by Fern Britton
Loveday’s stomach was rumbling and she needed more than coffee. ‘How hungry are you?’
‘Not at all. I never eat lunch nowadays.’
Loveday’s heart sank. She had been considering a macaroni cheese. She tried her chances. ‘The Fo’c’sle do nice coffee. They’ve put in a team of baristas and everything.’
‘Oh, yes, I’d heard that. OK. See you there.’
*
The new owners had really turned the old place around. Where there had been lines of Formica-topped tables, striplights, and condensation-clouded windows, there were now cosy corner tables, subdued lighting and air conditioning. The hiss and gurgle of the state-of-the-art coffee machine lent the whole place an air of European sophistication. A smart young waitress dressed to look like an early American bartender, with striped waistcoat, white shirt and long apron, welcomed her.
‘Where would you like to sit. Inside or out?’
The spring sunshine was bright and the tables outside in the rear courtyard were inviting with their cushioned chairs and jolly parasols. ‘Outside would be lovely, thank you.’
‘I’ll bring you a menu in a moment.’ The waitress walked back inside and Loveday perused the menu. The macaroni cheese looked so tempting but, fearful of Greer’s disapproval, she settled for a starter-sized portion of smoked salmon.
‘Hi, Loveday. What a glorious day.’ Greer, wearing sunglasses and carrying an enormous leather handbag, was heading towards her. ‘So glad you chose to sit outside. I’ve been cooped up in that huge tank of a car for hours.’ Greer sat elegantly on the chair opposite Loveday and, raising a slender arm in the air, summoned the waitress.
‘Yes, Mrs Behenna, what can I get you?’
Greer looked at her over the top of her Fendi shades. ‘Miri? How lovely to see you. Home from uni?’
‘Yes, just for the Easter holidays.’ The young waitress held her notepad in one hand and searched for her pen, stuck into her straggly bun of hair, with the other. ‘How’s Freddie?’
‘He’s fine. Working on the fishing fleet – and he’s just got on the crew of the lifeboat.’
Miri gave a couple of rapids blinks. ‘The lifeboat? Well done him. I bet he looks good in his uniform.’
‘He certainly does,’ smiled Greer. ‘You should give him a bell.’
‘Do you think so?’
‘Of course. He’d be delighted to hear from you.’
‘Well, in that case, I might … depends how busy I am … Anyway, what can I get you ladies?’
‘Loveday, you first, I’m still choosing,’ said Greer.
‘I’d like the salmon starter and a pot of green tea, please,’ Loveday said with an enthusiasm she did not feel.
The waitress wrote the order down. ‘And for you, Mrs Behenna?’
‘Actually I’m rather hungry. No time for breakfast this morning. I’ll have the macaroni cheese, please, and a skinny latte.’ Loveday couldn’t believe her ears.
‘Well, if you’re having the macaroni, I’ll join you. Thank you.’
‘Great. I’ll be back with the drinks in a minute.’
When Miri had gone, Loveday asked Greer how she knew her. ‘She was at school with the boys. Don’t you remember? Miranda? Her mother lives over at Trevone. Was an actress? I did her conservatory for her. She had a splendid divorce and has plenty of cash.’
‘The one with the suede fringed jacket, blue sports car and the boob job?’
‘That’s the one.’
‘Miri was sweet on your Freddie, wasn’t she?’
‘Very. He used to hide upstairs whenever she called round. Which was frequently.’ Greer laughed.
Loveday did too. ‘And you’ve just set him up again.’
‘She’s turned into an attractive girl. He might thank me.’
Miri arrived with a tray bearing the drinks; as soon as she’d gone again, Greer looked at Loveday. ‘I spoke to Jesse after your call and asked him about this business of giving the boys a car each. And he says he’s serious. He’s always treated them like they’re brothers.’
‘But they’re not brothers,’ Loveday said in a low voice. ‘Mickey and I want Hal to earn his way in the world and not think that whatever Freddie gets, he’ll get too. Life don’t work that way.’
Greer thought for a moment. For once she agreed with Loveday. The boys weren’t brothers and, fond as she was of Hal, Freddie and he were not equals in her eyes. It was all fine when they were little boys, but now they were growing up and it was time for Freddie to move on to bigger and better things. Of course, Freddie loved the relaxed rules at the Chandlers’ house, but it was time that both he and his father thought more ambitiously. If he wanted to buy Hal an old banger, then fair enough, but really his own son deserved something better.
She reached across the table and put her hand on Loveday’s. ‘Darling, I’m sure he’s only going to help Hal out a little bit. It isn’t like it’s a share in the business.’
‘If Hal gets a car, it’ll be an old banger. Remember Jesse’s old Ford Capri?’
‘I do. Filthy smelly thing.’
‘Yeah, but he worked for it and he loved it. He had to look after it because no one was going to buy him another one for the hell of it. You give your Freddie anything you like, but let me and Mick do what’s right for our son.’
Greer pulled the corners of her mouth down and shrugged. ‘Well, in a way I agree with you, but once Jesse has an idea in his head it’s very difficult to shake. I have to pick my battles. But I do understand, and I’ll talk to him.’
*
Jesse was adamant. ‘I want Hal to have the best. He’s a good lad. I’m his godfather and I’m going to get him a car. There’s no need for him to be a second-class citizen.’
Greer poured them each a glass of wine. ‘I don’t know why you feel so strongly about him. He’s a lovely boy and all that, but when it comes down to it, he’s just a godson. You’ve already done quite enough in your role as his father’s best friend. More than enough. He has a good job on the fleet. You’ve got him on the lifeboat and in the next couple of years you’ll give him his own boat to skipper.’ Jesse looked up at her sharply. She raised her hand, palm facing him. ‘I know you’re going to give him his own boat. I do listen to what’s happening in the business, you know. I’m not a fool. But where does your generosity stop?’ She laughed, a light, scoffing laugh. ‘I mean, what are you going to do, give him a share in the company?’
Jesse looked out of the big bay window in the drawing room of Tide House. He could see the cove and the sea beyond. He didn’t answer Greer.
‘Jesse! Tell me you’re not seriously thinking of—’
‘All I’m doing is helping a young boy get on in life.’
‘As long as that’s all?’
Jesse lifted his wine glass and tipped the contents down his throat. ‘What’s for supper?’
*
Later that night, when Greer had gone to bed, Jesse sat alone in his den. The window was open; on the fresh breeze he could hear the waves as they rolled onto the golden sand below the house. Recently he’d been having bad dreams about Grant. Sometimes Grant accused him of murder. Those dreams were the worst. But Jesse knew he hadn’t murdered his own brother. Grant had had a death wish. The injury to his head he’d got when he fell off the cliff into the sea had been what had killed him. Some little weakness in his skull had killed him when they’d scuffled in the bus shelter. I’m not a murderer, Jesse told himself. But, after these dreams, Jesse would feel a tortured sadness. Grant, his own brother, hadn’t been able to take his position in the company. It was Grant’s own fault, of course. He was a destructive headcase. But Jesse still felt tortured with anguish for a brother who was always going to destroy himself. Dying in the shelter like that was inevitable, and Grant was always going to come to a bad end. It was sad. Tragic. But probably best all round. If only Grant had just kept his mouth shut and not said those terrible things. If he hadn’t said anything about Loveday and Hal, he’d st
ill be alive. But he wasn’t, and Loveday and Hal needed protection. Hal deserved what was his by rights. Hal and Freddie were brothers, and if Grant couldn’t share the company with Jesse, then Jesse would make sure that the next generation would. He’d play it carefully. Not let Mickey guess at anything. He didn’t want to break his best mate’s heart, after all. He’d talk to Loveday tomorrow. Tell her how he still felt about her. Tell her that he was going to make sure that he did right by Hal.
34
Lauren popped her head round Loveday’s office door, tying up the soft belt of her lilac mac. ‘Boss wants to see you. I’m off up to Tesco to get a sandwich – want anything?’
Loveday was in the middle of collating that month’s wages, and wrote a number down on her pad so that she remembered where she was. She looked up. ‘Now?’
‘Yes.’
Loveday sighed, blowing her cheeks out. ‘OK.’ She put her hands on her desk and stood up, pushing her chair back at the same time. ‘Could you get me a duck wrap and a packet of crisps?’
She knocked on Jesse’s door and looked in. Jesse was at his desk, on the phone. He motioned for her to sit down. She waited while he wound the call up.
He smiled at her. ‘You look nice, Loveday.’
She gave him a small frown and pulled her chin in with suspicion. ‘Uh-oh. What do you want?’
‘Nothing.’ He gave her an appraising look which made her feel a bit uncomfortable.
‘Jesse, if I’ve done something wrong, just say it.’
‘You ain’t done nothing wrong. I thank my lucky stars every day that I got you downstairs sorting out the company. Honest as the day is long, aren’t you?’
‘Yeeees,’ she said, cocking her head to one side questioningly. ‘So Lauren said you wanted to see me?’
‘It’s about Hal’s present.’
Loveday relaxed. ‘Oh, good. Has Greer spoken to you? Only Mickey and I can’t accept …’
He held his hands up to shush her. ‘I understand all your objections, but I can’t accept them. I want to buy Freddie a car for his birthday and I can’t do that without buying Hal one too.’
Loveday was getting fed up. ‘You can and you will. Mickey and I will buy Hal a car. He won’t go wanting.’
Jesse leant back in his chair with an air of one who knew he would win out in the end. ‘No offence, but the car you and Mickey can afford won’t be up to much, will it?’
Loveday had had enough and said so. ‘When did you turn into such a pompous prick? His dad and I will buy Hal a car and he’ll love it because he’s not a spoilt brat.’
Jesse gave a rueful smile. ‘I take it from that that you’re insinuating Freddie is? I don’t think Greer will be too happy to hear her best friend describe her only son like that.’
Loveday stood up, hot with anger. ‘I’m not saying that. You’ve every right to buy your son whatever you want to buy him, but—’
Jesse’s face lost its humour and he looked at Loveday with deadly earnest. ‘Freddie isn’t my only son, is he?’
Loveday’s legs gave way and she sat down again. ‘Jesse, I’ve told you time and again. Hal is Mickey’s son. Not yours.’
‘I don’t believe you. I never have. I went along with your little deception for all these years, but now … well, Hal’s his own person and he has a right to know.’
Loveday’s heart was beating fast and her breathing was uneven. She said as clearly as she could: ‘Hal is not your son. He is Mickey’s.’
Jesse smiled. ‘I don’t want to upset the apple cart by telling everyone the truth. I just want you to let me help him. A car, a boat – mebbe a house when the time is right. Just the same as I’ll do for Freddie. After all, he was conceived before Fred, so Hal is actually my number one son.’
‘Shut up.’ Loveday stood again.
‘I am trying to be reasonable and do the right thing. He deserves what’s rightfully his. Just as Grant did. But it was Grant’s own fault that I got what should have been his.’
‘Shut your mouth. Have you gone mad?’ For a moment, Loveday saw something in his face, something that reminded her of Grant with his bullying and threats.
Jesse twisted his leather chair from side to side. His hands folded on his chest. ‘What shall we do, then? We could get all Jeremy Kyle about it and I could demand a DNA test, or you could just keep things as they are and let me look after my boys equally.’
Loveday could feel the threat of tears stinging her eyes. She looked at him in anguish. ‘Please,’ she whispered, ‘please don’t do this. He’s my son. Mickey’s son.’
There was a knock on the office door and Lauren came in bearing a Tesco bag. ‘There you are – duck wrap and crisps.’ She handed the bag to the white-faced Loveday. ‘Are you feeling all right? You’re awful pale.’
‘Bit of a headache,’ said Loveday, her hands gripping the bag handles with ferocious tension. ‘How much do I owe you?’
‘Don’t worry about that. My treat. I think you should get on home. Don’t you, Mr Behenna?’
*
As Loveday walked home, she had a sense of dread. A feeling that she’d been delivered a fatal wound. One that would go unnoticed for months or maybe years, but that oozed the life force out of her until she became an empty shell. She stopped at a place on the harbour wall where she could lean and look out to the horizon. She wanted to be in a far, faraway place. A town where no one knew her or could judge her. The truth was she didn’t know for sure who Hal’s father was. With all her heart she wanted it to be Mickey, but she didn’t know and she didn’t want to know. Hal was theirs – hers and Mickey’s – and that was all that mattered.
A local woman she knew a little was walking towards her, a small scruffy dog on a lead by her side. Loveday considered turning round and running, but she held her ground. The woman got closer and said, ‘Hello, Loveday. Beautiful day.’
‘Yes,’ Loveday replied.
‘How’s your boy and the twins?’
Please go away. ‘Fine.’
‘I hear your boy’s on the lifeboat.’
‘Yes.’
‘Must be so proud of him.’
‘Hmm.’
‘What are your twins doing now?’
Please go away. Please. ‘They’re doing A levels.’
‘Is it uni after?’
‘Depends on their grades.’
‘What they going to do?’
Oh, please God stop talking at me and go away. ‘Maybe nursing.’
‘Nursing! Well, they need good nurses in the hospitals. My dad had a terrible time when he had his operation. They never fed him nor changed his sheets—’
‘I’m so sorry, I’m not feeling very well. I’m on my way home.’
‘You should have said.’ The woman peered into Loveday’s face. ‘You’m looking peaky.’
‘Yes. Thank you. Well, bye.’
‘Bye then.’
The woman finally walked away with her little dog jingling on its lead.
*
Loveday struggled with the key but finally her front door opened. She shut it behind her, leaning on it in relief. After a few moments she headed to the kitchen, taking off her coat and shoes as she went. The Tesco bag, and its contents, she threw into the bin.
The hot cup of tea gave her comfort, as did the familiar surroundings of her home.
Pilot’s Cottages stood in a terrace of seventeenth-century dwellings. Mickey and she had bought one cottage in a damp and unmodernised state years ago, and the next-door cottage (in much the same state) a few years later. They’d knocked through and created four bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs, and an open-plan lounge and dining room downstairs, with a good-sized kitchen off it. She loved this house and all that she and Mickey had done to it. Her favourite thing was the brick archway connecting the kitchen and the lounge. It was like something out of a magazine.
She began to feel a bit better. There was a pile of ironing on the sofa and, as Mickey and Hal were away at sea for a few days, sh
e decided to tackle it later in front of the television. She looked at her watch. Almost time for the girls to come home. There was a half-eaten cottage pie in the fridge. She’d heat it up and that would do for the three of them. They’d eat it on their laps. Loveday took a deep breath. The sky hadn’t fallen in. Life was as it always had been. Tomorrow she’d put Jesse straight once and for all.
*
The next morning, as she approached the entrance to Behenna and Clovelly, Jesse’s Jaguar slid into its space. He called to her through the open window. ‘Loveday. Just the girl. I’m going over to Newlyn at lunchtime. See what the opposition are up to.’ He laughed as he got out of the car, still talking. ‘I was wondering if you’d come with me. I’d like your professional opinion on their new computer system. See if it would work for us.’
‘I don’t know anything about IT. You should take Steve.’
Jesse reached into the car and grabbed his fisherman’s jumper from the passenger seat. ‘Steve can’t make it, but he said you’d be the best person. After all, it’s you who uses the thing most and knows all the ins and outs.’
‘So does Lauren, and every other person who works for you.’
He locked the doors and came towards her. ‘Yeah, but I don’t owe them an apology, do I?’
‘What are you apologising for?’ she asked warily.
‘Yesterday. I was heavy-handed and put you in an uncomfortable position.’
‘Yes. You did.’
‘So can I give you a day out in Newlyn, with lunch thrown in?’
‘I thought we were going to look at the Newlyn Fish Market, not have a jolly.’
‘Yes. We are. But I can throw lunch in too, can’t I?’
She eyed him cautiously. ‘Promise me you won’t say anything more about getting Hal a car?’
‘Promise.’
*
They left shortly before eleven and the conversation in the car was work-based and relaxed. Loveday began to think she wasn’t going to have to have words with him after all.
The Newlyn operation was interesting, although the computer system wasn’t that different from Behenna and Clovelly’s. The head of accounts, a woman called April, was friendly, taking Loveday through all the systems she had. Most were familiar to Loveday, but there were one or two short cuts that she’d look into for B&C.
