by Rachel Hanna
Her marriage had been much the same. Never standing up for herself and what she wanted in life, and when she finally did, he found another woman who wasn’t so “mouthy” as he called it.
“Laura, did you reschedule my three o’clock?” her boss asked, poking his head around the corner of his glass enclosed fancy office. Mr. Sutton wasn’t a bad guy, but he demanded perfection from all of his employees, and Laura was no exception.
“Yes, sir, I did. And I called Callahan about your meeting next week. I also put the file for the new fragrance client on your desk.”
Working at a marketing firm had been interesting at first. New people, new products, good pay. But here she was almost seven years later with a salary that was close to the same when she started and the same cast of characters calling her phone everyday.
Dull.
That was her life.
She was now an orphaned, divorced, dull single woman with a small yappy dog named Rigoletto.
Ugh. Even she was tired of hearing her own sad, whiny voice inside her head. How had her life ended up this way?
At one point, she’d had this big promising future in front of her, and now she just felt like she could pack a bag and leave it all behind. Except her dog. She actually liked him.
When she’d met Ted, he was an up and coming architect with big plans to build big buildings in every major city. Life stretched out in front of her and seemed like an exciting adventure.
They’d both been in college at the time at the University of Maryland, although Ted was a year older than her. On the day of her graduation, he proposed and they married four months later. She loved the whirlwind, the not knowing where life might take her.
But life had quickly ground to a halt. Right after their wedding and short honeymoon to Florida, Ted had been offered his dream job right there in Baltimore.
Strike one - no big adventures.
Then, they learned that Ted would be traveling a lot… without Laura.
Strike two - Ted gets adventures, Laura gets loneliness.
The money had been good, no doubt, but it sure didn’t keep her warm at night. And as the years went on and she settled into her own job, Ted’s star continued to rise while hers seemed to drop into the ocean and settle to the bottom.
She felt left behind. While she cared for her mother, Ted traveled to Los Angeles and Vegas and even London. He met cool people and spent more time away from home. Away from her. Away from Dullsville, USA.
Although she was embarrassed to admit it to herself, she’d even asked Ted to have a baby with her at one point, mainly to give her something to focus on. When he declined, it should’ve been her first tip off that something was wrong. It should have been strike three.
But then her mother got sick, and all of her attention went to taking care of her. For awhile, she became obsessed with natural treatment options, even some that were out of the country, but her mother didn’t want to go that route.
Everything came to a head one day about eight months ago. Knee deep in caring for her mother, Ted had come home from a business trip to Paris. He had this look on his face as he asked Laura to sit with him on the deck for awhile.
She sat calmly, digging her nails into the palm of her hand, while he explained that he’d fallen in love at first sight with a woman thirteen years younger than him, a flight attendant on his jaunt to Paris.
Her name was Chantal, and she was apparently everything he ever wanted. Fun. Spontaneous. Perky. Romantic.
All of the things Laura had wanted to be for him before he basically abandoned her for his job.
She hadn’t even argued with him. At the time, she was exhausted already, both physically and emotionally, so she just took a deep breath and let him go. Honestly, she thought he’d come back, but he never did.
Social media pictures showed a very different man. Committed. Fun. Adventurous. The man she’d dreamed of having was now giving all of that to another woman.
“You ready to go?” Laura was suddenly tugged back out of her repetitive daydream as Carrie arrived at the office.
“Huh?”
“Lunch? You do still eat lunch, right?” Carrie smiled broadly as if coaxing her best friend into the world of happiness again.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was just…”
“Reliving history, as usual?”
Carrie knew her better than she knew herself.
Chapter 2
The two women sat at a small bistro table outside of their favorite restaurant. Carrie was digging into her enormous salad while Laura picked at her club sandwich.
“What is going on with you today?” Carrie finally asked, staring at her friend with her fork hanging in midair.
“Nothing. I’m fine.” Laura took in a deep breath and sighed.
“Oh really? You don’t sound fine. You sound like your lungs are collapsing. Come on, Laura. I’ve known you our whole lives, so don’t try to play me.”
Laura stared at her for a moment and smiled. “Okay. I’m not fine. I’m bored.”
“Bored? How is that possible when you live this life of constant adventure?” Carrie said sarcastically. “Of course you’re bored, Laura. You never take any risks.”
“Um, excuse me?”
“What was the last risk you took?”
Laura could hear the theme song to Final Jeopardy playing in her head.
“Talking to you on the playground in the fourth grade.”
Carrie giggled. “Probably true. But listen, maybe your life is calling to you to take a risk. Do something crazy. Move out of your incredibly boring comfort zone.”
“And how am I supposed to do that? Everyone and every thing I know is right here in Baltimore.”
“Laura, don’t take this the wrong way, but everyone is living their lives and you’re stuck.”
Laura’s stomach clenched. She knew Carrie was right about that, but she had absolutely no idea what to do about it.
Carrie reached her hand across the table and grasped Laura’s. “Nothing is holding you here, sweetie. You did your part and took such great care of your mother, but she’d want you to move on with your life. It’s been a couple of weeks already, and you haven’t even begun to go through her house, honey.”
“I’m just not ready yet…”
“I don’t think you’re ever going to be ready to say your final goodbye to her, but I’ll help you. Okay? Let me help you get moving in the right direction.”
Laura smiled sadly. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“Of course not! Besides, I’ll probably just follow you wherever you go anyway. There are hot men all over this fine country of ours!” she said, putting her hand over her heart like she was about the sing the national anthem.
“And you aim to date all of them, right?”
“It’s my patriotic duty,” Carrie said with a wink.
It was a weird sensation to be in her mother’s house without her. Even the sound of the beeping machines and random medical alarms would be a welcome distraction right now, she thought as she shut the door behind her.
Gone was the adjustable hospital bed that had been in the middle of the living room for so many weeks. Now there was just this big empty space that reminded her yet again that her mother was gone.
Laura stood there for a moment and took it all in, determined to start going through her mother’s things today so that she could take at least a small step forward in her own life.
There was a lot to go through given that her mother was a “saver”. She was somewhere between a collector and an outright hoarder, but definitely leaned more toward hoarding while still being clean and fairly organized.
She walked into the kitchen first, figuring it would be the easiest place to start. The first half hour was spent simply tossing everything in the refrigerator into the trash and then hauling it out to the street for pickup.
Laura was keenly aware that she was stalling. The last thing she really wanted to do was go through her mother’
s personal possessions alone. In all reality, she’d expected Dahlia to stick around and help her, but she couldn’t blame her aunt for feeling overwhelmed by the thought. She certainly felt that way right now.
“Yoo hoo, anybody in here?” she heard Carrie call from the front entryway.
“Back here. In the kitchen,” Laura called, thankful to hear her friend’s perpetually chipper voice.
Carrie rounded the corner carrying two big brown grocery bags and a smile on her face.
“Mongolian beef and sesame chicken from Szechuan Village, plus a big bottle of your favorite wine. I’m ready to help!”
Laura laughed. Leave it to Carrie to make a sad “cleaning out my dead mother’s house” event more of a party.
“I’m starving. I totally forgot to bring food, and cleaning out Mom’s fridge did little to entice me. Have you ever seen lasagna that is way past its prime? Not a pretty picture. Or smell.”
“Yeah, I think I still smell it. You got any air freshener around here?” Carrie asked as she put the bags on the counter and started rummaging through the cabinets like she lived there. She’d been raised just around the corner, so Carrie knew every square inch of the house, probably as well as Laura knew it.
After wolfing down copious amounts of Chinese food and a couple of glasses of wine, the two women started sorting through the living room together.
“Magazines?” Carrie called from behind the sofa.
“Recycle.”
“Cross stitch patterns?”
“Donate.” Funny thing was that her mother had no clue how to cross stitch. She had no clue why she would have had the patterns in the first place.
“Human head?”
“What?” Laura said as she jumped to her feet and stared at Carrie wide-eyed.
“Just making sure you were paying attention.”
Laura’s heart was pounding. “Totally not funny.”
“It was a little bit funny,” Carrie said as both of them broke into a real-life case of the giggles.
The next hour was spent sorting through the rest of the living room, and Laura was surprised that things were going at such a rapid clip. Of course, she hadn’t dared to go into her mother’s bedroom yet because that was where the memories really were. Family picture albums. Keepsakes. The smell of her mother’s perfume.
“I think we’ve about got this room done. You ready to tackle the next one?” Carrie asked, apparently undaunted and full of energy even though it was almost nine o’clock at night.
“I think I’ll probably call it a night…” Laura started to say. She wasn’t tired. She was procrastinating, and Carrie knew it.
“Are you sure you aren’t just putting off dealing with your mother’s bedroom?”
“What are you, a mind reader?”
Carrie walked to her friend and pulled her into a hug. “I’m here tonight. Why don’t you let me help you with her room? She was like a mother to me too.”
Laura pulled back and looked at her. “I think it’s something I need to do alone. I hope you understand.”
“Of course I do, sweetie. I’m a phone call away if you need me, though. And I’ll bring ice cream next time.”
Laura smiled. Ice cream had long been “their thing”. Rocky road had been there when crushes didn’t return their affection in middle school. Mint chocolate chip had been the answer to many a heartbreak in high school. And butter pecan had gotten Laura through her divorce.
After Carrie left, Laura stood there in the middle of the living room for a moment, taking in the ever-dwindling nature of her mother’s house. It seemed smaller now that her presence was no longer there.
She made her way down the hall to the first door on the right and pushed it open slowly. The creak that desperately needed oiling sounded so much louder now.
After flipping on the overhead light, she caught a glimpse of the work ahead and sighed.
“Oh, Mom, why did you keep so much stuff?” she said softly through a sad smile before the first tears made their way down her cheeks.
“Look, man, I did everything I could. They just aren’t interested in renewing.”
Sawyer Griffin paced the floor of the small office, refusing to look at his agent - otherwise known as the bearer of bad news.
“I’ve been with them for five years, Dan. I don’t understand the hesitation,” he said, slamming his fist down on the desk. Dan jumped a bit and cleared his throat.
“Settle down, Sawyer. I’ve never seen you this upset.”
Sawyer took a deep breath and ran his hands through his thick sandy blond hair before sinking down into the fake leather chair in front of Dan’s desk.
“I released three amazing albums. Fans loved them. And now the label is dropping me?”
“The last album was…”
“A departure. Yeah, I get it. But I was tired of singing those damn cookie-cutter songs. I wanted to be the artist that I really am.”
“Well, those cookie-cutter songs are what the fans love, man. You gotta please the fans.”
Sawyer stared out the small window over the Nashville skyline. “No, I don’t. I can’t do that anymore.”
“So what are you saying?” Dan asked, crossing his arms as he leaned back.
“I’m saying I’m… done. With this.”
“So that’s it? You’re just giving up your career?” Dan’s eyes were wide. “You can’t be serious.”
Sawyer took a breath and then nodded. “Yep. I’m going home.” He stood and walked to the door.
“Home? What the heck are you talking about?” Dan asked as he jumped up and followed him. “Where is home?”
Sawyer smiled like he knew some secret. He stopped and turned to Dan. “January Cove.”
The sunlight peeked through the window blinds and right into Laura’s cracked open eyelids. She turned away from the blinding light and remembered where she was - her mother’s bedroom.
Somewhere during the hours and hours of sorting and packing, she’d apparently crawled up into her mother’s bed and fallen asleep. The sheets smelled like her mother, and they were a welcome comfort right now.
Funny how grief takes a vacation during sleep, but the first moment a person opens their eyes in the morning it’s back to the real world. And sometimes reality sucked.
The sound of Laura’s cell phone beeping finished waking her up as the light of the screen brightened the room even more. She slid across the bed on her belly, reaching her arm to the nightstand, and looked at the screen. There were four messages from Carrie, all at different times.
1:15AM: How’s it going?
2:54AM: Everything okay, sweetie?
6:17AM: Okay, what’s going on? You need to answer me!
6:53AM: I’m at your front door. I’ll give you five minutes to respond before I kick it down. And you know I can do it!
Laura looked at the time. It was 6:57. She quickly ran to the front door and opened it just in time to see Carrie running toward it, obviously part of her attempt to kick it open.
“Stop!”
Startled, Carrie grabbed her chest. Laura rubbed her eyes in the morning sun.
“Why didn’t you answer me?” Carrie asked, obviously filled with worry.
“I was doing this thing we call sleep…”
“Yeah, well, don’t do it again,” Carrie grumbled as she picked up a white paper bag from the porch railing and walked past Laura into the house. “I brought breakfast.”
“Why are you here so early?” Laura asked as she closed the door behind them.
“Because I know you need help getting this place finished up so you can get it on the market.”
Laura was really spoiled having such an amazing, loyal friend, and she knew it.
“Do you ever sleep?”
“Waste of time,” Carrie said smiling as she pulled two huge blueberry muffins out of the sack. “Muffin?”
“Sure,” Laura said, catching it in mid air after Carrie tossed it. She was sort of impressed with her cat
ching skills.
“How far did you get in your mom’s bedroom?”
“Well, I went through her closet. Got a lot to donate there. She definitely wasn’t a fashionista, God rest her soul.”
Carrie smiled. “Remember that awful yellow and brown flowery dress she used to wear to your school events?”
Laura giggled and stood up. When she returned from the bedroom, she had that very dress in hand. “She kept it! Can you believe that?”
“Can I please have it?” Carrie asked, a serious look on her face. “I mean if you don’t want it?”
“Want it? I was going to burn it. I don’t even feel right donating this thing!”
“Then can I have it?”
“You’re serious?”
“Of course. It’s a great memory from my childhood, watching your mother waltz into school looking like a nineteen-seventies sofa.”
The two of them had a good laugh, and Laura gladly gave Carrie the dress. It was true that Carrie had loved her mother almost as much as she had. The two of them spent just about every day together as kids, either at Laura’s house or Carrie’s.
“So, what else did you go through?”
“I went through all of her drawers, the big wooden chest, her bathroom cabinets…”
They walked down the hall into her mother’s room. Carrie looked impressed at that progress Laura had made.
“I’m really surprised you got so much done without me… or ice cream,” she said with a laugh.
“Ice cream would’ve given me a sugar rush and then a crash… much like this bag of candy did,” Laura admitted, holding up a huge bag of mini candy bars that she’d munched on until she was about to pop in the wee hours of the morning.
“Seriously? You bad woman, you. I thought you were on low carb?” Carrie teased.
“Shhh…. The carbs can hear you, and you might hurt their feelings…”
“Okay, toss me a Snickers and tell me what you’re going to do about that,” Carrie said, pointing to the mound of stuff sticking out from under her mother’s bed.
Laura threw a Snickers bar at her, barely missing her nose. She was never great at sports, which was evidenced in her getting kicked off of two softball teams in her life.
