by Anne Leigh
He flinched, his shoulders sagged on the kitchen table, “Babe, I was dating. Yeah, I was with them but I wasn’t really ‘with’ them. I think I was waiting for you. I like you. I want to get to know you. I really hope that you’ll give me the chance to do that.”
“Exclusively?”
“Yeah, just you and me. Getting to know each other. Not seeing other people,” he explained.
“I know what exclusive means. But we’re not boyfriend or girlfriend, right? I just don’t have time for that right now,” I said.
“Yeah, exclusive. Cool. For now.” His smile was so wide. The show of his pearly whites blinded me.
Zander
Other women thought I was a great catch. Key words: other women. Sedona was a different story.
We had tons of fun in bed. Outside of it, she was salt to a man’s bleeding ego.
I became well-acquainted with the furniture in her apartment. I came to her place every other day, but she was always busy writing papers and shit. She came out of her room for maybe 30 minutes or so, chatted with me for a few minutes, kissed me, and then disappeared. “Tons of papers to write,” she reasoned. I often ended up hanging out with her roommates.
She was ok with ‘exclusive’. She wasn’t, however, cool with having our pictures blasted in that Chatty Pepper’s website again.
Kieran’s father had informed her that legal action could not be taken against the website because technically, the public contributed the photos to the site. That Pepper lady was only the site’s administrator. Sedona disliked her privacy being violated. I didn’t like it either. I was better equipped in dealing with the public because my parents were regular news staples. She made me promise to avoid us being photographed together, as much as possible.
“You’re a popular figure, Zander. So is Kieran. Anytime I’m with you guys, my picture would probably be taken. I would have no control of it. What I do know is that if we’re around other people, then, maybe there won’t be any insinuations made about us,” she justified.
Who the hell cared? They could take whatever picture they wanted. I was proud to be with her. I wanted to be with her, in any way, shape, or form. So, if she wanted our exclusivity to be just between us for now, I had no choice but to be ok with it.
I had to bribe John or Dom with drinks, for them to go with me to see her after football practice. Her Tuesday and Thursday classes ran late so we walked to the Health and Human Sciences building (about 5 buildings away) from the football field and hung around there.
The presence of two or three football players received curious glances from other students. I went with the guys so it appeared as if we were all just friends, Sedona, me, and the guys, hanging around campus. My friends teased me that I had to grow some balls and prove to them that I was a man. I took it all in stride.
Whenever I saw her in her cute, little white nursing uniform or in jeans and her feminine tops, my heart literally skipped a beat. Every time she saw me waiting for her, she gave me her special smile. It was the kind of smile that drew you in, the kind that made me think, All the time I waited for her to come out of class, it didn’t fucking matter.
She was gorgeous – that was obvious. She was standoffish, at first. But once she let you in, you got pulled in her amazing personality. She often came out of her classes, laughing or chatting with her classmates. She introduced my friends and me, to some of them. There were a few male classmates whom I had the urge to introduce to my fists.
One time, Dom and I were waiting on her to come out of class. She came out laughing with a male classmate who was flirting with her. She was clueless about the effect she had on guys. When the guy touched her arm, my feet started walking towards them. Dom took a hold of my arm and said, “They’re just classmates. You don’t want to make a scene here.” I had to find my inner Mr. Miyagi to restrain myself. Relief rushed through me when I saw her politely remove his hand. I made a mental note of the shithead’s face.
After her classes, she tutored Anatomy and Physiology in the library for 2-4 hours on Tuesdays and sometimes, Thursdays. John or Dom split after walking with us to the library. I usually sat a few tables from her. I found myself finishing my Architecture projects and then some. My professors should send her letters of gratitude. All my projects and assignments got done way ahead of time.
During her scheduled 15-minute breaks, we met on the 3 floor of the library and made out between shelves 141-146. We worked each other up so much that by the time she finished her tutoring sessions, I was ready to haul her out of the library and finish what we started, at my place or at her apartment.
She might be salt to a man’s wounded ego, but she was a balm to my inner turmoil. I was definitely attracted to her. Physically, she was immaculate. When she kissed me, she awakened all my pent-up desires. She gave it as good as she got. She might be inexperienced, but she was definitely a fast learner. She told me she researched about sex because she wanted to be good at it when the time came for her. Boy, was she good!
I knew my attraction for her went beyond the physical. Her presence soothed me. When I was with her, a sense of peace engulfed me. Outside of the football field, I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. She definitely had her weird quirks – she drove within 5 mph of the speeding limit, except on the freeways, she brought it to 10 mph; she ironed her jeans; and, if someone touched her food, she didn’t eat from it again.
She also had her amazing quirks – she would defend her friends to death; she liked to touch me, any part of me; she was not shy about her body, in private; and, she kissed me every night, in person or over the phone.
Weird and amazing – those quirks made her whole. In my eyes, I knew that she could do anything – anything short of murder, lying, or cheating – and I would fight to keep her with me.
Sedona
Zander was an extremely understanding and patient man. When I asked him to respect my schedule, he did. When I asked him to respect my privacy, he did.
The attraction between us was undeniable. He showed up; I got hot. He smiled; I forgot my own thoughts. He touched me; my sense of propriety was lost. He often showed up with a friend to see me after class. I knew he did this for me. I had told him I didn’t want to be posted on that website as ‘one of his conquests,’ and if we could somehow not announce it to the world that we were ‘exclusive.’
I noticed how tense he got when other guys approached or talked to me. The jaw muscle ticking and clenching of his fists clued me in on how upset he got. He tried to hide it, but I have gotten closely acquainted to his muscle jaws tics. On and off ticking meant that he was slightly irritated or uncomfortable. A prolonged ticking, usually more than 2 minutes, meant that he was really upset, combined with his eyes turning a darker shade, more green than blue. When other guys tried to flirt with me, his jaw muscle tics were definitely prolonged. I tried my best not to aggravate the situation.
There was this one time when we were hanging out a coffee shop with his friends. I had gotten up to grab extra napkins. When I turned around, a guy started talking to me. He was nice. Typical college guy. Not bad-looking either. I smiled at him and he stared at me. Zander often told me that my smile alone could make a man lose his way. I was sure he was just teasing me. It was Zander’s smile that made me lose my way. The guy was asking me for my number when I felt a hand around my shoulder.
“Need help with the napkins?” Zander’s eyes were on me.
“Umm, no,” I said. “Can you please grab more sugar?”
The guy quickly said, “Later,” and we walked to our table.
He must have heard the guy asking me for my number because his eyes blazed and there it was, the jaw ticking appeared. I touched his hand under the table. A few minutes later, his demeanor relaxed and we were back to having a great time with his buddies.
Moments like those made me think that he was a vulnerable guy. Wonderful, but vulnerable.
Zander’s preferences and nuances slowly became engrained into my l
ife. I didn’t buy oranges when he was around because he hated them. His driving 15-20 mph above the speed limit (when I was looking) gave me palpitations every time. And his needing 3 alarms to wake him up whenever he slept at my place was a bothersome habit. It was extremely annoying; it was just not enough reason for me to kick him out of my bed. I soon discovered that I had a hard time falling asleep when he was not with me, especially when he had away games.
He also had really cute habits: he fell asleep on his stomach which provided me a lovely view of his ass under his boxers; he was very loyal to his friends; and he cooked or brought me food.
For a man who had everything – looks, talent, and wealth – he made me feel that I mattered. I had no shortage of great friends. They all made me feel valuable. With Zander, it was different. He made me feel like a woman. Desired and worthy. Brennan was a good boyfriend. The difference was that with Brennan, I felt like a trophy. With Zander, I felt like a treasure.
Tonight, 3 months after we became exclusive, I decided to surprise him. I texted him earlier that I needed help with a school project. I had never asked him for help with school so he sounded really excited to help me create a cool design for my presentation.
I asked Tanya to let him inside our apartment. He lightly knocked on my door and walked in.
I stifled a laugh when I heard his leg almost trip on the bed. His eyes had to adjust to the dim lighting. It was only 6:30 in the evening and my lights were dimmed. He climbed onto the bed and kissed me lightly on my cheek. I had the bed covers up all the way to my neck. I knew he was going to kiss my forehead next. He liked to do that. I felt the beginnings of a mustache as he lightly scraped his chin on my nose. I slid a wet tongue under his neck.
He stopped.
“Are you awake?” he whispered.
I didn’t move.
He kissed my forehead and before he rose from the bed, I pulled him towards me. He started kissing me on my lips.
I slowly pulled my mouth away from his and whispered, “I was wondering when you were going to get here.”
I continued nibbling on the side of his neck. His breath came in hot spurts.
“I’d have been here sooner if I knew what you were up to,” his voice came out strained and held a husky edge.
My tongue continued to trail down his neck. He was supporting his weight with his elbows. He was always worried that he was going to crush me.
It was time for the kicker. “I’ve been waiting for you,” I whispered. “Just want to let you know, I don’t have a stitch of clothing underneath this blanket.”
He sucked in a breath, stood up, and in record time, took off his shirt, jeans, and boxers. I heard him open my nightstand where the condoms were stored.
“No need for that tonight,” I said.
With wonderment in his voice, “You want to go bareback, babe?”
I told him when we started being ‘exclusive’ that I was on the pill to regulate my periods. A week after that, he handed me his full medical and physical report. I knew what he was telling me. He wanted to feel me without the rubber. I wasn’t ready for that, then. I was, now.
“Yes.”
He took another breath, “You’re killing me, babe.”
I lightly touched a finger inside of me and when he positioned himself on top of me, I sat up and put my finger into his mouth.
He sucked the wetness off of it.
“You’re wet for me?” he asked.
I nodded, my eyes glazed with passion.
“How wet?” he asked again.
I dipped a finger inside of me again and fed it to him.
“You’re so wet, babe,” his voice was hoarse.
The palm of my hand tightened around him and slid up and down. His hands found my nipples and played with them until they both peaked. He leaned forward to lick the sides of my breasts as he cupped the globes with both hands. I continued to play with him.
A finger founds its way between my thighs and started rubbing in slow, circular motions. I arched my back to grasp the full sensation of what he was doing to me. He continued rubbing me down there and alternately, sucking on my nipples, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I gasped and moaned, “I’m coming!”
Hot wetness spurted out of me as I reached my climax. I was on the edge the whole day and I reached my breaking point. He positioned himself directly on top of me and slowly sank into my wet heat.
I felt him inch inside of me. No barriers. Skin on skin.
“Oh fuck, babe,” he moaned.
I stretched open for him. I gyrated my hips so he could enter me deeper and wrapped myself around him like a glove. His hands tightened on my hips as he rocked back and forth inside me. I closed my eyes in pleasure.
“Open your eyes, babe,” he said while grunting.
I opened my eyes.
“Look at me,” he ordered, “This is what you fucking do to me.”
His eyes blazed with unadulterated heat and desire. His body glistened with sweat. His neck muscles were strained.
My room must’ve been 100 degrees. I looked into his eyes. I felt my walls clench and unclench in him. He felt bigger, deeper, as he sped up his rhythm.
He almost screamed, “Aahhh. I’m coming!”
My legs wrapped around him tightly as he spilled his release inside of me. He stayed inside for a few minutes; he kissed me on my lips, and said, “You’re amazing.”
I kissed him back and said, “Happy birthday.”
Zander
Best birthday gift ever.
I was her first. She was the first girl to ever have me without a condom. She was my first in that regard.
I didn’t tell her it was my birthday. It just never came up. She must have gotten the information from my friends.
I cleaned myself up in her bathroom. She walked inside the bathroom shortly after. Naked. She turned on the shower.
We ended up with Round # 2 in the shower.
After the shower, she told me to hurry up and to get dressed. I felt used. In a good way.
She said something about a restaurant reservation.
It was Wednesday. School night. She never went out on a school night. Super serious college student that she was, she stuck to her rules.
Tonight, she was breaking her rules for me. That made me smile.
After quickly drying her hair, she changed into a white blouse and beige pants and put on some lip gloss. I watched her while she did all these things. She was very low-maintenance. She didn’t wear any jewelry. The only piece of jewelry I saw her wear was a digital watch that she had to have when she did her clinical rotation, if that was even considered jewelry. She hardly put on any makeup. She didn’t need any. Hers was a beauty that makeup would only cover up. Her violet eyes twinkled at me. I was tempted to tell her that we should just stay here and not go anywhere.
She read my mind because she said, “No, we’re not staying here. Let’s go.”
When we started dating, I told her that I’d always drive. So she let me drive, all the time. She, however, bossed me around, all the time. Tonight, my bossy Sedona said we were going to Green’s Bar and Grille. The place where I first met her.
Once inside the place, the maitre’d led us to a private room. Wow, she had this all planned out. Intimate dinner. Great sex. Quality time with each other. She couldn’t have thought of a better birthday present.
I was wrong.
As soon as we entered the darkened room, the place lit up and I saw a big ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY!’ banner against the wall, amid cheers from our closest friends. Xavier, Dom, John, Tanya, Nalee, Kieran, Jackson, and around 20 guys from my football team were here.
Her eyes sparkled as she greeted me, along with everyone else, “Happy, happy, birthday, birthday boy!”
I was flabbergasted! This was a complete surprise. No one has ever done anything like this for me.
Friends and teammates came up to greet me. The room was filled with familiar faces and they all seemed excited and happy to be th
ere. The guys said all sorts of shit while they wished me happy birthday.
I looked for her. She came out of my hold earlier and she was now talking to her friends.
“Dude, you’re fuckin’ old!” Xavier exclaimed. He was holding a beer for me as he approached. I took it and bumped fists with him.
The whole room hopped to the sounds of my favorite club music. Man, my girl had this whole thing planned out.
A buffet line was arranged on one side of the room. My football team was already lining up on that side. The room was probably 1,000 square feet, but the presence of football players made it look like it was a third of its actual size.
