“Uh. Sure.”
“I hate to ask you to go in there.”
“I don’t mind. Honestly, I don’t.”
“It only encourages him in his ridiculous delusions.”
James held her eyes steadily. “Addie. Right now we just want him happy and calm, right?”
“Yeah. But what if you weren’t here?”
“But I am here.”
And you shouldn’t be. But she didn’t say that out loud. Because he’d been a lifesaver and she was so grateful to him it made an ache down in the heart of her. She turned to Devin. “Don’t be hurt that PawPaw didn’t ask for you. You know he thinks the world of you.”
“I’m not hurt.” Dev seemed to mean it. “I’m just glad he’s pulled through the surgery all right.” He clapped James on the shoulder. “Good luck, man.”
James made a low noise in his throat that could have meant anything and fell in beside Addie as she marched back to where the nurse waited to lead them through the double doors.
In CSICU, Carm stood by the bed holding Levi’s hand. His eyes were shut. But he must have heard their footsteps, because, with obvious effort, he opened them again and focused instantly in on James.
“Levi,” James said mildly. “See? I’m right here and I’m going nowhere.” Addie gasped and shot him a sharp look, but he kept his gaze on Levi as he softly added, “Rest now.”
Levi blinked a couple of times, as if to reassure himself that his old eyes and his drugged mind weren’t playing any tricks on him. Then, with a low, rough sound of pure satisfaction, he closed his eyes and didn’t open them again, though the three of them stood there for several more minutes. Finally, the nurse bustled over and whispered that it was time to go. They would be allowed back in for brief visits—no more than two of them at a time, please—for as long as Levi stayed in intensive care.
They filed back out to the waiting room, where Carmen went straight to Devin. She sagged against him. He gathered her in and stroked her hair as Addie told herself she was not, under any circumstances, going to sidle up close to James and hope that he might wrap those big arms around her.
James said, “I’ve got a room at the Marriott down the street. I figure we can take turns using it. For showers, naps, whatever.”
Carm beamed at him from her husband’s arms. “Great idea. Addie should go first. She looks dead on her feet.”
Addie sent her sister a quelling glance and asked James, “When did you have time to get a room at the Marriott?”
All twinkly blue eyes and easy charm, he coaxed, “Come on, don’t look so suspicious. I made a phone call when you two went in to see Levi. The Marriott had rooms available—you know, being a hotel and all? So I got us one.”
He’d done way more than she should have let him do and she needed to put an end to it. Immediately. “We have to talk.”
He frowned. “Now, Addie—”
“Go ahead,” said Carm with a shooing motion. “You two work it out. We’ll be right here.”
Addie so didn’t like the way Carm had shooed her—as if she and James had had some lovers’ spat they needed to resolve. But she could deal with her sister later. Now she and James had to get a few things straight.
She whirled and marched across the waiting room to a grouping of chairs along the other wall. When she got there, she dropped into one.
James took his sweet time following, but finally he sat down next to her. “What’s the problem now?”
She turned and met his beautiful eyes and said sincerely, “It’s enough—no, it’s too much, all you’ve done. And I thank you so much for everything. But my grandfather’s out of surgery now. You said yourself that you were only staying to see that he made it through all right. Well, he has. And Carm and Devin are here, to help me. You don’t need to stay anymore.”
He studied her face for several nerve-racking seconds. Then he shook his head. “I’ve reconsidered.”
Somehow she made herself ask him quietly, “Reconsidered what?”
“Levi wants me here. And he needs to have what he wants—at least until he’s out of the woods.”
“But he is out of the woods.”
“Addie. He’s almost eighty. He’s just been through major surgery. You know you want him relaxed and focused on getting well. You don’t want anything preying on his mind.”
Okay, that was true. She didn’t want PawPaw upset. But sometimes, well, people just didn’t get things the way they wanted them. “I can’t help it if he insists on lying to himself.” She blew out a hard breath. “Uh-uh. He needs to accept that he’s got it all wrong and get past his totally out-there assumption that you are the father of my baby. As long as you’re here, that’s not going to happen. As long as you’re here, he can tell himself his crazy-ass plan to marry us at gunpoint is working the same as it worked when he pulled it on Dev and Carmen.”
“So what if he tells himself his plan is working?”
She was gaping again. She’d been doing way too much of that recently. “What do you mean, so what? His plan is not working. It’s never going to work. You are not my baby’s daddy and PawPaw needs to learn to accept that.”
“And he will. When he’s ready. But he’s not ready now. All I’m saying is let me help. Let him believe what he needs to believe until he’s back on his feet.”
God. He was not only big and strong and kind and helpful, with that killer smile and those damn twinkly eyes. He not only looked good and smelled way too manly and tempting. He was also so calm and logical. And what he said actually seemed to make a bizarre kind of sense.
And she was so darn tired. She kept thinking of that room he’d taken at the Marriott. Of a shower and clean sheets and a few hours of much-needed sleep.
He leaned closer, filling her tipped-over world with his strength and his steadiness. “Come on, Addie.” His deep, smooth voice washed through her, so soothing, making her want to lean into him, to curl into a ball and cuddle up close. “Let me help you. I want to help you.”
“Why?”
The question seemed to hang in the charged air between them.
And then he actually answered it. “I like it, helping you. I honestly do. I like Levi and I want him to get well.”
“Even after what he did to you?”
James chuckled. “He’s a determined old guy. I admire that. I’m not crazy about his methods, but his intentions are good.”
She almost laughed. “What’s that they say about good intentions paving the road to hell?”
“Addie, lighten up.”
“You shouldn’t make excuses for him.”
“I’m not. And it’s not really all that complicated, or it doesn’t have to be. I’ll just hang around for a few days, help out however I can, until your grandfather’s better.”
“Define better.”
He dodged right on by that one. “Can’t we just play that by ear, see how he does?”
“I don’t...get what you get out of this. I really don’t. It’s not fair to you, to take advantage of you this way.”
His square jaw hardened. “Didn’t we already clear up the whole ‘taking advantage’ question when you finally let Walker and Rory help you out with the animals? No one is taking advantage of me. I’m doing what I want to do. And that is to be here and help out however I can. I like helping out.”
She really needed just to say it outright and she knew that she did. “You do get that you and me, that’s never going to happen, right? I’ve got a whole lot to deal with in my life right now, and a man is the last thing I need.”
He leaned even closer. Every nerve in her body went on red alert. “I do get that, Addie. Yes.” Something deep inside her ached with loss when he said that. Which was absurd. It was a simple fact and they needed to be on the same page about it. And then he s
miled, so slow and sweet and tender. “Nothing is going to happen. Not unless you ask me real nice.”
Warmth slithered through her, followed immediately by annoyance. “Oh, very funny.”
“Was I funny?” he teased. “I didn’t mean to be funny...”
“This isn’t a joke.”
“And I wasn’t joking.” His voice was so serious. His eyes were not.
She decided she’d better just let it go. “Good, then. Hold that thought. And...well, you need to remember that I’m pregnant, James.” She thought of Brandon then, with a sharp ache of loss. Brandon, too thin, too pale, the light fading from his green eyes. She made herself put it right out there, blunt as you please. “I’m pregnant with my dead best friend’s baby.”
“I am very clear on that.” He took her hand. His was so warm and big and strong. It felt way too good and she should pull away.
But she didn’t.
Across the waiting area, Carm was watching her, a sly smile on her face.
That did it. Addie tried to jerk free.
But James held on. “Hey.”
“What?”
“I want to help and I think you could use the support. It doesn’t have to mean anything more than that.”
“But you know that it does. People...think we’re together. My grandpa is still sure of that. And Carm thinks so, too, and so does Dev.”
“So...?”
She did pull her hand from his then. “Do you need everything spelled out for you?”
He just wouldn’t give up. “Look at me. In my eyes.” The man was impossible.
She puffed out her cheeks with a hard breath. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Come on...”
“Fine.” She met that gorgeous blue gaze. “What?”
“It’s so simple. I want to be here and I don’t expect anything from you. Can’t you just take my word on that?”
Why not just let him stay?
He wanted to help and she liked having him here. She felt...safe and protected with him around. No, it couldn’t go anywhere. And yeah, the way he hovered over her, taking care of her, gave her family the wrong idea. But if it made PawPaw happy right now, if it took a load off his mind when he needed to be focused on getting well...
How could that be bad, really? How could that possibly hurt?
She groused, “You’re way too convincing.”
He seemed amused. “You mentioned that before.”
“Yeah, well, I’d hate to see you in court. You’re probably responsible for a whole bunch of murderers getting off scot-free.”
He gave her that smile of his, the one that warmed her up from her head to her toes and just about everywhere in between. “I’m in business and family law. Trusts and estates, real estate, asset protection. Not a single murderer ever got off because of me.”
“I am so relieved to hear it.”
He leaned closer. “So, then. Are you going to let me stay?”
She made a humphing sound. “Is there any way I can get rid of you?”
He pretended to think it over. “Nope. Give it up. There’s no way I’m leaving, not until I’m sure you don’t need me anymore.”
What if I never stop needing you? The crazy question just popped into her head.
And she quickly banished it. Because it really wasn’t a question of need. Uh-uh. Not at all. She didn’t need him. She didn’t need any man. She could take care of herself and her coming baby just fine on her own. They’d get through this rough patch, get her grandfather back on his feet, and her life would go back to the way it had always been.
James didn’t even wait for her to say he could stay, just went right on as though it was all settled—which, she supposed, it was. “I think your sister is right. You should get some rest. Let me take you to the hotel and get you settled in.”
“I hate to leave Carm and Dev here to deal with everything on their—”
“Shh.” He put a finger to her lips, so lightly, causing a bunch of silly butterflies to start flapping their wings low in her belly. “You’ll be right down the street. Carmen can call you if there’s any news.”
Addie gave in and confessed, “I am kind of tired...”
He took her hand again. “Come on. You’ll be rested and back here at the hospital before you know it.”
* * *
Ten minutes later, James accepted four key cards from the desk clerk and handed one to Addie.
She took it and looked down at it as though she wondered what to do with it. The woman was dead on her feet.
He took her arm. “Come on. Let’s get you to the room.”
She glanced up at him then, big bronze eyes rimmed in shadows—and full of questions. “You’re going up with me?”
“Just to see that you’re all set. Then I’ll head back to Justice Creek.”
Her smooth forehead crinkled with a frown. “So...you’re leaving, after all?” Did she look kind of hurt? After all that resistance, she really did want him to stay?
That pleased him, probably more than he should allow it to. “Addie, I’m coming right back. I’ll just go home, grab a shower and toss a few things in a bag. I’ll stop by Red Hill, too. If you give me a key and a list, I’ll bring you anything you need.”
She stared up at him for a long count of ten after he stopped speaking. Finally, she said, “That would be amazing, if you would do that.” Her eyes were almost gold right then. He wished they might shine like that for him all the time—and he started pulling her toward the elevators before she could find something new to argue about. Then she asked, “Can we stop in the gift shop so I can get a toothbrush, please?”
He looked down into her upturned face and never wanted to look away. “The gift shop it is.”
* * *
“This is a suite,” she accused when he pushed the door inward and she saw there was a sitting room. “You didn’t need to go and get a suite.”
“Too late now.” He pulled her in and shut the door. “Sorry, there are only two bedrooms. The presidential suite has three, but it’s booked. I thought Carmen and Devin could take one and you and I can make it work with the other. I’ll be going back and forth from home anyway.” He waited for her to argue that no way she was sharing a room with him.
But instead she said, “I will pay the bill for this room.” It wasn’t a question.
“It’s already handled. Don’t worry about it.”
“It’s not right.”
“Sure it is.”
“But—”
He cut her off with a wave of his hand. “Let it go. Please.”
She started to speak again, seemed to reconsider and then said, “I just don’t have the energy to keep arguing about this.”
“So don’t.”
At that, she gave a tired little chuckle. And then, shaking her head, she wandered into the living area and dropped onto the couch, plunking her purse and her gift shop bag on the wide, button-tucked gray ottoman in front of her. “I could sleep for a week.” With a groan, she planted her face in her hands.
He sat down beside her, hooked an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She stiffened at first, but then she gave in, drooping against him the way she had done in the waiting room when she fell asleep during Levi’s surgery. He really liked having her there, tucked in nice and cozy against his side, so he leaned back into the cushions, pulling her right along with him.
She sighed. “I meant what I said about you and me.”
“That we’re not happening?”
“Yeah. But still...”
He smoothed her hair. “Go ahead. I can take it.”
She made a thoughtful sound low in her throat. “Well, I just can’t believe your wife let you get away.”
&nbs
p; He resisted the urge to press a kiss to the crown of her head. “Addie. What a nice thing to say.”
“I couldn’t stop myself. You really are being completely wonderful.”
“Happy to help.” He was thinking of those evenings they’d sat talking on the front steps at the Red Hill ranch house. On one of those nights, a bitter cold one not long after Christmas, they’d sat outside in heavy jackets and warm gloves drinking hot chocolate that she’d whipped up for them. That night, he’d told her that he’d been married.
He and Vicki Kelley had tied the knot when he was just starting law school.
Vicki...
He’d been head over heels for Vicki. She was smokin’ hot, a real firecracker in bed. She was also extremely possessive. And with rules. Lots and lots of rules.
Vicki didn’t like his friends or his family. For the three years of their marriage, he did what Vicki wanted and avoided all the other people who mattered in his life. By the time it ended, he’d pretty much come to the conclusion that marriage wasn’t worth it, that a man gave up too much when he tried to make a life with a woman. After Vicki, he’d never gotten anywhere near the altar again. He kept his relationships casual and fun. And when they stopped being one or the other, he would end it as quickly and gently as possible.
Addie sighed again. He stroked her arm and tried not to think too hard about what, exactly, he wanted from her.
That night when he’d told her about his marriage, he’d also said he would never get married again. She’d laughed and said she understood that. She was never getting married, period.
He’d said he didn’t get it. Most everyone was willing to give marriage a try at least once, weren’t they?
She said she’d had rotten luck with men and she just didn’t want to go there. He’d tried to coax more out of her on the subject. But that was all she would say.
Somehow, in the past few months, he was constantly thinking about her. About her smile and her thick strawberry hair, her round cheeks and curvy body. About the scent of her that was somehow just right, all sweet and sexy and fresh and feminine. About how she said what was on her mind. About how she behaved as though she liked him, but she’d always somehow made it so he never quite got a chance to ask her out. He should probably get smart and take a hint. Hadn’t she just told him for the second time tonight that nothing would be happening between them?
James Bravo's Shotgun Bride Page 5
