by Stock, L. J.
Galen and Litsa were examining the microwave as I ate, but Alexa joined me, slipping onto the stool next to mine, her elbows on the counter as she watched me eat. She lowered her voice so the conversation was a little more private.
“So… Damon didn't seem very happy when he left.”
I heard Litsa giggle, and looked up just in time to see her blush and turn away, completely missing the hurt look Galen gave her as she did. I took another mouthful, processing as I chewed.
“He's possibly more stubborn than I am and we disagreed on a few things.”
“Meaning you got too angry to stop your emotions from showing and met his stubborn with your own brand of pig-headedness?”
I smiled and took another bite of the deliciously greasy food on my plate. Alexa knew me well, including how I operated and it wouldn't have taken her long to figure it out even if I'd kept my mouth shut.
“What exactly did you disagree on?”
“Mostly that I wanted to do this Vis Liberi thing, though I did have some conditions he didn't seem to like too much.”
“As in?”
I took another mouthful and grinned when Alexa rolled her eyes. If I hadn't been so hungry, she would have grabbed my plate, but she was operating on the assumption I would take her arm off if she tried. She wasn't wrong.
“I want full training.”
“You can't cross without it.”
“All of it. Exactly as you were trained.”
“Cass...” She trailed off, choosing her words carefully, which was, once again, a testament to how well she actually knew me. Fighting fire with fire, when it concerned me, only resulted in me burning more fiercely until I got my way. “I see what you're saying, but I'm not certain it's going to be approved.”
“You agree?” Galen asked, apparently appalled.
“She needs to protect herself, and the prophecy states that there will be a fight of some sort. Isn't it better for her to be prepared?”
“I'm with them on this.” Zander nodded at Alexa and me. “Cass needs to be fighting fit.”
I kept my opinions about the prophecy to myself. As far as I was concerned I couldn't be the woman they were talking about when it came to that. There was no way in hell that my father, one Robert Collier, was a descendent of a nymph. Not even an underground one who apparently had the tendency to be craggy and moody. No, I was a regular Vis Liberi, the descendant of a water nymph, not some prophetic woman with dual elements and a preordained destiny. I planned on living like a Vis Liberi, too. I would fight whatever battle needed to be fought, and I would make sure I kicked ass while doing it.
The only silent party in the room, Acantha, chose that moment to speak, grabbing all the attention and effectively silencing the rest of us. For a moment, I thought she was in agreement with Zander, Alexa and me.
“I think maybe some strength training and coaching for translocation will do for now. As for the combat training...” She bled off and looked to Alexa and Zander. “I don't think that's our decision to make. As much as I think it would be prudent for her to protect herself, we have to be patient.”
“Patient?” I asked, incredulousness seeping into my tone. “For what? You don't think seven years in a hospital is patience? Or twenty-four years of a shitty life I never asked for?”
The guilt on Acantha's face had me backing down internally. I never wanted her to take on the responsibility for my life and how it had turned out. I blamed my parents solely for that. If they hadn't wanted me, they should have handed me off to someone else rather than make my life miserable. Unfortunately, would haves, could haves and should haves were pointless. The past was the past and I had to stop looking back. It was very obviously getting me nowhere.
“I'm sorry. I'm just...” I took a deep breath and looked down at the food in front of me, its appeal fading. “I have the chance to finally live, and I want to. That includes making my own decisions. For my whole life, it’s felt like everyone else has been making my choices for me, like I didn't know any better.”
“Then start small,” Alexa said, almost hesitantly at first and picking up steam as her glance met Acantha’s. “You won't be able to do combat training without some kind of strength conditioning. No one is telling you no, just asking for you to take it slowly. Baby steps.”
Turning to Alexa, I found my smile again. “Well, when you put it like that... When can we start?”
“We'll start a running schedule in the morning,” Zander said, folding his arms and leaning against the counter. “There's a small homemade gym in one of the barns and we can start your other training in there. It's not going to be easy.”
“I don't want easy.”
“That's the first step mastered.” He grinned, dropping his arms. “A week or two of that, and you can start the mental training to translocate.”
“Why so long?”
“Translocating between dimensions is mostly done through will, but I can assure you that the shift takes a lot out of you when you’re learning. Having some strength to fall back on will help. Strength is all part of the training. Once you learn to push through the veil once, passing back and forth will be much easier, but the ease of execution is very much dependent on your willpower and your natural ability,” Zander answered, stealing a noodle and throwing his head back to drop it in his mouth.
My shoulders sagged. Willpower, I had plenty of, but fortitude wasn't something that came easily after years of being medicated and stuck in a corner when I decided it was a good time to have it. It was going to take me a while to get out of the mindset of victimization and shying away from trying. However, this new life was something I wanted, and fighting for something gave me purpose – something I hadn't had in a long time.
With all the food for thought, I found it difficult to sleep that night. After sleeping for so long after my confrontation with Damon, my brain seemed to ping into wakefulness, even as my body sank into the mattress below me. My thoughts circled aimlessly for hours until I found myself waking up in the predawn glow of the room.
My determination awakened. For almost two weeks following that first night, I pushed my body to its limits. I started the morning with a run that seemed to get longer every day following it. Zander would run effortlessly beside me, barely breaking a sweat, while I bitched and moaned, panting and wheezing by the time we got back to the farmhouse. Zander took great pleasure in playing the drill sergeant, alternating between motivational quips and antagonizing challenges that pushed me harder.
By the second week, I was keeping pace with him, complaining less and pushing my body harder until I silently crashed through the wall that screamed for me to stop.
My afternoons were filled with more strenuous limits in which I coerced my muscles to comply – weightlifting, chin-ups, push-ups and laughing until my stomach hurt. Alexa and Zander were so competitive, it was amazing we actually got anything done at all. Even so, I found myself growing stronger muscle to replace the fat that had been there for the last seven years. It didn't seem to matter that I fell into my bed at the end of the day in exhaustion, just to get up and start it all again the next morning. Mainly because I had a purpose and the drive to get it done. I had made the decision to do this and I was putting everything I had into making the training happen.
My evenings were really the only time I had to think. The television was usually playing quietly in one of the rooms of the house, while I curled up by the fire in another room, reading through the tome Acantha had given me. There was still a small skeptical part of me that questioned some of the things I read, but my mind had started to absorb it. I asked questions about certain things and was given answers that seemed to bring it all together. The only thing I still wasn't informed about was the prophecy and how they'd managed to associate me with the role of the mother.
The questions I asked mostly brought me back to discovering my path on my own, but even halfway through reading the book and taking notes on the side, I hadn't found an answer to this elu
sive mystery that seemed to be my life to date.
Over the course of two weeks, I had only seen Damon once every other day, and even then he seemed to scowl at the effort I was making, as though he didn't agree with my decisions. We tried to talk those first couple of times, but my anger was still been aimed at him and my parents, so our exchanges turned into a snarky-growling match, neither of us backing down. It was only in the second week that we finally had a human conversation. We managed to find a common ground that didn't evoke anger or disagreements about my future.
Instead, we talked about our childhoods. I loved reminiscing about the happy times from my life. Most of them included him anyway. By the time he left at the end of each day, I was in a much better place, but it always led my thoughts to the past and his disappearance, to the feelings I couldn’t seem to find a box for. The more I thought about it, the more the implication of his not having an excuse nagged like a festering wart on my ass that I couldn't seem to scratch. I could understand his need to be loyal to a man that ultimately saved him and gave him a life. I would have been inclined to do the same, but what bothered me was that he claimed he’d had no choice.
Even with fealty to the king, I would have needed to at least let Damon know I was alive and well, just to put his mind at ease. It would have pissed me off to not have any information but at least I would have known he was safe, and I wouldn't have spent half my life wondering if he was dead. Proof of life didn't seem like too much to ask. Unfortunately, when I had the audacity to ask that question, all I got in return was a glare and his stony silence.
Apart from all of the training and learning, there was no escape from my attraction for the insufferable man. It felt more than unrequited whenever he was intent on treating me like his ward rather than his childhood friend when he observed my efforts. Damon’s only concession to his duty was to talk about us as children. Beyond that, he was the very picture of the perfect soldier. His eyes constantly followed me about as though he expected something to jump out at me, which was completely ridiculous.
“You know, I think you're ready to start translocation training,” Alexa declared as we both emerged from the barn, sweaty and exhausted from a training session. My eyes had found Damon in one of the farmhouse windows, vigilantly watching us cross the dirt track to the house.
“Really?” I asked, almost bouncing as I pulled my attention away from the window to look at her.
“Really. You've been hell-bent on your training. I talked to Acantha and Zander, and we all think that now's the time. If you're willing, that is.”
The fatigue from my grueling day of physical activity seemed to melt away in the face of my excitement. From the size of Alexa's grin, I’d say she'd noticed, too. Of course, my sudden change in emotion brought Damon from his post and out the door, his eyes roaming the distant tree line as he looked for God knows what.
“Oh, look. The happy police have arrived,” Alexa mumbled under her breath, having noticed Damon as I had. “Crack a smile and he's on hand to destroy it.”
“Give him a break.”
Alexa's groan made me realize my mistake a moment too late. It didn't matter if I agreed with her assessment or even had the same thought only seconds before. If someone said a negative word against him, my first response was to defend him. Half the time I wasn't even aware I was doing it. Maybe it came from years of protecting one another as kids, but even I called bullshit on that one. I knew better. If I wasn't more cautious about my reactions, everyone else would know how much I was lying to myself about how I felt for him.
“Stop defending him, Cass. The man’s only ever happy when you're miserable.”
“My question is why is he here?” I asked. “I mean... That was rude, but you know what I mean. When he’s here he just stands there, eyes darting about the place. I get that you guys think I'm this prophetic savior, but you said that not many people know about that, and let’s face it, we're not really a hundred percent on that, are we? So why is he here protecting something that doesn't want, or need, to be protected?”
“Peace of mind?”
“That's the best you can come up with?” I asked, releasing all of the air in my lungs.
“That depends. Are you ever going to stop asking questions I can't answer?”
The two of us stood facing off with one another for a second before bursting into laughter. She was used to my questions after weeks of being my constant companion, just as I was used to her shutting me down. It was a game we both played. I was hoping one day she would slip, but she hadn't yet. Not once.
“What happened?” Damon asked, stopping in front of us, retreating a step when our heads turned in perfect synchronization to look at him.
“Why does something have to have happened?” Alexa asked, planting her hands on her hips as her body followed in the direction she'd turned her head. She was a force to be reckoned with and I could see Damon attempting not to roll his eyes at her hostility.
“You know what I mean.”
“We're training for translocation tomorrow. If you'd like to join us as something for Cass to focus on, it would be helpful. Put your sentry skills to good use for once.”
“I'm here to protect her,” Damon replied coldly, his eyes flickering to scan me.
“I don't–” I started, only to be cut off by Alexa.
“Great job you're doing, Damon. You're making it really difficult for her to relax in any capacity while you hover over her like a vulture with your hostile glare and incessant need to kill any fun to be had.”
“Alexa, that's–” I started, only to be cut off by Damon’s response.
“Excuse me for doing my job. It's not like you take yours seriously.”
“That's not–” I tried again, but it was pointless. Alexa was already responding.
“Fuck off, Damon. You're like the Grim fucking Reaper around here...”
I didn't stay to listen to the rest of the argument. Stepping away from them both, I walked to the house. Neither of them noticed I'd gone as they went at one another’s throats. Acantha was leaning against the door, watching with an amused smile on her face.
“They fight because they both care,” she said kindly.
“Oh, sure. I noticed.”
Acantha laughed and reached for my hand, squeezing it gently. “Both of them want to keep you safe, but neither of them is willing to agree that the other is good enough at their job to do it. That's why they argue.”
“Well, if it’s up to me I’ll be able to look after myself soon enough,” I said, throwing my thumb over my shoulder at them and grinning. “Because if they haven't even noticed I'm gone yet, what hope do I have?”
Acantha's musical laughter filled the space as her arm linked through mine to lead us into the kitchen. “Maybe you should go hide and teach them both a real lesson.”
It was my turn to laugh. They both deserved to have the panic, but at the same time, I didn't want Alexa to put off my training in order to teach me a lesson in responsibility, something I wouldn’t put past her. So I sat in the kitchen obediently with Acantha and Zander, my excitement at what was coming simmering under my skin.
Trials and Tribulations
It was the crack of dawn and the sun was barely visible on the horizon. Amongst the trees I could hear the birds beginning to pick up their exuberant songs. We’d made our way through the fields in the grey glow of the predawn haze and now we were in the surrounding forest beyond them.
The trees had been gathering dew all night. The bigger leaves had pools of water in their centers. The little droplets of water that seemed to cover every surface easily transferred onto my skin so I was able to take brief glimpses of Damon as he walked close to us amidst the adjacent forests of Mortisali.
It was so peaceful and serene here that I didn't mind the transitions at all. We seemed to be in a forest on either side of the dimensions, one set apart from the other by the vibrancy of the greens. There was no one around but us as we trampled through the und
ergrowth. The atmospheric haze began lifting as the sun touched the horizon, sending an amber glow through the sky. I could see the thin rails of light filtering through the thick trunks of the trees surrounding us, highlighting the dust motes that hung in the air.
According to Alexa, Zander was going to be meeting us in a truck at our destination. We hadn't come together in the truck because my impatience had thoroughly annoyed everyone concerned. I was more than eager to begin my training, and there was no point in hiding it. It wasn’t as though I could have even if I’d tried.
“Where the hell are we going?”
“To the river.”
“What...?” Before I could even get the last of the question out, we broke through the trees.
The clear river was wide and brushed up against its grassy banks. The gentle rush of water made gurgles of sound as it danced between some of the more visible rocks that broke the surface. The river was beautifully ambient in the early morning light. The sun’s rays cast a haze above the surface as it evaporated, and the dew hit the gentle ripples of the water, sending off prisms that shone like diamonds. The lingering cold that hung in the air from the night made me shiver gently, but it wasn't going to deter me from my first lesson. Not when I had a chance to meet with the king and ask him to consider letting me train fully.
There was a time when I would have been terrified of the sight before me, but having acclimated myself in the shower as much as I could over the last couple of weeks, it gave me a sense of calm. I still wasn’t wild about getting in the water, but I was trying to master my fear by reminding myself constantly that I was safe here.
“Okay, we're going to talk theory for a while. I want to wait for Zander to get here with the truck before you get in that water. It's freezing.”
