by B. T. Narro
She was right, but that didn’t matter because I did know him. “Shara, you’re not going to convince me to send my only friend away, so can we please just go to sleep?” I turned, figuring she would follow. But when she didn’t move, it occurred to me that I’d just accidentally disavowed Shara as my friend. “I didn’t mean—”
“Forget it,” she snapped. “And I do mind if you share my blanket.”
I wanted to remind her that it was actually my blanket—both were mine. I tried to think of something more agreeable I could say to resolve this tension between us, but nothing came. I wasn’t sure I wanted to share a blanket with her right now anyway. Both of us were silent as we noticed Eizle walking toward us. I had a sour feeling he’d heard everything.
“I’d like to say something.” Eizle’s tone was foreboding. “I’ve been a hunter of despair.” I didn’t know what he meant, but as he heaved a great sigh, I realized he was apologizing. “The last year has been, ah, well it’s changed me. Neeko, I remember the river, but when I think back to that time, I see someone else in my memories. That boy is still in me somewhere, but I’m not sure I can reach him. The present is making the memory of our friendship teeter. I don’t want to let it fall, which it would if I left now. I want to fix it. Shara, I’m not sure if I scared you earlier, but I meant no harm. I’ve been hungry for so long that I’ve forgotten the feeling of being full. It’s made me not myself. I hope we can be friends and reach Glaine together. If you want, I can leave in the morning. You and Neeko have made it this far. You don’t need me.”
“Aww,” Shara muttered. “You don’t need to go. I know what it’s like to be hungry for long stretches. It does change us. Tomorrow we’ll hunt and gather, the three of us.”
“Thank you, Shara. Do you need help with the fire?”
“No, it’s fine. You seem tired. Please rest.”
“Thank you, I will.”
After Eizle left, I asked Shara if she felt better.
“I do,” she whispered.
“I was going to say that we are friends. I didn’t mean to imply that we aren’t.”
She tilted her head. I figured she was grinning, but it was too dark to tell. “Shara has never been good friends with a boy before.”
“Oh, we’re good friends?” I teased.
She let out an exaggerated scoff. “Since you only have two, I’d hope both are close enough to be called ‘good.’ ”
“What about very good?”
“What does Neeko think?”
“It depends if he gets to share your dry blanket.”
“Only if he thanks Shara for her generosity.”
“Thank you.”
She started to say something but stopped. Did she mean with a kiss on the cheek? She didn’t lean her face in front of me like last time. It was too late anyway. We already were walking back.
Soon the fire was lit and we were cuddled beside it in the blanket I’d lent Shara. We didn’t speak throughout the night. My arm remained draped over her, but my inability to sleep came back strong. I felt the heat from the fire slowly fading as I struggled to relax. Shara awoke when I sat up to feed the fire.
“You don’t need to,” she whispered. “I'm warm enough without it.”
“I can’t sleep anyway. Might as well.” The sounds of the fire helped block out my worries about how different Eizle was than I remembered. His apology helped Shara see his gentler side, but it didn’t do anything for me because I’d already known that existed. I was looking for…I guess I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking for in him. But I hadn’t found it yet. Maybe it was some piece of what we used to have. I needed him to be my friend again, and so far he was too different for me to call him one.
Soon the fire was roaring. I let my thoughts go as I lay beside Shara, keeping my hands to myself, with great difficulty, so as not to wake her. Eventually I could feel myself slipping into slumber.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
I counted the days as soon as I awoke. We’re on day thirty of the fourth month. I got my scroll on the twentieth. So it had been ten nights. Five more days including this one…it didn’t seem like enough time, especially if the scrolls expired at the beginning of the fifteenth day instead of the end, which wasn’t clear.
“Shara, how close are we to Glaine compared to when we left?”
“Is it morning?” Apparently, she’d rather ask me than open her eyes to see for herself.
“Just about.”
She rubbed her eyes, then peeked one open. “We’re a little less than halfway there.”
“We’ve only gone halfway in ten nights?”
“Less than half. But we didn’t have horses for the first forty miles. And we were delayed.” She blindly reached up toward my face, nearly sticking her finger up my nose if I hadn’t tilted back. She patted my chest when she found it. “We’re going to make it. The riding should be easy from here. We’ll reach Antilith before the end of the day. Let me sleep another moment.”
But Eizle was sitting up, the usual cold look in his eyes. When his glance shifted over to me, he smiled, but his eyes didn’t change. I smiled back, feeling the same lack of sincerity that I could see on his face.
“Shara, wake up.” Eizle’s voice had no sympathy. “We’re on top of the mountain now.”
Another metaphor that did nothing but confuse me. At least I hoped he meant it as a metaphor, otherwise he was completely insane.
Shara grumbled, then sat up and blinked at me, her hair a wild mess. I didn’t know what to tell her.
“Get ready to ride,” Eizle said as he started off somewhere.
I shrugged at Shara’s disagreeing face. “The sooner we start the day, the sooner we can eat.” It was about the only thing I was looking forward to in that moment.
“What’s he doing?” Shara pointed at Eizle, who was now climbing a tree. Unsure myself, I watched him go up and up, grabbing branches and pulling himself higher with each breath I took. I’d forgotten how skilled he was at climbing when we were young. It put a smile on my face to see it again. But then I frowned when I realized what he was doing up there. He stopped and looked to the south, back where we’d come from. I didn’t want to say it aloud in hopes Shara hadn’t figured it out.
But I could see by the drop of her jaw that she’d realized the same thing I had.
“He’s checking to see if we’re being followed,” she said. “And you still think he wasn’t in prison?”
I had no answer I wanted to give.
We both gasped as he floated down from the tree with his arms and legs spread out like a bird. He sank all the way to the ground, leaning back at the last moment to land on his feet. Shara and I were speechless.
Eizle tilted his head when he saw us gawking. “You can't do that, Neeko?”
Then I realized what I’d just seen. “Gods, that was pyforial energy!” I’d never thought to lift myself with it before. The amount of power and focus required—it didn’t seem possible.
“Two hells, pyforial mages can fly?” If Shara was tired before, she was wide awake now.
Eizle shrugged. “I don't know about other mages, but I can’t really fly. It takes too much out of me to lift and guide my body. Floating isn’t too much stress, though.”
I needed to try. I lay flat and attempted to get py under my thighs and upper torso by tilting one way and then the other. But as soon as I straightened out, my body pushed away the py I’d gathered beneath me.
“You have to fall onto it,” Eizle instructed.
“Oh.” I stood and readied a flat bed of py at my shins. I held it as tightly as I could, then extended my arms and fell chest first. I couldn’t help wince and close my eyes, wanting to put out my hands as I picked up speed. But the force of them would push the energy apart. I needed to spread my mass if this was going to work.
I figured it wouldn’t feel great to fall against a thick sheet of py, but when I slammed into it I groaned in pain. It hurt far worse than I imagined, just like my fac
e and chest had crashed straight into the ground.
Shara was laughing when I opened my eyes and realized that crashing into the ground was exactly what I’d done.
“Did you forget to hold the energy?” Eizle asked.
“I must’ve lost my focus while I was falling, and it came apart.”
“It took me weeks of practice. And that was just to hover. Moving somewhere, even straight up, is much harder.”
“You could’ve warned me...”
Shara changed into the only other clothes she had, a dress—the same one she had on when she came to Aunt Nann’s door. It was wrinkled but clean, just like the shirt I changed into. Eizle left on his dirty pants and oversized shirt. I didn’t know if he had anything else.
We didn’t speak much until it was time to hunt, and even then all we did was discuss who would do what. I was given the menial task of watching everyone’s horses, while Shara and Eizle split up to hunt and gather.
I’d heard my share of stories over the years, more so when I was still living with my mother and she used to read to me. In situations like this, the hero would be tested—when he already had journeyed and grown some, and now his skills would be put to use. A monstrous thing would emerge from the shadows, either a vicious creature or a man of unrivaled evil, and the hero would fend it off, learning something about himself in the process, a discovery of power.
Nothing came.
I was glad, for I was no hero. All I’d done so far was fail, with both my parents, with Callyn, with thieves, and I already could feel myself failing with Eizle. He’d nearly killed the terrislak on his own. I bet he could’ve found a way to save Callyn had he been in my position, and he certainly wouldn’t have let his father’s body remain in his burning house.
Since I’d left Lanhine, I hadn’t trained with pyforial energy at all. I needed to get back to my routine of a practicing an hour before sleep. The red priest and his army were still out there. It might even have been the same army that stormed past us to the north, when Shara and I argued about my money, when two of the swordsmen tried to steal from me. I wouldn’t recognize them if I saw them again, but I figured the flying spiders punished them enough anyway.
Punishment and redemption, everything in my life these days involved the two. Punishment to the wicked and redemption for the deserving. What did Eizle want? He’d always been keen on justice when we were younger. By the look of his cold eyes, this was one thing that hadn’t changed. Did he seek redemption like me, though? Did he repent for something?
He came back before Shara carrying two lifeless squirrels by their tails, their necks clearly broken, probably with pyforial energy at a distance, as he didn’t have a bow. In his other hand was a cloth folded into a pouch that looked to be holding acorns. We had a fire going soon after.
“What will you be doing in Glaine?” I asked him.
“Looking for someone.”
“Who?”
“A woman.”
I still wasn’t used to him being so curt. It made me appreciate how Shara could talk for minutes at a time.
“The one you mentioned earlier?” I asked.
“Yes, Kayren.”
“You met her in Cessri?”
“Yes.”
Gods, this was like searching for coins in the lake, dive after dive hoping for the dalion only to come up with nothing but a ruff here and there. Still, I pushed on.
“Why’d she leave?”
“Have you been in love?”
“No.”
He rapped his fingers on the back of his hand. “If I remember right, you were never as vengeful as I was when we were younger. Has this changed?”
“Somewhat.”
“There’s something I need to do in Glaine.” Eizle stared into the fire as he spoke. “I’d rather not tell you what because I know you’ll want to help, but you’re the only friend I have. I couldn’t let you. It’s too dangerous.”
“You have to tell me now.”
“I won’t!”
Gods, he’d actually shouted at me.
A tear fell from his eye. Without a word, he left our camp. I figured he just didn’t want me to see him cry. I wished he would tell me more. Not being able to help hardly felt different than hurting him.
Shara came running. “What was that? Where’s Eizle?”
“Everything’s fine. He just went to relieve himself,” I lied.
She set down a plump porcupine.
“Nice catch.” I started to cut away its partially charred hide. I’d prepared enough carcasses over the years that I knew exactly how to remove the intestines on just about any animal. There wasn’t a lot of difference between them, but there certainly was a good amount of technique involved.
“What were you arguing about with Eizle?”
I looked over my shoulder to check if I could see him. “I asked what he’ll do in Glaine,” I whispered.
“Let me guess. He wouldn’t tell you?”
“So you’re no longer trusting him again?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“I hope you’re not thinking about leaving.” When she didn’t answer, I stopped ripping off the porcupine’s hide. “Shara?” She gazed at her lap.
“Could you tell me why you don’t want me to leave?”
“You’ve been incredibly helpful! I don’t know if I would’ve made it even this far without you.”
“Is that it, though?”
“What do you mean? That’s a lot!”
She bounced her legs, still looking away. “Is that the only reason you want Shara to stay?”
“We’re friends.” This didn’t seem to be the answer she was looking for. “What else do you need to hear?”
She ran her fingers through her hair, or tried to. Her hand kept getting snagged on all the tangles. For a long while, we sat in silence as I separated the hide from the flesh. I still had a lot of work ahead to remove the intestines.
“I hope you don’t leave,” I said when I couldn’t handle the silence any longer.
“I don’t think I actually could. Whatever’s going to happen will happen with me as part of it.” She put her hand on her chest for one stiff breath. “Let’s just hope no one is killed.”
“Gods, Shara.” I laughed. “Of course no one’s going to get killed.”
My laughter faded a moment later. There had been so much death already, why did I think it would suddenly stop?
“Everything’s going to be fine,” I said, trying to convince both of us. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
When Eizle came back, he twirled his finger and said, “This is fire.”
“What is fire?” Shara asked.
“The three of us. We are fire. We have to be careful what we do.”
I didn’t quite understand, but I just wanted him to feel comfortable. “All right, Eizle. We’ll be careful.”
“I don’t want anyone getting burned,” he added.
“We don’t, either.”
Eizle nodded with a content smile. “Good.”
Shara looked confused, as I’m sure I did as well.
We found a lake soon after we started riding. We drank and filled our pouches, then rode without stopping until the evening sky turned rosy. I could see a town northwest of us that Shara said to be Antilith, so I turned my horse to ride straight for it.
“This way, Neeko,” she said. “We’re going into the forest east of the city.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t know how to fairith, and, well…” She glanced at Eizle. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t think you’d do so well at it, either.”
Eizle looked to me.
I shrugged. “It’s probably true. Shara knows these things.”
“What does fairith mean?” Eizle asked her.
“It’s a form of civility and the way people conduct business in Antilith. Based on your social rank and the relation you have with the person you’re speaking to, you need to show a ce
rtain degree of deference. If you aren’t humble or polite, it could get you in trouble. And not just a little trouble. You could be hung for disrespecting the wrong noble.”
“I was going to stay in the woods anyway,” Eizle said. “Easier that way.”
“Why don’t we all?” I suggested.
Shara petulantly brushed her hand over her garb. “I need…clothes.”
Undergarments, right.
“We’ll also need some supplies for the long road to Glaine. Another water skin, food so we don’t have to hunt. After tonight, we’re going to have to ride practically without stopping to make it there in time. Can I have four silver, Neeko? I’ll separate what I buy for myself so I know how much to pay you back.”
“Sure.”
We went deep into the forest looking for a spot that was easy enough for Shara to locate again when she returned.
“There are diymas in this forest,” Shara warned us. “But if we remember what Drycer Dalion told his party about them, we should be fine: Watch out for sartious energy—blocks of lime green, translucent and bright, sometimes hard as steel, sometimes light as air. A trace of it could mean we’re encroaching, then we might end up dead within a block of it. These woods don’t belong to us, and they never will.”
“He said these exact words?” I asked.
“Yes, after the first incident.”
“How do you know?”
“Drycer Dalion documented everything he did when he arrived in Sumar. There are many books written about him based on his notes and what others wrote.”
“What incident was there?” Eizle asked. “Was it with diymas?”
“How much do you know about them?”
“I’ve seen drawings,” Eizle said. “They don’t look dangerous.”
“Then you don’t know much,” Shara said. “What about you, Neeko?”
“I know about as much as Eizle.”
“Well Drycer didn’t know much, either. He came here from Greenedge with thousands of men and women. Others who’d sailed east from Greenedge had found Ovira, and Drycer was looking for the same continent. In fact, he thought Sumar was Ovira at first, and that wasn’t the only surprise he faced.” There was a flicker of excitement in her tone.
