by Stock, L. J.
“Hey, when did you get so strong?”
“I'm not stwong, Auntie Cazz. I'm fast like Speed Wacer.”
“Yeah, you are.” I giggled, tickling his sides playfully, losing myself in those last moments I had with him.
“Cass?” Damon said from the door, startling Ollie and me.
I stopped the tickle attack and looked up at him, trying to keep the smile on my lips. He gave me a sympathetic nod and crossed the room, picking up a small box with a little red light on it. It was the baby monitor. I could have hit myself for not checking for that first. Rolling a dial on the side, he waited until the light went out.
“How bad is it?” I sighed as I forced back the lump in my throat.
I could feel Ollie's eyes on me, and when I looked at him, he tilted his head to the side with curiosity at my sudden change in mood. I knew I had to leave and let them get through this, but the thought of saying goodbye was killing me.
“Why are you cwying?” Ollie asked with his childish innocence.
I fiercely wiped at the tears escaping the corners of my eyes and forced a smile for Ollie. “Because I have to go now.”
“Why? We is supposed to be playing. You pwomised.”
“I know, but I have to go home, kiddo.” I wasn't about to explain all of this to a child of four. I sat up on the floor and pulled Ollie against me as I stood. His tiny arms circled my neck as he moved himself closer, and I battled for control. I fought back the desperate sobs as I squeezed him back.
I made my way into the living room with my delicate package and found my brother and sister-in-law watching for me intently. They knew I'd have to go soon. They'd heard my goodbye to Ollie as he slept and now it was time for my goodbyes to them, and they wouldn't be any easier.
“I love you, Ollie,” I whispered into his hair as I pressed my lips to the crown of his head. In my mind I begged him not to forget me, but that was a request I would never say out loud.
“I love you too, Auntie Cazz. Don't cwy.” His little hands patted my back as I squeezed him again and tried to rein in the tears. I put him on the floor and gave him a watery wink as I moved to Liana.
“I love you, Lee. Look after Steven for me,” I whispered.
“I will.” She sobbed, pulling me tighter so her baby bump pushed against me. “My boys will always know who you are, and they'll know you loved them enough to let go of them.”
“You're having another boy?” I wailed, burying my head into the crook of her neck. She nodded into my shoulder and sniveled loudly.
“I'm having a girl, but then you knew that. The prophecy doesn't leave much room for a surprise,” I said sarcastically through my tears.
“The second one will be a surprise,” Liana said, giving off a watery laugh and wiping the tears from her eyes.
“What second one?”
“Just wait and see.” She sighed, handing me off to my brother.
His arms came around me like bars of steel, solid and steadfast as they always had been. He pulled me to him in one swift move, stealing my breath away. The ferocity of his hug only made me emotional again. I was used to his hugs, but this was a goodbye. There was no doubt about it. Everything about it was filled with finality.
The unfairness of the situation washed over me like a tsunami and drowned me in a sea of emotion. I loved my brother, but I had to keep them safe.
“How do we get in touch with you in an emergency?” Steven asked Damon.
“Steve...”
“I mean what if they come after us?” he added under his breath.
I looked at Damon for an answer. I knew that my father and Acantha would have a guard watching over my brother’s family, but I wasn't sure of the protocol if they were discovered. I needed to know they would be safe if something happened.
“I can give you a number. They will help you should anything go wrong, and they will notify me,” Damon said quietly, his eyes flickering to me.
Steven nodded, but said no more while Liana gave Damon her cell phone and Damon typed in the number, adding Alexa's name at the top. Something inside of me felt better knowing they could get ahold of her if necessary. When he handed it back, the air in the room almost stopped moving between us.
My head started to pound painfully as I realized this was it. I wouldn't see them again unless something went terribly wrong. I hoped they would always be safe, but the chance of crossing paths again was remote. The pain was physical and made it hard to breathe. I had to leave before I changed my mind and jeopardized them all.
“Thank you for being an amazing brother.” I whimpered and stepped out of Steven's grasp. “I love you.”
“Love you too, kid,” he said, tears welling in his eyes as he picked up his son. The image of him crying pushed me toward the door with more fervor. I looked back at the small family now clinging to one another and closed my eyes, trying to imprint them on the back of my eyelids so I would always have this moment to remember, and then, trembling with emotion, I stepped out of the door.
I stumbled across the porch, but Damon's strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me into his side. He led me down the steps and out into the street toward the place I would translocate from. I looked at the house one last time and stifled the sob breaking in my chest.
“Come on,” Damon said quietly, his voice filled with echoing sadness. “Let’s get you home.”
I nodded and let him lead me away from my brother, his family and my last connection with them.
Rumors
I was moping. From the moment I’d landed back in the farmhouse, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to gather up the energy to meet with my father for dinner. I just wanted to find a corner and stay there until the pain went away. My mother was nowhere to be found, and I could only assume she’d gone to Steven and Liana to comfort them. The only comfort I had was Damon, who was sitting across the room, watching me with concern etched into his handsome features. His company was enough to keep me from crying hysterically, but nothing could to stop the constant tracks of tears as they rolled down my cheeks and dropped to my knees.
“Should I speak with your father about postponing the meal?” Damon asked in a soothing tone. He was leaning forward in the chair now, his elbows on his knees as he waited for a reaction from me.
“Thank you, but I need the distraction.”
Damon nodded in agreement and disappeared into the bathroom to start drawing a bath. He seemed almost as unenthusiastic about the situation as I felt. The last thing I wanted to do was sit at a formal table in an unforgiving dress and pretend that all was right with the world, but it was a good lesson in diplomacy. No one was going to put the war on hold for me, so I needed to attend to business as usual.
Damon left me with the ladies in waiting and a promise to return to walk down to dinner with me.
I took a long soak in the bath to ease my muscles, and once I climbed out, I let the ladies do their thing as I strummed on an old guitar. Having a computer of my own at the farmhouse, I'd found a new appreciation for music, and I now had a decent collection that included acoustic guitar solos. It was helping to distract me; my fingers were occupied, while my mind focused on the chords. I didn’t play well, but music had been used as therapy in the hospital and it helped me focus when I was overwhelmed by emotion.
“What is this?” I asked, my fingers stilling on the strings of the guitar. I’d been playing the intro to Heart’s Crazy On You, but was now staring at the dress Melody was holding. It was completely different from most of the other dresses I’d worn while I was here. It was a particularly evil looking torture device disguised as a beautiful, if not intimidating, dress.
“It's an evening gown, Milady.” She grinned with appreciation. Her mood had been subdued since I’d arrived, almost as though she’d picked up on my solemnity. Fortunately, she also knew my aversion to dresses but never took offense to it. They were always stunningly beautiful and I was the first to admit that, but it was huge.
For a moment, I
was able to forget the afternoon’s misery. All of my brainpower was now focused on the dress Melody was holding up, which was dark red with enormous skirts, and it was low cut to boot.
“Is that…Is that a headdress?” I was appalled.
Melody looked nervous about answering. It wasn't the first time I had complained about something she'd put me in, and she knew my propensity to rant when it was something I really didn’t want to do. It was just unfortunate that I was in a piss poor mood and wallowing with it. I had to swallow back the expletives and take a breath. I knew she was just picking through what she had to work with, and a gentle cluck from Penthea’s tongue had me catching my mistake.
“I'm sorry. It’s beautiful, it truly is, Mel. It's just different. I’ve never really been the ball gown type of girl, and this looks like torture in satin, but I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“I understand, and I can look for something else if you like. The king just requested the color red this evening.”
To her credit, Melody offered me a smile as an acceptance to my apology. She was always proper and stuck to protocol, and around the other two it was amplified further. The moment passed between us silently and I was fine with that. The only mystery was why my father, the king, had made a request regarding my attire.
“He requested red? Why?” I asked on a sigh.
Swallowing, Melody looked after the other two women who had disappeared into the bathroom. It looked as though she was checking whether or not they were out of earshot. When satisfied, she looked back at me with excited eyes.
“Between you and me, I think the king has a guest for dinner. Other than you, I mean,” she said quietly, obviously realizing she was breaking some rule.
“Do you know who?” I whispered in response, keeping up the pretense.
“No, Milady.”
“Well thanks for the warning. I guess you must know by now how I hate surprises. You probably just saved me from a lot of frustration.”
Melody nodded and smiled, tight-lipped now that the other two had rejoined us. I was appreciative for her letting me know what was going on, and armed with this information, I could go into dinner and be prepared for the stranger that I was undoubtedly being introduced to. I wasn’t sure who this mystery guest was, but at least it was a distraction that would help keep me away from obsessively thinking about leaving my family behind.
I made my way down the stairs to meet Damon in the dress I’d fought so hard to avoid, which was as uncomfortable as I’d deduced it would be. The long, deep red satin had a train that I was careful not to stand on as I descended the Grand Staircase. For my sanity, I had implored him to meet me there rather than outside of my room from now on. I’d grown to adore Melody, but her flirtation with Damon created a jealousy in me I wasn’t able to contain.
As always, he was waiting for me, leaning against the far wall, watching as the staff bustled through the Great Hall. He was in his informal uniform of a white shirt and forest green uniform pants, and looked as glorious as ever. I wasn’t sure how they managed to get a color that seemingly suited all of these guards, but no matter who I ran into, they all looked quite handsome in both their formal and informal uniforms. No one looked as good as Damon, though. My heart ached as I watched him fidget, but I only had a second to correct myself before he looked up with a sad smile as I finished the last of my descent.
“Look at you,” he finally said, holding out his arm for me to take.
I curtsied politely, trying to find my enthusiasm. “Thank you, sir. It's my first go around in an evening dress. Yet something tells me the gown they'll be dressing me in when they officiate my status is going to kill me.”
“Maybe you should choose one from your dimension. Show them how it's done,” he whispered playfully. I really didn’t think it was that bad of an idea. There were a lot of differences, though, and I wasn’t sure how that would work out.
“Wouldn't that be scandalous? We show a lot more skin in our dimension than you do here.”
“You should talk to the king. You know he's more than happy to oblige any of your whims.”
“Shut up,” I hissed, finally breaking a smile and taking the arm he offered when we walked toward the royal wing of the palace. “He's my father, who I barely know. You know he's just compensating for the years he’s missed. I hate that he agrees to everything I ask for. I feel like I'm getting too much for free.”
“Well, girls do wrap their dads around their little fingers. I guess this is no exception,” Damon reasoned, tilting his head to the side with a smile.
“You're such a jackass,” I said playfully, shaking the curls that were falling over my shoulders. “So, do you know anything about this guest the king has invited to dine with us?”
Damon's whole body went rigid with the question. His hand covered mine on his arm, but he kept his silence and continued walking. I suspected he knew something. He had to. His reaction said so much more than he ever could have. Whatever was going on, he knew I wouldn’t like it.
“Damon?”
“I don't know. I've been with you all afternoon. If something was decided, it was while we were together.”
I only had to look at him to see he was telling the truth, but that didn't explain the sudden tension. He was on edge now and the pretense he’d been keeping to cheer me up was completely gone. I wasn't sure what the problem was.
All I could do was stare at him in his frustrated silence, part of me wishing that he would stop shutting me out. I wanted more. Always more. I honestly didn't know how to shut that part of myself down. When it was quiet and he and I simply talked, the wanting became an ache inside of me. I was always starving for more, while he never seemed to notice. He was a hard ass when we were training. I couldn't deny that, but I appreciated it, because it made me push harder, and it was in those moments when he would let his guard down with me, that I felt like I wasn’t so very alone in the way I longed for him.
“What's bothering you?” I finally asked when the silence became too much. We had already turned down the corridor to the king's personal chambers and we were running out of time to talk. The closer we got to the king’s location, the thicker the guard on the adjoining doors would be.
“Nothing,” he answered through a forced smile.
“You realize this falls under the jurisdiction of no lies, right?”
Damon finally gave me a genuine smile and shook his head as we headed into the area that had guards at every door. The closer we got to the king’s suite, the harder I seemed to find it to breathe. The afternoon’s misery and saying goodbye to one of the most important people in my family was finally catching up with me and I needed air.
Gripping my sternum, I glanced at Damon again.
“I need air. I know we’re running late, but I just… I need a minute.”
There was a part of me that knew Damon would never deny me anything, and as his eyes flickered down the large hall to the door that enclosed the dining room the king was in, he nodded and stepped to one of the other guards. He muttered something quietly to him before guiding me through a corridor I’d never been down before, and out into the king’s personal gardens. There was a knee-high hedgerow maze taking up most of the space, the paths all covered with gravel that the train of my skirts picked up and rustled behind me as I walked. Neither of us said much, but we didn’t need to.
“Are you okay?” Damon finally asked after what felt like an eternity.
Tipping my head in his direction, I smiled and nodded. “I just needed to catch my breath.”
We strolled past the boundaries of the gardens in silence, and as the giggles of some of the court ladies came from the other side, I slowed with a grin at Damon. These were the daughters of the nobles, and I’d never had chance to experience them without their knowledge that I was the princess. It was something that made me curious.
“You know why he’s here, of course?” the first woman asked, her tone dignified, as though she was speaking down her n
ose at the others.
“We all know why he’s here, Bethania. He’s been waiting for that invitation for years.”
My curiosity was piqued, but Damon’s eyes narrowed at the tall greenery as though it had offended him.
“My mother seems to think there will be a wedding sooner rather than later. The baron’s father had discussions with the king as soon as it was rumored he had a daughter. While it was still a rumor! Can you imagine how desperate he must have been?”
“His father was dying, Reah. Not that it matters. The princess doesn’t have much of a choice now. To find a noble with two dominant elements of any kind is a bit of a stretch.”
I retreated from Damon and the women, stumbling as I stood on the train of my dress. An arranged marriage? Was that really what they were talking about? My arranged marriage! Anger and fury mixed with the grief that had lodged itself in my chest, and expanded into a monster with two heads. I needed to talk to my father immediately and get to the bottom of this rumor, and my dress be damned if it thought it was going to stop me from getting where I was headed. In fact, I pitied anyone and anything who tried to get in my way.
Pulling up the weighty material of the dress, I spun on my heels, running over the gravel with a determined crunch underfoot. The cold night air burned in my lungs with unshed tears as I barreled toward the visible patio doors to the king’s dining room.
Unfortunately, Damon caught up with me easily, given he was unhindered by a dress that weighed almost as much as he did, and he stepped straight into my path. I knew what he was trying to do. It seemed, in addition to his role as a bodyguard, he’d also been assigned to placate me before I reached my final destination. He wasn't going to talk me out of this, however. Not this time.
“Cass, it's locked.”
I gave him a glare and changed my course, heading toward the front of the palace where I knew the guards would have to let me in. I was no damsel in distress. I didn’t need saving, and I sure as hell didn’t want to be stopped, so I sprinted toward the door, using all of my newfound strength to push myself and the extra weight I was carrying. Hopping over the small shrubs, I gripped onto the dress and tugged when the stupid train got caught on stray branches in my path.
