter how it tore her up inside. If it wasn’t real, then she wouldn’t lose her head like some romantic fool. She’d know exactly what she was agreeing to at all times.
“Lucian, what you said in the limo about telling you no—”
“In bed. I do not accept being told no in bed,” he clarified.
“But what if you do something I don’t like.”
“I’d never hurt you, Evelyn.”
She rubbed her head wearily. “Physically maybe, but you can’t take away my right to say no. I could never submit to that level. I just don’t have it in me.”
“Then we’ll have a safe word.”
“A what?”
His gaze grew hopeful, his eyes softening further, a hint of color returning to his face. “A safe word. A word you wouldn’t normally say in intimate situations. You say that and everything stops. It’ll be your ticket to end our contract. Game over. All you have to do is breathe it and I’ll let you go.”
Everything was always so final with him. He didn’t have gears. There was no slowdown or reverse. It was full steam ahead or nothing.
Scout thought about what he said. She wasn’t sure what had happened in his past to make control such an unbending need of his. For some reason it made sense that Lucian would perform best in that sort of dynamic. The question was, could she?
Resigned, she knew she couldn’t just walk away at this point. She’d never forgive herself for turning down the opportunities he offered just because she was too afraid to try. It was sex. Sex was physical. She could do that, surrender her body, but hold tight to her emotions.
She also couldn’t deny that he piqued certain unknown appetites. When Lucian kissed her, things happened. She was curious what else there was, what else he could make her feel. So long as she kept her mind grounded in the physical and avoided the emotional, she should be able to do this.
Sighing, she asked, “What would the word be?”
His smile was a true expression of deep satisfaction. It spread over his face slow and beautiful like a sunrise, chasing away the darkness. “That, my dear, is your choice.”
The perfect word skated off her tongue before she even realized she had chosen it. “Checkmate.”
Chapter 15
Trust
Lucian carried a bag of Scout�
��s personal items onto the elevator as she held her housekeeping uniform. “I need to use your iron when we get upstairs. This is horribly wrinkled.”
“I’ll have someone come pick it up for dry-cleaning.”
She grimaced. “You’re not sending out my housekeeping uniform for someone from housekeeping to clean. That’s ridiculous. It can’t be that difficult to iron.”
He shrugged as they stepped off. “Never tried.”
Weren’t they a pair? He placed her bag on a chair in the seating area and flipped through a pile of mail on his desk. Scout scrutinized her uniform and brushed over some of the creases.
“You know I could have another one delivered for you, but I’m not going to do that because you know how I feel about you working in the first place.”
Great. This again.
“If you don’t want me working at Patras, I’ll go get a job somewhere else.”
Tossing the mail back on the messy desk, he took the uniform out of her hands and hung it from a sconce on the wall. He turned her until she was facing him. “I don’t want you to work at all. I can provide everything you need.”
“Lucian, that isn’t practical. I need spending money.”
“Why do you need money?”
She rolled her eyes and countered, “Why do you?”
“So that I can take care of you.”
“Smart-ass.” She carried her bag into the guest room and set her black shoes out for the morning after she unloaded her toiletries.
“Seriously, Evelyn, if you need money I’ll give it to you. Just tell me how much you need.” He gathered up her cosmetic bag and carried it into the master bath. He returned and picked up her sneakers and carried them into the master bedroom.
“What are you doing?” she finally asked when he picked up her bag.
“What are you doing? I told you where you were sleeping. My bed’s that way.”
Okay, then.
After she unpacked her minimal amount of belongings and discovered ironing was not difficult, but a pain in the ass, they sat at the small dining area in the corner and had dinner. Lucian ordered almond-crusted fish with rice and green vegetables. It was delicious.
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