Again, I’m left confused, which seems to be a reoccurring thing whenever I’m around them.
Silence skips by as Zay drives toward the end of the driveway.
Halfway down, Hunter looks at me again with a contemplative look on his face. “You wanna know why some guys want your cousin?” he asks. “And I mean, the real reason. Not your naïve assumption.”
“Hey, I may be a lot of things, but I’m not naïve,” I protest. “I’ve seen a lot of dark shit in my time. Like, way more than your average person.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” he agrees, crossing his arms on the back of the seat. “But I’m not talking about dark shit. I’m talking about sex, something I’m starting to wonder if you know anything about.”
I roll my eyes. “Again, I’m not a naïve idiot. I know what goes where and how to get it done.”
An amused smile plays at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, but have you ever had the what in your where? Or, in less naïve terms, a dick in your pussy.”
Zay shakes his head as he steers the car out of the driveway and onto the highway that leads to the main part of town. “What the hell, Hunter?” he mumbles.
“Careful,” Jax warns Hunter with an icy look. “Don’t cross that line.”
Hunter tries to charm him over with a dazzling smile. “Chill, big brother. I got this.”
Zay mumbles something under his breath again, and Jax presses Hunter with another cold look.
“I hope you do,” he warns.
Hunter just keeps on grinning as he then looks at me. He assesses me with a spark of mischievousness in his eyes. “Have you?” he finally asks.
I get the feeling he’s trying to embarrass me, and he kind of is, but I’m not about to allow him to have the satisfaction of knowing that. So, I dig out my façade of indifference, something I can be quite good at when I need to. “Have I had a cock in my pussy?” I ask, carrying his gaze.
Delighted surprise flickers in his eyes. “Yeah, little raven, that’s what I’m eagerly waiting to hear the answer to.”
“Why does it matter?” I question.
He lifts a shoulder. “For a couple of reasons. One being so I can figure out how I want to explain this whole Dixie May situation that you’ve gotten all wrong.”
“I’m not wrong about guys wanting her,” I insist. When none of them make any effort to say anything, I let out a loud sigh. “Fine. You want me to say it, then I’ll say. Yeah, I’m a virgin. No one’s put their cock in my pussy. No one’s really touched me. No one’s ever kissed me … Well, sort of …” Memories try to rise inside my mind, but I stifle them. “But, so what? There are plenty of virgins walking around in this world. I’m not an anomaly.”
As soon as I end my rant, I want to kick my own ass.
What the hell am I doing?
Worse, no one says anything right away, as if I’ve shocked them all into silence. Even Hunter, which seems almost impossible.
Finally, Zay clears his throat and shifts. That seems to draw everyone out of their stupor spell that my stupid mouth seemed to cast over them.
Hunter eyes me over curiously. “So weird.”
“What is?” I ask defensively.
He shakes his heads, still looking at me the same way. “I’m just wondering how.”
“How what?” I wrap my arms protectively around myself and brace myself for whatever’s coming. I can tell something bad is about to happen.
He wets his lips with his tongue, a strange look of curiosity flashing across his expression. “How you’re a virgin.” He shakes his head. “Fuck, how have you not even been kissed before?”
“Actually, she said she sort of hasn’t been kissed,” Zay reminds him, his gaze straying to the rearview mirror and colliding with mine. “She never explained what that meant.”
“And I’m not going to,” I proclaim. “So, can we please just stop talking about this?”
Wisps of Hunter’s blond hair falls into his eyes as his gaze sweeps across my body. Then he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip and looks me in the eye. “Nah, I wanna keep talking about it or else it’s gonna be on my mind all damn day.”
“Hunter,” Jax cautions, sounding as if he’s losing his patience. “Rule number one.”
Hunter scrunches his nose. “Dammit, Jax, you’re always ruining my fun.” He sighs when Jax continues to stare him down. “Whatever. I’ll back off …” He momentarily frowns then fixes a smile onto his face as he looks at me again. “Guys like screwing your cousin, little raven, not because she’s some gorgeous goddess but because she’s probably an easy lay.”
“Maybe that’s true, but she’s still pretty,” I tell him with a shrug. “Tons of people have said so. And even though I don’t like her and think she’s totally vile, she is pretty. That’s something that just is what it is. And while I get that not every guy is into looks, there were a huge handful of them at our old school who were, and so Dixie May had quite the little groupie fan base that basically did whatever she asked.”
And her favorite thing to ask was for them to torment me.
Hunter crinkles his nose. “She’s okay-looking. But she tries to look that way. And whatever. If she wants to look good, then go ahead. It’s not really the point of this conversation.” He angles his head to the side as he reaches over the seat and sweeps his knuckles across my cheek. “Have you actually looked at yourself in a mirror? Or does your aunt and uncle not give you that privilege either?”
I lean away from his touch, feeling all sorts of weird about it.
I’ve spent so long not being touched until these guys entered my life twenty-four hours ago. And while I may not hate it, that contact of skin-to-skin makes me feel way out of my element.
“Yeah, I’ve looked in a mirror. My life isn’t that crazy. But I don’t look in it that much because I don’t try to look pretty.” I also hate seeing the scars all over my body, but I’m not going to tell them that. “And I don’t really care if am.
“I’m also not blind. I know my cousin is pretty. And from past experiences, her looks have gotten her what she’s wanted a lot. And right now, she wants you guys.”
“I’m sure you’re right. And I never said she wasn’t pretty, just that it wasn’t a completely natural pretty. I also said that wasn’t the point I was trying to get across.” Hunter reaches for me again. “Have you ever really looked at yourself? And I mean really looked at yourself without thinking about all the shit people have said to you?” He grazes the pad of his thumb along my bottom lip. “Have you ever paid attention to your lips? Have you ever tried to bite on them to get your way?” He then sketches his fingertip underneath my eye. “And those eyes. All you’d have to do is bat them at someone and you could get whatever you want. You just didn’t know any of this, so you haven’t done it.” He lowers his hand from my face. “And don’t even get me started on the rest of you.” His gaze deliberately scans up and down my body.
I hold my breath, hoping he’ll stop talking because it’s making me extremely uncomfortable. I can’t recall the last time anyone said anything nice to me—probably when my parents were alive—so I feel like Hunter is about to start laughing in my face and tell me he’s joking.
“Those long legs and that fucking ass …” He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip. “It was the first thing I saw yesterday morning when I walked into the office. And fuck, if it wasn’t the best way to start my day. It was almost as good as getting fucked. Although, probably not as good as actually fucking you in the—”
“All right, that’s enough,” Jax cuts him off, his gaze searing into Hunter.
I startle, but I attempt to appear calm on the outside. Inside, I’m a mess. The compliments … the things he said … no one has ever spoken to me that way before, and I don’t know whether to be wary, appalled, or turned on. My body doesn’t seem to know either as a shiver rolls through me. Luckily, though, I’m a pro at keeping my cool and manage to act indifferent.
Hunter, though, looks all sor
ts of riled up, his gaze blazing into mine. But then he blinks, as if coming out of some sort of daze, and shifts his gaze to Jax. Surprisingly, he glares at him. “No, it’s not. She needs to hear this. Her confidence is so damn low it’s ridiculous.”
Jax scoots forward in the seat, his tone low but burning with warning. “And I told you to be careful with your choice of words. You’re about to cross a line, and deep down, you know that. You’re getting too worked up, so take a timeout, turn around, and focus on something else besides her.”
Hunter smashes his lips together, his gaze flitting from me to Jax. “Fine.” He turns around, crosses his arms, and stares out the window, pouting.
I let a slow breath ease from my lips as silence settles amongst the four of us. Jax is clearly annoyed. So is Hunter. Zay … I can’t see his face, but his knuckles are white as he grips the wheel.
Awesome. I’ve caused a fight between them already.
See? This is why you don’t have friends.
I start to suggest that maybe they should take me home, though the bus has probably come and gone by now, but then Jax turns to me.
“Now, why the hell does your side hurt this morning?” he asks, or more like demands.
I shake my head. “I already said—”
He puts that damn finger against my lips again. “Either you’re going to tell me, or I’m going to lift your shirt and see for myself.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Go ahead. I’ll fight you—you know I will. But what you don’t know about me is that I’ve got a wicked right hook. I just didn’t get a chance to use it yesterday. Today, I’m more prepared.”
“I’m sure you are,” he says without an ounce of emotion in his tone, so I can’t tell if he believes me or not. “But trust me; I’ll win this fight. I always do, because I always do whatever it takes to win.”
A chill rolls down my spine, but I resist the compulsion to shiver.
“So do I,” I lie.
The truth is that, while I always try to win fights, I fail most of the time; either because I’m outnumbered or, like with my uncle, it’s an authoritative figure who’s hurting me.
I swallow hard then lift my chin, refusing to look weak.
Jax’s eyes shadow over, his pierced lips parting. “If you think—”
“Zay, pull the car over for a minute,” Hunter announces, giving a pressing glance at Zay.
Jax’s gaze cuts to Hunter. “Why?” he asks at the same time Zay gives him a confused look and mutters, “Wait … You’re not …?”
Hunter gives Zay with an indecipherable look then looks at Jax. “I know you think I can’t handle this, but just let me talk to her privately for, like, five minutes. You guys can keep an eye on me from the car, and if it looks like I’m getting out of control, tape my mouth shut and make me ride in the trunk.” His lips quirk with amusement. But underneath the humor, I detect the slightest bit of sadness reflecting in his eyes.
I wonder what it is, what could possibly make the most upbeat guy I’ve ever met sad.
Jax meticulously studies him. “Are you going to …?”
Hunter swallows hard then nods. “Yeah … I think it might help. With everything.”
Jax considers what he said then nods. “We’ll give you five minutes. That’s it, though. And keep on topic. No straying off to her ass or legs, got it?”
Hunter nods.
Sighing loudly, Zay slows down the car and steers it over onto a flattened space on the side of the road near a cluster of trees. An old farmhouse is in the distance, but other than that, nothing else is around, so there are no witnesses if they decide to pull a stunt like they did yesterday.
“You do realize I can hear you guys, right?” I say, my lips moving against Jax’s finger since he hasn’t pulled it away yet.
“Really?” Hunter mockingly gasps. “This whole time I thought you were deaf. Crap, I hope I didn’t say anything offensive.” He pulls a whoopsie face.
I blast him a hardy har har look, to which he responds with a cheeky grin.
Sighing, Jax lowers his finger from my lips then pats the back of Hunter’s seat. “Hurry up. I want to have time to go over the rules with her.”
Hunter gives him a salute then pushes the door open, hops out, and lifts the seat up. Then Jax lowers his head and climbs outside, too. A couple of seconds tick by where they simply stand there before Hunter glances back into the cab, strands of his hair hanging in his eyes.
“Come on, little bird; you and I need to talk about a few things,” he tells me, weirdly without grinning.
“Little bird,” the doctor whispers in my ear, causing goosebumps to sprout across my flesh. “Close your eyes …”
“Fine.” I grimace as I cross the seat toward him. “But please don’t call me little bird. If you have to call me something other than my name, then just stick with little raven, okay?”
A crease forms between his brows, but he nods. “Okay. Little raven it is.”
I appreciate his lack of arguing about this—honestly, I didn’t think any of them would ever not argue with me—and offer him a small smile. “Thanks.”
He smiles back and mutters, “So fucking beautiful.”
Luckily, Jax doesn’t hear him, or else I think he would have chewed his ass out.
Me? I roll my eyes so damn hard they nearly get stuck in the back of my head.
But all Hunter does is give me an innocent look. “What? I’m just saying the truth.”
Sighing, I move to climb out, and halfway out, Hunter takes my hand, unnecessarily helping me the rest of the way out. When I’m standing, he doesn’t release my hand, guiding me past Jax and toward some trees.
My guard immediately goes up, and I curl my free hand into a fist, preparing to fight if I need to. “Where are we going?”
“Into those trees,” Hunter replies as he continues to pull me forward, his clunky boots scuffing the dirt. “I need some privacy for this.”
My stomach ravels into knots again, but this time it’s an unpleasant sensation.
Maybe I am naïve, I realize. I mean, I got in a car with these guys without a phone or anything, and now I’m wandering into the trees with one of them.
I have a feeling something bad is about to happen.
The worst part is, I did it to myself.
Raven
Unnerving silence stretches between us as Hunter leads me closer to the trees and farther away from civilization.
“Relax.” He gives my hand a squeeze. “None of us are ever going to hurt you.”
“I’m not worried about you hurting me,” I lie coolly. I kind of am, but I’m not going to freak out. It’s not my style. No, I’m going to remain calm until I need to fight.
Once tree branches and shade surround Hunter and me, he comes to a stop and faces me. “This should be good enough.” He peers around the area then releases my hand.
I keep my fist curled, ready to fight. “Good enough for what?”
“For it to just be you and me.” He threads his fingers through mine again and smiles at me, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know it’s hard to trust people. Trust me; I get that—we all do. But we’re never going to even get a chance to earn your trust if you won’t trust us even a little. In order to gain trust, you have to give trust a little bit, if that makes any sense.”
“Yeah, it does, but that doesn’t mean I can just give it.” I give a half-shrug. “It’s almost instinctive for me to not trust people.” For a lot of reasons.
In fact, I don’t even trust myself.
“And again, I understand that, so I’m gonna attempt to put a little fracture in your instinct by trusting you enough to show you something that no one except for Zay, Jax, and the person who did this to me knows about.” He opens and flexes his free hand and takes an uneven breath.
He’s nervous.
Why’s he nervous?
When he lifts up the hem of his shirt, I suddenly have my answer.
My breath catches in my t
hroat at the sight of the long, thin, but deep scars covering his sides, chest, and waist.
“What happened?” I ask, glancing up to meet his gaze.
He rubs his lips together as he lowers his shirt, then a breath trembles from his lips. “My dad had this mistress … She was bad … even worse than my real mom …” His hand starts to tremble in mine, so he pulls away and crosses his arms, tucking his hands underneath his armpits. “But anyway, she’s a bitch who gets off on using her power on people who are weaker than her. And when I was younger, I was a lot weaker than her … And, well, she used to do things to me a lot … And she would scratch me a lot while she did those things to me.”
He doesn’t specify what the things are, but with the way he’s trembling, I get a pretty good idea.
“You’re lovely, little bird,” he whispers while stroking my hair. “You’re the loveliest bird I’ve ever captured.”
The memories tears at the inside of my brain and I stab my fingernails into my palms, reigning back my emotions, and concentrate on Hunter.
I’m not really certain what to say to him. I’ve never had anyone confide in me with something so personal. It makes me feel uncomfortable; enough that I just want to get back in the car. But he’s also standing here in front of me, shivering from what I’m fairly sure isn’t the cold, and the sight of it tugs at a memory of me trembling in a bed while my uncle leaned over me and carved the word freak into my side. It was the first time he did it, and I was freakin’ terrified. But I learned quickly to numb myself.
“I’m sorry,” I finally say.
Then, before I can give myself a chance to back out, I reach for the hem of my own shirt and lift it up, putting all my scars and the fresh wounds on display for him.
As soon as the chilly air hits my skin, a shiver courses through my body. At least, that’s what I tell myself. Deep down, though, I know the cold air isn’t what has my body quivering.
Fear. Fuck. There it is again. I really don’t like it.
I almost tug my shirt back down, but he captures my hand.
The Raven (The Raven Four Series Book 2) Page 6
