by J. H. Croix
“No. I’ve blocked him from every channel possible and changed my number. I just feel awful. I’m not that kind of person. I’m not an affair person.”
“And everybody who matters knows that. He lied to you too. I hope for his wife’s sake that she figures the whole story out at some point.” She paused, tilting her head to the side as she regarded me. “You know what?”
“What?”
“We need to have a girls’ night out. It’s been months. Life has been so busy, we haven’t made the time. How about tomorrow?”
“What if I have plans?” I countered, simply to be difficult.
Susie glared at me as she reached for her phone on the table.
“I’m sending a group text. You do not have plans. Well, now you do. With us.”
“Where are we going?”
“You pick. The lodge restaurant, or Sally’s.”
I pretended to think about it for a minute. “The lodge. I want the yummy cider.”
Her grin was wide. “Perfect. I’ll drive, so you can get sloshed.”
“If it doesn’t work for tomorrow, let’s make sure to make it happen soon,” I said as I stood from the table. The group text she’d just sent to some of our friends flashed on my phone screen. I did want to spend time with friends, but I still felt glum and wanted to shake the feeling loose.
Susie followed me to the door, her eyes worried. “I feel like you’re not bouncing back from this, Cammi. I don’t know what to do. You’re like a car I can’t jump-start.”
“I’m a car?” I returned, exasperated at the comparison.
“Obviously you’re not a car, but you get my point.”
I looked at my friend’s familiar face—her wide brown eyes and her freckled cheeks. Her bubbly personality was blended with a strength and occasionally overwhelming staunch support that made her an incredible friend. “I’ll make it through this. I’m not hung up on him. I just need to stop wishing for something I don’t have,” I assured her.
“It’s been over six months,” she said softly. “You haven’t gone on a single date. Tess even tried to set you up with that guy she met in Anchorage.”
I rolled my eyes. “He was totally not my type. I can’t do the salesman thing.”
“Don’t judge,” Susie protested. “Tess met him because he’s a great fundraiser. He was helping her with that fundraiser for the hospital, and they made a ton of money.
“Okay, okay,” I muttered. “It’s not the salesman thing. It’s just there was absolutely no oomph.”
“Oomph?”
“You know what I mean. Even when you hated Jared, the room practically caught on fire when the two of you were together. There was zero chemistry for me with that guy. I’m not going to waste my time if I can’t even imagine kissing a guy. I need to feel something.”
She sighed. “Fair enough. We’ll plan when we all get together.”
“I’m not a group project,” I warned. I glanced at my watch. “Look, I have to go. I need to pick up some supplies for the coffee truck tomorrow morning. Amy’s covering this afternoon, but I also need to get there and help her close up.”
“Aren’t you about due to close for the season soon?” she asked, referring to the fact I closed my coffee truck for a few months every winter.
I nodded. “Soon, but you know I never have a set date. Business is slowing, but it’s still steady.”
Susie pulled me in for one of her fierce hugs and waved me off.
Chapter Five
Elias
Four months later - March
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I muttered, as one of my crutches dropped to the ground when I lost my grip.
Diego materialized at my side. “Got it.” He lifted it from the ground and handed it to me.
“Thanks, man.”
I hitched the crutch back under my arm. After adjusting my balance, I crutched along beside him as we got in line at Red Truck Coffee. The moment I looked up and saw Cammi moving swiftly as she took cash in one hand and turned to pull another shot of espresso with the other, my heart gave a swift kick. Something about her coming to visit me in the hospital had knocked me off balance a little. I didn’t like to admit it, definitely not, but she’d feathered along in the edges of my thoughts ever since.
She’d been so sweet to bring me coffee. Not once, but twice. But then, Cammi was sweet.
Right. Exactly why she’ll never give you a real chance. Not if she knows you were hooked on pills once.
I kicked that train of thought to the curb fast. It didn’t matter that my addiction had been short-lived. I couldn’t shake the nagging guilt. Plus, the list of reasons why someone who reminded me of sunshine and flowers wasn’t suited for me was a hell of a lot longer than that.
“Bet you’re itching to fly again,” Diego commented from my side.
“Course I am. I fucking hate being grounded. I thought I was in the clear, but then they had to fix the pin,” I replied. My healing had been dragged beyond the initial eight weeks after the pin didn’t stay in place in my repaired ankle. Now, I was looking ahead and hoping I’d finally get my freedom back.
I crutched my way forward when the line moved, thinking I had a doctor’s appointment soon and wondering when I’d get my cast off. A gust of salty air blew across the parking area, sending a stack of napkins in a swirl through the air. I started to move reflexively and came up short right before I landed the heel of my supportive cast on the ground.
Diego was already ahead of me. In two quick strides, he caught most of the napkins, with only one or two blowing loose. A seagull swept by, actually catching one of the loose napkins in its beak before shaking it free as soon as it discovered the napkin definitely wasn’t food.
Diego held the napkins in his hand when he returned by my side. “Cammi’s opened early this year,” he commented.
“It’s March,” I replied.
“Yeah, but it’s still cold. Climate change may be coming, but we still have some cold days in March in Alaska.” He chuckled when he cast me a quick look.
It was chilly, and I found myself wondering if Cammi was cold. Her red baker’s truck had the name Red Truck Coffee painted on it in a whimsical script. You couldn’t miss her truck when you were turning down the road to Otter Cove Harbor.
When we got to the front of the line, Cammi’s blue eyes twinkled as she cast a quick smile between us. “Hey, boys. Good to see you.” Her eyes lingered on me. “How are you doing, Elias? You better be following doctor’s orders. I’m counting on a personal scenic flight from you when you can fly again.”
“I promise I’m following doctor’s orders,” I said, lifting my hand and crossing it over my heart.
Cammi’s smile felt like a ray of sun beaming inside my heart.
Diego chimed in. “He is, but he’s working on getting a medal for being a grump about it.”
“I imagine it’s not fun being laid up,” Cammi replied.
“I’ve got Daphne feeding me, which makes it easier. If I don’t gain fifty pounds before this is over, it’ll be a miracle.”
Diego laughed. “True story. Your coffee is better than Daphne’s though,” Diego said, as if he needed to reassure her.
Cammi laughed. “I know Daphne’s an amazing cook. If her coffee is as good as mine, I won’t take it personally. Will it be the usual for both of you?”
“Yup,” Diego replied quickly, his eyes flicking to mine.
I nodded. “Of course.”
Cammi had our coffees ready in a jiffy. Diego didn’t even give me a chance to pay. I nudged him with my elbow, commenting, “My treat next time.”
I took a swallow and closed my eyes. “Amazing,” I said as I opened them to find Cammi’s pretty eyes waiting.
Her smile unfurled slowly, and my heart gave another kick to my ribs. There was a line behind us, so much as I wanted to linger, we couldn’t. “Come back soon,” she called as we turned away.
“Always,” Diego replied in return as he took my coffee
from me.
“I can carry it,” I protested.
Diego stopped, his brows hitching up. “Do you want to spill it? Because I couldn’t carry it if I was trying to walk with crutches. Not worth trying to be a man about that.”
I grumbled something in return before nodding. Because it wasn’t worth spilling my coffee. “One more week,” I said as I eased my legs into Diego’s truck.
After we got my crutches put away, he handed me my coffee and started the engine. “Are you sure about that?”
“That’s what the doctor said. I’m going to hold him to it.”
Diego began driving, heading out to the harbor. He was picking up something for Flynn from Nathan Winters. Nathan Winters and his two brothers ran a fishing charter business. They often routed customers our way, and we did the same in return for them.
I looked out the window, taking in the view. It was only March, and the mountains across the bay were still covered in snow, the peaks jagged and tipped with white against the bright blue sky. The wind was up, ruffling the surface of the water. An eagle was flying nearby, coasting on the gusts of wind. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to seeing eagles as much as I did here. They were massive, majestic birds and mighty fierce. Every time I got a close look at their fierce eyes, all I could think was I would not want to be a field mouse, or a salmon in the water when an eagle came at me with that look.
“So, when you finally gonna crack and ask Cammi out?” Diego asked conversationally.
My head whipped in his direction. “What are you talking about?”
He turned the steering wheel with one hand into the harbor parking lot as he replied, “Dude, you’ve had a crush on her forever. I think she likes you too. Might cheer you up.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I muttered.
Diego simply chuckled. He put his truck in park. “I’m gonna leave it running, so you don’t freeze. Be right back.”
He jogged off, and I shifted my shoulders. I took another swallow of coffee, and immediately thought of Cammi. I liked to think I wasn’t too easy to read. For the most part, I wasn’t. Except for my friends. Diego was right about me having the hots for her, but he didn’t have enough sense to know I wasn’t cut out for a girl like her.
A few hours later
“Be right back,” Diego said as he climbed out of his truck—again.
I was discovering hitching a ride while Diego did errands wasn’t turning out to be my best choice. It was nice to get out of the house, but I wanted to be able to move around more.
Of course, staying back home had me feeling more helpless. I wasn’t going to feel better about my situation until I had my cast off and could at least get out and about on my own. I was beyond relieved that I was dealing with a broken left ankle. At least I’d be able to drive as soon as I had the cast off.
I drained the coffee, tracing my thumb over the label—Red Truck Coffee. Why did I have to go and have a crush on the girl who made the best coffee in town? It was inconvenient.
As if I conjured her by thought alone, when I glanced out the passenger side window, I saw Cammi coming out of the grocery store. Her arms were overloaded with bags. She was aiming in my direction, and I presumed she was parked nearby. Although her coffee truck was distinct, I didn’t actually know what she drove personally.
In another moment, she was stopping at the small SUV parked beside us. She hadn’t even seen me yet. “Oh, shit!” she exclaimed when she dropped a bag of groceries. A cloud of white flour puffed in the air.
Without thinking, I climbed out of the truck, grabbing one of my crutches out of the back to keep my balance. “Let me help,” I commented.
Cammi looked up at me from where she’d knelt down. Her hair was dusted in white. “Oh, hey, Elias.”
I felt my lips kicking up at the corners. Cammi didn’t seem all that upset about dropping flour and getting it all over her hair. Looking down at the ground, I saw the flour was a lost cause. The paper bag had split wide open with flour spilling all over the pavement. “Let me get some of your bags,” I said.
Cammi started to protest, “Elias, I’ve got it. You’re on crutches.”
She must’ve seen the frustration on my face because she corrected quickly, “Okay, here you go.” She handed over one armload of bags.
Holding those in my free arm, I opened the back door, depositing the bags on the seat there. When I turned back, she was brushing her hand over her hair. She looked up. “How bad do I look?”
“I think it’s kind of impossible for you to look bad, Cammi,” I answered honestly.
Her cheeks went pink, and I suddenly became aware we were standing right beside each other. Electricity sizzled through me, awareness and my need for her sparking to life instantly.
I tore my eyes from hers for a moment, and they landed on the flour on the ground beside our feet. As my eyes lifted again, I realized she was still holding some grocery bags in her other hand. Without thinking, I reached for them. My fingers brushed hers, and streaks of fire chased over my skin just from that subtle touch.
“I’ve got these,” I murmured, my voice coming out gruff.
Her fingers uncurled from the handles, and I took the bags from her, putting them beside the rest in the back. When I looked back toward her, she said incongruously, “I have a dustpan in the back.”
I wasn’t sure what that had to do with anything, and I wanted to tell her I would get it, but I seemed frozen. I could see the flutter of her pulse along the side of her throat and heard the whisper-soft intake of her breath. My eyes fell to her mouth and lingered on the little dimple on her bottom lip. My need to kiss her was fierce.
Chapter Six
Cammi
Elias stared down at me, his eyes like dark chocolate. He searched my gaze quietly. My cheeks were burning hot, and my pulse had gone crazy. I tried to take a breath, but air was in short supply. Which made absolutely no sense, seeing as we were standing outside on a windy, late winter afternoon. There was more than enough fresh, crisp air, but I couldn’t seem to get more than a shallow breath.
I felt his eyes dip down to my lips and unconsciously slid my tongue across them. His gaze whipped back up to mine, almost incredulous. “Did you really just do that?”
“Do what?”
I was pretty sure Elias actually growled. He tore his eyes from mine, leaning his head back to stare into the sky as he took a deep breath. My eyes were drawn to the divot at the base of his throat. Even though it was toward the end of winter, somehow his skin was still bronzed.
My brain cells seemed to have taken themselves out of commission because what I did next was crazy. I leaned up and pressed a kiss right there in that divot. His skin was warm, and I caught the scent of him, musky and woodsy with a hint of the ocean clinging to him.
I lifted my lips from his skin reluctantly. Then, I knew I was crazy because when I looked up, I found him staring down at me, his gaze pure fire. At his look alone, my insides went molten.
He muttered, “Fuck it,” right before dipping his head and dusting his lips across mine—once, twice, and then he fit his mouth over mine.
With each touch, it felt as if bolts of lightning were striking in the air around us. I gasped and stepped closer, sliding my palm up over his chest, stopping over his heartbeat. Sweet hell. I had fantasized about Elias whenever I let my guard down, but not one single fantasy came close to the real thing. His kiss was sure and commanding. His lips molded to mine, coaxing gently before sweeping his tongue to glide sensually against mine.
I was made of need, and I leaned into him, letting out a moan into our kiss. I felt him adjust his weight on his feet, noticing a subtle flinch when my hand slid unconsciously down his side.
I abruptly drew back and immediately apologized. “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”
“Absolutely not,” he said slowly, his eyes intent on mine. “But we are in a parking lot.”
I jumped back, almost stumbling over the broken bag of flour at my feet. Then, I re
membered I had flour in my hair. That’s what I got for trying to carry too many bags at once. I took a shaky breath, willing myself to get a grip. I wished, I freaking wished, I could play this cool. But I’d never been good at playing anything cool. Not even a little.
I started to move, but realized Elias was standing right in my path. We were between the truck he’d been sitting in and my SUV. There wasn’t exactly tons of space.
“I should get a dustpan,” I finally announced.
Darting around the front of my SUV, I circled around to open the back. Just then, I heard Diego’s voice, “What the hell did you do to the flour?” he drawled.
“It’s my fault,” I called as I popped out from behind my SUV with my dustpan and sweeper in hand.
Diego flashed me a quick smile. “Need some help?”
“I was helping her put away the groceries,” Elias interjected.
“Is that why there’s flour on the ground?” Diego teased as he opened the cab to his truck and dropped in several bags of groceries.
“No,” Elias returned, his expression getting all grumpy.
When Diego came to stand beside us, I added, “I carried too much at once and dropped a bag. Elias got out and helped me get the rest put away.”
“Do you always keep a dustpan and a broom with you?” Diego asked, his gaze puzzled.
I put a hand on my hip. “You never know when you might need them.”
Diego chuckled. “Uh, I suppose so.”
“I’ll get out of your way,” Elias said, moving swiftly with support of the one crutch to get back into the passenger seat of Diego’s truck.
I quickly swept up the flour, straightening to find Diego waiting at the front of his truck.
“You all set?” he asked with a subtle lift of his chin. Diego was ridiculously handsome with rumpled dark curls, flashing green eyes, and a body worth drooling over. I appreciated him in an objective sense, but he didn’t have the tendency to set my nerves alight the way Elias did.
