Losing Control (Heaven Hill Series)

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Losing Control (Heaven Hill Series) Page 3

by Laramie Briscoe


  Glaring at Bianca, the other woman flung her hair behind her as she went to put their drink orders in. It didn’t escape Bianca’s notice that she shook her ass as she walked away, probably hoping that Jagger would watch.

  “You like me that much, huh?” he tried to joke, lifting himself up from the seat and adjusting his jeans.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that the jeans were now tight over his crotch. “You seem to like me,” she grinned as she lightly ran her hand over the hardest part of him.

  He grabbed her hand and held it away from his body. “Don’t start something that I know you don’t want to finish right now. You’re not that kinda woman. Both you and I know that.”

  That hit her like an ice-cold shower. He was right. This wasn’t her. Embarrassment rode high on her cheeks as she drew her hand back from his lap and all but folded up back into herself.

  “Now, honey, that don’t mean I don’t like it.”

  The waitress came back with their drinks and took their orders. When she left, they sat in silence. Jagger’s arm rested on the back of the booth, and he lazily twirled a piece of her hair as he thought of what to say. Things had become awkward all of a sudden, and he didn’t want them to ever have to sit in that kind of silence.

  “Just to clarify, I liked that you were touching me.”

  She took a long drink of her margarita and then turned to face him. His blue eyes were so clear that she could see herself in them. “I liked touching you, but you’re right. I’m not that kind of woman, and I was about to disrespect myself just because some chick pissed me off.”

  An hour later they had eaten their dinner and were debating on what to do as Jagger waited on the waitress to bring back their change.

  “It’s cold, but would you mind walking down Broadway?” she asked, her eyes bright with excitement at the idea.

  For the first time since he met her, she looked her age. She was excited to be spending the evening with a man and it not be expected that he would at least get to second base. To make this night never end, he would do whatever she wanted and love every single minute of it.

  “I would love it.”

  Traffic was light in Nashville, and it made getting downtown to park relatively easy. Jagger parked the car and pulled a knitted cap out of his jacket pocket, putting it on before he exited.

  “Can I have the keys?” she asked as, they met each other around the car.

  He handed them to her and watched as she popped the trunk. Reaching in, she grabbed a larger jacket along with gloves.

  “I was wondering if you had a heavier jacket somewhere,” he grinned as he watched her dress in the warmer gear.

  “Yeah, I kinda hoped you would say it would be okay to walk around downtown. I love downtown Nashville. If I was a big city girl, this is where I would live.”

  He reached out, grabbing her hand, and they took off walking down Broadway. “So tell me, how’s Western’s education program?”

  She laughed. “I knew it wouldn’t take you long to get nosey. I could just tell it about you.”

  He did his best to look hurt, but she knew better. “I’m just curious about you. How is that wrong?”

  Her gaze met his again, and the feelings he inspired in her were so intense, she drew her eyes away from his and instead focused on the earrings in his ears. They were black metal circles, gauged, but she wasn’t sure of the size.

  “It’s not. Western’s program is hard. It’s really a five-year program, and I feel like I’m going so slow compared to other people. I’m on schedule to graduate in May. I’ll be the oldest first year teacher ever, but it’s better than giving up, right?” she deadpanned.

  Jagger rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand. “There’s not a timetable on dreams. If you have them, you can always achieve them.”

  “That’s pretty profound for a guitar-playing member of a motorcycle club,” she giggled.

  “Hey, sometimes I’m deep. I’m friends with Tyler after all.” He winked at her, grinning at his own joke.

  The giggle turned into a full body laugh. “I’ve talked to him a few times. He’s like Yoda. He never really answers a question.”

  “I know!” Jagger joined in the laughter. “You kinda get used to it though. It’s just who he is.”

  “It must be great to have friends like that, that you can go to whenever you need something. I have a couple friends that I’ve made at Wet Wanda’s, but there’s no one that I feel like I can really go to if I had a problem.”

  “You can come to me now. In fact, I want you to.” He took a moment to think, his face scrunched up in thought. “Aren’t you from Bowling Green?”

  “No, I’m from the big ’ole city of Brownsville.”

  “Oh wow! You really are from the sticks,” he teased.

  “You have no idea. I’ve never really been super close with my family, but I do have a few cousins that I talk to every once in a blue moon. They still live in Brownsville, and even though it’s only about forty-five minutes away from Bowling Green, it sometimes feels like it’s a whole world away.”

  He could understand that. He felt that way inside the club every once in a while. It was light years from the home life he’d grown up in. Even though they had welcomed him into the family, he still felt uneasy at times, grasping to find his foothold and his place. They were a lot alike in that regard. Grabbing her hand, they continued along the river front until it was just too cold for them to continue. They turned around, heading back towards the car.

  Jagger pulled up to the clubhouse and shut the engine off. “I had a really good time with you tonight, and I’m glad we’re going to be doing it for the next few weeks.”

  “Speaking of,” she reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope, “I was able to get $75 for you this week. I’ll try to do better next week.”

  He grabbed the envelope and reached up to caress her cheek. “Don’t get it too fast, darlin’. I really enjoyed tonight.”

  She leaned over, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I did too.”

  Chapter Six

  Jagger put his leather chaps on over his jeans and buckled them before putting on his leather gloves. The abundance of leather was there to protect him from the elements just as much as road rash if he were to wreck. This was a long protection run, and he knew that he would need the warmth they provided. A knock sounded on the door to his dorm room, and his fellow newly-patched member, Layne, yelled out that they were ready to leave.

  “Coming.”

  He made his way to the bay that they kept the bikes in during winter and saw that he was one of the last to show up.

  “Apparently, I’m late. Sorry guys.”

  “Nah,” Travis Steele, the information officer, smirked as he walked up to Jagger. “We’re all still waitin’ on Liam to get here.”

  “He’s goin’ on the run? He hasn’t gone on one since they found out Denise is pregnant.”

  “Yeah, to tell you the truth, I think he’s getting on her nerves.”

  Jagger laughed, “I can see that.”

  He took a seat on his bike, waiting for the ride to start, and pulled his personal cell phone out of his pocket. Besides his bike, his one luxury was an iPhone, and he loved it. Seeing that he had a text from Bianca, he smiled.

  Just wanted to tell u I had a good time! Thnx for the trip to Nashvegas!

  The smile on his face got bigger. She’d had a good time. That boded well for their next meetings.

  Glad u had a good time! Nashvegas next trip or someplace diff? I’m game for anything!

  His hope was that they would go north this time, not just stay in the immediate area. Riding with her had been one of the best times he’d had in recent memory. She seemed as sheltered, although in a different way, as he had been as a child, and he wanted so badly to see all the things both of them had missed out on together.

  “Let’s get this show on the road!”

  Putting the phone in his pocket, he looked up to
where Liam stood in front of the group.

  “We’re going to try and make this as quick as possible. It’s colder than a witch’s tit outside, and I know I have a warm bed waitin’ on me. We’re heading to Louisville today, the truck will drop off there, and then we’re free to head home. You can do whatever you want after we get the truck safely there, but I suggest we all ride back together.”

  Jagger nodded in agreement as everyone voiced that same opinion. Taking a bandana out of his back pocket, he tied it around the bottom part of his face. He liked wearing them because it secretly gave him a thrill. As a young boy he loved to watch westerns, and that’s how all the outlaws had kept the dirt and dust out of their faces. He wasn’t sure that he’d ever just flat out admit that to anyone, but he loved it just the same. Cranking his bike up, they filed out of the garage and hit Porter Pike, which would take them most of the way to I-65 where they could head north to Louisville.

  Bianca was beginning to get stressed. She had two papers due in the next 48 hours and over 100 pages worth of reading to go along with it. It was nights like these that dread and uncertainty rolled up in her stomach, along with self-doubt. Would she ever be able to make her dreams come true? Would she ever be able to do anything besides be a waitress in a seedy dive? Luckily Wet Wanda’s had been dead on this cold night, but in exchange for the extra homework time, she would now be low on money.

  A smile spread across her face. Maybe she could drag out paying Jagger his money back if they kept having a good time together. When he had suggested they do dinner, the reason she had accepted was so that she could get out and maybe have a good time. She hadn’t counted on the fact that he was a gentleman as well. In all actuality, she really shouldn’t have gone to Nashville the night before. It had put her even further behind in studying, but she hadn’t been able to say no, and regardless of her crazy schedule, she was still young enough that she needed to have fun. Her cell phone, which sat to the left of her, began buzzing. Glancing over at it, her heart skipped a beat when she saw it was a text from Jagger. When had that happened? Her heart going crazy because he had texted her. Something had taken hold of her the night before, she craved to see him again. She had known he would be gone on a protection run so she hadn’t expected another text after the last one.

  Just got back from Louisville and I’m hungry. Wanna grab a bite?

  She wanted to meet him badly, but she also knew that this homework wasn’t going to do itself.

  I would love to, but I’m drowning in homework and starving!

  She took the moment to pout. She really did want to see him, but she hadn’t come this far in life and in school to give it up at this point. Just as she was about to get back to writing, her phone buzzed again.

  I’ll bring you something and sit with you if it’s ok? I don’t like eating alone.

  A breath that she didn’t know she’d been holding released itself from the tightness of her chest. She had a feeling his unease had something to do with the childhood he’d told her a little about. In her experience, most highly religious families ate together, and maybe eating alone was something he couldn’t bring himself to do. What would it hurt?

  Sounds good. Just surprise me with food and when I tell you to be quiet, promise me you’ll be quiet.

  Within seconds he’d texted her back.

  On my way!

  Suddenly she panicked and hopped up, picking up stuff as she went. Her house was clean by nature, but for some reason she wanted to impress him. She had seen some of the expensive things that members of the club had. He was so far out of her league.

  Jagger remembered the way to her apartment from the night her car had broken down and he’d taken her home. He’d committed that route as deeply to his memory as he could.

  Gathering up everything he’d bought, he stuffed it all in a bag and walked up the steps. When he got to the door, he lightly knocked on it and waited for her to come let him in. He liked that she wasn’t one of those women who just yelled that it was open. She actually came to the window, looked out, and then decided if she wanted to let you into her home.

  “Hey, you made good time,” she smiled as she moved back to let him in.

  “Yeah, I was surprised they weren’t very busy,” he grinned back at her as he carried everything over to the counter in her small kitchen. The kitchen was so small she couldn’t even fit a dining room table there.

  “We can set it up in here, but we’ll have to eat it out there, I don’t even have TV trays. I really am an embarrassment to bachelors and bachelorettes everywhere.”

  “Nah, you’re good. I hope you like chicken.”

  She watched as he opened the bag and pulled out a black Styrofoam box. As the smell hit her, her mouth watered. This was her absolute favorite. “How did you know I like mine dipped in hot honey mustard? I can smell it.”

  Happiness bubbled in his chest and stomach. “I see you eat this at Wet Wanda’s all the time.”

  “Just how long have you been watchin’ me?” she asked as she dipped a piece of the chicken into the sauce and brought it up to her lips.

  “Long enough,” he answered evasively.

  “There you go, acting like Tyler again.” She hit him in the stomach.

  He wagged his eyebrows up and down, grinning at her. “It got him the girl, didn’t it?”

  She couldn’t argue with his logic at all.

  Chapter Seven

  The two sat in a comfortable silence in her living room. She, working on her paper, he, reading a book on his phone. When they had finished eating, Bianca had grabbed her textbook and told him quickly that she had work to do. Not even bothering to question her, he’d taken off his boots and cut, then he’d gotten comfortable on her couch. With great interest, she watched as he had lain down and pulled his phone out.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Reading my book while you get your homework done,” he explained.

  “I didn’t know you liked to read,” she grinned up at him from where she sat on the floor.

  “There’s a lot about me you don’t know.” The way he said it was very matter-of-fact and it stung.

  “Ouch,” she winced as his retort. “Maybe we should work on getting to know each other better then.”

  He crossed his ankles, uncrossed them, and then crossed them again. “That’s just what I’ve been tryin’ to tell you.”

  She laughed and went back to writing her paper on her laptop. This was one of the hardest papers she had written since deciding on her course of study. It counted for almost half her grade, and she was nervous about it not being good enough. A psychologist would probably have a field day with her and tell her that the feeling of her paper not being good enough resonated from her childhood feelings of never being from the right side of the tracks. Frustrated, she ran a hand through her hair and blew out a deep breath, she had to get out of her own head.

  “You okay?” he asked from where he still lay on the couch.

  It was easy for her just to go ahead and nod. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, tell me the truth.”

  That was hard for her. She was used to hiding how she felt from everyone all the time. At the club, she had to hide the disgust she felt when certain men rubbed up against her. She had to hide the look of recognition when she saw regulars on the street. When she was little she had to hide how she felt about using those paper dollar food stamps at the grocery store. People had looked and pointed at her, whispering that her mother had gotten pregnant with her to ‘draw a check’. She was very good at hiding her true feelings.

  Worry caused her to pull her bottom lip between her teeth. “This paper is so important to my grade, it’s making me nervous. I always feel like I’m at a disadvantage.”

  “Why do you think that?” he asked, his forehead crinkling with the question.

  “Because I’m so much older than everybody else.”

  A gut-busting laugh came out of his
mouth. “You are not so much older than everybody else. You’re what? Twenty-five?”

  “Almost twenty-six, but most everybody in my classes aren’t on the ‘other side’ of twenty. Speaking of which, how old are you?”

  Being a new member of the club, she wondered if maybe he was younger than she had initially thought.

  “I just turned twenty-four. Not that much younger than you.”

  That was weird; she had never in her life dated a younger man. He was right though, he wasn’t that much younger.

  “I didn’t scare you off, did I?” he asked as he saw the spooked look on her face.

  “Not at all. I’ve just never dated a younger man.”

  He sucked in a breath and acted shocked. “For shame. Please baby, whatever you do, corrupt me,” he playfully egged her on.

  “Stop!” She couldn’t help the laugh that came from out of her chest. “I have to keep studying.”

  “Then do it, nobody stopping you here but yourself.”

  Embarrassment burned her cheeks. He was right. She was the only person in her whole life that had stopped her. She’d pushed everybody else away. When you only had yourself to count on, you only had yourself to blame if things didn’t work out.

  “You’re right. I’m gonna get back to work.”

  Unbeknownst to her, he watched her instead of reading his book. He liked watching her. She was always so intense with everything that she did. He would watch her at Wet Wanda’s and see how intent she was on getting all the orders correct and making sure that the tables she waited on had what they needed. It was the same here. She looked beyond cute with her brow knitted in concentration, the length of a pen sticking out of her mouth, and her fingers flying across her laptop.

  He noticed something else about her too. Here, in this setting, without the makeup and the outfit and her hair done just so, she looked so much younger than her years. She really did look like a fresh-faced college student trying to make her way in the world. Not someone who had been hardened by the harsh realities of life. He liked her this way much more than the woman he saw at the club.

 

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